Chapter 10 Dove #2
“So,” I began lightly, “I didn’t know I was on a road trip with a celebrity.”
Her lips curved into a smile before she could stop herself. “Please.”
“Well, you held it together well,” I said with a shrug. “I was struggling. I won’t lie.”
“I had to get good at turning off the part of me that wants to fall apart,” Ellis muttered, and the words hit me hard in the stomach.
“It’s just not fair. She’s just a kid. She hasn’t even lived yet, and she’s dying.
I can bet her entire life has been hospital wards and needles.
How does she get a death sentence, and I get three chances? ”
Three chances? I thought. Jeez.
“Well,” I said slowly, as Ellis looked out over the water, her brow furrowed, “life is really shit, in all truth. Like, it’s not fair in any way.
But trying to make sense of it will just drive you crazy.
I mean, the universe doesn’t run on fairness.
It’s brutal and chaotic—sometimes beautiful—but honestly?
It’s just a rigged lottery. But some things.
.. you get to choose what you do with them. ”
Ellis looked down at her hands and sighed.
“You know, the more I see of Liv, the more undeserving of her heart I feel. I mean, look at her, even in death, she has a zest for life. I mean, ignoring today, I have no idea what burst her bubble, but how... how did someone so vibrant and full of life end up dead and strapped to someone like me?”
I pursed my lips. “Well, I mean, I’ve been holding off asking how she died because I thought it was rude. Is it rude? I don’t know ghost etiquette.”
“Aren’t you a medium?” Ellis asked with a frown. “Isn’t this, like, your area of expertise?”
“Pft, no,” I scoffed. “Margaret was the medium. I mean, I can do the cards, birth charts, and crystals... but I’ve never had that particular gift.”
“Until now,” Ellis pointed out, giving me a side-eye. “You’re on a road trip with a literal ghost.”
I snickered, and we kept walking, the river glittering beneath us in the sunlight. I noticed the bridge began to curve slightly, an odd bend halfway through that looked like someone had tried to straighten it, gotten distracted, and given up.
“Is it meant to do that?” I asked, pointing.
“Yeah,” Ellis said with a nod. “It actually started as a barge safety feature, like, back when they thought this was a good place for traffic. But then it just... wasn’t. So now it’s here.”
“Damn,” I muttered. “You really are treating this trip like a school project.”
“I like knowing things!” Ellis defended. “I store information like a computer, don’t ask me why. Facts are fun. I know, it’s not as sexy or cute as being cool and spontaneous.”
I smirked, feeling that part of me, the one that had been simmering since Liv’s words last night in the motel room, start to stretch and stir.
“Oh, it’s incredibly sexy,” I told her with a wink. “Nothing gets me going like facts about bridges.”
She let out a choked sound, red blooming up her neck, and I smirked inwardly. Beneath the carefully layered puzzle that was Ellis Langley, there was someone I wanted to know better, despite my better judgment and past experiences.
The steel of the bridge groaned now and then, stretching under the sun. A group of cyclists passed us at one point, one of them grinning with the manic cheer of someone who’d had a granola bar for breakfast and genuinely thought cardio was fun.
“I’ve never done anything like this before,” Ellis said quietly, crossing her arms as we walked.
“Walked a bridge on a forced road trip?” I teased, a lightness bubbling in my chest.
Ellis shot me a look, but it lacked its usual bite. “No... I mean, I haven’t traveled without the destination being a hospital.”
My brows lifted, and I blinked.
“Wait,” she added quickly. “I lie. There was this one trip to Disney when I was like five.”
Something sharp tugged at my chest. I wanted to say something, but I’ve never been great with words unless I’ve got a tarot card in my hand.
“Well,” I said suddenly, “if you collapse on the bridge, I’m not carrying you.”
Ellis huffed a laugh. “Noted.”
Something sparkled in her green eyes then, the dim, faraway look disappearing as she truly smiled, and I had to swallow, trying to ignore the way her face lit up under the midday sun, her red hair glowing, her braid almost completely unraveled.
We reached the midway point, standing between two graffiti-covered signs.
“We’re in two places at once,” I pointed out, stretching my legs and planting one foot on the Illinois side and one on the Missouri side. “Quick, take my picture!” I said, holding the pose with a grin. “Then we can try and get a selfie!”
Ellis laughed and quickly lined up her phone, snapping a few shots.
“Okay,” I said, straightening. “Your turn.”
“Oh, I don’t need—”
“Shut up and get a photo, Ellis,” I ordered, nudging her arm.
Her expression didn’t match the sigh she gave, there was no real annoyance there. She mirrored my position, letting out a squeak as she almost lost her balance, then smiled and hissed through her teeth, “Hurry!”
I snapped it.
“I should probably film some content,” Ellis said quickly, stepping out of the pose.
“Oh yeah,” I murmured, momentarily forgetting she was supposed to be doing that. “Still no Liv,” I added with a frown.
“She’ll grace us with her presence when she’s ready to shit all over our day,” Ellis muttered, lining up her phone.
I gave her some space, walking over to the edge of the bridge and peering down at the water below.
Behind me, I could hear Ellis talking into her camera, gushing about the bridge and the trip so far, touching on Ted Drewes.
My ears perked up when she mentioned meeting a follower and gave a shout-out to Emilia.
Damn, she was good.
“All right, done,” Ellis said a moment later, pocketing her phone and walking over. “Do we have to walk the whole bridge? Is that the rule, or can we go back to the car?”
“I’m not sure, actually,” I admitted with a shrug. “I’m starving. I want lunch, and I haven’t seen Liv since we got here.”
“What is she doing?” Ellis suddenly blurted, her face going pale as she pointed.
I spun around.
Liv.
She was standing on the railing a little farther down, facing the water, arms spread like wings.
The wind tugged at her hair, and her sequined outfit shimmered under the sunlight, and for a moment, I was struck by the beauty of it.
Her eyes were locked on the river below, and I frowned, wondering what she was seeing.
And then she fell forward.
“Alexis!” Ellis screamed, her voice tearing through the air like a siren. Her hands flew to her mouth as she dropped to her knees, breaths coming hard and fast, like she was trying to remember how her lungs worked.
“Ellis!” I gasped, crouching in front of her, gripping her arms. “Ellis—hey—hey! She’s already dead, remember? She’s dead. That fall won’t kill her.”
Ellis sucked in a lungful of air, her eyes widening with realization. “I—I f-forgot. Oh God. I forgot. I thought I saw—”
“Who’s Alexis?” I asked with a frown, her scream still ringing in my ears.
She looked ready to crumble right there on the concrete.
“Always wanted to jump off a bridge,” Liv said, suddenly appearing beside us, her tone infuriatingly cheerful. “Just to see what goes through someone’s head on the way down, you know?”
My heart pounded like I’d just sprinted a mile, and I stared at her incredulously.
“Spoiler alert, your life does not flash before your eyes. It’s basically just oh no, oh no, oh shi—” She cut herself off with a wink. “Nice to know you care, though, Ellis.”
Ellis was trembling as she got to her feet, gripping my arm for support as she stared at Liv.
“You’re a fucking asshole,” she whispered, her voice shaking.
Then she turned on her heel and walked back the way we’d come. The smirk had faded slightly from Liv’s face, enough to make her look just a little sorry. I rubbed my face, shook my head, and followed after Ellis.
As we neared the end of the bridge, after what might have been the tensest silence of the entire trip, Ellis was still scowling, like she was horrified with herself for reacting the way she had.
Like something had short-circuited in her brain and activated something primal.
But part of me knew this had nothing to do with Liv and everything to do with this Alexis person.
Who was Alexis, and what had happened to her to trigger that kind of reaction in Ellis?
Liv walked beside me, arms crossed, mouth pressed into a tight line. That stillness didn’t feel like her at all.
No flippant remarks.
No exaggerated sighs.
No eye rolls.
Just silence.
“What was that about?” I asked finally, keeping my voice low.
She didn’t look at me. The wind blew again, pushing her pink hair across her face.
“Today’s my dad’s anniversary,” she murmured with a shrug.
Ellis’s footsteps ahead slowed slightly.
“He jumped off a bridge. Back home, in California,” Liv continued, her voice somber. “He just climbed up and walked off. Never came back up. Never saw him again.”
The breeze whipped through once more, tugging at the hem of her ridiculous sequined skirt, and the absolute absurdity of it all hit me.
The girl who handed out sharp remarks and commentary like Oprah giving away gifts, now walking quietly after diving off a bridge, telling me something that had clearly split her in half.
Because I wasn’t imagining the pain on her face. I felt it in me. The hurt. The anger. The confusion of it all.
“Why had he jumped? Why had he left us? Were we not good enough?”
The air felt trapped in my lungs.
“I thought maybe I would feel something up there,” she added softly. “Maybe he would be nearby. Or I’d finally get it. That I would know what he thought. If there could be any part of it that made sense.”
Ellis had stopped walking, and so did we.
She turned to face us.
“Did it?” I asked gently, taking her ghostly hand… feeling her, but not. “Did it make sense?”
“No,” Liv said with a humorless laugh. “It’s just a lot of wind.”
“I’m sorry,” Ellis said, her voice cracked and raw.
“Don’t be,” Liv replied with a shrug. “It was a long time ago. I just… I thought I’d see him here, wherever here is. But nothing. Where did he go, do you think?”
“I mean, I don’t believe in the whole heaven and hell thing,” I said quickly. “So if you want my version of events, it’ll take, like, a twelve-slide PowerPoint.”
“Thank God it’s a four-hour drive to Springfield, Missouri,” Liv muttered with a smirk. She let out a breath and squared her shoulders. “Okay. Let’s go. This place is tired and we need a vibe shift.”
I took half a step before I cursed, remembering the lump in my pocket.
“Wait,” I told them both as I dug out the small portion of Margaret, sitting in the smaller sandwich bag.
Ellis’s eyes narrowed, and Liv cracked a smile.
“I was going to scatter Margaret here, though. This will probably be the nicest stop in Missouri to do it.”
It was nice here, with the sound of the leaves blowing in the breeze and the water flowing beneath us. Margaret would have liked it.
Ellis’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment before she sighed and began to look around, as if scanning for witnesses—or a park ranger, or who knew what else.
“Hold up,” Ellis said as she licked her finger like a meteorologist, then repositioned herself a full length upwind, arms folded.
I rolled my eyes.
“Roll your eyes all you want,” Ellis said in her haughty tone, “but when you get a taste of the afterlife twice, you’d be double-checking as well.”
Liv sniggered before clearing her throat and nodding at me. “This is a good spot for it, Dove.”
I licked my dry lips and nodded, approaching the side of the bridge so I could scatter Margaret over the river. I took a calming breath as the plastic crinkled loudly when I unzipped it, my hand poised to pour as I eyed the gray dust.
Just for a breath, I held a piece of her, ignoring the sound of a barge groaning somewhere upriver. I closed my eyes.
“I miss you. Enjoy Missouri.”
I tipped the bag, and a soft plume of life unfurled and then lifted, loosening into glitter that caught in the sun cracking through the trees before it fell below, toward the brown, relentless current.
I sighed and plastered on a smile, looking to Liv and Ellis, who watched me, waiting, having the decency to look somewhat somber.
“So,” I started as I tucked the empty bag into my pocket, “lunch?”
“Oi!”
Ellis’s eyes widened, and I turned on my heel, noting a man farther up the bridge who looked very much like a park ranger in his fancy uniform and hat, running toward us with a determined expression.
“Shit!” I gasped, gripping Ellis’s hand and bolting. “Run!”
Ellis screamed, and her feet automatically began to sprint before Liv cackled loudly, running alongside us, laughing like a maniac as we tore toward the end of the bridge.
“Oi!” the ranger called again. “Stop right there!”
I noticed Ellis fumbling with her pocket as she ran, her face flushed and eyes wide with terror as she sprinted beside me. I saw what she ripped out just as she held it toward me, like passing a baton in a relay.
“You drive!” she shrieked. “I can’t do any more getaways!”
“Run!” Liv screamed with delight. “He’s catching up!”
“Shit, shit, shit!” I gasped, both fear and exhilaration racing through my veins as I snatched the key from Ellis.
I unlocked the doors, the satisfying pop hitting my ears, and we piled in.
I didn’t bother with my seat belt but noted Ellis tugging on hers, whimpering as it jammed twice before extending.
I grinned wickedly and put the key in the ignition, my hands shaking at the chance to finally get a turn behind this wheel.
I threw the car into gear and floored it, Ellis flung back into her seat while Liv slid along the back, delighted laughter spilling from her lips as the wheels tore up the dust and gravel behind me.
In the rearview mirror, I saw the ranger standing in the cloud of dust, hat in hand as he shook his head. I grinned and pressed the gas harder.