Chapter Twenty-Six #2
She stares away from me now, into the beds, long past their prime, flowers wilted or browned, dry bits and stalks, most of the colors faded save for a few hearty varieties I struggle to name.
“I was going to go into the water, walk until I was under, and I just remember feeling numb. I couldn’t cry at all.
I felt empty. I wasn’t thinking of you or Sélie, which I know sounds horrid.
I was only thinking that I’d miss you both, and not the other way around.
I was nothing, nothing but a burden, so why would you miss me? ”
It breaks my heart, hearing the quiver in her voice, hearing those words.
She goes on, wiping at her eyes. “But then she found me. It was the strangest thing, like the ocean was calling my name, asking if I was sure.”
“I thought you called her,” I say.
“Maybe I did. Even if I didn’t know exactly what—or who—I was calling for.
But in that moment, I knew I had a choice—three of them.
I could turn around to safety, to the cottage.
I could keep walking and drown myself. Or I could stop and answer the voice.
So I answered. And she took me. I let her take me. ”
“I understand, love.” I scoot my chair closer and embrace her. “I understand completely.”
“I miss Darius so much. And the baby—I miss not getting a chance to know him.”
Gently, not sure if it’s the right thing to say, I tell her, “They can never be replaced, but I know you’ll find happiness again, another family someday, if you wish. You’re so easy to love, Aven. And maybe in another life, you’ll meet their souls again.”
“I’m glad you didn’t give up on me.”
“I did.” I look down, kick at a small stone near my foot. “I gave up hope. I really thought you were dead. We all did.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” Aven says, blue eyes shining. “I’m back, thanks to you.”
Just when we step back into the house, a horse neighs. I snap my gaze out the window eagerly, but it’s not Orrin.
“Constable Elden,” I say to my sisters as I peek out the curtain. “Shit. I suppose I should have informed him you were back, Aven.”
“He’ll find out now,” she says, the blanket still wrapped around her.
When we let the man in, he does a double take at the sight of Aven. “Mrs. Winter!”
Aven tips her head. “Constable.”
Sputtering, he takes off his hat, stares at Sélie and me, and then back at Aven. “You’re alive?”
“It appears so.” She cracks a wry smile.
“Yes.” He still stares at her in wonder, I suppose, thinking about the misidentified body, and about his mistake in closing the investigation, even if it wasn’t totally up to him. I pray for that woman’s soul to be at peace, whomever she was. For her family to discover her outcome at some point.
As if reading his mind, Aven says, “I’m sorry for the confusion. And of course, my condolences to the family of the woman found.” She bows her head earnestly. “I hope that can be settled now, the confusion cleared up. But what can we do for you?”
“I come with news, Mrs. Winter, which I was going to tell your sisters, but since you’re here…um, you may want to sit.”
Aven does, and Sélie and I flank her, protectively.
He looks at her. “Your husband’s ship has been recovered, just a few miles outside of Salille.”
You could hear a pin drop in the cottage. On the beach. In town. We are so quiet I wonder for a moment if I imagined his words.
“Aven.” Sélie squeezes her hand. “The ship…”
“It has?” Her voice is breathless, a hint of a whisper. “Darius.”
“Yes, ma’am, and on board, the poor departed souls—all twenty-eight of them. It might take a minute, but we’ll get them sent back for burial. Mr. Winter can rest in peace now, along with his comrades.”
Darius, lost and found. My heart clenches, but mostly in relief for Aven.
I flutter my eyes shut a moment, fondly picturing his kind face, beard of gold, the black earrings he wore in both ears, how merrily he loved my sister, loved us all, tugging on Sélie’s braids when she was young enough to wear two, teasing me, kissing Aven’s neck as she laughed out loud. I open my eyes again.
Aven’s face is so white, I speak for her, trembling, tell Constable Elden, “Thank you.”
He jerks his head in a ghost of a nod, black mustache twitching. I can tell he is dying to ask us questions, but instead he just tips his hat respectfully and leaves. Glancing back once more as he rides away.
I turn to Aven, grab her tightly. “Are you alright?”
She looks wide-eyed at me and Sélie. And she manages a relieved sigh, peace crossing her fine-boned face. “The ocean returned him.”
“I think I should handle the shop without you tomorrow,” Sélie suggests to us a day later, after dinner, when the topic of work comes up.
“You’ve both been through so much. Besides, you know how people will be.
You’ll be answering their prying questions all day.
You should stay home and rest. Pearl would be happy to come in for the afternoon.
” Her eyes light up when she mentions her friend—her best friend now.
I was right about Pearl helping out at the apothecary.
She became an anchor for Sélie in a way I could have only hoped.
She got her through this time of missing us.
Aven shakes her head, and I’m pleased to see some color on her cheeks again. Even her frame seems to have filled out a little more in the last few days.
“No,” she says to Sélie. “I’ll be fine. I want to get back to normal life, to living. Of course Pearl can stay on and take shifts—I’d never take that from her—but tomorrow I’d love to go myself. I want to work.”
Sélie frowns, not hiding her doubt. “You and Corliss both showed up here looking terrible, and you were weak, and I don’t want you to push yourselves. We have plenty of time to catch up and get back to normal. Stay home.”
“I’ll be lonely,” Aven argues.
“I’ll be here, goose,” I jab at her a little.
She grins at me. “Fine. Then I’ll be bored.”
“Ha. Funny.” I turn back to Sélie. “Anyway, we’re not sick! We’re coming, and that’s that.”
Sélie throws up her hands in exasperation, fire lighting up her eyes. “Fine! It’s not that I don’t want to have you back, you mules. It’s just that I’m worried for you!”
Then the three of us fall into merry laughter.
“Mules?” Aven giggles, staring at Sélie with delight. “You cheeky thing.”
Tomorrow we will get back to the Apothicaire, into our work again.
Somehow, I will find a way to repay Marieta for planting the idea of Aven’s return in my head.
Then, finding the courage, I will go to the Colehart Mansion, in search of a former demon, who has, quite inexplicably, ripped out, not my soul, but my heart—in the best possible way.
I will ask if he wants me.
Lord knows I want him. With all of my being.