Chapter 24 Wren
Chapter twenty-four
Wren
THE words had been right there on my tongue, ready to tell Robin the truth.
Instead, I had deflected as always, replacing what could have been the right moment, with a flood of guilt.
I felt like such an asshole. While she has always been honest with me, wearing her heart on her sleeve; what had I done?
I’ve been lying to her from the moment we met.
Not only did I keep Phin's relapse a secret from everyone, but he will strangle me on her behalf when he finds out what I've kept from him too.
Right after we found what I thought was my secret, I came upstairs to find the one Corbin had planned as part of the game, snuggly placed on my pillow.
It would have ruined fifteen years of friendship and if gotten out, probably my career.
His own sister would have dragged me down screaming, especially without her older brother to protect her as always.
This shouldn’t be my priority, but it would have ruined anything I was grasping at with Robin before it even started, so I kept it from her and tried to push her away.
I really did try, but seeing how hurt she was when I rejected her—it fucking killed me.
She saw through the bullshit and right then I doubted whether I could ever be without her.
She’d been on the right track guessing someone is seeking out their own penance by revealing worse secrets.
If Corbin had known about Merle's affair, that would have been the secret we found; the debt was just a sprinkle in conversation to make sure his brother left him. Family name was everything to a man like him, so Phoenix’s behaviour wasn't acceptable.
Not amongst their circles. As head of their family he couldn't step out of his perfect esteemed path, so it doesn't take a genius to figure out how he felt.
Shame and guilt stabbed at me whilst bringing my girl pleasure, I tainted the trust she gave me without question and I knew I couldn't keep this up. I needed to tell her everything. Whilst I sat washing her hair, a puzzle piece finally slotted into place. I’d always wondered how Corbin had been privy to what his brother got up to–the accidents or messes I’d cleaned up and kept from public knowledge.
Before his longer stay in rehab before he headed to university with Robin, Phin was popping pills and taking anything that was given to him.
We’d just played a gig in Liverpool and as I stepped off the stage, hair drenched in sweat, I’d gotten back to the dressing room to endless missed calls.
Not even showering, I’d rushed back to the hotel room I’d booked him into, already seeing the balcony windows smashed and a chair laid in the middle of the road as my taxi had pulled in.
With flashing lights in the distance, I’d rushed to the room to find him tripping off his balls, believing a shadow woman with wet hair was trying to kill him.
He wouldn’t stop fretting that she was wetting the carpet.
After he’d calmed down enough, I’d gotten him out of the bathroom and onto the bed, where he admitted he’d tried to fight her, threw a chair, but it’d smashed through the eight floor window.
This was what actually started his stint in rehab.
I’d made the calls the following day, his family aware of his drug problem but not any detail of the events that happened.
I’d had a second to make a decision; help save a friend who would be arrested for drugs, or blame the entire thing on a sober rockstar who just had a moment.
Our PR team would make sure the story never saw the light of day.
Quickly I’d moved him to my room across the hall and shut him in, returning to the bedroom and checking that he hadn’t actually brought anything he’d taken back to the room.
It was clear, so I staged the room like I was ready for a night in, pacing to amp myself up when the police got to the room.
I’d taken the entire blame, said the hotel was shitty for not having a brand of whisky I’d demanded and I didn’t even get arrested.
The band had been furious with me and knew things didn’t add up, but like promised, our PR team kept it from the press.
I’d paid a large fine and got my lawyer involved.
It was only this spring that Corbin approached me in a coffee shop around the corner from our usual recording studio in London.
My brain had automatically thought it was Phin at first—the resemblance was there—but he was, of course, years older than his brother.
His presence had unnerved me from the moment I noticed him, but he’d walked straight up to me and explained he knew everything I had done.
He didn’t just explain; he’d made it very clear that what was to happen next was blackmail.
If I didn’t want him to drag up the incident with the right people to make it known the mess had been his brothers, I was to be indebted to him, to be used as he wished at a later time.
That date had eerily been the following week.
Waking to my phone buzzing from somewhere in my bed, I shot up in the hotel room somewhere in Lisbon and answered, panicked Phoenix needed me or one of the guys.
Instead, mocking laughter had scolded me for the company I keep and the idiots I’d allowed into my London apartment whilst I wasn't even in the country. I’d been so confused because no one lived with me—that apartment was modest sized, so it was never really used for parties, just casual hook ups or if we were recording in the city.
Annoyed, I’d lashed out and my reaction had been exactly what he’d been waiting for.
It had confirmed something for him, giving him enjoyment in telling me I was going to take the fall once again for one of his siblings, just not the male variety.
Lily had swiped my key from Phoenix and invited a bunch of her friends to her famous rockstar friend’s home, promising I’d be there, where they partied hard and trashed the entire place.
I was pissed, confused, until he dropped the bomb that one of the girls had been taken to the hospital and nearly overdosed because of drugs that had been dealt out that night.
He never stated outright that his sister had been the one to hand them out, but he wouldn’t be cashing in this favor if she hadn’t.
I’d again been threatened with him taking the knowledge of his brother’s behaviour to the authorities and the hotel, which I couldn’t let happen.
By some miracle they hadn't checked the corridor cameras, but they had access to proof of my lie if he got in touch with them. Taking the blame for the full party, owning the drugs in case the girl woke up in hospital and wanting to press charges, Corbin’s ideal situation was that his sister had never been there.
He paid people off, including myself. We’d never discussed money, but once the girl was discharged from hospital and the police never turned up at my door, a disgustingly large amount of money appeared in my account with a text thanking me for my services.
The fucker had me by the balls, but Phoenix was my family.
He’d no doubt get in way more trouble than the slap on the wrist I’d managed to pull, but this shit was far from ok.
Not one person breathed a word and I never discussed it with Lily; the first time being in the same room was when I stepped out of our hired van in front of Nightingale House.
Hell, she may not even know the lengths her brother had gone to cover up her mess.
I waited around the entire afternoon Friday, looking for Corbin to demand an explanation over the money that I had sent back numerous times for it to only be sent back again.
I didn’t want his filthy bribe, but then I’d found Robin in the library and I’d been completely consumed by her instead.
I derailed my plan because I’d gotten so lost in her eyes, those fucking caramel orbs flecked with warm browns and touches of amber.
They changed with her every expression, baring her soul only to me.
I’d decided to let it go, find another way to give his dirty money back or pass it to his brother in some form of apology for keeping this from him.
All I had to do was come clean, not dry hump the woman I’ve carved into my skin and won't stop till she's completely mine.
I've never felt like this for anyone. She makes me feel elated, like the high I get when on stage. The love for the music, the deep joy I feel when I’m doing what I love and the rush of performing.
I feel all of that just being given the privilege of being near Roo.
NUZZLING into the pillow, I inhale the scent of shampoo and how my own cologne merges with Robin's sweet smell.
It's heaven, the bed feeling like ours as I stretch my limbs and reach for the tiny woman I desperately need to cuddle right now.
Maybe I can make us cups of tea and hopefully make her understand my involvement with Corbin.
My fingers ache to touch her, but it's taking me longer than it should to locate her body.
Frowning, I lift my head, peering at the crumpled sheets and empty space which should contain my girl.
Where the fuck is she?
Grey light spills into the room but it's brighter than it has been in days, and I know she'll be happy to not hear the sound of relentless rain.
I still don't understand why my best friend decided to live in Yorkshire; it's like the entire county stops when a storm cloud hovers over it for too long.
“Roo?” I call out, voice hoarse and my eyes jump to the bathroom, but there isn’t any light spilling under the door. I'm pretty sure she's not in my room at all, but that doesn't make sense since we'd gone to sleep so content. Has someone stopped by?