Chapter 9 Robin #4
It's ingrained in me to not trust anyone after what I've been through, but my instincts don't flare with the urge to flee whenever I'm with him.
I try to remind myself that no way would he be in Phin's life if he was truly terrible.
Maybe I've just gotten everything completely wrong about him, like so many others have.
I also need to consider that despite being one of my best friends, she could very well be giving me sisterly advice because she's interested in Wren; after all she’d practically begged to go see the gig.
Just because I wasn't out at their elite parties didn't mean I wasn't privy to what goes on.
Lil always has a way of getting what she wants when it comes to men.
Conflicted, I find a middle ground and sit at one of the large reading tables in the center of the room.
The library door remains closed so I assume this is everyone for our morning meeting, the others sliding into their seats.
Wren hesitantly sits back down, whilst Cardinal takes the seat opposite me at the table and Lil leans against the far desk, leaving both my friends standing.
Phin's eyes are blood shot and puffy blotches litter his cheeks, meaning after waking me up this morning he probably had another moment to process.
Having always worn his emotions on his sleeve, it kills me to think of how much pain he's been hiding from everyone.
Merle is tense behind him but squeezes his boyfriend's hand, his usual pressed outfit incredibly crumpled. I'm pretty sure his light blue shirt is buttoned in the wrong order. Letting out an exhale that Phin mimics, he turns back to us all and rubs his stumble with his free hand.
“I won't beat around the bush, Phoenix and I stayed up all night talking this through. Whilst I am still hurt, I’m no longer mad. It’ll take some time to recover that trust, but I forgive him and want to get past this,” he starts, giving his hand another squeeze and I watch my best friend's eyes become watery. He rests his blonde head in the nook of his shoulder. “The rest of the weekend is going to go ahead as normal. We’re going to celebrate the opening of the hotel together, united and hope to god this murder mystery doesn’t ruin anything else.
” He then goes on to thank Wren for his help in getting Phin better.
“It’s an incredibly unfair position he put you in, but I also understand how stubborn he is, and it's hard to say no to him.”
“Rob, I’m so sorry.”
My eyes flash to meet devastated blue ones and I’ve never seen him look so lost before.
I can’t seem to hold back the burn in my eyes as tears fill my own.
“Why didn’t you tell me? You promised if it happened again you’d tell me and we’d find another facility.
I thought moving to York helped, right? You haven’t been high the entire time?
” I have to stop myself from asking him more questions because I can recognise myself spiralling.
I feel like such an awful friend, not noticing any of the signs of another relapse.
But this isn’t about me and my hurt friendship, it’s about Phoenix and if he’s ok.
“No, I promise I haven’t. I don’t want to make excuses, but I’ve just had so much on my plate constantly building, I just needed a release,” He lets out a shaky breath and runs his fingers through his wild hair.
“After this weekend I’m going to look into a health facility that's close. I still need some help to get good habits back on track and Merle agrees it’s a good idea to move forward.
I never wanted to keep you in the dark. Any of you. ”
Lil lets out a small cry as her lips wobble. “Oh Darling. You absolute massive idiot.” She wraps one arm around herself and wipes furiously at her eyes, never being able to deal well with sadness.
“I know. Massive idiot. World's biggest fuck up right here.” Phin tries to smile through his own tears, but it causes her to let out another cry and suddenly he’s across the room and they’re hugging. Her shoulders shake as she buries herself into his chest.
After her quiet cries turn into hiccups, he plants a gentle kiss on her hair and walks over to throw himself into the armchair next to Wren. The latter takes hold of his knee and gives it a shake. “It’s for the best, mate.”
“Yeah. It really is.”
“I don’t like it when Daddy’s are fighting.” he teases, causing both my friends to roll their eyes playfully. I honestly think they’ll be ok. Phin only meets my eyes briefly, but I accept that maybe we’ll need time to build that trust back up too.
“I’m sorry to interrupt the moment,” Cardinal says slowly, aware his purpose of being here for this moment may be foggy. “But what’s the plan with Corbin and finding the secrets? Do we just confront him?”
Merle sighs gruffly, slipping both hands into his crumpled pockets. “Unfortunately I think we’re going to have to continue playing his game and find all the secrets. The man’s out for blood.”
Phin nods. “Whatever is going on Rob, I don’t think it’s a coincidence anymore that he’s throwing a murder mystery party. Not when you’ve just published your book, which features a murder mystery party.”
“The sewing society takes Detective Featherton to the yearly murder mystery party, thrown at a local Manor House. One of the murders actually takes place there.” I say, but Merle is already steaming rolling ahead, almost becoming frantic to get his words out quickly.
“We need to get one step ahead of him and find these clues. If we can get all the secrets ourselves, then we can decide what to do with them. Hell, we can just not even read them if we want.”
“I have no clue what my secret could be,” I admit, “Does anyone else?”
Lily throws a straight strand of golden hair over her shoulder. “This is insane. People throw murder mystery parties all the time, our brother isn’t on some journey for revenge because she decided to stop returning his calls.”
Probably from embarrassment, my words come out a little short.
“I mean it was a little more than just not returning his calls Lil,” I sigh, looking at the grain in the wooden table instead of looking up at anyone.
“But I think you're right, I don't have a dark secret to reveal. How can he show me up?” Last week I admitted defeat and looked up how to keep my banana plant alive, because he looked sad. Not exactly anything to gossip about.
“All I'm saying is maybe the six of us should just try a little harder than everyone else to find the secrets. Then we can decide on what to do.” Merle suggests with his palms raised.
“Darlings, maybe he just wanted to out your little problem? I'm pretty sure the rest of us will go unscathed. I have nothing to hide.” Lily stands, pressing down her denim skirt. “I just want a weekend of going a little too hard on the champers and relaxing in the sun. Not playing Scooby Doo.”
Letting out a stream of air, Phin rakes his hand through his hair as she leaves the room.
“She's such a nightmare sometimes. I don't know how you put up living next to her.” Before I can answer, Wren stalks out of the room next.
It instantly feels dimmer, like he took the growing light with him.
It's Merle's turn to sigh, looking between the remaining three of us.
“Let's just grab some breakfast. We’ll have time to look for the clues in-between little activities I planned today. Try to engage with Corbin as little as possible.”
We nod in unison. I'm not above hiding out all day if it means staying away from him.