Chapter Fifteen #2
‘Your love is no better than my mother’s or my father’s.’
‘They didn’t love you.’
‘Exactly. My mother, she abandoned me because she was selfish. My father abandoned my mother and me because he was selfish. You are selfish, too, Poppy. Only thinking of what you want—what you need.’
‘I’m thinking of what we both need.’
‘What will you do if I do not return your love?’
‘I—’
‘You’ll leave me standing at the altar. You will abandon me. Again. That is not love.’
‘How do you know what love is if you’ve never felt it? I know what love is, Konstantinos. This is love. I love you. You love me.’
‘I loved my mother and she died, because my love was selfish, too. I should have called for help, but my heart demanded I follow her. Save her.’
The navy-blue walls surrounding them—the blue of the sea at his back—it all swirled. Closed in on her like storm clouds.
‘You weren’t to blame, Konstantinos,’ she said, it all becoming clear in her head. His need for control. How he was twisting everything now so he was in charge of the narrative.
‘Your mother’s death wasn’t your fault. You had no control over her choice, Konstantinos. You can’t control everything. Others’ actions. I couldn’t control my dad’s.’
‘This has nothing to do with my mother!’
‘But it does,’ she realised out loud. ‘It’s why you couldn’t admit you loved Isaak.’
‘You will not bring him into this,’ he warned darkly.
‘You love him, don’t you? You just can’t let it out. These feelings. All this love, because it makes you feel out of control. Like it did in the sea with your mother.’
His dark eyes blazed. ‘I am always in control.’
‘You can’t be, Konstantinos. You must realise that now.
After your mum, Isaak—me. Life happens. Some things are out of our control.
But they happen. Bad things. Horrible things.
And we can either let them break us, or we let them strengthen us.
And this—’ she waved at the entirety of him ‘—pretending nothing affects you—that you feel nothing—is…’ She didn’t want to call him weak.
He was the strongest man she’d ever met.
‘It’s not strong, Konstantinos,’ she finished.
His shoulders squared. ‘I am not weak.’
‘You don’t want to admit you love me. You don’t want to risk having a real marriage, because you loved your mother, and she abandoned you in the worst way possible. I’ll never abandon you when things are hard. I’ll be there for you. Always. I will never put you in second place again,’ she promised.
He glared at her. ‘You just did.’
‘I…’ Doubt pressed against her temples. ‘No.’
‘You want this,’ he told her. ‘Not me.’
‘You want this. I know it.’
He shook his head. ‘You want to believe that, because it is what you want.’
‘You’re frightened—’
‘Everything I have done,’ he pressed, his voice hard as steel, ‘our marriage, the last few weeks, was to make you play a part. A part I wanted you to play. I got in your head. I made you think you were safe to let down your guard. I made you believe you could trust me.’
‘I do trust you.’
‘Then you are a fool. I cannot be trusted. I am a liar, too, Poppy, but I am more skilled than you at it. You do not know me.’
‘I know you more now than I ever did,’ she said, because it was the truth. She knew him now. Knew herself.
‘You only know what I have let you know,’ he said. ‘I am not fair. I am not…considerate.’
‘You’re all those things,’ she said. ‘More.’
‘I am a fake,’ he countered. ‘I am selfish. I care for nothing. No one. Only myself. And I won’t hide from the ugliness of the truth. I am my father’s son.’
‘You are Konstantinos Ariti. You are loyal. You are a protector. Your father was never those things. He left you all alone to take care of your sick mother. You would never do that. You didn’t do that to me. You made sure I was safe.’
‘I always meant to hurt you, Poppy.’
‘Not on purpose,’ she almost shouted.
‘I did,’ he contradicted. ‘I will never give you the opportunity to humiliate me again.’ He dipped his head to the page in front of him. Added a word to the front page.
His signature.
Her heart dropped to her stomach. ‘What are you signing?’
He flicked to another page, and another, adding his signature. ‘The divorce papers.’
She couldn’t breathe.
‘You will sign the papers.’ He held out his pen. ‘Now.’
‘No.’
‘You will sign them,’ he repeated. ‘And you will leave.’
‘I’m not going anywhere.’
‘When I found you,’ he said. ‘The contract. The sex. The divorce. When you demanded we find closure…’ He placed the pen on the table. Leant forward, his arms on the edge of the desk. Oh, so nonchalantly. ‘I agreed to it all, and do you know why, Poppy?’
Her heart pounded. ‘Why?’
‘Revenge.’
‘Revenge?’
‘Retribution, for your abandonment. For shattering the image I had worked all my life to project,’ he clarified. ‘I did it so when you needed me,’ his nostrils flared, ‘I’d send you away.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘I have manipulated you from the very beginning. I have tricked you, Poppy. Deceived you.’
‘You’re lying.’
‘Why would I lie now? It’s over. The facade. So why would I keep pretending?’
‘Pretending?’
‘I’ve been toying with you.’
‘The contract. I know…’ she said. ‘We were both fighting for control, but it was always going to end this way. I know that, and so do you. We love each other.’
‘I have never, and will never love you.’
Her knees wobbled. She felt weak. Sick. Had it all been a lie?
She’d put her love out there, asked for his in return, and he had made it something ugly. Selfish.
He picked up the pen. Held it out to her. His hand didn’t tremble. His fingers pure stone, he held it there as if nothing was going on beneath his skin. As if he felt nothing.
‘Sign it, Poppy.’