59. Chapter 59
Chapter 59
Cain
I t takes me a moment to shake off the anger and realize I’ve gotten exactly what I wanted. Contently, I start following her out of the castle.
After all, it was imperative for this to work. I’ve already tried messing with the collar magic, but it’s too strong and tricky even for me. With that option out the window…
I have my Mind Magic barriers in place at all times, and I still have my strength and stealth, but all my powers are still being blocked, every second of every day.
I’ve delayed coming to the conclusion as long as I could, but if I want to escape, my only option is to figure out the person I’m literally tied to.
As soon as she leads me out of the castle, she shifts and turns around to stare at me. It takes me a second to tear my eyes away from her, but as soon as I do, I get into the position and break into a sprint, heading straight for the Lycan Forest.
I hear her follow.
I try to focus on letting off steam for the moment, but as always, her presence is making it impossible, so I go back to thinking about the mission.
So far, limiting myself to observing her has only resulted in more confusion.
I thought she’d be the embodiment of laziness, and she never stops working, unless that’s yet another ruse. I thought she’d be manipulating others into doing her bidding as well, and she’s going out of her way to inspire them instead, unless that’s just a form of manipulation. I thought there wouldn’t be anything there to figure out, and she’s contradictory as hell.
There is only one thing about her that makes sense to me — the way she treats me.
Always defending me, never getting judgmental, being willing to agree to anything to make me talk, in general, not just about the things she wants to know… After all, it’s stopping me from fulfilling my destiny that’s her end goal, and to do that, she needs to get me to trust her.
Then again, I thought she’d be actively trying to seduce me, and all she ever does is try to rope me into a conversation.
So yes, no matter how much I don’t want to, I need to get closer to her.
As soon as we get deeper into the forest, I slow to a stop.
I take a moment to brace myself then look over my shoulder, seeing her shift back.
I honestly thought she’d take this opportunity to try to talk to me again, but she just remains standing there, silently observing me.
My lips tug into a smile. Let her.
Too fast for her to react, I dart around her, stopping some distance behind her back. She inhales sharply, but when she turns around, the expression on her face is of amused confusion.
The plan is to find a weakness, starting by testing out whether she really is as unafraid as she wants to make herself seem.
But I need to be extremely careful because of that magic of hers. Even now that I’m putting all my focus into blocking the image of her reaching my consciousness, there’s the scent that’s driving me crazy.
I dart around her again, stopping a little closer than last time and starting to stalk over to her without making a sound.
This time, she cranes her neck a little, just enough for me to see her frown, but she doesn’t move.
I keep stalking, forcing my eyes to stay fixed on her profile, but as if of their own volition, they start dropping lower and lower and lower, tracing the curves of her neck, shoulder, waist...
My heart pounding, I manage to stop them just before they reach her ass. Gritting my teeth for showing such weakness, I force them to snap back up to her face and keep stalking.
I come close enough to almost touch her, finding that her breathing is still unsteady.
Just as my lips curl into a smile, she blows out a low chuckle.
I stop, my hands balling into fists. Taking a step closer, I let out a low snarl.
But the next thing I know, she’s turning around, looking up and stepping straight into me, making me have to jump back so as to avoid touching her.
I quickly regain my footing and put enough distance between us, but now she’s standing there with her arms folded and her head tilted, smiling at me.
It’s something I’ve learned at that meeting of theirs. I can’t explain it, but it’s true. Everything about her seems to be endlessly dangerous — her scent, her voice, her curves, the way she moves, the way she looks at me… but it’s that wide, playful smile that poses the most immediate threat to me. Whenever it’s that smile she’s giving me, I feel as if I’m on the verge of stepping off a cliff and being happy to be falling to my own death.
“Here’s a suggestion, Hot Stuff,” she snaps me out of it. “Stop trying to scare me and just tell me why we’re really here.”
I just look at her for a second then let out a scoff. “I wanted to go for a run.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Fine,” she purrs at me. That’s another thing she does that I absolutely hate. “Let’s keep playing your twisted little game. After all, I bet you’re not even willing to admit it to yourself — what it’s really about.”
Her words remind me of my mission. She seems to be truly unafraid of me, but there are still things I can learn about her that could be of use to me.
For one, what she truly believes in. She acts as if she has principles, but there must be a rotten core underneath.
“You know what I’d like to know?” I ask.
She quirks an eyebrow at me. “What?”
“How hard is it for you to pretend to believe in all those things you seem to be preaching?”
“What things?”
“Kindness, integrity, love ,” I finish on a mocking tone.
She squints at me. “You’re making it sound as if those are all made-up things.”
“In a way, they are. So you’re trying to tell me you truly believe in them?”
“I do, but I’ll take a wild guess and say you don’t.”
“The only thing the existence of which can’t be denied is pain. Everything else is merely a construct built to deal with it.”
Her head tilted, she just looks at me for a second. “Yes, I think I know a thing or two about pain, but just as there’s no night without day, there’s no pain without the absence of pain.”
I scoff. “What, happiness ?”
“Yes.”
“And what would that be?”
She shrugs. “Well, the longer I live, the more I think it basically always comes down to forging connections with others.”
Ah. If this is something she truly believes, then it’s a weakness. “Connections?” I ask. “What, with those people back in the castle?”
“Not those people, my people. Because that’s what they are. We have our disagreements, but there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them and nothing they wouldn’t do for me .”
She takes a step closer, giving me a smile that for some reason seems sad. I take a step back. “Is there no one you call your own? Is that why you’re finding the very concept so incredulous?”
The words sting, but I shrug them off. I smirk. “You know the funny thing about connection?”
“Please do tell.”
I take a step closer. “There are so many perspectives from which its existence can be outright denied. You could even argue it could be denied from every single perspective there is.”
“Really?” she drawls.
“Yes. There’s the perspective of basic physics to start,” I say as I walk around her. “For example, did you know that when you touch something, you only think you’ve touched it?” My eyes dart to her hair. “No matter how close you get, there will always remain an empty space — however infinitesimally small — between the thing that is you and the thing that you’re touching.”
My fingers itch to touch her hair so I turn around, fixing my eyes on the blackness between the trees around us. “Then there’s the perspective of the human race as a whole. In a way, history has been all about trying to bridge the countless gaps separating individual groups, but no matter how much time passes, how much knowledge we accumulate or how much money we throw at the problem, everything we ever attempt… fails.”
I turn back around, finding her looking at me with interest in her eyes. I get a little closer, pointing at her head. “And then, then there’s the perspective of the individual mind. There’s the irrefutable fact that — even with Mind Magic — you can never really know anyone. Do you know why?”
“Why?”
“Because you can’t even know yourself. You can never know with certainty what you’d do in a situation until you’ve found yourself in it. So saying there’s nothing your people wouldn’t do for you only means there hasn’t yet arisen a situation that would make them betray you. Doesn’t mean there isn’t one that would. Which, in turn, means you can never fully trust them.”
She raises her eyebrows at me. “Ah.” She nods softly. “You believe my way of thinking comes from a place of naivete.”
“And of course, you don’t, do you?” I ask mockingly.
She clicks her tongue. “Connection with other human beings, it’s not optional , Cain. We’re built to need it. And yes, it requires trust that can be betrayed at any given point. The people who choose to give it, sure, sometimes they do it simply because they’re too naive not to. But sometimes they do it simply because they’re brave enough.”
I blow out a laugh. “Let me guess. You’re among the latter. What a flattering image of yourself you seem to have.”
“Even if I did,” she challenges softly, “why would that bother you?”
“Bother me?” I echo. Then I find myself standing very close to her without recalling getting there, my fists clenching. “It doesn’t bother me at all. The only reason I’m even talking to you is because you put a collar on me.”
Her eyes narrow. “Is that right?” she drawls.
Then she gives me that smile, my eyes fix on her mouth, and all of a sudden, a very dangerous idea is popping into my head.
The vampire’s kiss.
I’d need to keep my composure, but if I gave those lips just one little bite, I’d enter her mind, expose any and all weaknesses that would otherwise remain hidden, and use them all to my advantage.
Before I know it, I’m taking her by the waist and crushing my mouth to hers. She freezes, but she doesn’t resist me. Of course she doesn’t. She’s probably thinking she’s won.
But I’m putting all my focus into preventing any of it from getting to me — her scent, the curve of her waist under my hand, the feel of her lips…
Just as I’m about to bite her, she wraps her arms around my shoulders and leans into me, parting her lips and making mine part of their own volition.
And the moment her tongue touches mine, my control slips, I let all the sensations overwhelm me all at once, until I’m nothing but a pounding heart in desperate need for more.
The next thing I know, instead of me entering her mind, she’s entering mine .
I feel her reaction to what she sees, I feel it in my bones. And it’s the worst one I could’ve gotten — pity.
Anger flooding me, I push her out of my mind, break the kiss and tear myself away from her.
“No, wait,” she calls out when I start marching out of the forest.
It’s only once we’re in front of the castle that she catches up.
“Ah of course,” I drawl, fighting to keep my composure, “you want what you’re owed.”
She throws me an incredulous look. “No, you didn’t even need to bargain for this, for crying out loud. I would’ve given it to you anyway. After all this time, is it really so hard for you to believe that I genuinely care about you, Cain?”
“Yeah right,” I spit out, having a harder time looking at her with each second that passes by. “Those symbols you’re trying to translate, they’re not logograms, they’re syllabic signs. There, now I’ve kept my word and I owe nothing to you, witch .”
The Elevator appears, I turn my back to her and I jump in.