Chapter 21
We waited a few minutes to make sure Eleanor had indeed left and wouldn’t catch me outside the suite. Nathanial wasn’t surprised at the condition of my face or Shade’s presence when we exited the room.
“Miss, what can I do for you?”
“I’d like to go to the library.”
The young soldier nodded once and led the way through the castle halls.
The large double doors marking the entrance to the library rivaled the ones at the front of the castle.
Though this timber was clearly older, likely installed when the castle was built centuries ago.
I paused just inside, inhaling the scent of paper and dust as I waited for my eyes to adjust.
The library was dark. The few lamps lining the walls and aisles did little to light the room.
It was impossible to see the walls beyond the rows of shelves, each stack placed between towering stone pillars impeccably carved with curling patterns.
I could get lost in such a room. There were more books than I had ever seen in one place.
Even the temple of Vanimalis I visited as a child couldn’t hold a candle it.
Several wooden tables were set up in a semicircle to the right. They were empty, save for one whose occupant was hunched over a yellowed scroll, piles of ancient tomes surrounding him.
“Who have you brought with you today, Nate?”
It was clear the sole occupant of the room had spoken despite not looking up from his desk. How he knew it was Nathanial was anyone’s guess.
My guard bowed his head toward the man. “This is Miss Adelia Masters, Keeper.”
The man, Keeper, raised his head at last, and a face heavily lined with deep creases met mine. Wise eyes assessed first me, then Shade, whose shimmering smoke swirled in constant movement along his exposed skin.
Keeper’s gaze met mine again. “What is it you’ve come to borrow, Miss Masters?”
I hesitated, not entirely having thought this through, as I na?vely hadn’t considered someone being here.
“Am I allowed to look around? For a book?”
The creases in Keeper’s brows deepened, then he swept his arm to encompass the floor-to-ceiling shelves laden with books behind him. “We should have something you will enjoy.”
Accepting this as permission, I headed toward the closest aisle between the towering shelves, Keeper’s penetrating stare unnerving me. Shade was at my side, but when the heavy footsteps of my guard followed, the ancient man spoke, halting them.
“There is nowhere she can go within the stacks, Nate, and I wish to hear of your grandmother.”
When I glanced over my shoulder, Nathanial was frozen halfway to me, and his gaze flicked between Shade and Keeper before he sighed and took a seat beside the old man. Both sets of eyes followed us as we disappeared between the shelves.
“Either Keeper doesn’t know about the tunnel or is confident we won’t find it,” I whispered to Shade once we had put a few stacks between us.
“It’s likely the second option, he seems like the type to find hidden passageways.”
“And what about you? Are you the type?”
He smirked, trailing his fingers down my arm and tangling them with my own. “I’ve been known to cause some mischief in my youth.”
Sparks danced along my skin, lighting a fire in my chest that quickly moved south. “Well, since you’re the expert, what should we look for?”
“Every door needs a handle, even invisible ones. Likely in the form of a book or lantern, even a false wall, something that can be moved to trigger its opening.”
I searched our surroundings, the shelving reached the tall ceiling. If there were books at the top, I couldn’t tell from this height. Long iron candelabra protruded from the timber, the candles replaced by more modern lanterns.
I tugged on one, but it didn’t budge. “It will take ages to check every shelf.”
“We’ll start with the more obvious places, along the wall would have been easier to build than the middle of the room.”
A soft-yellow glow illuminated the end of the aisle opposite the way we came.
We followed it until we reached the room’s edge.
Small windows framed by detailed stone arches dotted the wall.
Sunlight streamed through them, creating small pockets of light across the dust-covered floor.
Shade paused before them, closing his eyes for a moment, his smile soft as the rays settled along his face.
Gods, I wanted to kiss him again. Feel his mouth on mine. Feel his hair, his skin under my fingers.
The heat his earlier touch elicited sparked wildly.
Fuck. I needed a distraction. “Tell me something about you.”
His eyes met mine, and his beautiful smile broadened, doing nothing to curb the fire of want. “What is it you want to know?”
“How did you come to be in the lamp?”
The light in his eyes dimmed, and I cursed myself. He was as haunted by his past as I was. His silence dragged and my heart sunk. He wasn’t going to answer me.
“I made an impossible bargain and lost everything in the process.” His voice was thick with emotion, the pain in his eyes more than clear, and my chest burned.
I knew he had a life before the lamp, but hadn’t truly considered what that meant.
That he had loved ones, a family, people he was willing to bargain for.
I moved to the nearest shelf, taking out a book and flipping through the pages.
“Did you have someone before? A … a woman?” Jealousy soaked my veins, hot and thick, seeping into my voice. Even if he did, she would be long gone, but that didn’t stop the irrational emotion flooding me.
He didn’t reply immediately, and when I met his gaze again, there was clear amusement in his expression, a smirk tugging the corner of his mouth. “Are you jealous, Adelia?”
Gods, the way he said my name.
“No.” My reply was far too fast and defensive to be taken as anything but a lie. I returned the book to its place on the shelf, and Shade’s smirk only widened.
“Green looks good on you,” he teased, and if my body wasn’t still so weak, I would punch him. “There were women in my past, yes, but never anything serious.”
I faced the wall to hide my pleased smile, running my hands along the stone in search of something to indicate a door. Shade joined me, and we followed the wall, occasionally pulling books from the shelves or tugging at lanterns sporadically lining the wall.
“What happens after the wishes are granted?” I asked after several minutes had passed.
He returned the books to the shelf he had been inspecting before he spoke. “My purpose is complete and I shall return to the lamp again.”
I stopped, turning my full body to face him. “Forever?”
I couldn’t help the clear agony in my voice at the truth. After what he had revealed to me about his existence inside the lamp, I couldn’t fathom him returning to it.
Patterned fingers reached for my face, cupping my cheeks. There was a deep pain in the swirling silver staring back at me, one I longed to heal. “Do not worry for me, Adelia. This is the path my life has taken.”
“Would you do it different? If you could do it all over again, would you do things differently?” I asked with bated breath, searching his face for something. Not that I really understood what.
“No.” His gaze darkened, so much unspoken between us. “No, I wouldn’t.”
There was an intensity in his words I didn’t quite understand, but the look in his eyes made me think it had nothing to do with deal he made.
We returned to the library several times over the following days.
I continued to learn about Shade as he revealed more of his life before the lamp, and he helped me when panic threatened to take hold.
Watching over me as I slept but never touching me more than holding my hand or giving me a gentle kiss on the forehead.
Whenever our conversations grew intimate, I retreated.
Thankfully, Shade didn’t question me. I think if he had, my resolve might have snapped.
Despite the way my body unequivocally craved it, it wouldn’t end well, for any of us.
In all our search missions, we didn’t come close to finding a secret passageway or invisible door. The room was so vast it would take some time to search it all, and we hadn’t even started in the garden.
Five days after our arrival in Prallues, I heard from the king by way of a letter. He demanded my attendance to a formal meal, to be attended without Shade, who he specifically ordered to return to the lamp.
“Are you sure you’re ready, Adelia? I can tell the king you’re still sick.” We were in front of the extravagant dresser within the bedchambers, and I caught Wista’s eye as she twisted my hair into an elegant knot atop my head, the near-black strands shining after so many days of being washed.
“I have to face him at some point, it may as well be now.” My bruises had lightened enough to be coverable by powder, the discoloration easily passed off as caused by my recent bout of illness. Wista’s tea sped up the healing process tremendously. Without it, I would surely still be bedridden.
It had also been too long since I’d seen Eleanor, and I was beyond antsy. She had checked on me again several times, and I’d passed her a few notes through Wista, but I needed to see her with my own eyes. Hold her close and know for certain she was okay.
She’d kept her promise and hadn’t entered the city without me, her daily classes and wanderings with Harkin keeping her occupied.
“Who will be there?” I asked Wista. I wanted to be prepared, though I didn’t think I could ever be prepared enough to see the king again. Other than the letter demanding my attendance at this meal, I hadn’t heard from him since he left me bleeding on the floor.
“The lords who accompanied us from Ferveem Forest and several of the generals.”