Chapter 33 Ellis
ELLIS
The gentle hum through the air vent of Dr. Mason’s office was comfortingly familiar as I sat in the same chair I had occupied weeks ago.
It creaked as I shifted, crossing my legs beneath me.
The faint scent of peppermint tea drifted up my nostrils as I stared down at my mug, remembering how it had felt to sit here last time—counting down the seconds until I could leave, convinced she couldn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know about myself.
“So,” Dr. Mason began, pen poised in the exact same way she always held it, “you’ve been on a bit of an adventure.”
I smiled faintly, a gentle laugh escaping my lips. “It was… a lot. It came out of nowhere. My friend’s grandmother passed, and she wanted to scatter the ashes in Santa Monica. My grandfather gave me a car, and it just seemed like… fate.”
I had rewritten the story for digestible telling.
I couldn’t exactly prance around saying I had helped get a dead girl across the country and carried on full, lucid conversations with her.
So there was no mention of Liv, or of ghosts, or of the heart I had inside me with its unfinished business.
It wasn’t because I was ashamed but because it belonged to me and Dove—and to those directly impacted.
Those who understood.
It wasn’t important for the rest of the world to know.
Dr. Mason’s brows lifted with faint surprise. “That’s quite the undertaking, Ellis. This friend, is she new in your life?”
“An old friend,” I lied gently, warmth washing through me at the thought of Dove. “We hadn’t spoken in a while, but we reconnected.”
Dr. Mason nodded and smiled. “How was it, being out there on the road?”
I toyed with the hem of my sleeve, memories rising, my lips quirking with the urge to let a laugh burst out of me.
“Honestly? It was the best experience of my life.”
Her pen hovered at my words, and she arched a brow. “That’s a big statement. I’d like to know more. Why was it the best experience of your life?”
I leaned back as ease coursed through me and took a deep breath, holding my warm mug.
“I shocked myself every day,” I admitted with a shrug.
“I never thought it would be something I could do. And sure, I had my meltdowns, but it was freeing, terrifying, and incredible all at once. When we broke into my friend’s uncle’s house to steal the ashes, it was the first time in my life I felt truly alive. Like I wasn’t just existing.”
Dr. Mason’s lips pressed together, though amusement danced in her eyes. “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear about the breaking and entering. However, theft as therapy—that’s a new one.”
My cheeks flushed, and I laughed. “Well, it worked. Everything from that point on was like someone sticking a defibrillator to my heart and hitting the shock button.”
We sat in silence for a while, and I remembered how there was a time when the quiet in here used to suffocate me. Now it felt restful—not taunting, but placating.
“What moment stands out most for you?” Dr. Mason asked, genuine interest in her voice.
My mind immediately leapt to the Ferris wheel and the woman with the silver-white scar across her chest. My throat tightened, and my heart fluttered.
“I met a woman,” I said softly. “She had a heart transplant thirty years ago. She called every day a gift after that, said she didn’t intend to waste a second of it. And I—just seeing her, hearing her say it… something shifted. I let myself have more hope than I ever had before.”
Dr. Mason set down her pen. “Ellis Langley, do I dare ask if it gives you more hope for your own ‘after’?”
The word hung in the air—the word we had wrestled with in our last session, the word that had shadowed me for years. Tears stung behind my eyes.
“Yes,” I whispered. “It really does.”
Something had surrendered in me since the last time I sat on this couch.
Not defeat, but a surrender to acceptance—that I did have more, perhaps even more than the next person.
And it was as if, from the moment Liv stepped into my life and slapped some sense into me, it became almost absurd that I had thought and behaved the way I once had.
“Well, Ellis,” Dr. Mason said with a soft laugh, joy flickering in her eyes, “I have to admit, you went above and beyond on your homework. I expected a little more resistance from you.”
A laugh slipped from me, and I shook my head. “Well, I haven’t even unloaded the trauma of the date I went on after you told me to get out there…”
“A date?” Dr. Mason’s eyes widened. “Ellis, how are we supposed to get through all this in a one-hour session?”
When my hour was up, and I had given Dr. Mason enough material to tide her over until our next session, I all but danced my way out of her office and down the stairs into the street.
I paused when I saw Dove leaning against a signpost, phone in hand, her hair in its usual messy space buns, her favorite tie-dye shirt hanging loose.
The only thing new was the fresh pair of black Converse on her feet.
The second she glanced up and saw me, her face broke into a grin. She pocketed her phone, pushed off the post, and crossed the distance in a few strides.
“Hey, Langley,” she murmured as her hand slipped to my waist, as if it had always belonged there. Tilting my chin with her other hand, her thumb brushing my cheek, she kissed me—slow, deep, and certain.
The world blurred when her lips met mine, the noise of the city fading as bliss rushed through me, as if sunlight poured in and warmed me from the inside.
I’d never tire of kissing Dove Marley… or doing anything with her, so long as I was with her.
My thoughts flickered briefly to the drive home—how we had taken our time coming back, taken our time with each other.
When she pulled back, my chest ached, and I pressed my forehead to hers.
“I love you,” I breathed softly.
She grinned and tugged a strand of my hair. “I love you too. How was the session?”
“Probably the best one I’ve had yet,” I told her honestly. As we parted, she took my hand, tugging me along the sidewalk toward her shop. “Dr. Mason will probably be losing her mind at how much I just told her, but she’s the one who told me to live, after all.”
Dove’s brown eyes lit with amusement as she squeezed my hand. “So, how does it feel, then?”
My brows knit. “How does what feel?”
Her grin widened. “To be alive.”
For the first time in my life, I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t spiral or think about expiration dates or statistics. I just let my grin mirror hers, brushed my hair behind my ears, and felt my heart hammer in my chest—a tempo akin to Liv’s strut in high heels, full to bursting.
“It feels fucking incredible.”