Chapter 32
The simplest truth
KADE
My respect for Zara is growing with every passing day, and with every time she uses her magic. She didn’t just withstand Malric. She pushed back. In fact, she overpowered him. The storm she unleashed was raw and untamed, and I’ve only seen that kind of magic once.
When she let it loose in the forest.
It threatened to consume everything in its path and, for a moment, I almost lost myself in the display of her power.
I want her more and more, and it’s killing me that she doesn’t want me in the same way. I don’t like the emotion rippling through me. It’s disgusting. It’s like pining. It’s like despair. It’s soft and pathetic and I am better than this.
And then I remember what Malric said, his warning echoing through my mind. She’s leeching my magic, and it won’t be long until I have nothing left.
My tutor’s words weighed heavily on me as I watched her collapse, her body crumpling to the floor like a broken doll.
I was torn between admiration for her strength and the fear he was right.
Her magic is more potent than when she released it in the woods, and that’s because it wasn’t just her power at play—it was mine, too.
She’s feeding on it, draining me in ways I can’t understand. And that, in turn, makes me wonder if I’m already too far gone to pull back.
I wasn’t sure if I should keep her close or keep my distance, but in the end, I decided I couldn’t leave her with Malric. I carried her back to my suite, and I’ve stood watch over her for hours, staring at the rise and fall of her chest, the quiet rhythm that signifies she’s still here.
Zara’s still breathing.
She’s still mine.
But something in the pit of my stomach twists as I remember what Malric warned me.
If I let this continue, if I let her feed off me, I might not even have enough magic left to save her when she needs me most. I could become as hollow as she fears she’s destined to be.
She could render me useless and I cannot allow it.
I should feel anger, betrayal even, but I don’t. I’m too captivated by her resilience, by the sheer force of will she demonstrated. It’s hard not to respect her for withstanding the darkness inside her, but harder still to ignore the gnawing fear that the storm she’s creating might destroy us both.
My hand slides up her back and it’s the first time I’ve touched her since I laid her down in my bed. She moans softly and I wonder if I should have stopped her from trying to break the blood weave. Zara endured an agony few can withstand and she did it because I didn’t stop her.
I could have.
I should have.
But I didn’t want to, and the blood weave did not try to stop it. Maybe it wanted me to know exactly what she’s made of, and now I do, I can't help but wonder if it was wise to find that out.
Where my darkness rules, hers commands and it’s a force that keeps me tethered to something, or someone, beyond myself. I’m more with her than without her, and yet I cannot escape the truth of Malric’s warning. Zara’s a powerful ally, but her magic and its connection to mine is a dangerous game.
One I do not know how to play.
She moans as I stroke her back and its sound is a low, vulnerable thing that stirs the darkness inside me.
Her body reacts to my touch and her soft, trembling breaths make my skin warm as my fingers skate over her.
It makes me wonder if I’ll never fully understand the blackness in her soul, or if I’ll be consumed by it in the way I’m consumed by her.
I try to push the thought away.
The idea that I might be left with nothing, nothing but the wreckage of myself, haunts me more than I care to admit.
I can’t bring myself to regret any of my actions, not now, not after everything that’s passed between us, and yet I can’t be sure of her.
I’d rather die than live without her, but I don’t know if I can trust her.
I draw a shaky breath, my fingers lingering against her skin. She stirs, her eyes fluttering open slowly, and I find myself searching for some sign that she feels the weight of it too.
“Kade?” she murmurs, her voice a soft rasp that sends a shiver down my spine.
I nod as her eyelids flutter open. Fuck, she’s beautiful. Stunning. As dazzling as the heavens and all the stars in them. I know now that I cannot be without her and I’ll have her, no matter what the cost or price I have to pay.
“Yeah,” I manage, my throat tight. “It’s me.”
She seems to be piecing things together, but there’s confusion there, too, as well as pain and exhaustion.
I feel it all radiating off her, and it kills me to know I’ve been a part of her suffering.
I’ve never had a conscience, but I’ve grown one for her, and it’s a revelation that will curse me until my dying day.
“What happened?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper.
Her question hangs in the air and I search for a simple answer. There isn’t one. I’ve seen what she can do. More than once. I’ve felt the depravity and depths of her darkness, and I know it’s as terrifying as mine.
“You nearly broke everything,” I say, my voice unsteady. “You let the void inside you consume you. Its power, its darkness… you almost destroyed us both.”
Zara blinks, as though the words don’t fully sink in. “I need you.”
I want to believe her. I want to trust her, trust that she needs me for reasons beyond her insatiable hunger for power. But Malric’s warning echoes again, a reminder of the danger that lurks beneath her beauty and her strength.
“I know, kitten.” My voice is laced with longing and uncertainty.
“I need you, Kade. You don't know.”
Her eyes search mine; a flicker of vulnerability mingled with a fierce determination that sends a jolt through me.
“You tried to break the blood weave—”
“For us,” she hisses, her eyes sparking with the defiance that makes my heart soar. “I needed to know, Kade. That we were a choice. For us.”
The pull she has on me is undeniable, and I almost allow myself to fall into her darkness, nearly betraying everything I’ve become.
“I want you, Kade,” she whispers. “Only you.”
I reach out and cup her face in my hands, feeling the warmth of her skin against my fingertips. It’s time to find out what she truly wants and this test, my test, won’t be the same as Malric’s.
“You didn’t break the weave,” I sigh.
Zara shakes her head furiously. Vehemently. With more determination and honesty than I thought a witch could ever possess.
“Fuck the ebon chain.” She sucks air in as she inhales. “I don’t want it broken, Kade. I won’t let it break. Not if that’s what it takes to keep you. To have you. As mine.”
I lean in, my breath brushing her ear, my voice low, dangerous.
“You’re changing your mind? Now? After all this, Zara? The blood weave is dangerous. It could consume us both.”
Her lips curl into a defiant smile, and the darkness inside her deepens. Her silver irises flash with unbridled lust and her breath is hot against my skin.
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Zara says. “For you. I’m not afraid of it, Kade. I’m not afraid of you. Not anymore. I'll have you, even if you don't want this, warlock.”
I freeze, my heart slamming against my chest. Zara’s without fear. She’s embracing this. This bond. This connection between us that I gave up fighting days ago brought us together, and it’s inescapable. It’s inevitable. And Zara finally wants it.
“You let Malric test you, kitten,” I say, desperate for her to give me more. “You wanted the blood weave broken.”
“You let him test me because I’d hurt you,” she replies, her fingers trailing down my chest, slow and deliberate as she marks her claim. “You didn’t stop him and I didn’t say anything. We’re as bad as each other, Kade.”
I hesitate for a moment and she notices. “You knew?”
“Of course I fucking knew,” she says, her lips barely a breath away from mine.
“You wanted to know my weaknesses. You hoped I’d admit I wanted you.
I wasn’t ready.” Her touch burns through me and I want to drown in it.
“I am now. You lied to me, I lied to you. It’s about time we stopped pretending, don’t you think? ”
I never wanted a partner, but she is my equal.
Zara isn’t quite my opposite or my antithesis.
She’s the pieces of my depravity I’m missing, the places where my evil cannot reach. I’ve never entertained the idea of sharing power, but Zara is different. She’s a force I can’t resist and in every moment I spend with her I find myself questioning if she’ll be the one who finally breaks me.
My hand moves over her and she rolls over, offering no resistance.
Her back arches as the fabric of her clothes fades, disappearing as her magic strips her bare.
Zara is perfection and every one of her curves was made for me.
She stares up at me and her nipples harden as her chest heaves, and the witch who has me under her spell is more nervous than she’s letting on.
“We’re finished fighting each other?” I ask, demanding nothing but complete acceptance of who and what I am.
She nods. “Except for fun. You like it when I fight.”
I smirk. I do. I like her brattiness. I like fucking her into submission and we both enjoy the roughness of it, and I don’t want to lose that, not with her. Not when she enjoys it too, and even if she doesn’t, then I wouldn’t give it up.
“I enjoy it when you take me, Kade.”
My fingers trail down her center, and her pupils widen as her lips part.
“You going to fight me now, kitten?” My dick hardens as Zara whimpers and shakes her head. “Fucking good girl.”
Zara’s teeth bite into her lip and one day, I’ll bite her hard enough to taste her blood as it mixes with her saliva. Not today, though. Today, I have another kind of fucking in mind, and the girl lying beneath me had better be the obedient slut her eyes suggest she wants to be right now.