42. Chapter 42
Chapter 42
Ard Tiarna Emrys of Breacadh an Lae, The Raven of the Dawn
I had tolerated this farce for too long. I had accepted every step of this bullshit dance with too much grace, and I was all out of grace to spare.
My palm slammed against the copper doors as I stalked my prey. He may be in bed, half mad with weakness and the stubborn venom coursing through his body, but he would hear me, and I would be done with this.
Cricket was avoiding me. I had not seen her in so long I was starting to forget what the heat of her skin burning up the air around me felt like. All I could feel, all I could focus on was the vacuum in the air when she was not next to me. Every hair on my body, every inch of my skin ached to feel the pulse of her heart pressing against the air around us. She could simply sit in an empty room with me, and I would be content at this point.
And her note had only solidified that that would not be changing any time soon.
I had given her time, had given her space. Whatever had happened down in the darkness, she had not told me the whole of it yet, and I could feel the strangeness on her the last time I saw her.
She felt like a contradiction in my arms again. The way her presence responded to the inherent magical currents all around us felt different. She felt both more solid than she had ever been before and more ephemeral. Once I had seen past the sorrow hanging about her like curtains on a window, the sense that, at any moment, she would evaporate into mist itself, had scared me. I had known only one other creature in all my long life that felt that way. And I had met him only once before he was murdered.
The door to the Ard Rí’s room was open a crack, and I heard voices mixed in heated debate. I didn’t care who it was. They could leave as quick as they could shut up.
I made no pretense of civility nor grace when I stormed into the room. It had changed since the last time I had been in this room speaking to this asshole about the same topic. The low bed of silk grass had been removed and a more traditional higher bed had been raised in its place. He had not yet gained his legs, but the hope was that, when he did, the elevated position would assist him in gaining strength back.
My eye focused on the pale, gaunt figure that was once the hale, hearty mighty hero of the Spring. And his harpy of a sister. Twin sets of eyes raised from their intimate moment to take me in, her aghast that I might have walked in on something and him bold as brass, uncaring as to whether I knew a damned thing.
So, Cricket was right. They were fucking. No Fae leaned that close to his sibling. No lover let a look like the one they had been sharing pass between their beloved and another go unchallenged.
I didn’t give a shit, though. Who either of them fucked was not my concern.
“Oh, good. You’re both here.”
The rich timber of my voice held the sabers I felt within me rattling.
“My lov—” The Oaken Rose started, putting on the air of the devoted and besotted fiancée she was supposed to be.
“Save it,” I barked back at her.
“Raven, you will show my sister the respect demanded of you as her betrothed while in my presence. ”
His voice had lost its bite, its power. He was withering away day by day, like a rotted bloom on a vine.
“I will show her the respect of a Banfhlaith of the court and nothing more.” I crossed my arm over my chest, resting my fingers below my shoulder, and bowed slightly to her. “Your Royal Highness.”
She smiled at me, the warmth and gentleness of it all false. I had known her since she was born, having celebrated her nameday feast with her brother. I had known when we were betrothed that she was calculating, devious, and manipulative. It wasn’t until now that I truly understood how deeply that barb had sunk into her and claimed her entire being. She wielded her beauty as a knight wielding a morningstar. It may not kill you at the first blow, but it would disorient and disarm you surely enough for her to sink a blade between your ribs nonetheless.
“I was telling my brother that we have been so fruitful in our governing of his kingdom while he was abed. And we were discussing whether seeing a royal wedding would benefit the Fae of the kingdom. It has been ages since any of the crowned heads of the courts were married. It would be a nice distraction for the populace to see their crowns held aloft again.”
She was using the same tone I had once used to coax a skittish kitten out of a stable stall. It grated on my nerves and set my jaw to ticking when she slid her hand into the crook of my elbow.
“I’m sure The Lady Sapphire Speaker will be most pleased to hear that her betrothed will finally make an honest Fae of her and bed her properly and with purpose instead of dallying with her and dangling the crown before her.”
I knew they weren’t talking about his wedding. One thing I knew about Daróg was that he would not marry that girl in this lifetime or the next. She was but a tool for him to use and twist. I had watched over the years as he sculpted her into the perfect puppet. I didn’t know exactly why, but I knew that he had not pulled her from that rock crevice and raised her as a queen in the making out of the kindness of his heart .
The twinkle of Oaken Rose’s laughter as she leaned into me felt like a rasp against an open wound. “Oh, dear heart! No! Not their wedding. Our dearest Majesty could not marry The Lady Sapphire Speaker in his current state. What Ard Rí would have the memory of his only wedding day bound to the memory of his weakness? No, silly, our wedding.”
I turned burning, cold eyes on her and gently pried each of her fingers from my flesh as I spoke. “You are mistaken, my Lady Oaken Rose. This . . . arrangement is nothing more than a stop gap in time. I will never marry you, and you will never marry me. We have understood that for decades. It was a simple peace between us. Let us not complicate it further.”
“You are too humble, dearest husband-to-be. We were but torn apart by a simple mistake. Now that my brother has forgiven you, we can, once again, be reunited as we were always meant to be.” She didn’t let her fingers fall away easily and, instead, let them find their way to my hip. “And the pleasures we once reveled in can once again be ours. I know you must remember those heated nights as fondly as I remember them.”
I wanted to gag. I wanted to retch and fling her bodily from me. I did remember those nights. I recalled them like one remembers a fever. They rampaged through my mind and blinked in and out of existence. I never remembered how the passionate slamming of our flesh coming together started nor how it ended. Between the wine, the mistletoe, and the rhododendron-infused mad honey, that all ate away at my mind, all I recollected were flashes of her lips on mine. My lips on hers. The taste of her sweat sitting on my tongue. The taste of her pleasure coating my face. The sound of my hips slamming into her. The feeling of her clawing my skin and demanding more of me. And the sick regret that sat in the cold bed in the morning with me.
“Relieve your intended of his embarrassment, sister mine. You know as well as I do that he has grown reclusive with his affections of late. All will be well. We will speak more on the arrangements you propose at a later time. Let me confer with him and sort out the details. All will be well. ”
He was all but dismissing a child, and I hated the way she bowed her head and made to back out of the room.
I liked it when Cricket bowed and bent for me. I liked the way it felt when she begged for my savage attentions. I liked the way she became pliant and obedient when her pleasure rode her.
I did not like it on The Oaken Rose. Cricket was not weak nor obedient. She was a lioness. And I knew she yielded to me because she wanted to, not because she had no other choice. If she wished it, she could destroy me. She had proved it already. Even if her form had been lacking, her brutality had not. When she gifted me with her passions, it was a true gift because she could so easily do otherwise. The Oaken Rose had no such fire, as she was a rabbit compared to my Cricket.
“No, stay. You will want to hear what I have to say as well.” Daróg and his sister shared a glance before looking up to me. “Your Majesty, we spoke of this arrangement between us, and I agreed at the time. However, the circumstances have changed, and the arrangement has become more odious than I expected it to be. I would be relieved of this duty.”
The Oaken Rose gave a small squeal of pained shock and covered her mouth as false tears gathered at her lashes. Daróg adjusted in the bed and prepared himself for war. And war, he would have. I would walk out of this room clear of the two of them or . . . I hadn’t even thought of the or else. I should have prepared something. I couldn’t think clearly when all my being was focused so hard on the lack of her .
“We discussed this Raven of the Dawn. The betrothal will remain in place until I retake the throne.”
“Unless you intend for me to hoist your ass from that bed and walk you up to the palace to sit you upon it this very night, you will alter the agreement.”
“Have I no say in this?” she caterwauled behind me.
“No,” we said in unison.
I could feel her sulking behind me, and I ignored it as Daróg narrowed his eyes on me.
“I will not yield on this. ”
“Nor will I. So, prepare to be carried, my lord, because I will be free of this arrangement this evening. I will have no more of this folly. I excused her poor behavior when we were children. I excused the schemes and the lies. I even excused away the pawing at me during sacred events, but I can tolerate this no more.” I settled my weight on the balls of my feet, preparing my body to lift him from the bed and fight him the entire way up to the palace.
“Is that so? You excused all of that? You were more than happy to fuck her at every chance you could and let your magic twine with hers at the risk of breeding before the union was finally sanctified.”
Was it jealousy or bitterness that was steeling his words and eyes?
“I may have. I have no memory of that.”
“Convenient.” He slung back at me, and I lost the fight not to flex my hands into fists. I could easily crush him in this state.
“How could you not remember, my Raven? The way you rode me and whispered all the names of the children you wished to plant in my womb?” I did not resist the urge to strike when her hand slithered up my back.
She had never been a worthy combatant. She could not handle my brutality even when we were younger. When my massive hand wrapped around her dainty, pale throat, she did not press into it the way Cricket had. She did not meet me steel for steel as I walked her back through the open door. “My lady, you will keep your hands to yourself. If you touch me again, you will feel my ire in full. I do not wish you to touch me now nor ever again. I am not yours. I will never be yours.”
Something venomous and sharp flashed in her eyes as her simpering began, and I dropped her on her velvet-covered ass, stepped back, and slammed the door in her face. Turning on her brother, I stalked him down. “Relieve me of this heinous duty.”
He said nothing until I reached him. Only when I was nearly tucking my hands under him did he gingerly place a small wooden box before him and push it toward me.
“Gifts will not change the course of this night, Daróg,” I snapped, snatching the edge of his dressing gown and tugging him toward me .
“Open it.”
“I said I don’t want your fucking gifts!”
“I assure you, you want this one.”
The chill and slice of his words stopped me cold, and I looked between him and the box. Dread pooled thick and heavy in my stomach as I took it. It felt nearly empty. But the creak of the hinge was a weighted chime nonetheless.
Within, a simple tattered, soiled gold-and-black ribbon was coiled neatly on a pillow of blue velvet. It was almost identical to the one I had tied into Cricket’s hair.
“I told you that you will marry my sister. It is only right that a sister for a sister is the proper exchange. This ribbon was taken from her head two days past. She is safe and being cared for on your ancestral lands. One of my agents has liberated her and set her up in the village outside the walls of Breacadh an Lae. When you marry my sister, for you will still marry her, she will remain here at court. You will return to the home of your court with my blessing and your honor returned to you and your household. You will rebuild it and make it a fine house again. And there you may tend to your sister and any relations that return. You will return here once a year at the festival of the Well and breed my sister until such time as she believes she has had enough children by you. Only then will you be relieved of your duty to her as her husband. You will do this. And I will hear no more bemoaning of your lot. I have yielded to your moods enough on this matter.”
The threat need not be voiced. Do this, agree to this, or he would kill my sister and any of the many surviving relations that I might have whom he has ferreted away somewhere as insurance.
“And between now and the wedding?”
“I will vex you no longer. You need not come to see me. You need not attend to me at all. Between now and the wedding, you are free to do as you please outside of the duties of ruling the realm with my sister. You may fuck or romance whomever you wish . . . in private. Do not bring humiliation to my sister.”
I snorted. Me, bring humiliation? He was the one fucking her, not me .
“And Cricket? What of her fate?”
“Truly Emrys? I offer you your court, your honor, and your family back, and you ask me of a fucking daoire?” He rolled his eyes and leaned back into his pillows. “There is nothing to argue about. She is my daoire. She is my property. Your obsession with her is unsettling. She’s just a fucking human.”
I was starting to doubt that every day. No human could be as fierce as my Cricket.
“I will have her, too.”
He watched me for a long time.
I could see the wheels turning in his head as he thought through the myriad of responses, of reposts he could execute to parry my very clear demand.
“I will consider it. I do not wish to be at odds with you any longer, Emrys. Our hearts were once one beat. I would have peace between us if I can no longer have your love to warm me at night. I will settle for that. Why are you so obsessed with this daoire? You never showed interest in humans before her.”
There were many things that I would or could say to that, but I would never be foolish enough to let him, of all Fae, know the exact reason why I was obsessed with her. It was more than obsession. It was so much more than that.
“There is something . . . fascinating about her.”
“Then, sate yourself on her. You have my leave until the wedding. But never forget, Emrys. She is mine. I will never release her. I will never give her to you. And if you displease me or try to take her with you to Breacadh an Lae, I will execute Spideog before you can even reach her. I need not give the order. I need only stop giving the order for her not to be killed. Remember that in these coming months. Now, leave me.”
And there it was. Once again, I was wedged firmly between a blade and an ax. I could liberate my Cricket and murder my sister. Or I could save my sister and doom Cricket and myself, to a brand of misery that would never end .
I needed to retreat. I needed to take what was on offer like a good boy and reconvene with Sorrow and the Bandrui to find our next move. Whether they liked it or no, they would help me free her. Or I would topple all of our well-laid plans.