Chapter 10 #2
My eyes widen, and I almost choke on the peanut butter clogging my throat for the second time in less than a week. Maybe I need to put less on my sandwiches. At least, my distress lightens the mood, Ash relaxing slightly as he pounds on my back while I cough.
I chug a drink of water and say, “That sounds rough.”
His eyes seem far away as he nods. “Yeah.” After a few seconds staring off into space, he blinks and returns his attention to his turkey sandwich.
I consider letting it go, but he kind of looks like he wants to talk about it, so I ask, “How was living with your grandparents?”
Another shrug as he chews. “Fine. They were my dad’s parents, and they came from money.” He snorts a laugh. “Pretty sure they’ve never packed a bag lunch in their lives.”
I gesture at his spread of food. “Hence the new experience.”
He nods. “My parents probably used to pack my lunches, but I was with the Ellingtons—my grandparents—so long, it’s hard to remember.”
He grimaces, crushing a chip between his fingers. I can tell there’s a hell of a lot more he’s not saying. It doesn’t take a genius to guess that something must’ve happened for his grandparents to ship him off to his aunt, especially after they’d had him for five years already.
But I don’t want to overstep, so instead, I say, “It must be hard, getting uprooted again. Having to start over for a second time.”
His head jerks up, and I tense, wondering if I’d crossed a line anyway. But his expression isn’t hostile as he studies me. Merely…intent. Like he’s fully here in this moment with me, completely focused on our conversation.
It’s easy to lose myself in his sharp green gaze, and I’m not sure how long passes before he finally breaks the connection, shifting to prop his back against the edge of the table and gaze at the towering oak.
“It’s not so bad. I didn’t really have many friends, so it’s not like I left a lot behind.”
“That sounds lonely.” I turn to face the same way as him, a tingle racing up my leg where it brushes against his.
He subtly shifts away, putting a couple inches between us. “I learned a long time ago that it’s easier not to get too attached to anything. Or anyone.”
Conversation lapses after that as we eat our lunches, lost in our respective thoughts. Ash’s words run on repeat through my head. No matter what he says, he’s not the loner he pretends to be. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have invited me over to see Onyx. Or to come out here and eat lunch with him.
Whether he wants to admit it or not, he clearly yearns for more connections than he has. And while I have my own set of friends, my own family, my own exceedingly busy schedule, I’d happily find time somewhere to be that for him…if he lets me.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I check it to find a text from Cat.
Cat: You can’t spend every lunch cooped up in the library!
Me: I’m not. I’m actually outside eating lunch with Ash today.
Cat starts and stops typing several times. When her message finally comes through, I read it and snort, fighting a faint blush I hope Ash doesn’t notice.
Cat: Wow. Already ditching your friends for this guy? Your obsessive crush must be getting serious.
Me: It’s not obsessive!
Me: Or a crush.
Me: He’s just a cool guy in need of a friend. That’s all.
Cat: Yeah, sure. Have fun with your not-crush!
Muffling a groan, I tuck my phone away. Thank God Ash had refused to come with me to Mr. Simon’s room. I can only imagine how much worse Cat would’ve been grilling him in person. Perhaps that particular meeting is best saved for a future point in time.
Far, far in the future.
I glance over to find Ash with his notebook out and pencil in hand, sketching away like he had that first day I’d run into him in the hall. I can’t really see his drawing from my current angle, and it seems invasive to peek without permission. No matter what Cat might think, I am not obsessive.
Instead, I take the opportunity to study Ash.
He really is handsome, especially when he lacks his trademark scowl.
The long, lean lines of him, with his pencil gripped in his elegant hand while the muscles in his arm flex and his bangs hang over his intelligent eyes, strike the perfect picture of an artist.
All right, so maybe I wasn’t entirely honest with Cat about the crush part.
Ash must sense my gaze on him because he looks up, some of his tension returning as he meets my eyes. “Sorry to zone out like that. Sometimes when I’m drawing, it’s like the rest of the world ceases to exist.”
Is that why he’d looked so peaceful?
The thought fills me with a profound sadness. Had losing his parents so young left him that closed off from the rest of the world?
“It’s cool,” I say. “I get like that too sometimes when I’m helping Dr. Jenkins with the animals.” I hesitate, but my curiosity gets the better of me, and I hold out my hand. “Can I see?”
I’d worried he might scowl or sneer at the request, but I hadn’t expected him to blush. I’m so used to seeing Ash the picture of confident indifference that it takes me a moment to register that he might actually be feeling shy.
Shrugging, he passes the sketchbook over.
It’s open to a sketch of the nearby oak tree. I’m not sure exactly what I’d expected, but I suck in a breath as I study the shadowed lines. “Ash, this is incredible!”
His blush deepens as he averts his eyes. “It’s okay for a first pass. I usually go more for artistic renditions than realistic depictions like this. I know the trunk is a little off, and I can’t quite get the shading on the upper branches right.”
I search the exquisite drawing, but no matter how hard I look, I can’t spot the imperfections he apparently sees. Maybe it’s because I don’t have an artistic bone in my body. Or maybe, as I’d already suspected, Ash is simply too hard on himself.
“If you say so. But I think you’ve got a keen eye. It’s like you captured the tree’s essence, you know?”
He takes back his sketchbook and studies the image again, some of the coiled tension leaking out of him. “Thanks,” he mutters, not meeting my eyes. “I guess when you spend a lot of time on your own, you get pretty good at observing the world around you.”
I can’t stand the faint hint of melancholy in his voice, so I bump my shoulder against his. His attention snaps back to me.
“Well, you’re not alone now,” I say.
“No. I guess I’m not.” He holds my gaze, and I’m pretty sure the heat I see building there isn’t only on my end. I’m suddenly reminded of how close we’re sitting. It would be so easy to lean forward and bridge the few inches between us, pressing my lips to—
“Hi, Ash!”
The shouted greeting jolts me out of my momentary insanity, and I jerk back. Ash blinks, his expression shuttering as we turn in unison to see Greta waving at us.
I chuckle as she vanishes around the side of the building, seeming unbothered Ash hadn’t waved back. “Looks like I’m not the only friend you’ve made here after all. I’m impressed.”
Ash grimaces. “She is not my friend! She just seems to have made it her personal mission in life to bother me.” He gives me a significant look. “Like a certain someone else I know.”
“Guess she got the same memo I did,” I reply with a smirk. Staring after Greta, my face grows serious. “Though, would it really be so bad if she was? I’ve known Greta since sixth grade, and she’s pretty nice. You should give her a chance.”
Distantly, I hear the obnoxious buzz of the bell signaling the end of lunch. Ash huffs and crumples up his lunch bag, tossing it in his backpack along with his sketchbook. “Whatever. So far as I’m concerned, I’ve already more than met my friend quota for the year.”
As if suddenly realizing what he’d said, his hand freezes. His gaze flicks to me for no more than a split second, but I can tell by the way his lips tighten that he caught my wide grin at his slip.
He quickly resumes packing up, hurrying to his feet. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”
Shoving away my own stuff, I rise and follow him toward the building.
With every step, I feel like I’m walking on Cloud Nine.
Ash can be as grumpy as he wants, but the signs are all there, and now I have a confession straight from his mouth.
Despite his best efforts to resist or push me away, Ash has officially become my friend.