Chapter 22
We walked the halls in silence, which were unfamiliar since last time I walked them I’d been in a daze. It was just as disorientating as the first time, the castle a maze of turns I didn’t think I would ever be able to navigate alone, no matter how often I walked them.
The halls had been empty until we turned the next corner, where two of the palace guards stood either side of a large set of timber doors, just as they had outside Terym’s tent in the camp. My chest tightened at a sight so similar, and I froze.
Terym would be behind those doors.
My heart rate increased, pulse thumping so loudly even Wista’s steps couldn’t be heard anymore.
Icy-blue eyes flashed before me.
I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t see him again.
My breaths shortened into pants, and I clutched my throat, like I could force oxygen in through my skin.
Wista glanced over her shoulder, my darkening vision framing her as she noticed I no longer followed.
Brown eyes widened, and she rushed to me, gripping my elbow and pulling me into a small alcove along the wall.
“Deep breaths, Adelia. Like me, watch.” She took an exaggerated breath, held it for a few seconds, then released. She repeated the exercise, gesturing for me to copy her.
I took a deep breath, the much-needed oxygen offering my lungs relief. I copied Wista’s movements. A breath in, a breath out.
In. Out. Repeat.
My heart rate slowed, and the pounding in my ears lessened.
“That’s it,” she coaxed, rubbing my arms. “You can do this, Adelia. For Eleanor.”
Her name centered me, allowing me to focus.
Wista was right, I had to do this for her. I couldn’t fall into a spiral before I even saw the king. I had to succeed in my deceit; show him I’d adhere to his demands. I needed to be a blank slate. Shut out all emotion, like Shade was so good at doing.
I was all Eleanor had left, the only one who would look out for her. I needed to be stronger. For her.
“F-for Eleanor,” I said, my voice shaky after the attack. Wista’s eyes searched mine, and after finding what she was looking for, she gave my hands a comforting squeeze.
“Alright, Adelia. Let’s go.”
We made it to the doors without further incident, and when Wista pushed them open, I paused at the threshold. Like everything else in the castle, the deep-blue room was luxurious and extravagant, gold trimming covered the walls, and the ceilings were decorated with black iron chandeliers.
The long table running the length of the room was already filled with people, some I didn’t recognize, others I did. Terym hadn’t arrived yet, the realization sending a small trickle of relief through me.
“Lia! Over here.” Eleanor’s voice could be heard over the rumbling of the table, and eyes followed me as I hurried to my sister. She was practically jumping in excitement, and I couldn’t help but return the sentiment when I drew her into my arms, squeezing tight despite the ache in my ribs.
“I missed you too, Lia,” she whispered with a light giggle. When I finally released her, we gave each other a thorough once over. “How are you feeling?”
Concern furrowed her brow when she noticed the pallor of my face, and guilt filtered like hot acid into my gut. I didn’t want to worry her, but better she believed I was sick than the truth.
I sent her what I hoped was a reassuring smile and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “I’m much better.”
We took our seats, and Harkin leaned over Eleanor to flash a boyish grin my way. “Good to see you, Miss Adelia. Ellie was ready to kick your door down if you didn’t show up tonight.”
Ellie.
Unexpected pain lanced my chest at the nickname. I hadn’t heard it, hadn’t used it since our parents were alive.
Growing up, Eleanor had always been Ellie, and I had been Lia.
To each other, to our parents. To everyone.
After they died, I couldn’t stomach hearing either name aloud, so when we moved to Toreshire, I insisted on my full name, which didn’t send me flying back into painful memories.
Even if Eleanor hadn’t stopped calling me Lia, I hadn’t called her Ellie again.
I just … couldn’t.
“I was not,” she huffed, slapping Harkin lightly on the arm. “I was just going to wait outside until she let me in. Sleeping on the floor if I had to.”
Harkin smirked, then winked as he said, “I would have kept you company.”
Eleanor exaggerated an eye roll, her cheeks slightly pink. “Thank the Gods Lia left her suite, then.”
Everything about the interaction spoke to how close they had grown while I was hidden away.
I didn’t like it.
The timber doors opened, and Terym strode in, silencing the entire room with his presence, the navy tunic he wore the perfect complement to my gown.
Everyone stood on his entrance, and when he approached, the smile he sent my way hid the menace in his eyes, but it was still there, lingering under the surface.
That smile was the one he used just before he struck me. It was the same smile he’d donned every time we spoke, from the moment we’d met.
How had I been so blind? How did I not notice what simmered beneath warm smiles and gentle words?
I believed the glamour then, but my eyes were wide open now that I had experienced his true nature. I could sense the cruelty lurking beneath, ready to strike at a moment’s notice.
Everyone waited quietly for the king to reach his chair, the empty one beside mine at the head of the long table. Only at his nod did we all sit again.
He was too close.
My nerves were in overdrive, panic surging as I tried my best to push it down. Eleanor. Think of Eleanor. I didn’t look his way, but his eyes were on me, burning into my skin and leaving pulsing blisters in their wake.
Breathe. Just breathe.
I repeated the mantra over and over again as we waited for the king to speak.
“Let us eat and celebrate!” Terym boomed, and the room flooded with servants. Dishes were placed on the table, a wide array of meats and vegetables and other dishes, the mouthwatering scents wafting from them did nothing but churn nausea in my stomach. I wouldn’t enjoy this meal.
Noise rose, cutlery scraped plates, and merriment began. Echoing laughs and high giggles had me jumping out of my skin. With Eleanor occupied by conversation with Harkin, I had nothing to focus on but the proximity of the king to my right.
Too close.
I picked at the food on my plate, moving it around to make it seem like I was eating, and gathering the courage to ask what I wanted from him.
Terym’s hand brushed mine, and my breath froze in my throat. Phantom pains assaulted me, those cold eyes staring down as he straightened his jacket. He leaned in, his hot, bitter breath brushed my neck, and spots danced before my eyes.
I couldn’t breathe.
My eyes darted around the room, searching for a way out. I caught Wista’s gaze, where she lined the wall with other personal servants. She raised her hand slightly, then pushed it down, recreating the rhythm she used when I lost it in the hall.
Follow it.
I matched my breathing to her movements.
In. Out. In. Out.
My mind had almost cleared when Terym spoke. “Are you feeling better, my dear?”
I couldn’t stop my flinch. Spoken too close, the loud words reverberated in my eardrums. If Terym intended to capture the rooms attention, it worked. Talking ceased, and everyone stopped to watch our interaction.
I turned to face him, those cold blue eyes bore into mine, then they flicked ever so slightly to Eleanor at my side, the warning clear. Play along, or she would pay the price. I swallowed back the bile surging at his implication. Play the game.
“Yes, my king.” I tried to smile, but I’m sure it was something closer to a grimace.
He hummed lightly, then addressed the room. “As many of you know, we have come together today to celebrate a joyous occasion. My dear Adelia has graciously agreed to be my wife.”
Eleanor’s gasp was drowned out by polite applause and boomed congratulations. I couldn’t look at her, couldn’t bear to face the confusion and disappointment surely splayed across her face.
“Unfortunately, we had to delay the announcement due to my dear betrothed falling ill after our long journey. Such is the way of fragile females.” Chuckles rose around us, and Terym rested his hand on my shoulder.
My muscles spasmed under the tight grip.
I blinked rapidly through the pain, determined not to show how much it hurt as I willed the moisture rising in my eyes away.
I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction.
“Now she is feeling better, we will be wed within the month, then work tirelessly to give you the heir you all crave.” His words were met with snickers from the men at the table, and Terym’s lip curled into a salacious grin. He enjoyed my mortification, the thought of forcing himself on me.
Anger, hot and curling roiled through me, and I pressed my lips into a thin line when the sudden urge to explode on the king consumed me.
I couldn’t risk an outburst in front of so many people, but Gods, would it be satisfying to lash the king with harsh words, allow every injustice and sacrifice I endured to bubble over and consume the people laughing at my torment.
With Terym’s announcement over, talk moved to the war.
Once everyone’s attention diverted, Eleanor pinched my arm, forcing me to finally face her.
The question in her eyes clear, but what could I tell her?
Certainly not the truth. She would be suspicious of my motives since she knew me better than anyone, knew I didn’t want to get married, though not the real reason.
Every time I’d considered taking that step, an insistent tug in my chest had pulled me back. Besides, a husband was a distraction I couldn’t afford, with my promise hanging over my head.
“Engaged?” she hissed, and my eyes flicked to the king, who, thankfully, was still in deep discussion with General Lenek. We couldn’t have this conversation with an audience.