22
OUT OF BALANCE
HENRY
I vy’s screwing with me. I know it. She knows it. She knows I know it too. It’s grating and my patience is running out. Quickly. She doesn’t want to know what happens when it does.
We’re not in balance and we need to find our equilibrium.
Badly.
I thought she was over this. She was exceptional during Rowan’s visit and we’d talked about what happened. Ivy didn’t seem fazed and took it in her stride. I lavished praise on her. Worshipped her.
She always responds well to praise. Except this time. She moved away when it felt like we should get closer. She’s become wary. Nervous. That’s understandable. But what’s frankly unacceptable is the shitshow we’re becoming. She’s spent a week playing games and pushing her boundaries, testing how far she can go before I react.
I’ve held back for her sake.
But this is downright ridiculous.
We’ve been working through our issues. Like we’re some couple on a fucking reality show that passes for entertainment these days. I’d rather be in an arena, fighting lions or bears, than dealing with the shit she’s pulling. Admittedly, Ivy has a right to be upset. But she doesn’t have the right to use it as an excuse to get away with bullshit and this has got to end.
For her own good, as well as mine.
She kneels beneath me and she’s in the wrong position. Her eyes look up, questioning whether I’m going to respond. They’re fucking stunning and almost make me cave. Almost, but not quite. She’s weaponizing them against me and we’ve been waging this battle for too long.
“You’re misbehaving, pet.”
Her jaw ticks. “We agreed you wouldn’t use that.”
We fucking agreed she’d try and the backchat is the final straw. I need to enforce the boundaries without losing my shit or scaring her. It’s another test. She wants me to prove I’m in control. She needs me to assert my dominance without destroying her.
She’s in for a fucking shock if she doubts my abilities.
“We agreed you’d try, pet. We agreed you’d behave. You’ve done neither.”
Ivy pouts. I’d usually soften but not today.
“I’m trying.”
Very.
I frown. My foot edges forward and nudges her knee into position. She sighs, like it’s too much goddamn effort.
“Thank me. ”
She hesitates. She knows she’s pushed it and now she’s wondering what to do. Part of her wants to please me, and part of her wants to keep testing me. I understand. I really do. She needs to know she’s safe with me, no matter how far she goes, and the only thing holding her back is her fear.
“No.”
We’re dealing with this now.
I don’t like this but it’s for the best. Punishment doesn’t have to be brutal and it’s an effective training tool. I’ve held off for too long and now she’s leaving me no choice.
“I. BEG. YOUR. PARDON?”
She swallows. Thank the gods she has the decency to be nervous.
“I said no.”
The calm colors of her room contrast sharply with the emotions flowing through me. I’ve got to keep control, despite the outright defiance. She might have outmaneuvered Rowan, but this is a challenge I intend to meet.
“One of two things is going to happen now, pet. You can thank me—properly—and accept a lesser punishment. Or you can behave like a fucking brat and I will deal with you accordingly.”
She stares at my feet and bites her tongue.
No other pet would have this choice. They’d have been dragged by their hair until I strung them up. I’d lash them until their back bled and I’d drink their blood as it oozed down them, enjoying the exquisite taste of their pain.
This won’t be Ivy’s punishment.
But—fuck me—she’s pushing it.
What she wants is to know she’s safe with me. That no matter how far she pushes things or how bad things get, I won’t lose control or hurt her—beyond what she can endure.
“Choose, pet.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Choose or I will choose for you. Last chance, pet.”
She pouts.
Ivy’s made her decision and the toss of her head is her way of trying to prepare herself for what’s coming. This is going to be a test. For both of us.
“What do I expect?”
She huffs. “Effort and acceptance.”
I nod.
“You’re doing neither.”
Her mouth falls and her eyes snap up to mine. She genuinely thinks she’s doing at least one of them. That’s a surprise. I was sure she was pushing to test my control and check her safety. Maybe this is going to be another time Ivy surprises me.
“You aren’t trying, pet.”
“I am,” she replies and her lip quivers. “I really am. This isn’t fucking easy, Henry. You’re being unreasonable.”
I slide my finger under her chin and tip her head back further. The angle makes her strain and feel more vulnerable, forcing her to hold her balance while she waits for me.
“You’ve been pushing for days, pet. I’ve been patient. I’ve given you space. I’m not the one being unreasonable.”
“Nothing about this is reasonable,” she hisses. “I’m trying, but this is fucking insane. I need more time. I can’t do this.” Her eyes water as she looks away. “It’s too much. I don’t want this.”
I tense. My first instinct is to scream it doesn’t fucking matter what she thinks or wants because this is going to happen. She can fight as much as she wants, but this is what we’re meant to be and she needs to fucking accept it.
But my heart shudders and it’s begging me to listen. It’s whispering that she’s trying to tell me something, and we’d be better off if I was brave enough to listen.
It’s risky.
Ivy might realize how much power she has and that could make this worse. She’d fight harder and I’d have to be harsher to bring her back in line. We could spiral even further out of control and that’s dangerous. For her. For us. For me.
“What don’t you want?”
My tone is sharp and my words forced.
She looks away and the color drains from her face. She’s staring at the painting on her wall, hoping to find calm in the collage I spent a fortune on. Ivy’s mind is whirling as she tries to find her words, searching for a way to tell me what the fuck is wrong.
“I didn’t like it.”
She bursts into tears and avoids making eye contact with me.
“I hated it. They looked at me like I was a fucking object. A toy they couldn’t wait to play with.” She sobs a stuttered breath and threads her fingers together. “I tried so fucking hard for you and…”
She breaks.
Fuck.
Ivy isn’t pushing because she wants to test her boundaries. She knows exactly where they are. She’s after a different reaction. She wanted me to see her. To reach for her. To stop and pay attention to her bad behavior and recognize how hurt she is .
I’ve been cold when she needed warmth.
I’ve grown harder when she needed softness.
I’ve let her pull away when I needed to close the gap.
Ivy’s not unsure, she’s certain. She went further than she was ready for because I asked her to—needed her to—and it frightened her. She needs reassurance and kindness. She needs understanding unless I’m going to railroad over her feelings.
With any other pet, I would.
But not with her. Never with her.
Ivy’s my wife and I’m changing as much as she is. She’s made me different and it’s as clear as fucking daylight that I’ve got to do better. She deserves more and this mistake is mine. All mine. I’ve not communicated properly and it’s led to the rift between us.
She sobs and bats my hand away, collapsing and resigned to facing a punishment she doesn’t deserve. Perhaps she’s imagining I’ll return her to the dungeons. Maybe she thinks it’ll be even worse. She’s drifting on uncertain tides and they’re carrying her away from me.
“Ivy.”
My voice is a whisper in storm and it doesn’t silence her sobbing.
I’m not good at this. I’ve never tried to stop tears flowing before. I’ve enjoyed them and encouraged them. But not these. These are bitter and they’re full of pain I don’t want from her. For her.
“Ivy, look at me.”
She shakes her head and my heart demands I do more.
“Lea.”
Her eyes snap up and plead for me to help her.
“Sit with me. ”
Ivy’s brows knit together and she stares at me, uncertain. She didn’t expect this and she frets while I start relaxing.
“Come, lea. I promise to make it better.”
She huffs and walks over, stopping short of the sofa. Ivy’s not being defiant, she’s uncertain in the absence of clear instruction. Fuck, we’ve got to work on our communication. I’ve misinterpreted far too many things, leaving too much unsaid.
“Sit.” I pat my lap.
Her teeth roll over her lips and I’m going to devour them soon.
Ivy slides onto my lap, more hesitant than I’d like.
“Relax,” I say, massaging her shoulder. “I didn’t want those things to happen, lea. One day, you’ll be ready. For that and more, but not right now, and that’s okay. I’m so proud of you, Ivy. You were perfect. Fucking perfect.”
Her emerald eyes sparkle a little and her sobbing quietens.
“I am sorry, lea. It wasn’t my choice and I didn’t want it. I’m sorry you had to do something you weren’t ready for. Something that frightened you. I don’t want you to fear this, lea. Don’t fear what we are or what we’ll do.”
Ivy nods and her sobbing stops.
Thank fuck.
“You’re perfect. You’re mine—and I won’t let anyone take you from me. I won’t let us be parted.”
She bursts into tears and I’m lost. I don’t understand why she’s upset and a wave of confusion hits me, leaving me scrambling as I try to figure out how to bring her back.
Her arms wrap around my neck and she throws herself onto me, hard enough that she’d knock me backward if I were human. Her face presses into my shoulder and her fingers dig in, as she clings to me like I’m her salvation.
She’s home and when my arms wrap around her, I come home too.
We fit together perfectly.
She’s accepted me for who and what I am.
I’ve accepted her for who and what she is.
For all our flaws and faults, our strengths and talents.
“Tell me what’s wrong next time.” I’m whispering as her sobs quieten again. “Don’t push for a reaction. Talk to me, lea. I promise to listen. I can’t give you want you want or need if I don’t know what it is.”
Her head nods against me and I calm, reassured we’re not facing another fight. Ivy’s mine and we’re learning how to do this.
Together.
She stops crying and I pull her head off my shoulder. I sweep her hair back and tuck a few loose strands behind her ears. She watches me and I settle as her distress and anxiety eases.
“Promise me, lea.”
She nods.
“I need your words.” I pause. “Properly.”
Ivy raises her hand and runs it down my face. She traces my lips with her index finger and pulls my bottom lip down. I’m surprised she wants this now, but there’s not a fucking chance I’m going to let this opportunity pass by—and my fangs extend, taking care not to damage her delicate skin.
“Does it hurt if I touch them?”
“No,” I say. “Your words, Ivy. ”
“I promise, Master,” she sighs as bites her lips again. Her eyes widen and she stares at my teeth, transfixed. “Can I?” She waits. “Master?”
She looks at me, trying to work out what I want. It’s adorable. It’s cute. It’s more than enough to make me want to fuck her senseless. Her eyes widen as she realizes I’m making her specify exactly what she wants.
“Please may I touch them, Master?”
I smile, pleased we’re both learning. “Always, lea.”
Her fingers shake as they touch my teeth, and it sends a bolt of pleasure through my core. The excitement runs straight to my cock and it hardens instantly, pressing against her as her weight rides it.
Ivy’s touches become more confident and she relaxes, exploring my fangs for the first time. Finally, she understands my bite will never harm her and her pupils widen as she draws closer. This is her, accepting me—and her racing heart and soaring pheromones tell me she’s aroused.
She sighs and crashes her lips onto mine. It’s bold, sudden and fucking heaven. We haven’t kissed like this since I told her I’m a vampire and she’s been wary, afraid I might steal more than her breath.
I moan and take control, and she doesn’t fight me like the good girl she is. My tongue plays in her mouth and I take my time, claiming her as mine and occasionally drawing my fangs over her lips and sending her hurtling into ecstasy.