Chapter 40 #2
“No, Jude. You are capable of this on your own. Without me. What you have is yours, and what I control is mine, and we belong to each other, in an ever-shifting, always-changing equilibrium.”
His eyes search mine for any trace of doubt, but all I see is a storm of emotions. His fear, his confusion, his awe and excitement. The raw, untamed power thrumming beneath his skin matches how I feel. The way the magic has changed us both.
The silence between us deepens, but it isn’t uncomfortable.
We’re holding onto each other, feeling everything that’s shifting between us, sensing the push and pull between us, and knowing that this moment, as much as any other, could define everything.
I bring my other hand to his face, cupping it gently, unable to resist the need to touch him, to feel the warmth of his skin beneath my fingertips. His eyes flutter closed at the contact, his breath slow and steady.
“Jude,” I say, my voice low, softer now. “You are everything to me. You’ve always been.”
His gaze locks onto mine again, and in it, I see the truth he’s always known, the truth that’s buried beneath all this change, all this fear and confusion.
“I don’t know what the future holds, but I know I want it with you.”
His hand, still holding mine, tightens just slightly. “You’re sure?”
“Baby, you’ve lost your mind if you think I want anything else. Stop being ridiculous.”
He huffs, and even now, even in this intimate moment, where our vulnerabilities are exposed and we build the trust we need to flourish, I’m tempted to spank the defiance out of him.
“Jude?”
“Lorien,” he replies, huffing again.
I shake my head, a smile threatening to break through my sternness, but I don’t let it. Not now. Not when everything in the air feels so delicate, so precious, like Jude could slip away if I give in.
I lean closer, my lips brushing against his ear, my breath warm against his skin.
“You’re a fool if you think I’m ever letting you go. You’re mine, Jude. And I’m not just talking about this life, about the magic, about the power between us. I’m talking about everything. You and me. Forever.”
His throat works as he swallows, the words caught between us, not yet spoken. But I feel the shift in him. His grip tightens on my hand again, this time almost possessively.
“I want you, Jude. But I also want to be bound to you in a way that I’m not sure you’re ready for.”
His brow furrows. “What do you mean?”
“Mer don’t marry. We mate. For life. We exchange rings, and they’re not like the ones humans use.
They’re piercings. They do not come out and they cannot be removed unless one of us is dead.
It’s not a simple commitment, Jude. It’s a promise that is carved into our flesh, into our very being.
A mark that signifies we belong to one another. Forever. No matter what comes.”
His eyes widen and his heart races.
I see his hesitation, and I see the excitement he’s trying to conceal, too.
“Lorien,” he says, taking a stuttered breath. “Exactly where do these rings go?”
I study him, the fire that burns in his eyes, the way his pulse surges. He’s nervous, but not of me. Of the responsibility. Of the consequences. Of what he might have to do to make his commitment.
I smirk. “You know, Jude. You choose mine, and I choose yours. You’ll have a ring and bars down the shaft, and your cock will look so damn pretty it’ll hurt to look away. I’ll have whatever you want me to have.”
“Fuck,” he stutters.
“This is a choice, Jude. You choose me as I’ve chosen you. This isn’t about magic. It isn’t about power. It isn’t about control or submission. It’s far darker. Far more beautiful.”
He breathes out slowly, and for one terrifying second, I think he might back away. That this is all too much for him. That I’ve picked the wrong moment and rushed him when I should have reassured him.
But then his fingers curl around mine, steady and sure.
“I’ve always chosen you,” he says, the rawness in his voice almost too much to bear. “And if this is how we’re meant to be, then I’ll take it.”
I smile, a little wicked, a little relieved.
A lot relieved if I’m honest.
“Once you’re marked, there’s no going back, Jude.”
He nods and leans forward, his lips brushing against mine. The kiss is more than a promise. More than a vow. It’s a binding, a seal that threads our souls together, stronger than any chains. All we are, all we’ve endured, all we will survive, presses down on us, but it isn’t crushing.
It’s empowering. And it’s ours.
His lips are soft, burning with a raw hunger as he kisses me back. He pulls me closer, his hands tracing the lines of my back, memorizing every curve, every inch of me.
“I will have you, Lorien,” he murmurs, his voice low and rich with emotion. “All of you. Forever.”
“You’re sure?” I ask, aware of the irony.
“I’m yours,” he growls. “And I’d burn the world down to stay with you.”
Now, I know. I know that this is no longer just love. This is obsession. This is devotion and it’ll consume us both, pulling us deeper than we ever thought we could go. It’s a bond so powerful that it isn’t just written in flesh, it’s etched into our souls.
And we’re both lost in it.
But somehow, I can’t find it in me to care.
Not when I have him, mind, body, and soul.