CHAPTER 20
Frankie
“I felt like a drunk kid in a liquor store, until Graven cockblocked me.” I try paying attention to Jess’ recollection of her night, but my thoughts drift back to the flowers.
I’m not sure why I haven’t told her yet.
Maybe I’m afraid I’ll jinx it if I speak it out loud.
“…‘the human’s too fragile.’ Meanwhile, he and the dumb blonde went at it like they were auditioning for a bad porno.
I can’t believe he subjected me to that. ”
“Ahem!” The demon leading the session clears her throat, making Jess’ lips snap shut. Sorry, she mouths, then closes her eyes, settling in like she’s been meditating her whole life.
I shift on my cushion, the rough seam of the hide scratching the back of my leg.
Okay, I got this. The instructor said to imagine each thought as a cloud and label it so it doesn’t take root.
Easy, right? Except my brain doesn’t do easy.
Thought…thought, thought, thought…the clouds multiply until a storm rolls through.
I thought I held back my groan, but a light tap on my shoulder tells me otherwise.
I crack one eye open. Anatha stands over me, swaying gently, motioning for me to get up. She leans close, her voice warm. “For some of us, sitting still just makes the noise louder. Sometimes the body needs to move so the mind can rest.”
I smile at her, grateful she noticed me struggling, and follow her lead. With my eyes closed once again, I start swaying to a rhythm of my own. The quiet settles in, and something inside me finally lets go. I could almost float away.
I’m so lost in my own world that I barely notice a strange pull at my spine spreading across my shoulders. But the longer I stay with it, the heavier it grows, like something’s trying to break free.
Heat gathers at my fingertips, but it’s different from the darkness that usually builds there.
Instead of the heavy, almost suffocating feeling, it sparks then morphs into a cool relief.
I crack open one eye as a white glow fades from my palm.
I glance around the room to see if anyone noticed, but no one is looking my way.
I smile, afraid to get my hopes up, but I can’t help it. I did it!
A voice from the front cuts through the quiet. “Open your eyes.”
Someone sighs softly, the demon next to me gives a gentle smile, and here I am grinning ear to ear like an idiot. I hold back my squeal. I can’t believe how happy that little spark made me.
Jess speaks up from my left. I didn’t realize she stood too. “It was a good class, but there’s only one thing that will make me smile that much, and it’s not here. What’s up?”
I shove my hands in her face. “My light…it’s back.”
Her eyes light up. “It’s back?” She throws her arms around my neck. “It’s fucking back!”
“Ahem!” The instructor side-eyes us as she walks by. “You found quiet. Don’t lose it on your way out.”
Jess snorts, and I bite my lip to keep from laughing.
Beleth elbows me and winks. “Ah, quiet’s overrated,” she says, loud enough for the instructor to hear.
Jess sighs and throws an arm around her shoulder. “I think you’re my kindred spirit.”
We gather our things and walk through the door flap. Anatha puts her hand on my arm when we get outside. “Frankie, magic returning on its own is huge. I’m so happy for you.”
Jess finishes chugging from her canteen and screws the cap back on. “I’m happy for me. Maybe you can use your magic to heal Graven’s ego, or shrink it…something.”
Beleth laughs. “He’s usually quite charming. I’m not sure why he forgets how to act when you’re around.”
An easy laugh echoes across the clearing. I don’t have to look to know who it belongs to. “Speak of the devil,” I say as Ronin rounds the corner, Graven choking on whatever joke he must've made.
Ronin smiles, tilting his head at us when they get closer. “Did these two actually stay quiet in there?”
Beleth chuckles. “Let’s just say it’s probably a good thing Lucy stayed behind. I don’t think they could’ve handled one more blabber mouth.”
“Hey!” Jess protests. “I was quiet. Just not at the beginning.”
“Or the end,” I add.
Ronin hooks an arm around her neck. “The only thing you do quietly is blink.”
I laugh as Jess shoves him away. “Ew, you’re sweaty.”
Her eyes flick to Graven, tracking the drop sliding down his neck. Funny how she doesn’t seem to mind his sweat.
He notices her staring and quickly wipes it away.
Jess blinks, dragging her attention back to Ronin. “What are you guys up to?”
“Zarreth is still inspecting the portal, but I was wondering if Frankie wanted to spar.” He turns to me. “It’s been a bit. Can’t have you getting all soft on me.”
It has been too long since we’ve trained. I’ve hardly seen him since we got here. “Let’s do it.”
Beleth turns away from the conversation she and Anatha are having with Graven. “Ronin, don’t forget you promised Lucy you’d take her to the market today.”
“Are you kidding? I’m looking forward to it more than she is.”
Anatha pulls me in for a hug. “We’ll see you later tonight.” She pats Jess’ shoulder then nods her head toward Graven. “Just kick him in the shin if he gets too grumpy.”
Graven snorts. “Don’t be giving her any ideas.”
The moms drift toward the market, still talking. Jess and Graven fall in behind them.
Ronin jerks his chin at the training grounds. “Come on, before Zarreth comes back and steals you from me.
“So, where did you disappear to last night?” I bump Ronin’s shoulder as we cut across to the training grounds.
He shrugs, his usually bright smile faltering. “Eh, I ended up going home early.”
That’s strange. I figured he’d be indulging with the rest of us, maybe hanging out with Macen.
He once told me he didn’t know of any other gay demons, but that’s bullshit.
From what I’ve seen, there doesn’t seem to be a sexual preference at all.
“I thought you said there weren’t other gay demons here? ”
He snorts. “As far as I’m concerned, there aren’t any.”
“What about Macen?”
Something tightens around his smile. It’s small, but I catch it. “He’s engaged.”
“Engaged?” I blink at him. “I thought demons didn’t believe in marriage.”
“We don't. Not really.” His voice thins a little. “It’s more of an alliance.”
My heart aches for him. He said it so casually, but I know it has to hurt. I hate how lonely he must be. “Well, I don’t know what’s going on tonight, but we should all hang out.”
He gives me a grin. “Maybe we can invite Sable. I heard you’ve gotten pretty good at putting her in her place.”
Oh, God. If I never see her again it’ll be too soon. “I can’t believe Zarreth dated her, and why does Graven bother? He doesn’t even seem to like her.”
“Believe it or not, she wasn’t always this bad. As far as Graven goes, I think he just gets bored, and she’s easy.” He shrugs like the reason is obvious.
Footsteps rush across the packed dirt behind us. A demon jogs toward us, eyes locked on Ronin. “Commander,” he says, stopping short. “You need to see something.”
Ronin’s expression sharpens. “Show me.”
We follow him to the treeline, moving quickly, until we reach a small clearing.
My stomach climbs into my throat when I spot a demon kneeling, gaze fixed on the ground.
He doesn’t look up, only raises his hand.
The air ripples, pulling everything slightly out of focus before snapping back.
A shape takes form and my lungs forget to work. It’s a body.
A small body. He’s young. Too young. Barely into his change. Bruises bloom across his ribs. Bite marks score his skin.
Dante. The name forms in my mind as my knees hit the ground beside the boy. My fingers shake while I rub my hands together, trying to summon heat, a spark…anything.
“Please,” I whisper, but when I press my palms to his chest, nothing happens. Not even a flicker. Come on! You were just there this morning. Don’t leave me now! “Come on, work!”
The body doesn’t move. Dammit!
A hand settles on my shoulder, but I shrug it off and try again. I have to save him. He’s too young for this. It isn’t fair.
“Frankie.” Ronin’s grip is firmer this time when he eases me back.
I want to stay here, want to keep trying until his little chest moves, but I know the truth. He’s gone. There’s no coming back. The look in Ronin’s eyes only confirms it.
The demon kneeling on the other side of the body lifts his hand again. The glamour returns and the boy disappears.
I finally push myself up. “He’ll answer for this.”
Ronin nods. “He will.”
Zarreth adjusts the clasp on his arm guard when I step inside. He’s steady, but there’s a tightness in his movements while he gets ready.
“He’s pushing,” I say, unable to shake the image of the boy on the ground. The marks, the bruises. “He wanted us to find the body.”
Amber eyes meet mine. “He wants us unsteady.”
“I won’t be,” I say softly.
“I know.” He crosses the room and adjusts a piece of fabric on my shoulder, smoothing it so it falls the way it’s supposed to. “Stay near me tonight. If Dante tries anything, he’ll do it where the entire horde can see. You know he likes an audience.”
Unfortunately, I know all too well how he likes an audience. “Maybe Jess should stay behind. I worry about her.”
He shakes his head. “She’s the easiest and most effective target for Dante. He’ll use her to get you to surrender. She’s safer with the horde. Graven can shield her…Please, Frankie, if things happen tonight…” He stops, gaze lifting to the ceiling instead of finishing the sentence.
I cup his cheeks, pulling his head down so I can look him in the eyes. “If Dante shows, I want you focused, not worried about me. I promise if things get bad, I’ll stay with Jess in the shield.”
His shoulders relax while he reaches for the back of my neck and pulls me closer. His lips brush against mine. “Thank you,” he says, softly.
He pulls back a little, still close enough that I can feel his breath. I rest my hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat with mine.
“So, what should I expect tonight?” I ask. “I don’t want to screw anything up.”
His thumb slides along the side of my neck. “We’ll stand with the horde. The parents will bring the body themselves and lay him on the pyre. They usually say a few words.”
I’m just sick thinking about those poor parents. “What happens after?”
“Sometimes the parents light the pyre, sometimes it’s one of the elders. His soul will travel on. The fire is our thanks to Erebus for guarding his path.”
His shoulders dip slightly when he speaks again. “Most of the time, it turns into a celebration. But a child…” he hesitates. “It’s different.”
Dread twists my stomach while I secure my sword at my hip. I’m not ready for this. Not for a child.
Zarreth slides his longer sword onto his back and reaches for my hand. “We stay together.”
I lace my fingers through his, straightening my spine. “Always.”