Chapter 1 #2
“You can’t keep her; she ran away. Tinkerbell’s gone, and you should be pleased.” I smiled disdainfully and scrubbed a hand over my face. “You’re the one making me act like this. You know that, right?” I threw the accusation at him so he’d stop looking at me like this was solely my fault.
It was all his fault—the things he whispered to my conscience, the crying that sometimes wouldn’t stop. And we both knew how hard I tried to soothe him.
“I like her,” he answered, folding his arms over his chest. He was pouting, but I didn’t give a shit because he was the one who had gotten me into that situation.
“You know you can’t have a relationship with a girl like Selene when you’re sleeping around, don’t you? It’s disrespectful, and she’d never accept that kind of thing. She wouldn’t share. It was right for her to leave,” I chided him, raising my voice.
Damn it, why does this kid get me so fucking angry?
“Take a hike; you’re getting on my last nerve,” I added threateningly before heading for the toilet, a more urgent physiological need forcing me to interrupt my absurd conversation.
The problem, though, was that pissing with an erection like the one I had was not only difficult but also pretty annoying.
I tried to think about something else, to focus on a topic completely removed from sex, like schoolwork, upcoming exams, or graduation. Finally, I managed to get rid of it.
“Fucking Boy,” I grumbled at the moody little shit and immediately got into the shower.
Forty minutes of freezing water were sufficient to soothe my anger, cool my arousal, and banish the smell of Jennifer’s saliva and our shared sweat. It was my favorite part of the day: just water, body wash, and artificial scent.
Everyone knew how fixated I was on hygiene, just like they knew how choosy I was about the women I fucked and how I was rarely inclined to give my prey oral.
I got pleasure from the act but not with everyone.
In fact, with almost none of them, except for Tinkerbell, whose taste was still imprinted on my palate.
She tasted different, an intense, unique flavor, simply…her. I needed to stop thinking about that, though, or my hard-on would come back and, this time, a mere cold shower wouldn’t be enough to get rid of it.
I emerged from the bathroom completely naked, my body still dripping water, and went to put on my boxers. Jennifer and Xavier had finished by then and were lying comfortably on the pool house’s bed, each smoking a cigarette. I could feel their eyes on me, but I didn’t spare them a glance.
“Who were you talking to in there?” Jennifer asked, breaking the silence as I pulled on my jeans.
“I was on the phone.” I lied. Shit, I hadn’t even realized I’d raised my voice so much that I could be heard out here. Making up a lame excuse was really all I could do.
Jen’s face turned skeptical, and Xavier sat up to scrutinize me more closely.
“How long does it take you to shower, man? I hope you at least rubbed one out in there, bro. I don’t know how you can hold back after fucking for an hour.” He taunted me while I pulled a white sweatshirt over my still-damp chest.
My hair was a mess because I’d only dried it with a towel, so I went to the mirror and ran my fingers through it.
“Xavier, you should have no interest in what I do—or don’t do—with my dick,” I groused before grabbing my keys, cell phone, and pack of Winstons. I turned to look at them then and caught Jennifer staring at my ass, like usual.
“I’m going out to smoke. Clean up in here and crack a window.” I walked out the door, tugging the hood of my sweatshirt over my hair to keep out the cold. I sat on a chaise lounge and lit up a cigarette, exhaling smoke into the air.
I stared at the crystalline water of the swimming pool in front of me and relived the moment when, in our indoor pool up on the third floor, I had seduced Selene and stolen her first kiss.
I recalled her small body interlocked with mine, her ocean eyes staring up at me in apprehension, and the sweet taste of her spreading across my tongue. I’d become addicted to her full lips.
How many women had I kissed in my life?
Too many.
But no other kiss had ever had such an effect on me.
I could still feel the heat of that moment, as though it had left an indelible mark on my skin. I tried to push those thoughts away, but the memories kept coming back, like my brain was entertaining itself by torturing me.
I relived the moment I saw her in my room that first morning after, scared and swathed in a sheet from my bed.
Her auburn hair was tangled, and her lips were swollen and chapped.
She woke me up by referencing Bukowski while panic spread through her body as she gazed at the proof of her lost virginity staining my bed.
I had stripped her purity from her while I was off my face, but I’d still managed to make myself feel good, like the bastard that I was.
Selene was something novel for me. She had always been odd but adorable at the same time, with her little faces and her shyness, which then gave way to her more stubborn and aggressive side.
Still, a sly smile or a dominating kiss was enough to break through her armor.
Maybe that was the exact reason I’d taken such advantage of her good nature while never realizing just how worn down she’d become by my lack of respect for her. She was disillusioned by my constant bad behavior, consumed with managing my notably difficult personality.
I knew very well that Selene had left because I’d finally gone too far.
It had been at a Halloween party. Not only had I made a random blond suck me off right in front of Selene days before, but at the party, I’d also asked Jennifer to play one of our perverse games and dragged Selene into it as well.
I knew how deeply they hated each other, which was exactly why I’d selected Jennifer to be the third party.
I needed Babygirl to understand who I really was—a deviant who used women as he pleased.
I needed her to keep her distance from me.
“Hey, I knew I’d find you out here. What’s on your mind?
” My brother approached me, balancing on crutches.
He lowered himself slowly onto the chaise next to me and sighed.
It wasn’t easy for him, living with the fallout from his near-fatal accident.
Though the bruises had mostly faded, every time I saw the bandages and scars on his face, I remembered how close we came to losing him, and my chest tightened miserably.
“Nothing, really,” I answered, not telling him that my “nothing” was actually Selene and that I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
“Mmm-hmm…” he murmured thoughtfully. I was pretty sure that Logan knew me well enough to know when I was trying to bullshit him. “Did you call her yet?” he continued, and I instinctively swung my head to stare at him.
What the hell kind of question was that?
I didn’t call women. I wasn’t interested in talking to them and I didn’t give a shit about their lives.
Sure, I had “stolen” Selene’s number from my brother’s contacts and yes, I had texted her while I watched her from her balcony, but I didn’t have feelings for her. Just sexual attraction.
“Why would I call her? I don’t do shit like that.” I did other, much worse, shit.
“Alyssa and I both asked her to give us a heads-up when she got back to Detroit, but neither of us has heard anything. Not even a text,” Logan said softly, with a hint of unease in his voice that suddenly made me feel nervous as well.
But I wasn’t going to allow myself to spiral.
My brother was different from me. He was thoughtful and kind and got attached to people so easily.
“Relax. It probably just slipped her mind. She probably needed to talk with her mom, unpack her stuff, tell all her friends she’s back…” I continued smoking nonchalantly, imagining those exact things happening. “You know, all that bullshit,” I concluded tonelessly.
Logan cocked an eyebrow at me. He seemed skeptical and a bit surprised by my indifference. Annoyed, he sucked in a deep breath before turning toward the pool house as we both heard the door shut with a click.
“Here are the keys.” Xavier tossed them at me, and I caught them in one hand. Jennifer stood next to him, wrapped up in her jacket because of the cold and grinning at me. Her makeup was smudged, but her hair was perfect again. It was an appealing look.
“Oh, hey princess,” Xavier sneered at Logan, but I stared him down with the obvious intention of putting a stop to whatever shit he was about to say or do.
“See you tomorrow,” I cut in firmly. He gave me an arrogant shrug and headed for the gate, followed by a winking Jennifer.
“I can’t believe you…” Logan burst out. “When are you going to stop doing this shit?”
Maybe I would have stopped one day, or maybe I would have just continued on forever, because that was how I was built—badly.
“Did you come out here to lecture me?” I asked defensively. I didn’t need any reminders that I was in the wrong, that I was a twisted person with a deviant personality.
In the end, that wasn’t my fault.
If I’d a more normal childhood, I’d probably be a very different person.
“No, I came out here because ever since this morning—ever since Selene left—you’ve done nothing but avoid me.
Fucking Jennifer isn’t going to help you get over her, you know,” he answered firmly.
I turned to look at him, cigarette clamped between my teeth.
“Get over her.” Fuck, that was a heavy phrase.
What the hell was Logan thinking? That I was somehow entangled with that girl? That I was somehow…
“Do you think I’m in love with her?” I asked him derisively. I nearly laughed in his face—it was ridiculous even imagining such a thing. I was done with the little brat.
She was back in Detroit, back to her real life and far away from me. Far away from Player 2511 as well and all the other dangers that surrounded me. And that was exactly how I wanted it.