Chapter 37
THIRTY-SEVEN
LIAM
The counter’s overrun with takeout containers and dirty mugs. I should clean it up, but it’s like a fog of indecision has settled over Kat and me. It’s been days since Ashworth’s arrest, and we’re just surviving in a state of What now?
Kat’s holed up on the sofa reading a book.
Or reading the same paragraph of the book time and again while her mind is elsewhere, since she hasn’t flipped a page in an hour.
Reggie luxuriates in her lap like he hasn’t a care in the world, occasionally shoving his paw in Hamish’s face.
The scruffy sausage dog is curled up on Kat’s feet, not minding the cat’s intrusion in the slightest.
I want to curl up in her lap too.
There’s zero chance I can stay still, though. There’s been no place for my anger about Ashworth to funnel to; it’s stored up inside me like I’m a rage-powered battery, just waiting to be unleashed.
Funnily enough, staring at the door doesn’t miraculously make Freddie and Ellie appear. I’m not surprised, given that they said seven o’clock and it’s not even ten to.
Heading into the kitchen, I start shoving takeaway rubbish into a bin bag, needing somewhere to channel my energy. We should be excited. Should be celebrating the list’s completion. Should be packing up our things for the big move to our new home.
Instead, we’re stuck in limbo. Will the police appear at the door at any moment? Will they drag us away, never to see each other again as we rot in different prisons? We’re caught somewhere between freedom and captivity, and it’s doing my mental state no good.
Footsteps approach outside as I finish cleaning the small kitchen, having scrubbed the counter half to death to abate my nerves. Not that it works.
The minute Freddie walks in, I lose it, tearing across the room and punching him square on his perfect fucking jaw.
‘Liam!’ Ellie shrieks, grabbing my arm. But she’s no match for the unending wave of fury that rises in my chest as I grab Freddie by the scruff of his collar and force him back against the wall.
‘Do you know what the fuck you did?’ I snarl as Freddie rubs his chin, staring at me like he’d been expecting worse.
‘Saved you from rotting in a prison cell for the rest of your life?’
‘Fuck you,’ I say, pushing him harder into the wall.
‘You guys were clouded by your bloody list. It could have cost you Kat. Even if not for you, see it for her. Can you imagine spending your life with nothing but letters going back and forth? Spending years apart until you fucking die?’ Freddie stares me down as his words strike.
‘Liam, put him down,’ Ellie pleads. Kat watches, her book resting against the arm of the sofa.
‘It wasn’t your call,’ I say.
‘Someone had to do it. You’ve been incredibly lucky to get away with what you have, but knowing when to stop is essential. If you’d have taken out Ashworth, you’d have been the enemy. His sins would have been usurped by yours.’ Freddie moves his jaw from one side to the other and winces.
‘We’ve been stuck here for days, not knowing whether he would rat us out,’ Kat says, sliding Reggie from her lap and standing.
‘He can’t,’ Freddie says, tugging himself from my grip and adjusting his collar.
‘Why?’ I ask.
‘He’s not being charged with your murders.
He’s being charged with the abuse and the murders of the children found at the cottage.
His defence will argue that he had nothing to do with the ring.
If he gets you taken in for the killings, it will prove you were a victim of his, and pull the rug out from under his case.
He’s a cunt, but not an idiot.’ Freddie moves himself over beside Ellie, wrapping an arm protectively around her shoulders.
‘You hope,’ I say.
‘Have you heard from the police yet?’ Ellie asks.
‘No.’ Kat shivers before sitting back down and pulling the cat back into her lap like a living hot water bottle.
‘Because he can’t point at you without it reflecting right back at him.’ Freddie rubs his chin again, a bruise already beginning to bloom.
My fists clench again, the anger still buzzing through my veins with nowhere to go. Ellie pushes between Freddie and me, glowering.
‘We were protecting you both,’ she says, ‘that’s what families do.’
Family.
Sighing, I sag back against the door. ‘I want him dead.’
‘He’ll pay,’ Freddie says. ‘Men like him always do. It just won’t be your hand. Even if he’s housed amongst similar offenders, his kind are the lowest of the low. Not to mention him being a police officer. He’ll find no kindness inside.’
The fight goes out of me. There’s no changing it now. No matter how much I burn for his retribution to come from my blade.
Kat comes to me, Reggie in hand. ‘They’re right. All we can do is keep clean and move forward. If he ever gets released, we’ll be waiting.’
Reggie bumps my hand with his head, and I can’t help but soften. The pain is still there. The injustice. But my family are what I need to focus on if we’re going to have any future. It’s so easy to get lost in the red mist of revenge. And I can’t lose Kat again. Not for Ashworth. Not for anyone.
‘We’re leaving,’ Ellie says softly.
‘What?’ Kat asks.
‘Freddie’s joining me on my travelling trip. After everything, we just need to get away. Clear our heads with a bit of space.’ Ellie gives a little shrug, her face hard to read, like she’s waiting for Kat’s reaction.
’Thankfully Ashworth never had time to make good on his threat at the paper, but I’ve decided to go freelance for a while. The buzz around the story has given me far more freedom than I had before.’ Freddie walks his fingers up Ellie’s waist while he speaks.
‘You don’t have to go,’ Kat says, her voice cracking. ‘We’ll get past this.’
‘I do.’ Ellie crosses to Kat, pulling her into a big hug that sends Reggie wriggling out from between them, running like they were intending to hug him to death.
‘And you should do the same. Move into your mansion house. Fuck in every room until you get all this tension out. Adopt a million more strays. Decorate your room in Barbie pink like you always wanted to as a big fuck you to your parents.’
Ellie wipes at Kat’s face, catching her tears. ‘Go be happy with my lump of a brother. Let go of this revenge and build a life together before the anger rips you apart. You both deserve that.’
‘I love you,’ Kat blubs, pulling Ellie back into the cuddle.
‘As do I,’ I say, pulling them both into my arms.
‘We’ll send you postcards,’ Ellie says. ‘Awful ones.’
‘Sorry about your face,’ I say to Freddie, who shrugs.
‘She’s worth a leathering from her brother,’ he says, gently taking Ellie’s hand. ‘We’re going to miss our flight if we don’t get a move on, though.’
‘You’re leaving now?’ Kat asks.
Ellie nods. ‘First stop is Barcelona. We got a last-minute flight.’
When they leave, Kat and I sag on the sofa, drained.
‘She’s right, isn’t she?’ Kat asks, threading her fingers into mine.
‘I do like the sound of fucking in every room.’
Kat smiles before snuggling into my shoulder. We sit there for a while, trying to relax into the idea that it's all done.
The list.
The well.
All of it.
Reggie manages to get his fluffy face into the bin bag, sending us chasing him as he runs around the flat with a takeaway box over his head.
For the first time in a long time, we laugh until we can’t breathe, trying to catch the ginger beast and free him.
Hamish joins in, licking the leftover Chow Mein from Reggie’s face, much to his disgust.
Capturing the pets, we lift them, and Kat pulls the four of us into a cuddle, snapping a selfie. We look… happy.
Maybe we can finally be happy.
The picture is going to be the first thing I put up in our new home. A reminder to keep moving forward, no matter what.