Chapter 18 #2
“Well, you have my interest,” Ida said, curiosity filling her voice. “What crime have you committed?”
I blinked. How did she know me so well?
“Well…” I bit the inside of my lip and sighed.
“I stole Margaret’s ashes from Uncle Bill, and I’ve taken her on the road with me.
I’m scattering her piece by piece across each state and location, and then, when we get to Santa Monica, I’m launching her into fireworks and scattering her into the Pacific. ”
I let out a breath of relief when the words were out there, no longer a secret.
Ida was silent for only a second before she laughed loudly down the line, the sound filled with shock and elation, becoming so shrill I had to pull the phone away from my ear.
“Oh, Dovey!” she gasped as she caught her breath. “That’s about the best thing I ever heard come out of your mouth, you crazy girl. You are definitely Margaret’s granddaughter.”
“You’re not mad?” I asked, feeling the tension slowly easing out of my body.
“Mad?” Ida asked, incredulous. “You’re fulfilling Margaret’s final wish, Dove. Why on earth would I be mad?”
“Well… I mean… I took her ashes without telling you. I’m scattering them… without you.”
Ida sighed down the line and clicked her tongue, and I could imagine her shaking her head in that way she did when I missed something obvious.
“I said my goodbyes to Margaret when she was alive,” Ida said, her voice firm and clear.
“I have my closure. You have a job to do for her, so do it without guilt, okay? You’re giving her what she wanted, and you’re going to scatter her in the same place as Diana.
I only ask that you do the same for me when I eventually kick the bucket. ”
Tears filled my eyes at her words, and I bit the inside of my lip, clenching my jaw to keep it together as I looked down the deserted road.
“I will,” I promised, my voice gravelly.
“Good,” Ida said gently. “I have a customer coming in, Dovey. I love you. Stay safe, and have fun scattering, okay? And have fun with your new girlfriend.”
“Ida!”
She cut the line, and I could just picture her laughing with glee at having gotten in that last word. My eyes flashed to Ellis, who was tracing something into the dust on the sign while Liv sniggered beside her, and my chest squeezed.
The faintest sizzling from another campsite and the wafting smell of BBQ’d meat had me grimacing at our humble packs of ramen, bread, and peanut butter, but I reined in my envy.
We were on a strict budget, and Liv had sprung this camping trip on us.
There was no room for hot food, especially since we’d invested in the pop-up kettle and tea.
One hundred percent worth it. And the scent of BBQ’d sausages wasn’t going to change my mind.
I glanced over at the tent, which had gone up in under five minutes.
I doubted its ability to provide any real warmth tonight, given the cost and ease of construction, but it would do for one night.
Still, watching how easily our little camp had come together left me sitting in a deep state of mistrust.
Nothing on this trip happened that easily.
Not stealing the ashes.
Not driving across the country with a ghost.
Margaret’s ashes were safely stowed in the trunk of the car, wrapped in the tote bag. I knew I wanted to scatter some of her at the halfway point before we left tomorrow.
The sun had already started slipping beneath the horizon, and the first few stars of the evening were beginning to prick their way into the light navy wash of the sky. I was perched on a cheap camping chair I’d swiped from lost and found, the worst one. I’d given Ellis the more put-together chair.
My iPad rested haphazardly on my knees as I continued working on my tarot deck, having now moved on to the Eight of Swords.
I was halfway through sketching the blind and bound woman when I realized I’d been drawing Ellis—paying special attention to the details of her red hair—but it was too late to stop now.
At the thought of her, I glanced up, taking her in as she lounged in the camper chair, her back against one armrest and her legs draped over the other. She was editing a video on her phone for her channel, brows knit together in concentration, earphones in as she worked.
The glow of the screen lit her face softly, and I caught the smallest quirk at the corner of her mouth, an almost smile tugging at her cheeks, tugging at something in my chest in return.
She looked content, which was surprising, given that Liv had once again derailed our trip and now had us in the great outdoors instead of a motel room.
Still, dinnertime was set and planned around Ellis’s medications.
The compromise.
Otherwise, she was just… actually enjoying herself. Starting to let go of the death grip she had on her trip binder.
I moved out of my illustration and clicked into the video I had uploaded earlier, eager to see the interactions and reach, to make sure I hadn’t fallen off the FYP with my lack of posting.
“It’s your weekly card if you’re an Aries, Taurus, or Gemini—don’t scroll.”
I watched as my hands shuffled the deck.
The Chariot came out.
“Aries, come on, you’re not impulsive—you’re just efficient. Just pick a lane and floor it, okay? Text later, but decide now.”
The interactions were still pouring in, people hearting the video and saving it to their bookmarks. My views were still climbing.
I was still on the radar.
I closed it.
There was a brisk breeze in the air, but it wasn’t cold. I’d lit a fire moments earlier so we’d have something going while I boiled water for our ramen. We’d swiped some sandwiches from the diner up the road, so we were set for food and water. It was just… different.
I’d liked the feeling of Ellis’s eyes on me as I built the fire, the small look of awe that mirrored her expression the day I’d changed the tire. I’d pretended not to notice her stare.
I wanted more than looks, though.
We’d been honest with each other. We had admitted point-blank facts that usually took months to come out, let’s be fair.
I wanted to kiss her. And who wouldn’t? She was gorgeous.
It wasn’t like I hadn’t been physically attracted to her this whole time, it had just been a personality thing in the beginning that put me off. But now?
Well, shit. None of that stuff was in the way anymore.
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t spent a fat few hours today, driving from Oklahoma, living in some weird fantasy that always ended with me kissing Ellis.
I sighed softly and went back to drawing.
“What do you think the point of it all really is?” Liv asked from above us, her voice casual as she floated in the air, arms behind her head as she gazed up at the sky. “Like, why are we here in the first place? Why do we actually bother?”
I blinked and glanced over at Ellis, who had removed a bud from her ear with a confused frown.
“That’s a pretty loaded question this early into the night,” I said lightly, setting down my iPad and clicking the pen back into its case.
“Well, I’m dead,” Liv mumbled.
A low exhale escaped my nose, and I leaned back in the chair, stretching out my legs, crossing my arms, and gazing up at the sky, catching the few twinkling lights that were now starting to multiply.
“I have no idea, really,” I said with a shrug.
“I mean, no one does. I guess we’re all just here to live the version of life we think is right for us, you know?
We’re here to experience stuff. Feel things, even the bad stuff.
Maybe especially the bad stuff. Imagine if everything was always perfect? We’d just be numbed out.”
“Maybe,” Liv muttered with her own sigh. “But then what next? Like, what happens when we die?”
I quirked a brow and lifted my head, glancing at Ellis, who wore a funny smile as she absorbed Liv’s question.
“Well, you’re the only one here with the qualifications to answer that, Liv,” I told her honestly.
“But how am I the only one here?” Liv pressed, an air of exasperation in her voice I hadn’t heard before. “Like, wherever I am right now—this weird limbo world, attached to Ellis like some parasite. Where are all the other ghosts with unfinished business?”
“Probably attached to other people,” I said. “I mean, look, no one truly understands or knows the answers to the afterlife. Margaret was a medium. She got messages from people’s loved ones, but there was never any mention of where they were or what they did. Just that they were happy. At peace.”
“I just don’t get it,” Liv grumbled. “Like, what was the point of being alive for such a small amount of time, just to die and then be stuck? What did I actually achieve in twenty-one years that had the universe saying I was done?”
I shared a look with Ellis, who was now visibly chewing the inside of her cheek, her eyes wide like a deer in headlights. I watched her hand twitch where it rested against her chest.
“I just—I just wonder sometimes if I actually did anything that mattered, you know?” Liv said again, her voice small and searching.
I could only imagine her eyes scanning the stars for answers.
“I mean, all I ever did was party a lot, hang out with friends, and plan big dreams I never got to fulfill. Like… why was I even here?”
“You would have been a spark in people’s lives, Liv,” I told her, the words coming without thought.
“You would have rippled out among anyone you knew, anyone you crossed paths with. It’s obvious you’re a force of nature.
People like you leave impressions. Offhand comments stick.
You ripple out, Liv, even if you don’t mean to. ”
Silence met my words. Heavier this time, the weight of it settled low in my stomach.