Chapter Seventeen #2
He thinks about it. “I want to see the Natural World.”
I snort, imagining Raph back on the human side of the Fade.
Maybe I could employ him at the manor after the magic is out of me.
The idea of Raph helping me tend that overgrown garden almost brings forth laughter.
I don’t hate the image. He could be an apprentice of sorts to me.
Or perhaps I to him. Living that close to the Fade…
maybe there’s some old remnants of human magic I’d find in me.
And Laura would be amused by Raph. I’ve begun to imagine her living with me too.
She’d get the storybook magic she sought, and I would gain the knowledge that Joyce wouldn’t corrupt her.
“I don’t think I can give that to you. Try again.” I select my warm loaf from the basket and he doesn’t stop me. He hums. I suddenly notice he’s avoiding my eyes. His cheeks are slightly flushed. “You have something else in mind?”
“I’m thinking.”
“I’ll wait.” I tear off hunks of bread and pop them in my mouth while he works up the courage to ask for whatever it is he wants.
“Iwannahearyousingagain.”
“I’m sorry, what was that?”
“I wanna hear y’singagain.”
I lean toward him. “One more time.”
“I want to hear you sing again.” He finally enunciates every word, looking painfully yet adorably shy as he does. “Play me a song with the lute I bring you.”
I’m on the verge of agreeing when I think of what Davien said. “What song?”
“Any song of your choosing.”
“When?”
“Any time of your choosing.”
“For how long?”
“Any song, any time, any length, and in any fashion of your choosing. You have free will to decide the circumstances of how you fulfill your part of this deal.”
I hum and narrow my eyes. “You know I know your parents now, right? You’re not trying to be sneaky, are you?”
His skinny tail twitches with annoyance. “I’ll bring you a lute if you play me a song as you want, when you want. But when you play, I have to be able to sit right in front of you to listen. That’s all I ask. No catches. No tricks.”
“Deal.” I stand and tousle his hair. Who knows if he’ll actually bring the lute anyway? “You’re not so bad, for a kid.”
“And you’re halfway decent, for a human.” He sticks out his tongue at me.
“Raph.” Davien’s tone is warning.
I stick out my tongue at the little fae, making sure Davien sees so he knows our jest is mutual. I glance back at Davien with a slight grin. “I started it.”
“I’m sure you did.” He holds out a hand expectantly.
It takes me a moment to realize he wants a hunk of my bread. Maybe I like the man more than I think I do, because I actually pass him a chunk without telling him to get his own.
“You’re not quite the docile wife I was expecting the daughter of a lord to be. I feel like our time together is punctuated with me finding you in places you shouldn’t be doing things you shouldn’t do.”
“It’s a curse of mine,” I mumble, thinking of my childhood. I always ended up in Joyce’s way or in a place Joyce didn’t want me to be. Like the back of her closet. Or in Helen’s studio.
Or the rooftop…
“I rather find it a delight. If I had to be married in the Natural World’s record to any human, I suppose there are worse ones to be saddled with.” He’s fighting a grin and losing.
“I’m shocked you didn’t find a wife sooner, with charm like that.” I shove bread into my mouth.
“I’m shocked you didn’t find a husband sooner, with manners like those.”
I roll my eyes but crack a smile. It disappears as a thought occurs to me. “You said married in the Natural World…”
“Don’t worry, we’re not married here by any stretch.” He starts toward Vena’s audience chamber. “There are no tricks and no laws of the fae I’ve used. Rumors of fae stealing women’s hands are greatly overexaggerated.”
“Of course.” I force a smile back on my lips as the sinking feeling that initially pulled it from my cheeks continues down my chest and into my stomach.
It settles like disappointment in my gut.
Why does this feel like a surprise? He said he’d leave me the manor.
He was coming to the fae world and he was never going back.
He told me what would happen on my first day here.
I’d be a rich widow. Alone in the world.
Alone so no one can hurt me…
Alone…lonely…
“I made sure Oren structured the arrangement so it would dissolve once I left.” For once, he’s oblivious to my turmoil. He doesn’t even look at me. “You will be free to marry whom you please, Katria. And I am free to make a smart match to secure the future of my kingdom.”
“You think of everything, don’t you?”
He slows his pace and finally looks at me.
The world seems to still. My breath snags.
There’s depth to his expression that, for the first time, I can’t read.
Is it sorrow? Or worry? I can’t tell. His brows are pinched slightly in the center and I’m fighting the urge to take his hand.
I want to touch him. I want to…my mind slams against the walls I’ve built around myself once more.
Not allowing me to even think about anything one step further.
“I do try,” he says softly. “But even kings are sometimes caught off guard.”
The sentiment is as gentle as a feather falling.
It lands on a cold, dark part of me that I try desperately to hide from the world.
My heart beats quickly in reply, as if it’s trying to push blood and warmth back into that unused corner of my soul.
The way he’s looking at me now…regret. That’s what it is.
“Is that why you were so harsh to me in the woods after I first arrived?” I ask, trying to honor the promise I made to myself last night, inspired by Shaye.
I’m sure she does much better at taking people to task when they have wronged her, but this is the best I can muster.
“Because the way you treated me then…I knew you weren’t angry with me, but it still wasn’t—”
“Fair,” he finishes. Davien tips his head to look me in the eye.
I’m aware of just how much it closes the gap between us.
His eyes are filled with what I’d call remorse.
They drop to my hands, which he scoops up thoughtfully.
His thumbs brush over my knuckles, nearly making me forget entirely about what it was we were just discussing.
“I know. I should have apologized to you sooner. Shaye was right and I was acting like a petulant child, frustrated with the circumstances. So you’re right, too, that it had nothing to do with you.
But that’s no excuse. I’m sorry, Katria.
I won’t let it happen again. Will you forgive me? ”
“Davien, I…” Have I ever been apologized to this gently or sincerely? My walls crumble under the heat of his presence, so heartbreakingly close.
“Oh, good, you two are already here.” Vena breezes past us. Davien drops my hands and steps away, his cheeks a little redder than they were a moment ago. “Finish your breakfast and let’s get started. There’s no time to waste.”
She opens the doors to her audience chamber. But the hall isn’t empty. Standing in the middle is a woman wrapped in a familiar black shawl. It’s the same one I saw that night in the Bleeding Woods and that day back home. My breath catches. But Davien isn’t so off guard that he can’t manage a snarl.
“Butcher of Boltov,” he growls and lunges to attack.