Chapter 18
eighteen
Ash
A groan rips from my throat as my fingers trace the soft skin on Dylan’s back.
He shudders, arching into me, and I crash my lips against his, desperate to taste him.
Stubble scrapes against my cheek, but that only turns me on even more.
My tongue tangles with his as my hands continue their quest to map the hidden contours of his body, shifting lower and lower down his back to cup his surprisingly firm ass.
“Watch yourself, Ellington,” Dylan murmurs. Breaking our kiss, he buries his face in my neck. I can’t hold back another groan as his teeth nip lightly at my skin. “Don’t start something you’re not willing to finish.”
“Oh, I’m ready and willing to finish,” I pant, grinding my hardness against his. He moans into my neck, the sound sending heat careening through me.
My fingers slide down the sides of his ass and around his thighs, brushing against his bulge before they find the button on his jeans. Before I can do more than tug at it, I hear a door open on the floor below.
“Hi, Ash, I’m home!” Aunt Claudette calls. “Mrs. Haverty needed to reschedule, but I had the most heartwarming reading with Mr. Lawrence today.”
Fuck. Both Dylan and I freeze. I hesitate with my fingers still on the button of Dylan’s jeans for another few heartbeats. Then, I let out a frustrated groan and flop back onto my bed, staring at the ceiling.
“Or at least, I was,” I mutter. “Why does the universe have to be such a cock-block?”
Dylan chuckles, still a bit breathless. My bed creaks as he stands, and I glance at him just in time to see him surreptitiously adjusting himself. He notices me watching and grins.
“Cut the universe some slack. It’s your aunt’s erratic appointments that are the problem.”
“Seriously,” I sigh. “Would it kill her to actually set a schedule for her house calls and visitations and stick to it?”
A grin lights up Dylan’s face. As always, the sight sends a sheen of happiness prickling my skin. “No doubt predictability would ruin Madame Stellestra’s mystique.”
I snort and shake my head, the motion sending black bangs falling over my eyes. I swipe them absently out of the way. “What about your place?”
“Uh uh, no way. Not after what happened last time I brought you over. Besides, Patrick and Tommy are even worse than your aunt. If soccer practice gets cancelled or Tommy comes home early and finds us…”
He shudders, worry creasing his brow. I’m on my feet in an instant, wrapping him in my arms. “Hey, it’s all right. If that prick gives you any trouble, he’ll have me to answer to.”
The tension eases out of Dylan as he returns the embrace. “My knight in shining armor,” he teases. “Though for the record, I don’t support resorting to violence.”
“That’s okay,” I reply, kissing his brow. “Because I do.”
His answering sigh makes me grin, though my good humor fades at his next words. “I just wish we could do more than sneak stolen kisses. Maybe if I borrowed my mom’s car or we rushed here right after school one day—”
“Stop,” I say, swatting him lightly on the arm. “These past few weeks have been the best of my life. The physical stuff’s nice, but it’s not as important to me as spending time with you.”
I mean every word. For all I’d worried about anyone learning my secret, it’s been amazing having someone to confide in. So long as I keep my power safely suppressed, maybe letting someone else in isn’t the end of the world after all.
Dylan sucks in a breath when I lean in and nip his earlobe. “Besides,” I murmur, “I’d rather wait until we can properly appreciate our first time instead of sneaking a quickie in the back of your mom’s car. We’ve still got plenty of time before graduation to enjoy ourselves.”
Dylan suddenly stiffens in my arms.
I frown, pulling back just far enough to meet his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” His hazel eyes flick away, and he lets out a strained chuckle. “Just surprised at how much of a secret romantic you are, that’s all.”
He’s lying—that much is obvious. The real question is why.
I settle down on the edge of my bed, gesturing for Dylan to join me. He does, gripping my hand and plastering on a smile despite the tension still radiating through him.
“So,” he says cheerfully, “have you done tomorrow’s Econ homework yet? I could use some help wrapping my brain around price-level determination.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Cut the bullshit, Dylan. There’s only room in this relationship for one emotionally stunted partner. Now, spill.”
His grin wavers around the edges. He manages to hold it another handful of moments before it collapses in on itself, his back slumping as he releases a pent-up sigh.
“It’s not that big of a deal. I was just thinking about the future. About graduation in a few months…and everything that entails.”
His downcast eyes flick to me and then quickly away, and realization strikes.
“Ah.” I reach over, resting my free hand on top of our linked ones, lightly tracing his skin while I choose my words with care.
“I’ve spent the last five years dreaming of the day I can set off on my own. I…I can’t promise anything.”
My stomach twists at Dylan’s poorly suppressed wince. “I know. And I wouldn’t ask you to change your plans—not for me. What will you do once you graduate?”
The question catches me off-guard. “I’m not sure,” I admit. “Until now, the future’s always been an amorphous concept. I’d finish high school, leave home, and be free. But when I try to actually picture it, I come up blank.”
The thought unnerves me. I’d never been happy with the Ellingtons, so it had been easy to imagine leaving them behind and never looking back, even if I didn’t know what else my future might hold.
But after only a handful of months, I already can’t stand the idea of losing Dylan.
Just the thought of it squeezes my chest, making it difficult to breathe.
Dylan gestures at the wall, snapping me back to the present. I follow his gaze to my haphazard arrangement of sketches. “You should be an artist. Take some classes or something. The world needs to know how talented you are.”
The praise stirs something in me close to pride. The unfamiliar feeling leaves me mildly uncomfortable, and I force a shrug. “Maybe.”
A plaintive mew comes from the doorway, and I look over to see Onyx scampering into my room.
Her leg has mostly healed by now, along with her other injuries save her ear.
With her clean fur and a few extra pounds from consistent food, she looks like the healthy, happy kitten she always should’ve been.
“Aw, there’s my little girl,” Dylan coos. He reaches down, letting Onyx sniff his hand before she rubs her head against it, purring.
Gripping her gently, he lifts her up and cradles her in his arms. Had I tried such a maneuver, she’d have batted at me and meowed to be let down, but with Dylan, her purring only intensifies.
Watching the two of them together, I can’t hold back a small grin. “What about you?” I ask. “How are your college applications going?”
Dylan hesitates, his hand stilling on Onyx until she impatiently nudges him back into action. He stares down at the small black cat instead of meeting my eyes. “I haven’t worked on any.”
A frown tugs at my lips. “But I thought you really wanted to get into a good pre-vet program. A lot of places weigh admissions heavily toward early applications. You really shouldn’t wait too long to start.
” A flash of guilt roils my gut. “If this is because we’ve been spending so much time together—”
“No!” He looks up sharply at me, his eyes unreadable. “It’s not that. It’s…” I see the muscles in his jaw tighten as he forces the words out. “I don’t think I’m going to go to college next year.”
“What?” I stare at him in disbelief. “Why the hell not? You’re way too smart and hardworking not to get in. Any university would be lucky to have you.”
A faint blush colors his cheeks. “It’s not my grades or extracurriculars I’m worried about. College is just so expensive. Even if I’m lucky enough to get a scholarship, it almost certainly won’t be a full ride.”
I think back over other discussions we’ve had, my frown deepening. “Don’t you have a college fund?”
“Well…yeah.” He clutches at Onyx as if to steady himself, scritching her head behind her ears.
“But Mom needs that money right now more than I do. I can’t just run off and leave her and Patrick high and dry like that.
If I delay college for a couple years, I can find work somewhere nearby and help with things until Patrick’s older. It’s the right thing to do.”
“What about your dad and child support? Can’t he help out?”
Dylan barks a humorless laugh. “I guess his dreams of striking it big never quite panned out. You can’t send money you don’t have.”
I’m quiet for a moment while I sort through my thoughts.
“Maybe this is just the selfishness in me speaking, but you shouldn’t sacrifice your future without considering all the possibilities first. Helping others is all well and good, but sometimes, you have to do what’s best for you. You can’t be afraid to move forward.”
Onyx chooses that moment to hop down from Dylan’s lap, padding across the room to bat at a pencil that had fallen on the floor. Dylan shifts to face me, raising an eyebrow. “I could say the same thing about you.”
The instant I realize what he means, my expression shifts to a scowl. “We’ve been over this, and we agreed that using my power is too dangerous.”
“No, you agreed it was too dangerous. I still think you should learn more about it.” He glances at my desk and the manila folder that’s been resting on top of it the past couple weeks. “Did you ever read through that research I gave you?”
“Some,” I hedge, which is technically true. I had leafed through a few pages one night before giving up and setting it aside. What’s the point of understanding something I never intend to use?