Chapter 11
My eyes popped open when my alarm blared. I already had Friday afternoons off, but I took the morning off to make a big birthday breakfast for my baby. It was something I’d started doing when he turned five.
I couldn’t believe my baby was eleven. It seemed like I just brought him home from the hospital yesterday. He’d experienced and seen so much negativity in his young life, and I was grateful to God that it hadn’t affected him.
After I picked him up from art class last night, we had a great conversation about art while eating dinner, and when I told him that Graham wanted to hire him to do at least one of the murals in his studio, he was beyond excited.
When we finished dinner, he showered while I cleaned the kitchen, then we watched one of his favorite shows. He went to his bedroom to read after his show went off, and when I was preparing for bed, he knocked on my door. I thought about our conversation, and it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
“Come in.”
“Hey, Mom. Tomorrow is my birthday.”
I giggled. “I’m well aware of the day I gave birth to my greatest blessing.”
“Umm, did you have a chance to talk to Mr. Graham?”
“I did.”
His expression changed from anticipation to disappointment.
“Oh. I guess he’s busy.” He put his head down and turned to leave my room.
“Wait a minute. Where are you going?”
“It’s my bedtime.”
“You don’t want to know what Mr. Graham said?”
“I thought he was busy since you didn’t say anything yet.”
“Actually, he’s not busy, and he’d love to hang out with you. He’s gonna see if Trey and his dad are available too. If not, it’ll just be you two.”
“Yes! Yes! Yes! Thanks so much, Mom.”
He ran and jumped on my bed, hugging me with all his might. I didn’t realize how important it was to him, but I was glad Graham was available.
“You’re welcome, Son, and guess what else?”
“What?”
“I was going to wait until tomorrow, but look what I got.”
I retrieved the cell phone I’d gotten him from my bedside table and held it up. His mouth almost dropped to the floor when he realized what it was.
“Yes! Mom, you’re the best.”
He hugged me again, even tighter than before.
“You’re just saying that because you got what you wanted.”
He released me and looked into my eyes. “I’m not, Mom. You really are the best, and I love you.”
This time, I pulled him into an embrace as my eyes filled with tears.
“Thank you, baby. It means a lot to hear you say that.”
“I mean it. Can you come tuck me in?”
“Did you already do your reading?” He nodded. “All right. Let’s go.”
Thinking about our exchange from last night brought tears to my eyes.
Not only was my baby book smart, but he was polite, caring, and grateful.
I felt encouraged, and it had been a while since I’d felt that way.
I hadn’t been sad or depressed, but I found myself just going through the motions.
Now, I felt like I had something to look forward to, and I could only attribute that feeling to Graham.
I thought about scheduling an appointment with my therapist to see if she could help me sort out my feelings for Graham.
I saw her regularly after I left Victor, until about six months ago, but her advice on these new feelings would be helpful.
I grabbed my phone and went to the app for her office.
I lucked up because she had an opening this evening.
I quickly scheduled my appointment and finally got out of bed to start my day.
My mother and sister were coming over to celebrate with us, and I knew they’d overdone it on gifts because they always did.
With him being the only grandchild and nephew, they spoiled him rotten.
Keelan was far from a spoiled brat, though.
He was always gracious and didn’t take anything for granted.
Just before ten, my little family was gathered in the kitchen. We’d finished breakfast, sang Happy Birthday, and Keelan had opened his gifts. His excitement about everything was contagious, and the four of us wore matching smiles.
“This is the best birthday ever. Thank you, Nana. Thank you, Mimi. Oh, and thank you for everything, Mom.”
He gave each of us a hug, gathered as many of his gifts as he could in his arms, and went to his room, repeating the process two more times. A few of his gifts were video games that he’d been wanting, so I knew we wouldn’t see him for a while.
“So, tell me about this man you’ve been seeing,” Ma said as soon as her grandson was out of earshot.
“I’m not seeing anyone. Why don’t you tell us about your boo?”
“The jury is still out on that one because he pissed me off, but I did meet someone at the boutique last week. He came in to get a hat for his mother.”
“Dang, Ma. You don’t waste no time moving on. I know that’s right,” Naomi said.
“Life is short, baby girl. This ain’t about me, though. Tell me about Graham. Naomi said he’s fine as hell, but I hope he offers more than looks.”
“He was raised here but lived in Chicago for over twenty years. He’s a retired police officer but is opening a boxing studio soon. Que likes him—”
“What? Did you say Que likes him?”
My mother looked at Que, who was chilling in his cage, in disbelief.
“He likes him a lot, actually.”
“Sweetheart, you might as well marry that man because Que don’t play about you and Keelan. I don’t like dogs, but I got nothing bad to say about Que and the way he protects my babies.”
“I told her the same thing, Ma.” Naomi chimed in.
“Y’all know I have a hard time trusting my judgment.”
“In this case, you might need to trust Que’s judgment, or you gon’ mess around and miss out on your good thing,” Naomi told me.
“Graham is aware of my issues, claims to understand them, and continues to show up.”
“Why do you say he claims to understand your issues? You don’t believe him?” Ma questioned.
“That’s the problem, I don’t know what to believe. I will say this, though. I have a good feeling about him, but my brain is working overtime, trying to find something wrong with him.”
“Nobody is perfect, sweetheart, but like I said, life is short. Can you imagine how miserable I would’ve been had I let your father leaving us stop my joy?
Some men are sent by Satan to drag us every which way, and some men are sent by God to love all of our worries away.
You’ve prayed, you’ve been to therapy, you’ve done the work, baby girl.
It’s time to let go of the past and embrace what the future has in store. ”
“Preach, Ma. Whew! That was a whole sermon. I got chills from that word,” Naomi cosigned.
“I hear you, Ma, and I’m listening. I promise, I am.”
“Happy birthday, my guy. You ready to have some fun?” Graham said, greeting Keelan with a high-five when he entered our house.
As usual, Que made sure he was in the mix, and Graham always showed him love.
“Yes, Mr. Graham. Thank you for taking time out of your day to hang out with me.”
“It’s no problem. Listen, just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean I’m going easy on you. Prepare to be crushed.”
“Ha-ha! You’re funny, but maybe I’ll let you win one game.”
“Do you hear this?” Graham asked, looking at me.
“I do, and it sounds like you need to step your game up. Keelan, take Que out back for a minute and let me talk to Mr. Graham.”
“Okay. Come on, boy.”
I waited until Keelan and Que were in the backyard before stepping into Graham’s arms. I tilted my head back, and he leaned down for a kiss.
“I missed you.”
He gasped, putting some space between us with a shocked expression.
“You missed me? Now isn’t that a strange turn of events. God’s been working overtime.”
I smacked my lips and gently pushed away from him, but because his arms were around my waist, we didn’t separate.
“Maybe I didn’t miss you since you’re making fun of me.”
“It’s okay if you missed me, because I missed you too. Today was a busy one. Oh, before I forget. Are you busy on Sunday?”
“No.”
“Can you find out if your mother and sister are busy?”
“Umm, sure. What’s going on?”
“Sunday dinner at my parents’ house.”
“Wait. What? How did that happen?”
“I’ll tell you later. We need to get going because DJ and Trey are meeting us there.”
“Okay.”
He kissed me again, squeezing my ass while doing so.
“I can’t wait until your brain stops cock blockin’, ’cause I’m gon’ tear this ass up.”
He kissed me again, then released me and went to the backyard to get Keelan.
“Mom, what are you gonna do while we’re gone?”
“I’ll probably hang out on the porch with Que and catch the last bit of sun with a glass of wine and a book.”
It was only a partial lie, because I did plan to do those things after my appointment with Dr. Hart.
“That sounds boring. Are you coming to have ice cream and cake after we’re done playing?”
“No, baby. I’ll be here when you get back. Don’t worry about me.”
He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I kissed the top of his head.
“Thanks, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you more, baby. You behave for Mr. Graham and Mr. DJ.”
Keelan went outside, and Graham stole another kiss before following him. I watched them walk across the street and get into Graham’s truck. Keelan waved at me from the back seat as they drove by, and I released a breath I had no idea I was holding.
I had come a long way because a few months ago, I was only comfortable with Keelan being with me, my mother, and my sister. His father and that crazy ass family had always been a question mark.
Before I assumed my position on the porch, I ordered dinner from Soulful Diner and took Que for a walk while waiting for it to be delivered. As I returned from my walk, the delivery driver was approaching my house.
“Thank you. Have a good night.”
“You’re welcome, ma’am. You too.”
Que and I went inside, and after I washed my hands, I poured myself a glass of wine and enjoyed my food while scrolling through Flikstagram. At five thirty on the dot, Dr. Hart’s name scrolled across my screen, showing a video call.
“Hey, Dr. Hart.”