Chapter 16 Wren
Chapter sixteen
Wren
SO, does it really count as stalking if you were already hiding in the bushes when your dream girl walks past?
A girl I am royally fucking my chances with by pushing her away out of panic.
It almost broke me seeing the hurt I inflicted in those pools of caramel yesterday; I dimmed them to whisky pits and I’ve beaten myself up all night.
I was plagued with watching her face fall.
Her eyes glazed over, over and over until I ended up laid there in bed, staring at the ceiling in exhausted defeat.
The moment the clock in my room showed it was a reasonable time and I knew she’d be up, I sprung out of bed to apologise but couldn’t find Robin anywhere.
I’d walked aimlessly around the hotel, stopped for a coffee before I combust with angst and continued my hunt outside for her.
It’s not that I was lurking in the bushes waiting, more like I had fallen over my own feet, landed on my arse and felt too tired to get back up for a while.
That’s when I spotted her walking down the path, heading into the beat up glass house and I fell in my attempt to stand up straight.
For the briefest moment I thought she’d seen me, but I kept still in my embarrassment until she reemerged and Lily came out of nowhere.
Hearing their voices rising at each other, I’d quickly dusted the dirt off my bare knees and ran down the path, but she’d already disappeared.
The leaves didn’t sway today and there was no cool breeze from the lake. It was suffocating.
“Fuck my life.” I whisper to no one, running my hands through my messy hair as I make my way back to the house.
With each step my mood sinking, the thoughts becoming louder as they tell me what a mess I am.
I can’t stop them, one thought after another, telling me I’ve made this problem with Corbin myself.
That I should keep away from her because she’s too good for me.
I could help Phin but I couldn’t stop him from making mistakes in the first place.
I wasn’t good to anyone. Each thought cuts off the neurons to my brain, making it hard to breathe until I rub my chest in circles.
I’ve had panic attacks before and the build up to this one leaves spots dancing in my vision, and I press my back into a large tree.
The rough bark grounds me as it rubs through my t-shirt against my skin.
I’ve created so much mess and all it would take is for Corbin to have set up leaks to the media to take us all down.
He might be dead, but the fucker was making sure we all didn’t leave this hotel in one piece.
I take the path round to the back of the house, where I find the guys standing on the patio. Bran, Mavis and Jay hold towels, dressed in swimwear and all beamed brightly as I walked their way. Phoenix pops up from the sun lounge next to his boyfriend, leaping up in an attempt to catch me off guard.
“There you are you beautiful fucker. We’re all going to go for a swim in the lake before the rain starts.
” He slaps my back and I instinctively wrap a palm around his nape to pull his forehead to mine.
It started as a form of endearment when we were kids, but into adulthood I always did it to focus on his eyes to see if he was high.
His pupils were blown wide now, but he didn’t smell like alcohol.
He wouldn’t have been so stupid as to bring drugs here, so he must have taken prescription drugs that hopefully Merle had given him.
It did explain his social mood and how he was functioning, but I’d make sure he stopped soon before that too became a problem.
Phin was an addict and anything could keep his attention.
“Perfect. Let’s fucking go.” I say, freeing his neck but throwing an arm over his shoulder as he stirs me towards the end of the garden, which leads to the lake.
Everyone follows, Merle collecting his book and Bran practically bound down the steps in one giant leap.
Expecting the hit as he jumps onto my back, large arms wrapping around my body and I try to carry him a few steps.
“Wrenny baby, I’ve missed you. Do you reckon the boys miss us? I bet Ottis doesn’t know what to do without us.”
I snort, thinking about our band mates and how they no doubt were freaking the fuck out.
“Ottis won’t even know we’ve gone. He’ll have taken some girl he met this weekend to Ibiza, or be trying to swing a royal again to call himself the dick me down Prince Charming.
” I also had no doubt that our bassist River was probably at home writing music, or playing those cosy games he was obsessed with.
He was more of a homebody and rarely showed interest in anyone, apart from a certain female musician that we weren’t allowed to speak of.
He'd been acting strange on our last tour, shutting himself away on the bus and we could never get ahold of him.
Bran pouted over my shoulder, “I miss them.” He said, before getting off my back and grabbing at his girlfriend who slowly takes his hand.
I hadn’t spent much time around the couple as she rarely spent any time with the guys, even if her best friend clung to us.
He was the king of casual, tattoo’s scattered all over his body and had a wild energy that never was purged.
Mavis was clean cut, always looked like she was ready to go to her office job and I was almost afraid to crack a joke around her.
She didn’t slot into our world, but I guess they both had a movie star quality to them.
Willow slowly makes her way down the patio steps behind everyone, with a towel and Chanel bag. Briefly I look back, but her focus is on the back of her friend's head, distracted and slightly solemn. It's the first time I'm not on total edge around her.
“Hey man, did you go straight to bed Friday? My mind went totally blank when Starling asked.” I look at Bran, who just shrugs at me and frowns like he’s trying to remember what he had for breakfast two months ago.
I might be putting unwanted distance between myself and Robin for her own good, but I still want to help.
“I don’t know, I’m pretty sure I had a drink with that guy, for a little while in the bar. Bro came down for one too.” He dips his head towards his brother and I want to press more, but Merle replies before I can.
“Not for a drink. I hauled your arse to bed.”
Phin gives me a questioning look, but it's disturbed when Jay creeps up on my right and tossed his arm over the other side of me. Playfully pushes him off, Phin hiss mine in that weird Gollum voice he does.
“Jay my boy, I feel like I’ve not seen you all weekend.” I confess, patting his shoulder.
“That's because you’ve had hinny on the brain.” He says laughing, his Georgie twang thick. Raising my eyebrow and giving him my best what the fuck are you talking about expression, he laughs harder. “You’ve found yourself a nice woman and we’re very happy to see you acting like a love struck pup.”
I can’t contain my smile but I push him away, only causing his laugh to deepen and Bran joins in. I want to deny it, but I honestly think she has taken up my entire mind which is a refreshing reprieve from the worry I'm usually racked with.
“Where is Robin?” Mavis asks and for once Willow's face remains neutrally uninterested beside her.
“Not sure actually, I couldn’t find her.”
“She went looking for the next clue. We should probably all try to find the rest, but I think her and Cardinal are probably the quickest to work them out.” Phin adds into the conversation and I’m floored with the wave of jealousy.
She wasn’t with him when I saw her in the woods, but maybe I should ditch the group and head back to find her.
“She’s a big girl Wren. If she wants to continue playing that silly game with someone else, let her.
” Willow's tone isn't her usual taunt and I feel like whilst she's annoyed, it's not aimed at Robin for once.
She's not attacking me out of jealousy or trying to turn the attention to her, in fact her gaze is off in the trees as the dirt track turns to sand underneath our feet.
“I was thinking that tonight we should put on a meal. If you're all staying for longer, maybe we can plan some activities.” Merle suggests, probably stepping in like he expects us to go for each other's throats.
Coming up behind his brother, Bran grabs his shoulders. “Great idea. We can even set up the gear again if we need something to do.”
Phin bounces. “Let's throw a dinner party in the lakehouse. We had all the food for the weekend delivered by the caterers Friday, so maybe we can cook it all and still show off the new space.”
“Sure bud. Sounds like an awesome idea. We’ll get some of the decorations down here, decorate the tables and make a night of it.
” I smile at him, trying to gauge how his eyes are practically vibrating.
He's hyper focused, yet erratic and I’m getting annoyed at how oblivious Merle is over this behaviour.
You can't casually give an addict medication.
Others in our small group agree and we form a plan on how to organise getting the food down to the lake, as well as who wants to help set up. Maybe a distraction is a good thing.