Chapter 30
Ineeded to tell her the truth; I’d told myself I would. Now that she was here, I couldn’t find the words. My instincts demanded I shelter her, play it down and pretend everything was fine.
Nothing was fine.
It would only cause more harm. She needed to understand the dangers we all faced by being here, in this castle.
Even if I would always stand in front of her and protect her, she needed to be careful.
My open defiance to the king would have lasting effects, and we had to get out before the worst happened.
“Please, Lia,” she whispered, cheeks wet. The look in her eyes so similar to our mother’s I couldn’t bear it.
Then I told her.
Starting from when we arrived at the castle and what truly happened to keep me locked away for a week. The reason I had agreed to the proposal, what would happen if I didn’t go through with it, how we had searched for an escape route, only to find it blocked.
When I reached the events of the wedding night, my throat seized. It was all too fresh—I didn’t want to relive it.
I couldn’t.
Noticing my struggle, Wista stepped closer. “Perhaps that’s enough for now.”
“No, tell me. Why do you look like this now? You married him, why hurt you again?” Eleanor demanded. She had remained quiet for most of my story, but simmering determination shone in her eyes. She wouldn’t rest until she had all the information.
“I can’t.” The words were barely above a whisper, my chest tightening at the thought of saying it aloud.
Having it all playing on a loop inside my mind was bad enough, I didn’t think I could voice it for everyone to hear.
Not even Shade knew it all, had only caught the end of it.
I didn’t want anyone else to experience what I had, even if only through words.
“Lia, I can’t bear it, I can’t help if I don’t know.” She hadn’t moved since I began my story, her hands gripping mine squeezed again. “What if Wista told me? Would that be alright?”
She spoke as if to a child. Had I become so fragile I needed such caution? My stomach soured at the notion. I was eldest, it was my job to be stronger, to protect.
Still, I couldn’t say the words. I caught Wista’s eye, silently giving her permission to tell her. She would be considerate and wouldn’t go into detail.
“The king—” She took a deep breath before continuing. “He forced himself on her. That’s all you need to know.”
I closed my eyes, refusing to see what reflected in Eleanor’s. Hot tears soaked my cheeks, rolling endlessly.
Flashbacks assaulted me.
The searing pain of his intrusion. His hands around my throat. My skin chafing against the soft rug as he rutted.
The attack held me in its clutches.
I choked on gasped breaths, eyes flying open.
Hovering faces spun around the room. The lilac and woodsy purloe scent rolled in like a flood, but before Shade or Wista could move to comfort me, Eleanor was there.
She pulled me into her arms, and I sank into her hold, dark curls tickling my cheek when I buried my face into her neck.
For the first time in my life, I lost myself in front of my little sister, broke entirely in her arms. She cocooned me in her warmth and strawberry scent.
I had always been the strong one, the one to provide comfort and safety, always putting her above my own wants and needs to ensure she was happy.
She held me as I fell apart in a million different ways, the way I’d yearned for since our parents died, since I had been burdened with responsibility.
No one said a word, and I expelled every hurt from my body in a deluge of tears and chest-racking sobs. It was cathartic, and the weight always resting on my shoulders, lifted slightly.
Once my sobs had reduced to light sniffles, Eleanor spoke. “You need to get out, take Shade and make a wish.”
I pulled back to face her. “I won’t leave without you.”
Her lips pursed, but she didn’t argue, she knew it was the one thing I wouldn’t budge on. “Then we need a plan, I’ll do anything but stand by and watch him hurt you again.”
Her voice held strength, that same determination she always had when she set her mind to something.
I insisted she was too soft and kind for the truth of this world, but that strength, it gave me hope she would survive the truth and her fate.
Everything about the set of her jaw and fire in her eyes reminiscent of a true leader.
The truth curled around my tongue, ready to give her the reason I endured so much to protect her. I stopped the words at the last minute. She had already received so many revelations today, it wouldn’t be fair to impart the biggest one of all.
Not today—but maybe soon?
“He won’t let me go, not while he still has two wishes to make,” I said, throat raw from sobbing.
Eleanor scoffed. “They aren’t his wishes, they’re yours.”
“Agreed,” Shade rumbled, who had been silent during my breakdown. He stalked toward us and lifted me from Eleanor’s lap, then sat beside her with me in his. Arms circled me protectively, and he traced patterns on my thigh. I settled against him, basking in his protective touch.
Eleanor raised a brow at me, a sly smile tugging at her lips, but didn’t comment, which I was grateful for. Shade and I hadn’t spoken about what this was, so I didn’t know what I would tell my sister when she eventually asked.
“What about the tunnel in the library? Maybe it won’t be blocked,” Eleanor suggested, jumping to her feet and pacing the room.
“We’ve searched the entire room and haven’t found anything,” I said, and if the other way had been blocked, there was a high probability this one would be too.
“Terym said we were going back to Ferveem Forest. I think our best bet is to plan a way to escape on the road. It will be harder to keep us separated, if we can be together while the sun is at its highest peak, Shade can take us away.”
“Where would we go?” Eleanor asked the question I had been mulling over since we arrived in Prallues.
Our mother’s letter said to travel to Hutteran, to search for a man named Cutler, but it could be just as dangerous as Prallues with Lord Kheal residing in the city.
Terym would be after us, would enlist the entire kingdom to get his wishes back.
Our safest bet would be to travel as far away as possible.
“To Mortremon,” I whispered, still wary to say the name of the opposing kingdom aloud.
Eleanor’s eyes bugged out, but there was definitely a spark of excitement in them. “How would we cross the border?”
“I may have a way, Adelia. If I can offer a suggestion?” Wista said, stepping up to us and leaning close. I nodded at her to continue.
“We could reach out to King Siro, I have a way to contact him, through those … connections I told you about.”
Of course, she was from Mortremon, had even worked in Siro’s castle, she would have a way to get a letter to him.
Would Siro be just as bad as Terym? There was no way to know for sure, but if he could assist us across the border, we could hide within his kingdom. He wouldn’t have to know where we were or who Eleanor was. Once there, I could tell her the truth.
I looked at my sister, silently asking what she thought, and she shrugged. “It’s as good a plan as any.”
My eyes met Shade’s next, whose thumb rubbed circles on the back of my hand. “I will be with you wherever you go, Adelia. It is your decision alone.”
His confidence and support bolstered me, and I straightened my spine. “Right. We’ll contact Siro and together work on a way to escape on the journey to Ferveem Forest.”
“Why are we going back there?” Eleanor asked after everyone agreed to the plan.
“I don’t know.” It was clear by the king’s words he thought it a threat.
I didn’t know why, but we wouldn’t stick around long enough to find out.
“The biggest problem we’ll face is trying to be together while we travel.
Terym has already said he would keep us separated, but Shade needs to be able to touch us all to get out. ”
“Harkin can help!” Eleanor exclaimed, and we all looked at her with mirroring expressions of incredulity. “Don’t look like that, he’s trustworthy.”
Pink tinged her cheeks as she averted her eyes. Their relationship had obviously progressed; I’d have to speak with her about it at some stage.
“Eleanor … he’s a Lord of Torglea, he’s loyal to the king.”
“He’s loyal to me,” she insisted. “I won’t tell him everything, I’ll just ask him to sneak me to you. The soldiers have to listen to him, it’s our best option.”
I stared into her pleading eyes. She was confident he was trustworthy, and she wouldn’t tell him the truth of why we were meeting up. Besides, it was a good idea, the best any of us had. “Okay, but only tell him what is essential, nothing more.”
Almost a week had passed after sending a letter to King Siro requesting asylum, when Terym demanded I attend another dinner with him. I’d hoped after the wedding and the confrontation that followed, he wouldn’t require my attendance, but it seemed he’d licked his wounds enough.
It was Pierce’s turn to be my guard, so it was with him at my back that I entered the banquet hall. As usual, the king sat at the head of the long table, only a place setting to his left prepared. It was just us tonight.
Captain Gensen’s eyes tracked me to the table, but Terym didn’t so much as glance in my direction when I sat beside him, too engrossed in the missives strewn before him.
I placed Shade’s lamp beside my plate, I always kept it in hand when I walked the halls now, and being in the presence of the king again, I needed him close.
At its appearance, Gensen rushed forward, ready to draw his sword if Shade were to emerge, and I couldn’t stop the smirk tugging at my lips.
The king finally acknowledged my presence with narrowed eyes, and my expression sobered.