Chapter Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Eight
Iam awake well before the dawn, so I get to watch sunlight creep across the room and warm Davien’s cheeks.
We’re bundled up tightly in the blankets and each other’s arms, warded against the chill.
I slept harder than I have in a long time and woke with the thin sheen of bliss from last night’s affairs still coating me.
But rather than going back into that deep and dreamless rest, I choose to stay awake so I can imprint this image of him onto my memory.
This is our first and only morning together.
It is likely the only morning I will ever wake up in a man’s arms. Even if Davien is right and love is not the wicked poison that was fed to me by Joyce, I don’t think I will ever seek it out.
Partly because I’m still afraid of falling in love.
But now also because I will never find a man who knows me as Davien has come to know me.
Who sees me for all I am and wants me despite my scars.
Who makes me smile with his sheer existence in an utterly illogical, impossible, and yet wonderful way.
He stirs and I can feel the peaceful spell that had been woven around us unraveling.
Soon we will get up. There’ll be clothes, and breakfast, and the planning of rituals.
I will give the magic that I’ve been carrying to him.
And after that, the only way I will exist in this world is in the memory of a Fae King.
Davien’s eyes crack open. He blinks sleepily, then turns his head to face me. “Good morning,” he mumbles, rubbing his nose against mine before giving me a peck on the lips.
“Good morning,” I echo with a smile.
“How did you sleep?”
“Fantastic, and you?”
“Best sleep of my life.” I feel his muscles tense as he stretches. The sensation fills my hollow and aching core with a desire that I’m far too spent to indulge again. “I’m beginning to think that the old folktales about the fae were more accurate than I’d assumed,” he says.
“Oh?”
“If I had known that stealing a human and spiriting her away to my world would fill me with such joy and give me the best sleep of my life, I would’ve done it much sooner.”
My laughter echoes off the rafters above us. “If you had spirited away any other human, she would’ve been dead.”
He purses his lips. “Then perhaps I am finding myself more grateful than I previously thought possible that you stole my magic.”
“And now I need to give it back.” I begin to untangle myself from him, but as I go to sit up, his arms circle me. He pulls me to him and curls around me, my back against his chest. We fit together perfectly in every way imaginable.
“A little bit longer,” he whispers. “I want to remember everything about this morning.”
“I am helpless to deny you,” I murmur. The notion still terrifies me. But I suppose I don’t have to come to terms with this love, since we will be in different worlds soon enough. That’s certainly one way to protect myself from becoming too involved.
“Good, then I have you right where I want—what’s this? I didn’t notice it in the darkness last night,” he whispers. I feel his finger press into my back. I wince and draw a shuddering breath. “Katria?”
“I…it was a long time ago.”
“If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to.” He must hear the pain in my voice.
I am well and truly hopeless for this man, because I say, “I want to. It was a long time ago…before Laura, my youngest sister, was born. Helen had been relentless that day and I fled to the rooftop.” In my mind, I’m six years old.
Joyce and Helen have just come into my life.
“Helen chased me to the edge of the rooftop. She kept pushing and pushing. She wouldn’t stop.
The edge of the roof came so fast, and we both went over.
I remember seeing her falling ahead of me.
Then, somehow, I caught up to her. My arms around her, we landed hard on the walkway that stretched around the manor, my back to the stone, her on top of me. ”
The scent of burning flesh fills my nose and I cringe. “Everything after that was a blur. I was in shock, I think…but my back was bleeding so heavily, the wounds had to be cauterized. Joyce did it with an iron shovel from a set of fireplace tools.”
That day was the only time I ever saw her look close to being worried about me.
As she cauterized the wounds, she looked horrified, scared even.
And yet, over and over, she whispered, “Monster, monstrous creature,” as my father looked on helplessly.
“You are lucky you have me,” she told him, “lucky I can handle this.”
“I was never allowed on the roof or anywhere high up again. Joyce hated me more after that. I think she resented me for almost getting Helen killed.” She began sending my father away more and more often after that, and I was sent to live in the servants’ quarters like the monster I was.
“It wasn’t your fault.” He sighs, running his fingers over the scars. “I wish I had magic enough to take away every pain you have endured so that you would never have to suffer them again.”
“Well, if my family loved me more—properly—they wouldn’t have sold me off to you so easily and we wouldn’t be here.” I lace my fingers through his.
“That isn’t an excuse.”
“I know. But I’m finding it makes me feel better that you are my silver lining.”
“Then I’m happy I can help,” he murmurs and shifts closer.
We lie together for as long as we can. But the rising sun is as relentless as our duty to all the fae folk. Eventually, his arms relax, and we both know that we have procrastinated long enough.
“Hopefully Shaye and Giles will show up today,” he says as he tugs on his pants. Given that he said nothing I could only assume his alarm rituals did not trigger.
“Agreed. Though I must say, as much as I want to see them and know they’re all right, I’m glad they didn’t show up last night.” My grin is reflected on his face. Davien’s eyes shine mischievously. He wants to kiss me; I know what that expression means now. I almost take a step forward so he can.
“Don’t tell them, but I feel the same.”
“So, what do we need to do for the ritual for me to give you this magic?” I ask, now clothed.
“Here, I’ll show you what Vena sent with me.
” From the saddlebags, Davien retrieves a folio with several loose pages.
He lays them out on the table where our blanket just was.
Then he pulls out the glass necklace that I’d tried to put the king’s power into.
“The idea is the same: You’ll abdicate and in doing so fill the necklace with the king’s magic, then you’ll bestow it on me.
The lake will offer a catalyst to help draw out those powers.
We will anoint you in its waters as an heir to the throne would be.
That way, hopefully, the magic will be less dormant and more controllable. ”
I scan the folio pages intently, and I begin to find some sense in them. It’s a pattern, a rhythm. Maybe some of what he said last night during our short-lived magic lesson sank in.
“May I make a suggestion?” I ask.
“Always.” He regards me curiously, no doubt wondering what would make me speak up.
“Here…I think that I should be the one to say this line, not you.” I point at a part of the script Vena has written out for us.
“Why is that?”
“I’m not sure…I—” I hum, trying to find words. “It’ll flow better, I think. The ritual will just work. It’s a gut feeling. But I…how to explain—”
“You don’t have to.” He stops my fumbling. “Your instincts have been proven right time and again. Be it the magic within you guiding you or just some innate ability you possess, I trust you.”
“Good, because I have some other changes.” I give him a sly smile and he chuckles.
“Tell me.”
We discuss it all throughout breakfast, debating Vena’s rituals and making adjustments. It’s a bit awkward at first. No matter what he says, I worry about overstepping. He is the Fae King. He was born of this world with magic. Who am I to question?
But he had said that some, like Vena, were so in tune with their magic that they could see rituals. Perhaps he’s right and it is the magic within me guiding the path forward. I put my faith in it.
The sun is high when we finally head outside. The fog still encircles this place like a living wall. It feels as if we are encased in clouds, floating high in the sky.
“Are you ready?” he asks.
“No reason not to be.” I clutch the necklace with a white-knuckled grip.
I stripped down to my smallclothes and am already almost shivering even though the sun is on my shoulders.
I made it a point to stoke the fire before we left the keep.
No matter what happens, I am returning to the warmth of the hearth promptly after this is over.
“At your leisure, then.”
Sucking in a bracing breath, I step into the water.
It’s cold as ice. I exhale through chattering teeth, forcing myself to keep walking over the smooth pebbles at the bottom of the lake.
As I move, the ripples in the water shimmer like the cosmos I saw on my first night in Midscape.
I can feel the magic radiating all around me, calling to me.
The faint song I heard in the fog resonates once more, as though its source lies deep within the lake’s center.
I pause as the water hits my lower stomach. Shaking, I wrap my arms around myself, trying to conserve the last scraps of warmth I have. Davien stepping into the water behind me is what forces me to keep going. I inhale sharply as the water reaches my rib cage.
Davien comes to a stop behind me. I turn to face him and he looks just as cold as I am.
“Are you ready?” he asks.
“I am.”