34. Crying Bullshit
CRYING BULLSHIT
“ I had a great few weeks here,” his mother said on Saturday morning. “I’m going to miss it not being as hot as it is in Florida.”
“You could stay longer,” Abe said. “You know that.”
“Please,” his mother said, waving her arm. “You wanted me out last week.”
He laughed. “Never.” He turned his head and his mother was staring him down like she had as a kid to see him squirm. Which he did in the truck. “I’m not stupid enough to admit that.”
His mother laughed. “I know that. And you’re itching to see Daphne more. That alone is worth it for me to go home.”
“I am,” he said. “Do you think we could come for Christmas?”
“What?” his mother asked. “Seriously?”
He hadn’t brought it up last night because they had dinner out with Laurel and Easton and then his mother was packing. He knew he had time to talk to her this morning.
“I am,” he said. “I talked to Daphne yesterday. She thought it was funny that someone from Florida would want to come where it was cold and I said I tried to see you.”
“But you don’t want to be away from her at Christmas this year?” his mother asked. “Don’t worry, I won’t be offended that you’d rather be with her than me. I knew that and it’s why I planned on flying back.”
“It’s not a matter of being with one of you more than the other,” he said. “But I did want to be with Daphne. She’d said she’s never been on a vacation before. It’d be nice to give her that, if she can get the time off.”
“That’s nice of you,” his mother said. “You’re always thinking of others.”
He snorted. “Not everyone thinks that.”
His mother frowned. “What does that mean?”
He was debating telling her about Ella.
It’s like he couldn’t get this shit out of his head at times and needed to.
He wanted to tell someone and his choices were limited to his mother and Easton.
Easton would tell him he was being an idiot.
His mother was going to say the same thing, but he had her alone and needed to get it off his chest.
“I went to give a quote on Thursday night. The person is a friend of Ella’s. I had no idea.”
“She brought up Ella’s name?” his mother asked. “To say that is how she knew about you. That’s not the end of the world.”
“No,” he said. “I didn’t think so either. But then Brittany told me that Ella never got over me.”
“I call bullshit,” his mother said firmly and loudly.
He laughed. “I thought the same thing. I even commented on Ella moving on.”
“What did her friend say?”
“That Ella isn’t as happy with Nash as she lets people believe. I didn’t believe it and wasn’t going to sit there talking to her about it. It’s not my way. I thought it was odd that Brittany kept trying to expand my time there though.”
“Don’t tell me Ella showed up,” his mother said, looking appalled.
“She did,” he said. “She was having dinner with her friend. I thought it was a setup, but Ella said not to think that or get mad at Brittany. I was pissed off that I just wasted thirty minutes of my time when I won’t get the job.”
“Do you know that for a fact?” his mother asked.
“No. I’ll still do the work for the quote. I’ll do it tonight when I’m at Daphne’s. Or at least start it. It won’t take long. I could be wrong. Ella even said Brittany has been talking about doing this for years.”
“Add ten percent to the price for the frustration of having to deal with what happened,” his mother said with her eyes raised.
He laughed. “You’re nicer than me. I was thinking fifteen percent.”
“That’s my boy,” his mother said. “So what did the bitch have to say this time?”
“Mom,” he said. “That’s not nice.”
“You’re too nice,” his mother said. “But whatever.”
He smirked. “She said she couldn’t get me out of her mind. That we were good together.”
“Not to sound like a broken record.”
“I know,” he said. “You’re crying bullshit.”
“Yes, I am.”
“Did she actually say that?” his mother asked.
“She did. I cut her off as quickly as I could. She said that she was focused on the wrong things when I said we weren’t good together. I know I didn’t feel that way. I felt like a failure.”
“Don’t you dare say that about yourself,” his mother said. “None of that was your fault. You gave her more than you needed to.”
“It wasn’t enough.”
“Because you weren’t meant and it took you a long time to realize it.”
“I just wanted something,” he said. “Guess I was focused on the wrong things too. We were both at fault.”
Which was why he wasn’t going to be a dick about things with Ella.
“I can say you weren’t at fault as your mother,” his mother said. “And I’m going to stand by it. Your biggest mistake was the fact that you took her back not once, but twice. Once I guess I could understand. The second, I couldn’t. Not when there was so much time in between.”
“I was an idiot,” he said.
“Yep, you were, but you loved her,” his mother said. “I get it.”
“I didn’t love her like I do Daphne. I know that now. I wish I knew it back then and could have saved us both the frustration.”
“I don’t give a shit about her frustration and you shouldn’t either.”
He loved how protective his mother was. “I don’t really.”
“Did you tell Ella that you were with someone else?” his mother asked.
“No,” he said.
His mother smacked his arm. “Why not?”
“I just wanted to get away from her. I’m not one for being a jerk or rubbing someone’s nose in things.”
“That’s not being a jerk,” his mother said. “You could have said you both had someone else and it was for the best, then got in your truck and drove away.”
“I could have,” he said. “But I didn’t. I wanted to get away from her and put it behind me. Yet here I am talking to you about it.”
“Because you need to get it off your chest. That’s not a bad thing. She only wants you because the company is getting so big now,” his mother said. “I guarantee it.”
“I’m not that stupid,” he said. “I know that. I also got thinking that it’d be better if she found out from someone else that I was with Daphne. Let her be blindsided by it. By me not saying anything means that I don’t put a lot of thought into her.”
“Could have fooled me,” his mother said dryly.
His shoulders slumped, but at least he had the excuse to keep his eyes on the road rather than look at his mother’s annoyed expression.
“You know what I mean. I didn’t want to talk to her. I said a few words and moved on. I wasn’t even nice. I didn’t smile once.”
“Which is saying a lot for you.”
“Mom, I got burned more than I should have. I’m done with her. I don’t even want to talk to her. I wish her well like I would anyone else, but nothing more than I’d wish my old high school math teacher well too.”
His mother laughed. “I guess you can’t not be who you are. Did you tell Daphne about Ella?”
“I did,” he said. “I didn’t tell her I saw Ella on Thursday. There was no reason to. It didn’t mean enough and might cause issues.”
Why put thoughts or insecurities in Daphne’s head when there didn’t need to be?
“So you’re protecting Daphne or yourself?” his mother asked.
“Maybe both,” he said.
“I’m not going to tell you what to do,” his mother said.
“Why stop now?” he asked sarcastically. “You’ve been doing it for years.”
He turned his head to laugh at his mother’s smirk. “I have been telling you for years. But you know what you want. I have to hope you stick to it.”
“I will,” he said. “Ella means nothing to me. She was part of my past that helped shape me now. I know what I need in my life and I’ve got it. I won’t do anything to lose it either.”
“You better not.”