CHAPTER 44
Frankie
The wind hits me the second I step through, but it isn’t wind.
Whatever it is, it’s alive, crawling under my skin, in my lungs, behind my eyes.
Everything moves as flashes of light and shadow swirl around me.
Something is pulling me in different directions all at once, twisting like it’s going to rip me in half.
A voice cuts through the chaos. Come on, Squirt!
I jerk my head around, looking for the owner of the voice, but I can’t even tell what’s up or what’s down. There’s only one person who’s ever called me that.
There’s so much going on, I start to think I imagined it, but then I hear it again. You can do this. It’s just like riding a bike, remember?
“Nate?” I call out. My voice cracks, swallowed by the noise.
Something bright flies past my face. I close my eyes and pull my head back. My hand reaches out, searching for something to grab onto, but it only catches air. No ground, no walls, nothing. Don’t panic now, Frankie. Just breathe. You got this.
Hey, his voice cuts through again, closer this time. Breathe, Squirt. You always forget that part.
I suck in air, but the ache in my lungs doesn’t ease. Why did I think I was strong enough to do this? I can’t get my bearings in here. I don’t even know where to begin.
The flutter in my stomach reminds me that I have to get my shit together. The babies are counting on me. I have to be strong, I have to focus.
I close my eyes, pretending I’m safe, enclosed by Zarreth’s wings. I finally take a full breath and then another, until the pain eases and I’m able to find my magic.
Light gathers at my fingertips, and shadows crawl up my skin. I picture two strands of hair, one red and one dark brown. One strand wraps over the other. Over, under, over, under.
I open my eyes. The light moves slowly now, almost gentle, as the shadows weave in and out. Thank God!
Something stirs ahead of me. At first I can’t make out what it is, but then the light changes. It’s a child. Their knees are pulled to their chest, dark shaggy hair falling over their forehead.
“Hello?” I say, my voice shaking.
He looks up, and eyes the same color as mine stare back at me. “Nate?”
His eyes flick to my stomach. “Keep going before it gets them.”
A sick dread crawls down my spine when I process what he’s saying. “Gets who? Before what gets who?” He can’t be talking about the twins. Please say he’s not talking about the twins.
He doesn’t look away. “The portal. It needs balance; it needs the babies.”
“No! What? No!” I take a step back; my hands find my belly and I gasp. It’s huge! How is that possible? There’s a kick in my stomach. It’s no longer a light flutter. “No, it can’t have them.”
“It’s taking them!” he screams, now standing. “You have to get them out before it’s too late.”
“What are you talking—” My words morph into a scream.
A sharp pain shoots through my abdomen. Dark tendrils crawl across my skin like black veins. My stomach tightens as shadows seep in, pulling like they’re trying to take what’s inside.
“Stop!” I choke out, pressing both hands to my belly. “Stop, please!”
“It won’t stop,” Nate yells. “You need to cut them out. Get them before the portal does.”
“Cut…what? No.” This isn’t real! It’s not! I spin in a circle, searching for a way out, but there isn’t one.
He’s standing next to me now, tears streaming down his face. “Please, save them. Cut them out, Frankie! Don’t let it get them!”
The pull deepens until I can’t tell where my body ends and the magic begins. This can’t be happening. I’m dreaming…having a nightmare! Wake up! Wake up!
Nate is sobbing so hard now that I can barely make out his words. “Don’t—be like mom! Save…them. Give them…a better life than we…”
No, please no! There has to be another way!
Pressure builds as searing pain claws at my stomach. Threads of smoke snake toward me, coiling around my middle. “Help! Someone help me!” I scream as it tightens, each tendril burning me from within. I can feel my magic answer, but it’s not enough.
“Frankie, you have to.”
I don’t remember reaching for my knife, but I’m gripping it now. I press it to my belly, my hands shaking so violently it takes both of them to hold it steady. “Please, please don’t make me do this. Take anything else, not my babies!”
My vision blurs, and then…nothing
No pain, no sound. Just black.
When I blink again, the pull is gone. The smoke, the pain, all of it.
I’m floating, or maybe falling. My hands are pressed against my stomach, but the knife is gone.
I open my fingers, and in its place is a rabbit’s foot.
What? How did I get this? I thought Nate took it the first time he made me black out?
I look around the portal for my brother, but he’s nowhere in sight…
not even the child version of him. Was it all an illusion?
My hands find my stomach. It’s flat again. Then it hits me. Oh my God! I almost cut my babies out!
A sound breaks out of me, so raw, so full of anguish that I’m not sure who it comes from. I fold in on myself, shaking until my teeth clatter. My chest crushes in on itself, my ribs unable to stretch wide enough to breathe.
I curl onto my side, clutching my stomach.
It doesn’t move.