Chapter 35
Allie
“If Silas finds out you haven’t gone to war, he’ll definitely use that to discredit you more.” Dax ripped the last few winter berries from our garlands and flipped one into his mouth.
He’d offered me some–insisted I might waste away in the cold without proper food–but I couldn’t even think about eating.
My stomach was all in knots, and the closer we got to the city, the tighter they fastened.
Never mind the wind and hail and abject cold we’d endured during the night.
My mind felt brittle since Ryker and the warriors had left.
Maybe Dax was right. I needed to eat and rest.
But while he didn’t–or pretended not to–see the gravity of the situation, I knew.
My return to the city, without Ryker, would not be easy.
“Let’s hope he doesn’t find out anything,” I said, squinting my eyes at the mist. It had been hounding us since this morning, and didn’t seem like it would let up anytime soon. “If I’d been on the battlefield, he would have called me a traitor, fighting for our enemy. I can’t win.”
“Remember what I said about terrible men’s tactics?” Dax threw another berry in the air, but missed and lost it in the mist. “Godsdammit.”
“That’s just it.” My boots crunched the snow. “They need tactics to win. They’d be obliterated on an even playing field. Weaklings.”
I didn’t know what that made me–a loser without any tactics, probably–but I very much liked looking at myself in the mirror without seeing a monster staring back.
“So this traitor,” he said, voice too light to be casual. “What did they steal?”
I sighed. I’d known from the moment he heard, he wouldn’t let it go.
It wasn’t in Dax’s nature to ignore–being perceptive was.
“I need all the information you have to help you,” he said. “A thief behaves differently than someone who plots a breach.”
Last time I’d revealed a secret to him, we’d ended up shouting at each other. But he was right–I’d been solving problems in the shadows, while everyone enjoyed the light.
He needed to know.
I rolled my shoulders back and took a deep breath. “They stole one of the Commander’s daggers.”
“He should take better care of them.” Dax hummed. “You find out why?”
“To frame him for a murder.”
“And we’re absolutely sure the Commander himself did not commit said murder?”
“Yes.”
“Whose murder, might I ask?”
My heart slammed against my ribs. “My father’s.”
Dax froze in the middle of the snowy path.
I swore under my breath and turned, only to see Dax watching me with thunder in his eyes.
“His dagger killed Uncle Alaric?” he asked in a deadly whisper.
I tilted my chin up, ready for battle. “Yes.”
His nostrils flared. “And after seeing him on Sanctua Sirena, after he froze half of the guests, and then vanished, you believe he isn’t the murderer because…?”
“Because I know he didn’t do it.”
How could I possibly explain to Dax that I felt when Ryker was lying, even when I didn’t understand it myself?
“Like how Evie knew she wasn’t going to become queen of the Blood Brotherhood?” He scoffed. “You can’t trust these men. They’ve more than proven that.”
“You’re right.” A hard truth, but one nonetheless. “But in this instance, it makes sense.”
“Why? Because he looks at you with big eyes and offers to put up your tent?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Dax’s eyes went wide. “I’m sorry–”
Too late.
I marched right up to his face, fury burning through me. “I held my father in my arms right after he died. I still have the dress with his blood splattered on it. I still feel the drops drying on my skin. I was there.”
He exhaled loudly, trying to calm himself. “I’m just pointing out that your feelings might have overtaken your logic.”
“Do not diminish me, Daxon,” I said between gritted teeth. “And put aside your own fears and think logically–”
“My fears?”
“Yes. Uncle Maksim has lived his life scared shitless that any sentiment other than anger, ambition, and perseverance would derail him and he’s imprinted that on you. Xamor, every single person in our family has put duty above everything else. To protect is to endure. That’s what’s in our blood.”
Dax’s jaw twitched.
A rumble ruptured from my chest. “So put aside those fears and your own dislikes and think. You’ve seen how fast the Commander moves. He could have ki–killed my father right there in front of the altar before any of us could blink–”
“You stopped him from freezing us with a flick of your wrist,” he argued.
“I saw him in the maze,” I said, for the first time ever.
“You know what he was doing? Protecting Serpent and Protectorate children. Not hunting down my father. And even if he had–” I gritted my teeth when Dax opened his mouth.
I was not done. “What kind of fool leaves behind a weapon that could be traced back to him and only him? Nobody was there to stop him retrieving it. The dagger was left behind–in my father’s body–for a reason. ”
Dax closed his mouth with a scowl.
“My father was murdered in the center of our maze, right underneath our sacred olive tree, where we conducted our rituals. By someone who wanted us to blame the Blood Brotherhood. By someone who counted on our feelings and Clan animosity overriding any tactical logic. So save me the grandiose speech about avenging our Clan. Nobody wants to find the killer more than me. Nobody.” My voice fractured.
“But this heinous plan was weaved with threads we don’t even see.
If we have any chance of winning, we need to be better than them.
Think clearer. Do not, for a moment, underestimate me.
My enemies do it enough. I won’t have it from my allies. ”
“See?” Dax huffed, a corner of his lips ticking up as admiration flickered across his face. “This is why you need to be on that throne and nobody else.”
“Stop placating me.” I jerked my chin at him. “If the traitor’s still here, I need your help to find them. Will you still help me?”
Dax opened his mouth–but before any words could come out, his ear twitched.
He went completely still.
Instead of answering, he shoved me away, hard enough that I stumbled a few feet.
In the next breath, an arrow hissed through the air right where I’d stood.