Chapter 25
Currents of control
JUDE
The shoal of fish swims past the window as if everything’s returned to the way it always was, and the light reflecting off their scales brings a burst of hope into the room.
The corals dance and the stone glitters, and the beauty of Lorien’s kingdom offers me all it has as it teases me with the promise of everything we were, and it’s tempting to choose the easy road and give in.
Lorien’s arms tighten around me, and I’m sure he’s noticed the brief and subtle tensing of my muscles. He’s wanted more physical touch from me in the past few days, seeking the reassurance that everything’s settled between us.
It isn’t.
I can understand why he left me, but I cannot find it in myself to forgive him.
Not when he could have left a message and at least I would have worried with reason instead of being left to drown in my thoughts.
The uncomfortable truth is that he didn’t trust me with this, and if he can’t place his faith in me, then I don’t see why I should place my faith in him.
We have to rebuild what’s been destroyed, and it was a fragile bond to begin with.
Lorien’s nails drag down my side and he’s looking for a deeper kind of intimacy. We’ve been close, we’ve kissed and held each other, but we haven’t played together or fucked each other, and I know he wants to connect with me through sex.
I just don’t want it.
My hand grabs his wrist and he sucks a stuttered breath in.
“I still own you, Jude.” He flicks his fingers over me. “We need this, baby. We need to fuck. Now.”
I shake my head and he growls in my ear. His teeth nip at my earlobe and I shudder, surprised I’m excited by his aggression.
“You like the idea of being forced,” he threatens, although his tone’s more than a hint of a tease.
My head screams no, but my dick screams yes.
I shake my head and try to ignore the throb pulsing through my cock.
“We can play this game as often as you like, Jude.” Lorien’s teeth grate down my jawline and it’s my turn to suck in a frantic breath. “Maybe I’ll fuck you against this window, where anyone could see me claim you. Everyone would know you’re mine...”
This time I mean it when I shake my head.
“Something else then,” Lorien teases and his hand runs through my hair, taking a damn hard hold. “Something new. Where you learn to trust me and I teach you that I’ll only hurt you in all the right ways.”
I whimper as he pulls me into him, and his erection digs into my back. His breathing’s already ragged and his excitement might sweep us both away.
“Are you going to fight me on this, Jude?” he snarls against me.
I should.
My cock hardens, and I know there’s no point.
I want this too much. I want him too much.
For all his darkness, for all his complications. The difficult truth is that I want Lorien more than I’ve ever wanted anyone, and the chemistry between us is explosive. I’d combust to savor one more moment with him, and the promise of what he offers is a possibility I cannot ignore.
“Get on my fucking bed.”
“Since when did it go back to being your bed?” I hiss back, making a feeble attempt at a protest as he lands a smack on my ass.
Lorien’s eyebrow arches and he tracks my movements, suddenly the apex predator hunting his prey. He’s changed the dynamic in a fraction of a second and the burst of adrenaline that floods into me has my heart racing and my chest heaving.
“Don’t think for one fucking second it was never my bed, baby. I’ll share it with you, I’ll indulge you in it. But the rules haven’t changed. You’re mine. I own you, and you’ll do what I say, when I say, and you’ll thank me for it.”
I back up, and my cock hardens as I edge closer to the bed. Lorien matches my steps, easing towards me with the sleekness of a panther, ready to pounce as soon as I make one mistake. He’s waiting for the opportunity and the man is a maelstrom of need and want and lust.
“I want a safe word.”
“No.”
“Lorien, I’m not shitting—”
His jaw tightens. “I said no. You do not need one.”
He moves lightning fast, closing the distance between us and wrapping his hand around my throat. The collar doesn’t protect all of it, and Lorien squeezes as he pushes me back, asserting his absolute dominance without even trying.
“You will do this, and you will learn.” He pushes me onto the bed and I whimper as he climbs on top of me. “You do not need a safe word, and I don’t need chains to keep you bound.”
His body rests on mine, and his heat is undeniable. I feel every movement of every muscle, know every flicker and every twitch as he holds me down. My senses are heightened, and they’re becoming attuned to the man in control, reading him expertly, and worse, they’re responding to perfection.
Lorien smirks and his cock digs into me as he starts to grind. I’m bucking underneath him, trying to find an angle that gives me some relief and I moan when he adjusts himself, bringing our cocks together and letting me experience the heady heat of arousal pulsing through me.
I lift my head and try to kiss Lorien, but he holds himself just out of reach, tantalizingly close and agonizingly far away.
“You’ll behave?” he asks.
I know this ask.
Lorien’s not giving me a choice, not in the real sense of one. He’s making his expectations clear and reminding me of my place. He’s asking for my compliance, for my permission and my obedience, giving me the chance to give it freely before he takes it anyway.
I exhale and close my eyes, trying to find the quiet at the center of the storm raging through me.
Lorien is heat and fire, violence and the calm that follows it, and he’s not the kind of man I ever thought I’d trust. Not when he’s so calculated and vicious, or when he’s so damn dominant that it doesn’t give me time to think.
But there’s a part of me that likes the calm he brings. It craves the stillness of being his and his alone, and all it wants is to let go and relax into that soft, quiet space, certain that Lorien will keep me safe.
Lips ghost over mine and for a moment, I think they’re a dream or the echo of a memory I’m desperate to relive again. Lorien’s kiss is heaven and hell, like fire and ice and the heady mix of pleasure and pain tinged with everything else in between.
“Jude?” he asks, his voice a prayer.
“Master?” I reply, still shaky, still unsure.
His mouth moves over mine and his tongue slips into my mouth, making me gasp as he brings the full force of the ocean down to bear.
Lorien’s kiss is as frenzied as mine was a few days ago, as desperate and fraught, and it contains as much need and want.
It’s just that his is entirely different from mine.
I whine when he draws back and Lorien stares down at me, his golden eyes shimmering with lust as the smirk breaks over his face. His hands release my shoulders and I rise, and in an instant he flips me over, slamming my head down into the mattress.
“Stay fucking still.”
My core trembles with excitement, and I try to hold still as Lorien’s hands stroke my back, exploring the lines and curves of my body. But every sensation is heightened and when he scrapes his claws over me, I quiver, unable to stop myself from moving.
His hand lands on my ass and the burst of pain is a short, sharp reminder of exactly who’s in charge.
“Still, Jude.”
I whimper and he spanks me again, harder this time, making me cry out.
“Quiet.”
One hand resumes its strokes, while the other holds my head down. I breathe quickly, somehow both relaxing and giving in to him while growing increasingly excited. Lorien’s hand catches my ass and I twitch.
His reaction is instant and the pain of the next spank has me on edge, making everything so much more sensitive.
“This is the game we’ll play,” Lorien says, his hand circling my ass. “You will do as you’re told and I’ll decide whether I reward or punish you. Ready?”
Dear God, I’m not.
And I’ve never wanted anything more.
“On your knees.”
Lorien pulls back, giving me the chance to move if I wanted. I’m just not sure if I do, or what he wants me to actually do. I hesitate and it’s not the response he wants, and my ass receives another short, sharp smack on each side as a reward for my disobedience.
“I’m not sure—”
His hand spanks me again and I cry out.
“I don’t know what you want.”
Another smack echoes around the chamber and I moan, lifting my shoulders up and burying my head in the mattress.
“I didn’t ask for perfection. I asked for obedience. So kneel, or your punishment will increase.”
I drag my knee up and push myself up, awkwardly finding a position that’s far from comfortable. I adjust my weight, fidgeting nervously as Lorien moves behind me and only relaxing when he runs his hands down my back.
“Good boy. Now, did you enjoy the pain?” he asks.
I shake my head and he sucks a breath in, letting his claws dig into my ass as he cups it.
“Tell me the truth, Jude. Even if you don’t want to admit it.”
I drop my weight forward and stare at the creases in the sheets, wondering how I’m supposed to answer him.
There are no answers to be found in the sheets beneath me, nor is there anything that guides my thinking.
I didn’t exactly mind it, but I don’t know if I like it.
Not in the way Lorien means, and not when he’ll want to take it to extremes.
“I’m waiting.”
My heart races as I search for a solution. For any way out of this. For anything other than telling him this.
“I don’t know.”
He sighs, disappointed.
“I don’t,” I plead. “Maybe if it’s not too much. Maybe if it's safe.”
“And is that why you hesitate? Because you think I don’t know where the line is?”
God, he knows.
There’s no escape and my heart pounds harder, certain I’ve made a bad situation worse.
“Baby, I know exactly where the line is. And I will never overstep it, even when it’s razor thin.”
I nod, and it’s a cacophony of relief.