Chapter 58
Allie
The icy rain hit my face with a vengeance, as if the crater itself sensed Ryker’s anguish and mourned alongside him.
The roof’s slates were as soaked as I was. I stood there against the elements, heart small, eyes honed in on the rim, with only Sylvester to keep me company on my strange vigil.
I could feel him, running around the lip, stopping for only the briefest moments, then dashing to the next location, probably hiding the same dangerous contraptions he’d used to secure the entrance.
But the rim was too wide, too gaping to protect it through human means.
Yet he tried.
Despite the impossible task.
Despite the bottomless pit of despair that still pulsed from him into me. Even then, I could feel he was trying to temper and shield its magnitude from me.
Why I could sense his pain was a problem I couldn’t deal with. Not right now, when it felt like the world was falling apart.
The vestiges of his sorrow left me on the brink of tears, the corners of my eyes stinging constantly. But this strange hurt was only the tip of my own unease.
I didn’t know who had died.
I’d only been hit with the unstoppable wave of emotions, I couldn’t see through his eyes. And, for that, I was thankful. Gods knew what had happened to unbalance an unshakable man like Ryker.
I took small comfort in knowing he wouldn’t have suffered so much if Evie or any of my cousins had been taken from this world.
This loss had cut deep and left him raw. It had been personal.
If one of his Blood Brotherhood Elite members had fallen, the chances of winning the war dwindled.
If the Dragon had died…
I shook my head. I couldn’t even think about that.
A dead heir to the throne left a power vacuum no amount of good intentions or scheming could fill. An army without a leader, even a symbolic one, was only a bigger, unruly target for our enemies. And with him gone, whatever protection Evie had would crumble.
I fisted my palms, eyes tracking Ryker’s invisible path. That strange pulse which had been simmering at the base of my skull all these weeks suddenly made frightening sense.
As if my body couldn’t stand any distance between us when he was this close. Like my spine was a beacon, sensing his approach and wanting to quicken the reunion.
Madness, of course.
But an undeniable one.
Could he feel me watching over him? Fretting? Squirming underneath my sodden coat with worry?
Not only for my cousins and every civilian the Serpents would surely trample under their expensive boots.
For him.
For the unbreakable Commander who suddenly felt brittle.
My chest constricted as I sensed him entering the crater. Breaths coming out shorter, I turned toward the entrance to Solkar’s Reach, as if I had any chance to see him through the dusk, rain, and speed.
The sky cried at his return, but even this worried me; it should have been snowing.
Solkar’s Reach was thawing under and around us, and I had no amount of intimidating the Northern Clans would help that.
“Gods,” I whispered and looked up at the unforgiving sky, as if answers would fall from it. The icy raindrops pattered against my closed eyelids as if they wanted to gouge them out. But the sky wouldn’t bother with a mortal like me. “What is happening?”
No answer.
No murmur.
No light.
Only rain and despair, growing as Ryker rushed toward the city.
Fast.
Faster than I’d ever known he could.
Sylvester must’ve sensed his approach as well. He left his perch on the tower and glided into the last murky rays of light fighting the night’s approach, to greet his Commander.
I turned and raced down the stairs, leaving rushed, sodden footprints behind.
Anticipation and dread both fought inside of me.
The fortress doors screeched open.
Excited voices floated up the floors, beckoning me closer.
Then a wail.
A scream so ugly and raw, it tore at me.
I pushed my legs harder, faster, cursing this body for not having the blessed Solkar’s Reach speed.
Another scream.
Nadya.
Why–
Why was Nadya crying?
An ugly realization hissed in my mind.
I refused to believe it.
It was impossible.
I ran faster, jumping over banisters and five steps at a time, as her sobs flayed my heart raw.
I only stopped once I saw her and Ryker in the hallway. His back was to me. She kept on hitting his chest with her closed fists, face crumpled with rage, tears falling from her eyes.
“You were supposed to protect him!” Nadya sobbed, hitting his chest harder. “You said he’d be safe!”
Ryker didn’t say anything.
He just let her hit him again and again and again, taking each blow as if he deserved them. I doubted any of them truly hurt, but seeing Nadya so unleashed felt wrong.
“What’s going on here?” Mrs. Thornbrew’s skirts swished into view like she was on a mission to chastise. She froze the second she saw Ryker, the pinched expression on her face melting. “Gods above.”
My lower lip began to tremble as my body accepted what my mind still refused to.
Nadya sobbed, hard enough for the entire fortress to hear. “How could you?”
She hit his chest once more, leaning against him like she would crumble if he didn’t keep her upright.
“I’m sorry, Nadya,” he said, voice worn and raspy, like he’d roared for a thousand lifetimes.
With another soul-crushing cry, Nadya pushed herself away from him without a second glance and launched herself into Mrs. Thornbrew’s arms.
The woman held her upright even as her eyes reddened, tears flooding her cheeks.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Ry,” she muttered, chin quivering.
“His loss?” Nadya bellowed. “It’s his fault! He promised!”
She ripped herself from Mrs. Thornbrew’s arms and raced down the hallway. The woman looked torn between staying with him and rushing after her, as if she didn’t know how to spread her motherly warmth best.
“Go with her,” Ryker said gruffly.
“She doesn’t mean what she says,” Mrs. Thornbrew muttered. “She’s just hurting. Don’t take it to heart.”
Ryker nodded, but remained silent as she swished away, leaving us alone.
Only then did I speak.
“Ryker?” I said, voice so small, I barely recognized it.
No.
Please, gods, no.
It was impossible, he hadn’t even been there–
He turned, face cast down and shameful. In his hands, he carried a familiar shield, now caked with blood. He gripped its edges so tightly, as if afraid to ever let it go.
“No,” I said, stronger this time, as if I could fight reality itself.
Finally, Ryker’s eyes met mine. In them, I saw the truth I didn’t want to believe. That one that cut me open right where I stood.
Geryll was gone.
My heart trembled with pain, each breath yanked out of me like it was the last one I’d ever get to release.
I didn’t ask how.
I didn’t ask why.
I rushed into Ryker’s arms and he rushed into mine. We collided in the middle of the corridor, two fierce warriors brought together by grief.
I hid my face against his chest. He nestled his in the crook of my shoulder.
Only then did we let the tears fall.
Mine mixed in with the blood he still had on his armor.
His vanished in my hair.
We shook together in sorrow, holding each other upright against this awful, awful reality.
“He’s dead,” he murmured at last. “He’s dead because of me.”