45
NEVER LET YOU GO
HENRY
I rage through the castle, irritated that yet again I’m chasing after Ivy. She’s become hard to find and it irks me. She’s my wife, my pet, my fucking Queen and this is my goddamn castle and it is taking far too fucking long.
“IVY.”
My voice reverberates through the hallways and rooms as I call her, railing against the echoes bouncing back. I need her and she’s missing. It’s an affront and we are going to have to talk about it. As soon as I find my goddamn wife and fuck some sense into her.
My wife is far from timid and she grows stronger every day. Her transformation was fraught and prolonged, partly of her own making. She refused to feed as often as she needed, and it made the agony last longer. What should have happened in days took weeks and her stubbornness cost her dearly. It may be that her father's nature was the only thing that saved her, and part of me is convinced that being half-vampire was what got her through this and every other ordeal.
I stayed with her through every moment, drying her tears and washing her broken body.
I hated myself for doing this to her.
I should have been stronger. And faster.
I never should have let her leave this goddamn castle and if I’d acted faster, more decisively, then Ivy would never have been in danger in the first fucking place. I should have ripped Marcus’s head off his fucking body before he ever hurt my wife.
Ivy misses her sister but is too afraid to reach for her. Ivy fears rejection and, for now at least, keeps Izzy at a distance. I listen to her cry for her sister and it breaks my heart, understanding Ivy’s need to protect her and sure we have time to repair any damage in their relationship. Ivy’s wails are loudest over Izzy and even my assurances that she’s well and taken care of do little to soothe my wife.
“IVY.”
She still doesn’t come and I close my eyes, narrowly avoiding losing my goddamn shit. It’s too early for her to be out of the castle and it reminds me of the days she’s lost and the ones she’ll spend locked inside, crying because she misses the light and the colors of the world. I see her, staring out the window at night, watching the moon as it lights the clouds and the stars as they dance through the darkness.
Ivy cries almost every day.
More than once.
I don’t shy away from it. Or away from her.
I did this to her and it’s as much my burden as it is hers.
Sometimes, she shuts herself in the bathroom and tries to hide her tears. I don’t know why Ivy does it. I feel her distress in our bond like a knife striking in my goddamn chest. I hear every fucking tear as it runs down her face and falls to the floor. Her sobs sound like songs of sorrow and songbirds weep as they join her chorus .
And then she’ll emerge from her haven as if whatever passed never happened. The perfect lines of her soft lips invariably curl into a smile that lights my life, and I feel like I’m the light that lights hers.
“IVY.”
She walks through the door and her hair flows behind her as she races toward me. Her eyes are bright and their emerald is as stunning as always. They’re beacons that call me home.
The little girl who almost killed me when she tried to die gives me back my life when she smiles and I sigh, forgetting my irritation in an instant.
“You called?”
I’m tempted to throw her onto the floor and fuck her senseless now. Her lips part as she pouts and they’d look fucking glorious, screaming my name as she comes. The coven ought to see me fuck my wife, and Ivy’s going to push her luck a little too far one day.
She curls her hair around her finger, and I melt, like a fucking lovesick teenager. I’m undeniably fucked and my wife knows she has me wrapped around her little fucking finger.
“I want to show you something, lea.”
Her breathing changes and she tries to hide a giggle as she breathes in. I fucking love the little noises she thinks she hides from me and there’s not a goddamn chance I’m going to tell her I hear every fucking one of them.
“You didn’t have to shout, Henry.”
Ivy rolls her eyes and I resist the urge to spank her until her ass matches the color of her collar. She might be Queen, but her manners need work and I’m beginning to think we’re going to have to revisit them.
Probably over my knee.
“I wouldn’t have to if you obeyed me, pet.”
Her jaw snaps shut and her lips twitch .
“You’ll like it.”
Ivy’s eyebrow arches and I marvel at the speed at which she’s learned that trick. The one where she renders me at her mercy without saying a single fucking word.
“Show me.” She pauses and if I had a beating heart, it would wait on her every word. “I’d love to see it.”
I sigh and offer her my hand, surprisingly relieved when she slides her fingers into mine. Her hand is still so tiny, still so fragile. It’s delicate and elegant and the ring she chose sits perfectly on her finger, just as her hand sits perfectly in mine.
She lets me pull her against me, enjoying the closeness as I remove the distance between us. Her body molds to mine, absorbing my hard lines in her soft curves and moaning quietly as my hand drops to her ass.
“I thought you were going to show me something,” she says, far too seductively for her own good.
“I thought you were going to behave, lea.”
My mouth crashes onto hers as my tongue demands her mouth obeys me. She lets me take control, meeting my needs as I play in her mouth, coaxing more of the sounds driving me fucking wild. She gasps as I pull back, biting my tongue before nipping her lips, rolling my mouth over hers, and I let our blood mix as we kiss again. It’s frenzied and all-consuming, honey and amber, chocolate and sin.
I taste her arousal and her memory of last night. Pleasure ripples through me as I experience the devastating orgasms I gave her and the heady arousal of being in my thrall. Ivy definitely had a good time, not that there was any doubt in my mind. Six orgasms do that to a girl and mine can have as many as she wants, provided she behaves.
Her hips grind into me and I lift her, wrapping her legs around my waist and carrying her through the castle. My castle. Our castle now. It’s a change I’m still adjusting to and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The castle is changing in other ways too .
We’ve had to renovate outbuildings and provide new accommodation for vampires from other covens, providing quarters for those intending to visit us. Rooms have been repurposed and redecorated, and there’s been constant building work. It’s been annoying as fuck, an unnecessary amount of noise and dust setting me on edge. Mostly because it might upset Ivy and she’s already dealing with enough shit.
Today’s surprise is one she doesn’t know about. She won’t be expecting this and Ryan, Matt and I have worked to keep it that way. This is hers and I want her to know the happiness it’ll bring her.
We’re still kissing when I pass the paintings I’ve had rehung and reach the bottom of a different staircase.
“You’ve gone wrong.”
I arch my eyebrow, annoyed my mate even thinks I could make such a fundamental mistake. The chances of me getting lost in my own goddamn castle are zero and she’s earned herself a spanking. A playful one. Unless she keeps making stupid errors.
Ivy shrieks as I haul her over my shoulder, bounding up the stairs while she protests. My hand connects with her ass and she screams louder, and I spank her again, taking full advantage of her unfortunate position.
“Put me down before…”
She stops as her feet connect with the ground and her head darts around before she stares at me in disbelief. Her eyes flick back to the entrance hall, decorated in a shade of pale she ought to like. Ivy steps away, into our new apartment's clean, soft entrance hall. She sighs contentedly as she stares up at the painting that used to hang in her bedroom and cost me a fucking fortune.
My muscles tense, uncertain if she’s happy. Ivy smiles and my perfect girl who carries my heart in her chest runs off with it, shrieking with delight as she explores our apartment. I exhale and make my way to our sitting room, listening to every gasp and cry, and every note sung in awe.
Ivy’s happy and it’s all that matters. She’s discovering a kitchen we don’t need and a dining room that can hold more guests than we’ll ever entertain. There are two offices, two sitting rooms, a drawing room, and enough bathrooms to lose herself in and she discovers the things we spent weeks making happen in a matter of seconds.
“Henry…”
Her voice is soft and I lean back on the sofa, relaxing as she comes to me. I nod and her eyes burn, but there’s a touch of sadness I don’t like.
“You didn’t have to do this.”
“Of course I did,” I grumble. “The least you could do is tell me you like it.”
She blushes and I want to devour the color as her cheeks turn pink. “It’s beautiful.” Her eyes catch the painting behind me. “Why is that here?”
I drum my fingers, pretending to be annoyed at such a ridiculous question. I knew Ivy wanted the painting moved before I tasted her blood and I hope she’ll find some peace in the tranquil waters and elegant lilies.
“You know why, lea.”
My wife sits next to me and plants a kiss on my cheek, uncertain how to say thank you. She’s adorable like this. Flustered. Breathless. Startled. So beautiful it hurts to look away.
Something’s wrong .
I know it. Ivy knows it. She’s going to have to learn I know it. Our bond makes it harder to hide things and we’ll get comfortable with some uncomfortable truths. I pull her against me and hope she’ll say something, hoping Ivy will take this step unprompted.
“When does it end?” she asks .
I glance down as she risks a quick look up.
“When do I get to see the sun again?”
My stomach knots itself, aware I’m about to hurt her. There are too many moments like this and my wife is about to sustain another injury I can’t protect her from. I’ve seen the longing looks at the boarded-up windows and noted her desperation to wander in the gardens or the woods. I lied to myself, promising myself it was because she was suffering as she turned—and now I must face this. For her. With her.
“It took me centuries, Ivy. It depends on you as well as your sire, and you were half-vampire. It would help if you would feed properly.”
I swallow, hating myself for wielding this blow. Her fire burns less brightly and the stars that light her heavens retreat into the shadows. My wife stifles a sob and I want to fix it. I need to fix it. Not for my sake. For hers. Ivy might not see the light of day, but she’s my sunrise and my sunset, my beginning and my end.
“If you’d like, I’ll bring you a picture,” I whisper, pulling a polaroid from my pocket. Its pinks and oranges fade into blues and purples, washing the photo with a palette almost as stunning as her. “Every sunset, every sunrise, lea. If it makes this easier for you. Even just a little.”
She nods and I feel her tears through the cotton of my top. I smell their salt as her fingers glide over the glossy photo, tracing the sunset she’s missed.
“I wouldn’t change it, Henry.”
My heart beats for the first time in a millennium, shocked in starting by a confession so startling it catches me off guard. She pulls away and stares up at me with eyes the color of a rose. Her irises match her collar, the one she hasn’t even asked to have removed. Even when she screamed and railed against the pain burning through her or the visions dragging her into despair.
I run my fingertips over its rubies and she smiles, both sad and happy.
“I mean it,” she says, determined to make me understand something I already know. “It wasn’t planned and it wasn’t perfect, but it’s right and I wouldn’t change a thing if I had to do it again. That includes everything with Izzy. You’re right, we have time and it doesn’t have to be fixed today.”
There’s her fire, there’s her fight.
Ivy’s alight and alive and she burns with the flames of a thousand suns. She was born to be a queen and she’s already taken to giving orders, commanding everyone around her. Matt and Ryan obey her without question, and the coven is calmer in her presence.
“Do you have any?” she asks, tensing. “Regrets?”
I shake my head.
“Ryan says you hate being King.”
I’m going to kill the fucker.
I’m going to track the asshole down and tear him limb from fucking limb for telling my wife the truth.
I gave him and Matt strict instructions not to tell Ivy, and the bastard has disobeyed me. It’s an affront and an insult I cannot let stand. It never would have happened before Ivy came along and I bet he melted at the sight of her fluttering eyelashes and caved like a pathetic weakling.
“I wasn’t meant to be a king, lea.”
She tilts her head. “I think you were, Henry. I think you hate the idea of it but love the reality. You were born to lead.”
I was born to serve an emperor who relied on me to command his armies. I’ve spent my lifetime ruling a coven, dictating who lives and dies, commanding their every action and reaction. My days were long and my nights longer, and the years passed slowly in the blink of an eye as the centuries merged.
“You’re good at it,” she says .
I am, but it’s not a natural talent. Not like this. It’s taken time to refine my skill and I’ve made many mistakes over the years. I can’t afford to make them now. Not now I have Ivy. Not when her life depends on mine.
I nod. She smiles. We agree to let this rest and move on to a different topic. One I pray isn’t as agonizing as the last and gives her some peace. Or joy. Or something keeping her content for a little while longer.
“Tell me about my father.”
I freeze, staring at the little girl who’s the center of my world and makes my galaxy orbit around her. Her pupils dilate as she waits, expectantly, hanging on my every word as if I’m going to change her universe. Her lips part and she stares, desperate for my words, sure they’ll soothe her soul and grant her the certainty she craves.
“He was Matt’s sire.”
Ivy pouts and dares to roll her eyes. “I know. Tell me something I don’t.”
My jaw tightens and I wonder what she wants.
“What did Matt tell you?”
My eyebrow arches and she leans forward, closing the distance between us.
“I haven’t asked him. I want you to tell me, Henry.” She runs her fingers down my face as she pulls herself onto my lap. “I want you to be the first to tell me.” Her lips brush mine and I melt, abandoning any pretense I’m in control. “I want you to be all my firsts.”
Ivy’s eyes plead for me to do this, begging me to tell her who and what she is. There’s so much for her to learn, so much more for her to understand. We’ve got all the time in the world to explore our emotions and our bond, pleasing and pleasuring each other as we give and take in equal measure. She’s everything to me as I am everything to her, and she needs me as much as I need her .
I’ll never let her go.
Never let her leave me.
Never let anyone take her from me.
The girl whose heart is mine and is the reason I exist stares up at me and there’s no doubt in her eyes, no uncertainty in her heart. Ivy manages to surprise me yet again and the girl who’s perfect for me reads my thoughts with unnerving accuracy as her soul tells me she feels the same about me.
She shifts.
Ivy's affect changes and the stillness I've found shatters for a moment before it transforms into a different peace. It's hot and furious, as cold as a winter morning with the endurance of a mountain blizzard in the dead of night. She's accepted all she is, choosing to fight a different battle as more and more primal urges rage through her. She’s become the thing she feared and the anxiety I barely recognized eases as my mate turns into my equal.
Her features elongate as her fangs descend, and she's a beautiful, graceful predator. Fierce and fearless, hardly restrained. She drags a claw down my neck and laps at the trickle of blood before drawing back.
“Show me, Master.”
She bites her wrist and excitement pours into me as Ivy allows herself to become everything she is. Magnificent. Elegant. Destructive and powerful. A force to be reckoned with.
Ivy brings her wrist to my mouth and I close my eyes, experiencing ecstasy as I drink her blood and absorb her memories, ignoring the pang of pain as her teeth pierce my skin. Our emotions flow between us as we feed from each other, enjoying all we are and will be as I lose myself in my wife—and my perfect mate loses herself in me.