19. Jasmine
JASMINE
I’m rushing out of work when I get a text to meet Jake at the library. The last three days have been busy, with back-to-back shifts because of a staff member being sick, and I’ve been too exhausted to do anything but work and sleep.
After using my shadow magic for the second time and having a fun night with Jake, my body needs more time than usual to reenergize.
Luckily, today was sort of a half day for me, and I’m out of the office at three p.m. Jake’s been researching the demon portals, but he’s yet to ask me what I know. Instead, he fills me in on a daily phone call about everything he’s learned.
I could tell him where to find a few, but it won’t give him what he needs. I don’t know how to bridge that gap. How do I tell him the answer to his problem is to force me to leave? If I’m not here, the demons will go away. They’re only here to drag me back.
Jake still isn’t pushing for information, but I know I can only hide so much from him before he learns the full truth.
When I get to the library, I find him nestled between two large stacks of books. He’s resting his head on his hand, reading a page out of one of the texts. I’m realizing how hot it is for a man to be in a library, reading a massive text for research, all of his own free will.
“Hi, staying busy?” I ask, and Jake looks up immediately.
The way his eyes light up when he sees me will always give me butterflies.
How is it that I’ve wanted Fernhollow to feel like home for the past decade, and it wasn’t until I met Jake that it finally felt complete?
I don’t feel the need to look over my shoulder when he’s near.
“You’re here.” He stands and rounds the desk, embracing me.
“I’m here,” I whisper, hugging him tight. “Have you found anything good?”
Jake rolls his eyes. “Everything I find is a dead end. But it’s okay, I don’t think there’s been a lot of activity since…” Jake pauses and looks around the room, then whispers, “The other day.”
“Oh.”
After we defeated the last demon, I’m surprised my father didn’t send more right away, but maybe they’re planning something worse.
No one thought I could defend myself against another, but they were wrong.
I’m glad my father isn’t the type to send an entire army at once, because that would only cause war.
“Can I help with anything?” I ask.
“I’m done here. I was hoping we could go for a walk. I’ve been cooped up inside all day and could use some fresh air.”
Twenty minutes later, all of his books are placed on a cart to be reshelved, and we’re heading out of the library.
“You’re not sensing anything, are you?” Jake asks, then reaches to twine his fingers with mine.
I chuckle. “No, the library isn’t normally a hot zone.”
We walk down the street, past all the businesses, and toward a small trail that leads to a park. The sun won’t set for a few more hours.
Along the path, other couples and families are walking and playing.
I squeeze Jake’s hand, and he squeezes back, but I keep my thoughts on what’s around us.
I’m used to staying on the eastern side of Fernhollow, constantly worried I’d be found.
I don’t want other people to get hurt because of me.
If I were in a crowd like this and something were to happen, it’d be my fault.
“Have you ever been here?” Jake asks, dragging me out of my thoughts.
“I don’t think so. If I have, it would have been a long time ago,” I say, keeping my eyes on the ground. The less attention I draw, the better.
“I’ve been coming here most nights, and it’s been a good way to decompress and think.”
“That’s how it is when I run in the forest. Believe it or not, I normally ran a few times a week before all of this. Back where I, um, grew up, it’s not like this.”
“Want to tell me about it?”
I glance up at Jake and take a moment to consider his offer. He’s not pushing, he’s only asking, and it’s making me fall a little more for him.
“It’s dark, with little light. Not like a depressing sort of dark, though. It’s beautiful in its own way. The entire sky is coated in a red glow and the land is full of dark hills.”
“Could you run there?”
“Eh, you could, maybe. But I don’t know anyone who did. The air isn’t meant for labored breathing like that; it’s always dense and hot. I’d probably pass out if I were to try and run.”
“Sounds like life wasn’t as enjoyable, huh?”
I chuckle. “There’s a reason I’m here, you know.”
Jake unlaces our fingers and wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me toward him.
His silence and warmth say more than any words could.
His actions have my hard exterior cracking one sliver at a time.
Until now, I’ve kept my childhood trauma bottled up and shoved into the deep, dark abyss of my mind.
When we’ve been walking for a while, my thoughts turn back to what happened at Rebecca’s.
It’s been a few days, and I haven’t heard from Marisole.
Without her input, I fear I’ll have to come up with a plan on my own.
Lying low has failed and is no longer an option.
What else can I do? The only way a demon helps someone is by making a bargain…
How would I even go about making a bargain with my father?
If I can’t, I’ll have no way to survive. My head hurts thinking about it.
The more I fall for Jake, the deeper I dig myself into this lie. How will I tell him the truth behind his mission? We have our own goals, sure, but what would he say if the answer to him succeeding is giving me up? If I wait too long, I may have to choose between him and my survival.
That’s why I need to know what to bargain for to give myself a chance of surviving.
For now, I’ll continue to go with Jake to various places and try to help him to the best of my ability until I’m ready. I can’t tell him where the portals are because I’d have to give him my necklace to use as the key to open them.
And without him knowing how to work the portal, he could end up somewhere in my home realm and never return. It’s dangerous, and without having an ally on the other side, he wouldn’t stand a chance. If I send him through unprepared, I may be the reason he doesn’t come back.
I’ve been trying my best to put a lock on certain emotions so they don’t travel down the bond, especially worry and guilt.
But every once in a while, I’ll catch Jake looking at me with narrowed brows like he’s trying to read me, trying to understand what’s going on in my head without asking me.
“We’re okay, right?” I ask after a while.
“Of course,” Jake says, pressing a kiss on the top of my head. “Right?”
“Ye-Yeah,” I say, leaning into him, trying to ignore the nagging secrets. “We are.”