Chapter 19
Allie
The entire world collapsed into the tip of the dagger. I stood there, frozen, letting it swirl around me.
The pressure in my chest turned unbearable.
The ringing in my ears stung.
And my heart–my poor, naive, brittle heart–trembled, ready to shatter once more.
I couldn't stop staring at the blade.
The last time I’d seen it, it was sticking out of my father’s chest.
The room suddenly smelled like olive trees and death.
That awful day which had stolen so much still wanted to rip more from me. It wouldn’t rest until it had consumed me whole.
Ryker’s shallow breaths turned more pressing against the nape of my neck, a cruel reminder of the peace he’d brought this morning–only to destroy it now.
“Did you kill my father?” I asked, not recognizing my own voice. It sounded cold and detached, so at odds with the rage burning through me.
“No.”
The word rang true.
I tasted it on my tongue and felt it beating in my heart.
“Do you know who did?”
“Not yet.”
“You’re not lying,” I said, numb.
Emotions were for people who weren’t on the precipice of crumbling–or destroying everything around them in their fury.
“I am not,” he said.
I still didn’t turn.
I couldn’t stop staring at the blade.
How could such a measly piece of metal ruin so much?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.
“I wanted to make sure it was mine and not a replica.”
I nodded. Just one nod, curt and empty. “And you’re sure?”
“Yes. Stolen from my own armory.”
The armory.
I’d promised Dax I’d get him a weapon from there. I would have simply walked in there, recognized his other daggers and had my life splintered once more.
My gaze finally tore from the sharp point, inching up the blade with horror. I hadn’t seen its hilt–hadn’t even bothered to think about it as I’d clutched my father’s still warm body, that terrifying green toxic mist closing in on us.
The hilt was dark, adorned with flowing golden lines, with that same dreadful pommel on all the Blood Brotherhood weapons, where blood swirled after a fresh kill. This one was devoid of blood.
Instead, it had a sparking purple rock resting below it.
A shard of Solkar’s Heart.
An unmistakable dagger.
“When did you find out?” I asked.
“I took it out of your father myself.”
In the setting sun filtering in through the balcony windows, his shadow elongated on the table, looming over mine. Just like it had when he’d defended me against Silas.
Back when we were still enemies. When I still knew how to hate him.
He’d had the dagger then.
I shook my head. “When did you find out it’s yours?”
“When I visited Calyx the other day. He has been testing it since the wedding.”
“That’s why you wanted to talk,” I whispered.
Foolish me, I’d placed the blame on my own mistakes.
“Yes.”
“You should have insisted,” was all I said.
Silence.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you until now,” he said. “I wanted to make sure it was mine before I told you, so we knew what we were facing. I knew that if I revealed this when we met, you would have thought I’d killed him.”
“Yes.”
“Then you were recuperating after Orion and–I waited to tell you.” The words tumbled past his lips urgently. “I swear, on everything and everyone I care for in this world, on my homeland and all of my existence, that I didn’t kill your father.”
“I believe you.”
Silence.
This time it seemed to stretch for infinity, the distance between us turning into a chasm.
“Say something,” he begged.
“I need to be alone.” I still didn’t turn. “Get out.”