Chapter 24 #2
In one particularly memorable loop, we confront Oshkoff and the other students with the truth about what’s happening to us.
In retrospect, I’m not entirely sure what Chris had hoped to accomplish with that one.
He claims it was to ‘upset the status quo.’ Regardless, it does not go well.
At first, Oshkoff thinks we’re trying to derail the trip and cause drama, which is bad enough.
But then she decides we might be suffering from delusions, which is even worse.
I’ve never been happier to wake up to my beeping alarm when an iteration resets.
At Chris’ urging, we even invest a few cycles into asking around town for anyone with unsolved problems so that we can assist them.
That one had seemed pretty out there to me—I mean, would the universe really trap us in an eternal time loop just so we can help some old man fix his fence?
But as Chris argues, when you’re dealing with a real-life Groundhog Day scenario, anything is possible.
None of our efforts make a single bit of difference.
One Saturday blurs into the next until I stop keeping count, and with each passing cycle, I become a little more convinced that, no matter what we do, Chris and I are going to remain trapped forever in the day that never ends.
The idea should terrify me, and sometimes it does.
Other times, however, like when I’m lying awake at night picturing Chris’ wry smile, an eternity stuck here together doesn’t seem quite so bad.
Such musings occupy my thoughts during our most recent iteration.
Chris had gotten it into his head that Fort Mackinac might be the locus of some ancient curse, so he’d insisted we search the place from top to bottom.
And while we’ve turned up no hints of angry spirits, the fort itself is cool.
Set atop a perch overlooking downtown, it’s full of all kinds of historical reenactments, and much of the original architecture’s been preserved.
I’d eventually ended up in the library, which features books from when the fort had still been active.
I’m perusing an account of Mackinac Island’s history, from its Native American presence to eventual European settlement, when Chris joins me. “No luck?” I ask without looking up.
“None whatsoever.” He plops into a chair beside me. “You’d think it would be easier finding one measly curse to expunge.”
I eye him over my book. “What if it’s the wrong curse?”
“Well, then at least we did someone a favor. Maybe that’s why the universe trapped us here—so we can save some poor soul from the curse tormenting them.”
“I guess that’s one way to look at it,” I say with a chuckle. “Find me a curse, and I’ll happily help you break it.”
“Deal. Trust me, if I find one, you’ll be the first to know.”
He picks up a book from a nearby table and begins absently flipping through it.
To my surprise, he settles back in his chair, seeming as content as I am to pass the time reading.
It shouldn’t come as some great shock—after all, he’d switched his degree to English and admitted he wanted to be a writer.
But I’d never seen this side of him before.
How had I missed such a vital part of him?
Had I been that oblivious? Or had he felt compelled to hide himself from me?
He’d always been the loud, outgoing athlete, and I’d been the quiet, introspective kid who’d rather stay home and play the latest RPG than go out and party.
Seeing him like this makes me wonder what other ways I’d failed on the relationship front.
Maybe I’d never truly known him at all.
Chris sets down his book and fixes me with a frown. “All right, Perce, spill. What’s wrong?”
I shift in my seat, ducking my face behind my own thick volume. Am I really that easy to read? “Nothing. I’m fine.”
A chair creaks, and then Chris is standing there in front of me, shoving down my book and forcing me to meet his concerned hazel eyes. “Uh-huh. That’s what you’re going with?”
“Really. It’s nothing.”
He sighs. “Come on, Perce. I realize we haven’t been close in a long time, but I still know you. I can tell when you’re upset. Talk to me.”
“That’s the problem,” I blurt. “I feel like I don’t know you!”
He furrows his brow. “Well, yeah. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do. But seeing as the universe seems obliged to give us all the time in the world in which to do it, I think we’ll be all right.”
I let out a frustrated growl. Shoving to my feet, I pace a few feet away between the shelves. “That’s not what I mean. How the hell did I not know about this?” I make a sweeping gesture.
He blinks. “Books?”
“No, you and books!”
It takes a moment for his confused expression to clear. “You mean my writing?” When I jerk a nod, he continues. “I told you, I let it fall by the wayside once we started dating. What with school and track and a secret relationship, I didn’t have a ton of time left over for anything else.”
He says it as a joke, his tone light, but for some reason, that only upsets me more. “That’s no excuse!” I bunch my hands into fists. “I should have known what my own boy…what you were into.”
“Well, we did spend a lot of time on other things,” Chris says, still trying for humor.
The fight goes out of me, and I slump into the nearest seat, burying my head in my hands. “Was I that terrible of a partner?” I mumble between my fingers.
Chris lets out a long sigh. His footsteps echo on the floor until I sense him hovering above me. For the briefest of moments, I feel a light brush of fingers caress my neck.
“No more than I was,” he says softly. “We were both young and stupid. We didn’t have a clue what we were doing, and the added stress of keeping everything a secret didn’t help with figuring it out.”
There’s something I want to ask, but I’m terrified of the answer. At last, I spit it out. “Do you think things would’ve worked out differently if we’d been better at communicating? If we’d talked more about how we were feeling?”
He’s quiet as he mulls it over. I tense, dreading his response.
I don’t know why I asked when I already know the answer.
Of course they would’ve. If I’d opened up about what was going on with my mom instead of pulling away, we never would’ve had that fight or at least might’ve had a chance to move past it.
Instead of facing all the horribleness that followed alone, I’d have had him right there by my side.
“I think there’s a lot of things we both could’ve done differently,” he finally replies, his voice laced with so much regret it leaves me aching. He offers me a small, sad smile. “But that’s all in the past. We can’t change what happened. All we can do now is try to move on with our lives.”
Move on…right. That’s what this whole damn weekend was supposed to have been about. But the universe seems to have other ideas. How can I move on when a time loop is literally keeping me stuck in place?
That evening, I retire to my room early, claiming I want to brainstorm more ideas.
Instead, I spend what’s left of the night grinding in RuneWorld Online.
The exercise is even more pointless than usual since my progress will be erased as soon as I fall asleep, but I don’t care.
Anything to take my mind off the regret I’d seen in Chris’ eyes…
and the inescapable conclusion that, no matter what he says, it’s all my fault.