Chapter Ten #2
His all-male smile seemed to reach across the distance of the room and caress her. Janet basked in the warmth of its glow.
“Thank you,” he offered simply.
She took the plain envelope and turned to leave.
“On your way out would you ask Christy to come into my office? I’d like to go over some things with her.”
Her hands coiled at her sides, Janet walked out of his office, and out of his life.
Christy gave her a funny look and Janet realized that she probably looked ashen. Two years of her life were over, gone.
“Janet, are you okay?”
She shook her head as if to snap herself out of the self-imposed trance. “Sure.” She paused before adding, “Mr. Edwards would
like to see you.”
Christy automatically reached for her pencil and pad and knocked politely before stepping into the other room. Janet was grateful for these last minutes alone. This room was filled with memories, and she wanted a couple of minutes to privately make her farewells.
Her fingertips ran lightly over the top of the Simplex. A wealth of recent reminiscences came to mind. A smile toyed at her
mouth. How silly she had been to allow this machine to frighten her so. The typewriter, her trusted friend, now was stationed
in a corner. Janet only used it to type envelopes these days.
Gail arrived a few minutes later and stuck her head in the door. “Are you ready?”
Janet looked up, surprised at the intrusion. “Yes, I think so.” She took her coat down and after one final sweeping look at
the room turned and left without a backward glance.
Several friends stopped to wish her well on her way to the elevator. By the time they arrived at the parking lot, tears had
welled in her eyes.
“Regrets?” Gail glanced at her as they got into the car and turned the ignition key.
“Lots,” Janet admitted truthfully. “When I left before, I didn’t have time to think about all the friends I was going to miss,
or the consequences of my actions. Now that the time has finally come for me to leave, I can’t help asking myself if I’m really
doing the right thing.”
“Are you?” Gail’s voice was heavy with concern.
“Yes.” The lone word was expelled with a sudden rush of pain. “Yes,” she repeated, “I’m sure.”
Joel sat between Janet and her mother during the church service Sunday morning. Restlessly he twisted and turned, crossed, then uncrossed his legs. Loudly he dropped the hymnal. Finally Janet took the book out of his hands.
“What’s the matter with you today?” she whispered irritably. “You’re acting like you’ve got ants in your pants.”
Joel giggled. “I’m looking for Mr. Reese.”
A cold numbness spread over her and she forced herself to smile. “I doubt that he’ll be coming back. Now pay attention.”
Joel cast her an accusing glare. “No, he’s coming. He told me he was coming. If he doesn’t, it’s your fault.”
Her fault. Janet sighed as her brother’s words seemed to touch off a swarm of guilty feelings. For years Janet had worried
about her Christian witness. She wasn’t like her father; she was uncomfortable standing before a group or teaching. She worried
that she would never effectively share her faith as she wanted. Shortly after she had made a complete commitment to Christ,
her father had explained that not every Christian could be a preacher. But every Christian was a witness. Now she must be
satisfied that her faith had been her witness to Reese. Somehow it seemed so inadequate.
As the congregation stood to sing the closing hymn, Joel stood on the pew and turned around to look out over the people. With
a swift jerk, Leonora Montgomery brought him down.
“He’s here,” he informed Janet with a satisfied smirk. “I told you he would be.” Content now, Joel opened the hymnal and began
singing loudly.
Reese here? At church? Surely Joel was mistaken. If she was cold and numb before, now she felt like a statue, rooted to one
spot. Her father offered the final blessing and ended the service and still Janet stood immobile, unable to turn around.
“Aren’t you going to say hello?” Joel chastised, pulling at her coat sleeve.
“Another time,” she said in a tortured whisper.
She moved out of the pew and down the long aisle in a reflex movement.
Purposely she delayed leaving the church as long as possible, making excuses to chat with old friends and acquaintances.
When the church was empty, she moved the hymnals to the end of the pews in the back rows.
The job was usually done by the ushers after the evening service, but there were seldom enough people to fill the church Sunday evenings.
“Hello, Janet.”
Her heart skipped a beat. As if in slow motion, she finished bringing the last red hymnal to the end of the pew before looking
up.
“Hello, Reese.” She clenched her Bible to her breast with both hands.
“Could we talk a minute?”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Us.” He chuckled. “And before you can say it, yes, there is an us.”
Janet took a step backward and Reese advanced into the pew. He was so close, she could smell the musk aftershave he wore,
so close she could read something in his eyes she had never before witnessed.
The back of her legs were pressing into the hard wooden seat and because it was impossible to go farther, Janet sat down.
Reese moved to sit beside her and reached for her hand. “I find it fitting that we should have this discussion in church,”
he said, concentrating his eyes on her hands. He hesitated before continuing. “I love you, Janet.”
“No.” The word was sharp and filled with disbelief. Why was Reese doing this? Did he want to hurt her even more? She yanked
her hands free and rushed into the foyer.
Reese followed, stopping her just before she reached the huge double-door entry. “I’m not going to let you run away.”
Her face was flushed and it felt like her whole body was trembling. Tears blurred her eyes as she studied the worn rust-colored
carpeting.
“Look at me,” he demanded, a finger lifting her chin so that their eyes could meet. “I expected some kind of reaction when
I said I loved you, but not tears.”
“Don’t lie to me,” she snapped angrily. “How can you say you love me?”
A smile threatened to crack the hard line of his mouth. “If you want the truth, it wasn’t that easy. I should have told you
how I felt months ago.” He paused and pushed a hand through his dark brown hair. “If I hadn’t been so blind, I would have
recognized what was happening between us.”
“How can you claim to love me when you think I’m a hypocrite?”
“A hypocrite?” He hurled the word back at her disbelievingly. “You’re the most genuine person I’ve ever met.”
Janet whirled around and started out the door. She wasn’t going to listen to his lies, not when she had seen the evidence
of his true feelings with her own eyes.
“Janet.” He reached the door before she did, blocking her path.
“Don’t lie to me, Reese Edwards. I found the caricature. I know exactly what you think of me.”
“You saw?” Janet could feel the tension flow out of him. “My love, if you’d only asked me at the time I would have explained
why I drew you as I did. I picture you as an angel God has sent into my life to show me His love. Yet at the same time, a
devil because you tempt me more than any woman.”
“Don’t confuse physical desire with love.” She remained defensive because it was impossible to believe what he was saying.
“My dear Janet, after the way I’ve lived my life, believe me, I know the difference. What I feel for you is genuine.”
Still unsure and afraid, Janet studied his face, every groove, every line, fearing what she would find. Instead she read confirmation
in the shining light of his eyes.
“Oh, Reese,” she whispered, and pressed a hand to her forehead. “I’ve loved you so long.”
Instantly she was drawn into his arms as he buried his face in her hair. His arms surrounded her, crushing her close. “I thought
I’d lost you,” he breathed in deeply. “For a horrible minute I feared it might be too late.” Tenderly he kissed the top of
her head and relaxed his hold. “Let’s sit down, there’s so much to explain.”
A single pew ran the length of the foyer. With a hand at her waist, Reese led her to the seat.
Leaning forward, elbows on his knees, Reese rubbed his face. “I’m not exactly sure where to begin.”
Janet placed a comforting arm over his back. “It’s not necessary, there’s no need for you to tell me anything.”
The look he gave her told Janet that if they hadn’t been in a church he would have reached over and greedily kissed her. “It’s
necessary, at least it is for me.”
Knowingly Janet nodded.