Chapter 15 #2
His palm slides up my center, and through my daze, I see him staring down at me. He’s watching every movement, as if he’s searing this moment into his memory, as if this is the most perfect thing he’s ever experienced, and he wants nothing more than for it to never end.
I groan a little as he lifts my legs, bringing my knees up before dropping them onto the bed. He waits a little, gently stroking the inside of my thighs until my breathing calms, and then his hand dips behind my balls.
“Lorien…”
He stiffens and takes a tense breath. He thinks I’m hesitating; he thinks I’m about to ask him to stop, or worse, that I’m going to fight him again. I’m not, but I don’t know how to tell him that all I want is understanding. That all I want is time.
“I don’t want to disappoint…”
My head turns away and I close my eyes.
“I’ve never… I might not… It might be too much, Lorien. I don’t want it to hurt.”
Fingers grab my chin and turn my face back to the midline. I open my eyes to see Lorien, leaning over me, his golden eyes burning with a heat I don’t understand. He’s not angry, he’s not sad. He isn’t upset either.
“Baby,” he whispers, planting a gentle kiss on my lips.
“I will never hurt you. Not like this, now when this is new, and it takes trust. I know, and you could never disappoint me, Jude. Not in a thousand lifetimes could I want anything other than this moment with you. Where you and I meet, and we discover that what we are is greater than the fears that try to hold us back.”
I nod, and he kisses me with a reverence that steals my breath.
“You tell me if this gets too much,” he says.
Lorien pulls back and I watch him rest between my thighs, his cock more impressive and imposing than I’ve ever seen it. He’s careful, moving his hands over my stomach and legs, making sure I’m relaxed before he slowly, gently lets his fingers move toward my ass.
His fingers play with my ass as his hand strokes his cock, and he groans as a mass of precum spills into his hand. It’s thick and golden, and I stare at it, wondering what it is and what he intends to do with it.
“We need lube,” he says, scooping the liquid out of his palm. “It’ll make it feel better. This won’t hurt, so just relax and let me do all the work.”
I nod and wonder if he realizes that telling someone to relax isn’t helpful.
Lorien smiles at me, and his finger presses into me, sliding inside with surprising ease.
It’s not painful and it wasn’t last time, it’s just a feeling of fullness.
Of being stretched, but mostly it’s just an overwhelming sense that I’m filled with him.
“Good boy,” he praises.
I exhale a breath I didn’t know I was holding, and Lorien moves his finger, sliding in and out, letting me relax as I adjust to the sensation. It’s strange, but pleasant, and when he starts pushing against the side of me, I figure he’s going to add a second finger.
“You ready?” he asks.
“Yes.”
God knows if I am or not.
The pressure builds and there’s a slight pinch, and then I’m fuller than I was before. There’s more stretch, and more sensation, and it feels better too. Lorien moves again, and I relax, letting go and enjoying the pleasure as it begins to take over, and my anxiety starts to subside.
And then he curls his finger forward and, dear god, he finds somewhere that makes me go wild. I gasp and cry and whatever the hell he’s touching sends ripples of pleasure through me that break over me like storm waves crashing onto rocks, and I wonder why I didn’t discover this before.
The ecstasy is unreal. Different from anything else I’ve ever known and I’ll never want to not do this. Not when it feels this damn good. Not when he feels this damn right.
“So fucking pretty,” he says, resting his head on the center of my chest as I move my hips with him, chasing a high that’s entirely new. “I’m going to fuck that virgin ass of yours, Jude. Tell me you want me to fuck you and fill you with my come.”
“Lorien,” I catch a breath. “Your mouth.”
“My cock’s better, baby. It’ll fuck you until you see stars, just as soon as you tell me that’s what you want. That you want me.”
“I’ve never wanted anything more.”
Lorien pulls back and his eyes brim with unadulterated joy and pure devotion.
This is the moment that he wanted, the intimacy he craved.
It’s the terror and the trust and the excitement and the fear of being this close to someone, knowing they can love and hurt you, and diving into the unknown with them.
I’ve never been so vulnerable, and I’ve never been so safe.
I’ve never been so terrified, and I’ve never been more loved.
“Ready?” he asks.
I nod. “Yes, Master.”
I feel his cock nudge against me, and I buck, uncertain.
“This doesn’t hurt, Jude. I won’t let it.”
Lorien leans forward and kisses me, his tongue playing with mine as his lips roll over mine.
I feel his cock push into me and I moan, feeling pressure and stretch and a fullness that isn’t entirely comfortable.
It’s not painful, but it’s overwhelming, and Lorien isn’t stopping, easing into me and making the sensation more unbearable. More all-consuming.
My fingertips dig into his chest and he breaks our kiss.
“It’s…” I pant into him.
“Just relax, baby. You’re doing so fucking good.”
“It’s a lot…”
“Does it hurt?” he asks, a flicker of concern passing through his eyes.
I shake my head. “No, it’s just new. It’s just…”
“Breathe, Jude. You’re taking my cock so fucking well. Like you were made for me. This is fucking perfect. You’re doing so, so well, babe.”
I nod and his hips meet mine. Our eyes meet and his are bright, filled with heat and love, with triumph, with tenderness too, and they take my breath away. His golden gaze locks onto mine, and I’m falling into him, drowning, and I don’t want to be saved.
“You’re perfect,” Lorien murmurs, his voice rough and reverent, like he’s speaking more to himself than to me.
His hand slides down my thigh, gripping it firmly as he holds me in place, his hips rocking into mine with a rhythm that’s maddening and intoxicating all at once. “You feel absolutely perfect.”
I gasp, my body arching against his as he thrusts deeper, drawing a low moan from my throat. He leans down, his lips brushing against my jaw, my neck, his breath hot against my skin.
“You’re mine, Jude,” he whispers, his voice like a vow, a promise. “Every inch of you belongs to me.”
I nod, unable to form words, my hands gripping his shoulders as I surrender to the overwhelming sensation of it all. And to him. Every touch, every movement is electric, setting my nerves alight, and I feel like I might come apart in his hands.
“Look at me,” he commands, his tone soft but unyielding.
I force my eyes open, meeting his gaze once more. The intensity in his eyes sends a shiver down my spine, and I realize that I’m completely, utterly his. And maybe, just maybe, I don’t mind. Because I know, with a certainty that’s as absolute as it’s eternal and terrifying, that he is mine.
“Lorien,” I utter, as much as prayer as a plea.
“Jude,” he replies, answering me.
And our eye contact doesn’t break. Not for one moment, not when his pace quickens, not when my cock hardens, or when the pleasure begins to build. Not when we smile at each other and come together, or when I start to move with him, for him.
Nor when I lose myself in him, and he in me. Even now, even when I no longer know where I end and he begins, do we look away, holding each other’s gaze as our souls join together and he becomes all I am, and I hold him inside of me, in so many ways I never imagined were possible.
His breathing turns ragged and I’m close to another orgasm, and we breathe as one, move as one. I’m sure our hearts beat as one, and Lorien drops his hips, changing the angle ever so slightly but changing everything in the fraction of a second.
Pleasure explodes through me and I cry out, coming so hard it hurts and my cock sprays come all over him. The heat and arousal burn through me and I watch through my daze as Lorien growls and drops his mouth open, roaring as he thrusts his cock into me.
I feel his dick jerk inside me as he comes, his roar still echoing around me. I’m lost in my orgasm as his erupts in me and my breathing falters as my heart doesn’t know whether to explode for him.
“Perfect,” he rasps.
I blink and nod, unable to find any words.
“You are perfect. You are mine. And I won’t ever let you go.”
I don’t want him to.
Not when this is what we have.
Not when this connection is more real, more intense, more potent than any I’ve known before.
Lorien slides out of me with a care that I notice and lies down next to me.
He pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around me, obliterating the distance between us as my back rests against his chest. I’m enclosed within the space he’s created for me, the world contained within his hold, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.
Not now. Not ever.
I close my eyes, wanting nothing more than this to last forever. Lorien presses a soft kiss to the back of my neck, his lips lingering as if sealing a promise he hasn’t spoken aloud. His hand trails down my arm, his touch light, reverent, as though I might shatter beneath him.
“You were incredible,” he murmurs, his voice low and filled with something I can’t quite name. Pride, maybe. Possession. Or perhaps it’s deeper, but I’m not afraid if it is.
Because for the first time in longer than I can remember, I believe it. I let my body relax against his, let the steady rhythm of his breathing anchor me, and as the exhaustion of the day pulls me under, I realize I’m not just resting in his arms—I’m safe in them, and I always will be.