Chapter 9 The taste of earth and damnation
The taste of earth and damnation
ZARA
My body aches in places I didn’t know could hurt, and my face should be a map of bruises, cuts, and humiliation.
The air I breathe is heavy, laden with the mingling scents of sweat, blood, and something darker that my mind refuses to name.
Every muscle protests as I move myself off the rock, one arm pressed against it for support.
Kade watches me from across the cave. He isn’t calm, but he isn’t tense either.
He’s caught in the heady aftermath of whatever the hell just happened between us, and I don’t like knowing he’s feeling the same as I am.
His dark eyes still track me like he’s a predator, and I hate the way they pin me in place, even though he isn’t touching me.
I glare at him as I pull my trousers back up and the asshole doesn’t have the decency to look away.
He smirks, that same infuriating, self-satisfied expression that makes my blood boil.
His expression is a sharp contrast to the knot of confusion and shame twisting inside me.
My body is buzzing with the warmth of my climax and I hate that I don’t know where my feelings end and the ebon chain’s magic begins.
Every breath I take is a betrayal, every lingering ache a reminder of how far I’ve fallen.
“I’d tell you that you look better, but I’d be lying,” Kade says, his voice a low drawl that drips with mockery. “You were a mess before, Zara. You’re a disgrace now.”
“Go to hell,” I snap, my voice hoarse.
He chuckles, the sound echoing off the cave walls like a taunt. “Darling, we’re already there.”
My fingers tremble as I push my hair out of my face, the strands damp with sweat and sticking to my skin.
I refuse to let him see how shaken I am, even though his gaze rakes over me, taking in every detail.
His gaze lingers over my breasts and freezes at my hips, and I shudder, unsure if he’s staring at them or what he remembers lies between my legs.
The bond between us hums faintly, a sickening reminder of what we’ve just done.
It’s not a normal connection; it’s alive, pulsing with an energy that feels foreign and intimate all at once.
I feel him in my chest, in the back of my mind, like a ghost whispering just out of earshot.
I writhe against it and he twists whatever connection we have, hurting himself as much as he hurts me in the process.
“Stop staring at me,” I spit, my voice sharper than I intended.
Kade shrugs, unbothered. “Can’t help it. You’re fascinating when you’re pissed off.”
I grab a rock from the ground and hurl it at him.
He sidesteps it easily, his smirk widening.
The warlock crosses his arms and his forearms tense, drawing my attention.
They’re massive and the ink staining them is impressive, an almost dazzling display of intricate patterns that display his power and prowess.
“Temper, temper,” he chides, and I hate the way his voice sends a shiver down my spine.
I don’t know what I’m most furious about.
I let this happen and I hate myself for it.
I hate myself for giving in and letting him fuck me, for putting up barely any resistance at all.
Worse, I hate that my body still feels the echoes of his touch and even more disgustingly, some traitorous part of me is desperate to feel it again.
Kade is a monster, but he’s a great fuck.
I swallow, disgusted with myself because the man who murdered my sisters is the best fuck of my life.
I’ve known many men and not one of them came close to giving me the pleasure I’ve just experienced.
He’s gifted and experienced, and the combination of the two is a heady mixture that my body’s craving.
I want him and I hate him. I hate myself.
I hate this damn blood weave that ties us together and forces me to endure every moment of his smug satisfaction.
“You love my cock.”
My eyes narrow. “About as much as you love my cunt.”
“Careful, sweetheart,” he says, his boots crunching on the cave floor as he steps closer. “You’ve got more than one hole, darling, and I’m not averse to using them.” His eyes light as I swallow. “All of them. Repeatedly.”
My legs tremble and I lean back on the rock, hoping he doesn’t notice my fear. Or my excitement. My head’s a mess and my body wants what it can’t have, and I don’t know if it truly wants this or if it’s being compelled by whatever bond ties us together.
All I know is that this is madness, and I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t be, not with him here. Not when he’s the cause of all this misery.
“We should leave soon,” he says, as if we’re discussing the weather. “This place reeks of desperation.”
“Then get out,” I snap.
He arches an eyebrow, his lips curling into a mockery of a smile. “You think I’m leaving without you?”
“I think you should.”
His eyebrows drop and an expression I can’t place flickers over his face. It could be annoyance but it seems softer, and it’s gone in a heartbeat and I sigh, certain I’ll never pin it down.
“You’re not going anywhere, Zara. Not without me.”
“I don’t need you.”
Kade closes the distance between us in two strides, his presence overwhelming as he looms over me. “You need me. I need you. We can’t escape each other. Not anymore.”
The bond hums louder, a tangible force crackling between us.
I shudder as the heat of its displeasure washes over my skin and I shake my head, pleading with it not to bring us together.
I’m not ready and I don’t want it, and I need to figure out what the hell I’m going to do before I let that warlock near me again.
The cave holds its breath, waiting to see what will happen next as my heart hammers against my chest and I pray for a reprieve. For salvation. For anything other than more time with Kade.
I look down and away, crossing my arms as if they might protect me from his gaze.
My tears begin to well and their sting pricks the corners of my eyes, and I refuse to let him see them.
My hands shake and I hide them, trying to shield myself from his oppressive all-seeing and all-knowing stare.
My hair falls over my face and I sigh, trying to focus on anything other than the man staring at me like I’m trash now he’s fucked me.
Kade sighs and I stiffen.
“Let’s get you cleaned up.”
“Why bother?” I hiss under my breath.
His hand grabs my elbow, and it isn’t kind. It isn’t entirely harsh either. I turn away and his grip tightens, a small pang of pain shooting up my arm.
“I don’t like it when my things are dirty, Zara.” Kade sighs again and I can’t bear to look at him. “You’ll feel better when you’re clean and as much as I hate you, I hate seeing you like this more.”
My head snaps up and his jaw ticks.
“Don’t think I’m doing this for you,” Kade snarls. “The blood weave means I feel what you do. At least what it wants me to feel to bring us closer together and whatever this feeling is, it’s disgusting. You’ll be better after you’ve washed and I won’t feel so shit. Come on, let’s go.”
He yanks me toward him, and his hand slips to my wrist. I keep my head down, staring at the way his hand dwarfs mine as it curls around my arm. There’s nothing subtle or soft about Kade, and he pulls me behind him, dragging me out of the cave.
It’s almost dawn and the final chill of the night catches me as we emerge into the devastated landscape.
Everything’s burned to a crisp and there’s no life here.
There’s no hope here either, and whatever magic tore through this forest took my future with it when it bound me to the monster leading me through the dead and broken trees.
The cold bites at my skin as we weave through the charred remains of the forest. The silence is oppressive, and its presence makes me aware of every crunch of ash and twig beneath my feet.
Our feet. Kade marches ahead of me, his grip firm but not bruising, his other hand flexing and clenching like he’s itching to burn yet another thing to the ground.
The subtle pulse of our bond hums between us like a second heartbeat.
I keep my head down, staring at the flicker of my pulse point, reminding me of the ebon chain that links us.
It may as well be a physical chain at this point, and its thrum makes me ache with the sorrow of everything I’ve lost. My autonomy’s gone.
My future’s been taken. I’ve even lost my soul to the devil, and worse of all, I’ve lost my choices.
The air thickens with the scent of water, and I hear the faint trickle of a stream. Kade stops abruptly, and I stumble into his back before catching myself.
“Here,” he says gruffly, releasing me and motioning to the narrow stream cutting through the ash and charred earth. “Clean up. Do something about the blood on you before I have to keep feeling it.”
I don’t argue.
I kneel by the stream, dipping my hands into the icy water and scrubbing furiously at my skin.
The blood and grime swirl away, but no matter how hard I scrub, the memory of his hands on me won’t wash off.
The bond burns through me like a brand and I gasp, staring at my reflection as I focus on it instead of the man standing behind me.
He’s standing a few paces away, and I catch his reflection in the water.
His arms are crossed and he’s watching me with an unreadable expression, his dark eyes containing more emotion than I thought him capable of.
There’s regret and hunger, pain and longing, need and want, and maybe even sadness too.
“You’ll need some privacy,” he growls.
His back turns and he steps away, giving me some distance so I can wash away what we’ve done, what I allowed him to do—and I know this is my chance.
I don’t think. I run.
My feet slip on the slick stones as I bolt away from the stream, weaving through the skeletal trees as fast as my aching legs will carry me. The adrenaline surges, pushing me forward despite the protests of my tired body.
I don’t feel him behind me. I don’t hear him behind me.
There’s no magic pulling at me or anything exploding in front or around me.
But I don’t dare to look back. All I can think about is freedom; all I know is the sense of hope flooding through me.
All I want is to put as much distance between me and Kade as possible, so I sprint harder, pushing myself to run even faster.
A sharp tug pulls at my chest. I draw a stuttered breath as a hook lodges deep inside me, yanking me back with invisible chains. I gasp, stumbling but refusing to stop. I run, but the further I go, the harder it pulls and that hook sinks even deeper, making the pain unbearable.
My knees give out as the agony cripples me and I collapse onto the forest floor. I clutch my chest as the bond sears through me like fire. My lungs fight for air and I give up trying to hide my tears, letting them flow as freely as the water running in the stream.
“No,” I choke out. “No, no, no, no, no.”
The ebon chain is punishing me for daring to run, each wave of pain more intense than the last. My vision blurs and I claw at the ground, trying to pull myself forward despite the agony tearing through me.
The world tilts and I feel him before I hear him.
“That was stupid,” Kade says, his voice cold and cutting. His hand grabs the back of my collar and he hauls me into the air. “Did you really think you could run from me? Did you think a weave formed with my blood would be breakable?”
He spins me around before he plants me on the ground. His hands clench into fists, his jaw is tight and the energy radiating off him makes the air crackle with tension.
“I had to try.”
My body trembles from the aftershocks of the ebon bond’s punishment and from the furious stare he’s bringing to bear on me. His lips curl into a humorless smile and there’s no amusement in his smile. Kade is livid and I’m unsure if it’s his anger pouring into our connection or the other way around.
“You’re not going anywhere, Zara,” he growls, his tone low and dangerous. “Not unless I let you. We’re stuck like this and it’s all your fault. Get used to it. Get used to me. Get used to meeting my demands.”
“I hate you,” I whisper, the words trembling but true.
“I hate you too,” he replies, stepping closer until he looms over me. “It doesn’t change a damn thing. Now kiss me and pray it’s enough to satisfy the bond.”
I arch my eyebrow as he lowers his head. “What if it’s not?”
“Then I’ll be forced to fuck you again.”
I roll my eyes and plant a quick kiss on his lips, disgusted with the taste of earth and damnation lingering there.
Kade growls and grabs my head, pulling me into him as he kisses me wildly, demanding I submit to his dominance and let him claim my mouth.
He’s too powerful to withstand, and I moan into his mouth, letting him have his way as our tongues play with each other and my skin crawls in discomfort.
“Better,” he rasps, panting as he breaks our kiss.
“Let’s get you clean. This time you’ll strip.
This time, I won’t take my eyes off you for a single goddamn second.
This time, you’ll behave and when we’re done, we’ll go back to that cave and if you’re a very good girl, I’ll let you curl up against me and get some sleep. ”
“I’d rather die than sleep on you.”
“You said that about fucking me and look how that turned out,” Kade says, pulling me behind him again.
“You’re going to wash and get some sleep, and then we’ll figure this out.
Try to escape again, and you’ll be dealing with more than the blood weave’s wrath.
I’ll be punishing you myself, and I assure you, I’ll do far worse than anything that bloody bond could do to you. ”