Chapter 29
twenty-nine
Chris
We sneak out the back of the Royal Lilac and cut around the neighboring backyards toward downtown. I don’t think either of us wants to deal with an irate Oshkoff this morning, and Percy puts up even less of a fight than usual at the prospect of breaking the rules.
Then again, he’d agreed to that date yesterday and to having some fun today, so maybe he’s finally learning to loosen up a little. To put his own desires first without worrying so much about what others would think.
He deserves that joy more than anyone else I know.
And after his confession during our road trip and how in his head he’d seemed over breakfast, I’m more determined than ever to show him a good time and break through his shell—to be responsible for more of those laughing, carefree moments when he forgets to be stressed and lets himself relax.
Walking side-by-side with Percy down the road, my mind returns to last night and our stroll in the other direction to Sunset Rock. I reach out to snag his hand, and he doesn’t resist, hanging onto me almost as tightly as I cling to him.
Maybe we both need this chance to decompress and let off some steam.
As much as I’d enjoyed our newfound intimacy last night and this morning, I have to be careful not to delude myself into thinking this is more than it is.
Hence what I’d said to Percy about keeping things casual.
I’d seen the raw panic in his eyes when he’d considered a future together, and as much as setting an expiration date on us tears at me, I’d trusted Percy with my heart before and been burned.
I’m not about to make that same mistake again—not while any doubt remains over his level of commitment.
For now, however, we both want this, so why not live a little and enjoy ourselves without the risk of disappointment? Today is about Percy and me having fun. Let the future—assuming it ever comes—wait.
“So, where are we going?” Percy asks as we skirt past a group of tourists already making their way around Main Street.
“Taking a day off.”
Percy rolls his eyes. “Sure, but how? I’m assuming you’ve got something in mind?”
I do, but I’d rather it be a surprise. To be honest, I’m not sure how much of Percy’s thing it’ll be, but he’d seemed to enjoy the adventure park well enough, so maybe there’s hope for him outside a computer screen after all.
“Something I’ve wanted to do since I first got here,” I reply.
“Then why didn’t you? That first day, I mean, before the time loop started.”
I shrug, weaving us around the crowd pouring off the latest ferry. “The only reason I even came on this trip was for Quinn, and it wasn’t exactly up her wheelhouse.”
Percy chews on his bottom lip, suddenly looking doubtful. “You know, you could’ve invited her along for our day off. I wouldn’t have minded. She’s your friend.”
“So are you.” I give Percy a stern look.
“And she’s not the one I want to spend time with right now.
” He blushes and looks away. Shit. Did that give too much of my feelings away?
I try to backtrack. “I mean, you’ve met her quite a few times by now.
Do you really think she has any trouble letting go and taking a day off? ”
Percy chuckles. “You’re saying I’m a more difficult patient?”
“Oh, without a doubt.” I grin and bump my shoulder against his. “But I’m banking on you not being terminal. Otherwise, today’s going to be over real quick.”
He laughs, and the sound warms my chest. Mission accomplished. Now if I can just do that a hundred more times today, maybe I’ll be able to die satisfied.
We’re near the far eastern edge of downtown along the lakefront when I notice Percy checking his phone.
I snatch it from his grasp. “No phones,” I announce, ignoring his startled complaint as I dangle it out of his reach.
“Reminders from the outside world are the last thing we need today. This is about seizing the moment, not fretting over real life.”
A shadow passes over Percy’s face, quickly replaced by a grin. “Fine. No phones. It’s just you and me.”
And God, that thought really shouldn’t send such a wave of contented butterflies fluttering through my stomach.
I pass him his phone. True to his word, he powers it down, rolling his eyes when I make him show me the screen as proof.
I do the same, leaving us both untethered.
It’s not the first time we’ve gone without phones during an iteration, but something about it feels different today.
Or maybe it’s only me that’s different. Me and Percy.
He’s letting me hold his hand, I realize. We’ve been weaving our way through public for a good twenty minutes now, and he hasn’t let go or seemed self-conscious even once. It’s a small thing, but it feels like a momentous victory all the same.
We reach the small dock I’d spotted with Quinn, and I’m relieved when Percy’s face lights up at the rental sign. “Kayaks?”
I nod. “I’ve done it a few times in rivers, but never out on open water like this. Ever since I spotted this place, I’ve been itching to try it out.”
“Oh, it’s a blast on the lake! A lot more peaceful than kayaking on a river since you don’t have to deal with as strong of a current or navigate around obstacles. As long as you stick close to the island, you can sit back, relax, and enjoy the view.”
“Sounds perfect.”
After paying for our rentals, we tug on bright orange life vests, grab paddles from a bucket, and carry our selected kayaks to the water. Percy maneuvers into his seat easily enough, but I’m so distracted by the sight of him bending over that I almost tumble head-first off the dock.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” I grumble once I’m properly settled into my kayak’s stiff plastic seat.
Percy wipes at his eyes. “Aren’t you supposed to be the athlete here?”
“Former athlete.” I start up a rough stroke, alternating sides to propel me smoothly through the water.
Usually, thinking of my old track days is enough to send me spiraling, but today, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal.
I miss it, sure—the team, the camaraderie, pushing myself to compete—but it’s no longer this empty, gaping hole inside me.
I glance at Percy and find him still grinning.
My heart stutters at the sight, and an answering smile tugs at my lips.
Maybe it bothers me less because I’ve found something else to fill that hole.
Which…wow, now I’m picturing all kinds of inappropriate things.
Thank God Percy can’t read my dirty mind.
“Whatcha thinking about over there?” Percy calls, because of course he notices my mortification.
“Nothing.” I ignore his questioning look and study his firm stroke. His biceps pull taut with each expert dip of his paddle as he pilots his kayak away from shore with practiced ease. “How’d you get so good at that? We never went kayaking while we were together.”
Percy’s smile dims. “My parents and I used to go out every summer when we visited.”
I mentally berate myself for dampening his good mood.
Of course it had involved his mom. Should I apologize for bringing it up, or would that only make things worse?
I don’t want to draw more attention to his loss than necessary.
As if this whole damn island isn’t already full of far too many painful memories for him.
“I’ll race you to that point over there,” I say, pointing to a spot further down the shore. “Last one there buys lunch.”
For a moment, I think he’ll refuse. Then he nods, a ghost of a grin resurfacing. “You’re on. Don’t worry. I’ll go easy on you.”
Turns out, Percy’s definition of easy still leaves me panting with exertion, soaked with sweat despite the crisp autumn breeze. He wins, of course. It’s hardly even a contest—I’m pretty sure the only reason he didn’t smoke me was that he hung back so we could smack talk each other.
At least, my diversionary tactic seems to have worked, stopping him from mulling over the past by rooting him firmly in the present.
We spend a couple hours out on Lake Huron, alternating periods of frantic paddling with long breaks to recover.
As much as I enjoy the burn of physical activity, I think those rests are my favorite.
Lying back and bobbing in the light waves sent our way by the ferries and other boats, watching the clouds roll across the sky…
it makes me feel isolated, but in a good way—like my problems can’t reach me out here.
Eventually, our rumbling stomachs convince us to call it a day. We’re starting a slower-paced paddle toward the rental dock, skimming along near the rocky shore, when Percy says out of nowhere, “My mom used to love kayaking.”
I glance over sharply, my stroke faltering so the paddle thunks against my kayak’s outer shell. Percy’s face is pensive, but he doesn’t look as upset as I’d feared. There’s sadness in his expression, sure, but his small smile seems genuine.
“She went out with you a lot?” I venture hesitantly.
“Almost every time.” He chuckles. “She’d come drag me away from my computer, insisting I needed some vitamin D so I wouldn’t be so pale.
Dad tagged along sometimes, but it was usually just the two of us.
We’d paddle around for hours, taking it slow and admiring the view.
And we’d talk. She’d tell me stories about her life, ask how I was doing… ”
He sucks in a breath, and tears sparkle on his cheeks.
His smile wavers, and with a few quick strokes, I bring my kayak over to his.
I try to make the landing soft but only half-succeed, the side of mine careening roughly against his.
I grab for the edge of his boat, hoping to stabilize, and almost succeed in tipping us both over.