Chapter 10
BLAZING ACROSS THE LINE
LUKE
I don’t let women sleep with me.
I definitely don’t sleep with them.
I get the fuck up and leave as soon as I’m done fucking them and I make absolutely sure there is no cuddling. Especially not the part where they press themselves into me and cling on, sighing and snoring and making adorable noises.
Nia is making all of them and more, and her fingers massage my chest as she kneads me in her sleep. She’s curled up like a goddamn puppy and she’s even more adorable like this than she was before.
It’s sickening.
She lifts her head and her eyes half-open, and I exhale when she closes them and rests on me again. My hands stroke her back before I can stop myself and I freeze, simultaneously uncomfortable at the thought of starting again and the thought of leaving her unsettled.
She snores and it’s a sharp contrast to the thoughts of her that are flooding through my mind. Nia’s silky smooth and mellow, gooey and fluffy like spun sugar. Her being is so pink and fuzzy that it’s absorbing all my sharp edges and rendering them incapable of hurting her.
Fucking hell, this is a disaster.
I’m going soft.
I almost gave in to her temptation.
I won’t allow myself to become my father. Not when the pack depends on me. Not when there’s no one else to take over.
Nia isn’t my mate and she isn’t my friend. She’s my enemy’s daughter and she’s a vicious instrument. She’s caused so much damage that it’s impossible to quantify all the hurt and pain she’s caused. She’s a menace. A curse and a plague combined into one. A cold-hearted bitch.
I chastise myself for falling asleep with such a vicious creature. The girl could have killed me and I won’t make the same mistake again. I won’t allow myself to feel anything close to sympathy or understanding for the wretched girl again.
She’s a scourge and the only reason I haven’t killed her is because she might be useful to me. To the pack. As long as the priest is right about her giving me strong heirs.
He doesn’t need to be right about her being my mate.
She doesn’t need to be my mate.
I don’t need to accept her.
All I have to do is fuck her until she’s bred.
I stare into the darkness in front of us and wonder how I’m going to walk that line.
I’ll be fighting with myself as much as with her, disgusted and excited in equal measure.
Mixing pleasure and pain is a dance I’ve enjoyed before, but this is different.
This is a duel between my wolf, my enemy and myself, and I have no intention of losing it.
The moon shines down and its dim glow brings me little relief. It’ll be full soon and I’ll want to run. The pack will crave the freedom of the wild and I’ll be faced with another dilemma.
I clench my teeth and decide the girl can’t come.
The pack doctors might think she needs the wild but it’s too risky.
She’s too weak and her wolf isn’t part of the pack, and it’s far too big of a gamble.
Nia could hurt herself or, worse, someone else could get hurt because of her and I won’t allow her to take anyone else from me.
Not again.
Never again.
The hushed knock at the door interrupts my thoughts and I turn my head, focusing on the hand creeping around the door frame.
Cole slips into Nia’s room and my hackles rise as my rage sparks.
He’s dared to trespass into this space and after this morning’s debacle, it’s an intrusion I’m far from happy about.
“I thought you didn’t like her?”
“I don’t.”
Cole edges forward and his eyes shimmer in the moonlight. “Could have fooled me, Luke.” He stops, noticing the tension in my muscles and the way my hand has clenched. “We need to talk. Without the girl.”
I nod and Cole steps back, retreating to the safety of the doorway.
Nia makes the kind of sound that I’d like if she were my mate, and I don’t like it, proving she isn’t the part of my soul I’m missing. I sigh, relieved, and move slowly, carefully lifting her as I sit up. She stirs a little and I wait until she settles before I get up and place her in the bed.
Too carefully for my liking, and not carefully enough for Lawson’s.
“She needs to rest.”
“She wouldn’t need to if you hadn’t forced yourself on her earlier.”
My wolf wags his tail in amusement. “I wasn’t the one who forced myself on her, Luke. She’s still yours—unless you want me to fuck her for you.”
I growl and Cole stares at me.
Nia shuffles in the bed and her leg stretches out from under the duvet I’ve just tucked her underneath. It’s long and lithe and it glistens in the moonlight. My eyes follow the trail of starlight up her thigh and I want to see what’s lurking higher up.
“We could fuck her now, Luke. She’d stop fighting and let you fuck her. You know she’ll enjoy it.”
It’d be so easy to find out and the girl wouldn’t be able to stop me.
I’d fill her with my come and if I’m lucky she might get bred on the first time.
On the other hand, I might get lucky in a different way and have to breed her over and over until that pussy of hers has no choice but to get pregnant with my pups.
“You want to fuck her,” Lawson says. “Imagine how wet her cunt will be when your cock sinks into it. I want to see her perfect pussy after you’ve made it swell and our come’s dripping from it.”
“Not now.”
“She’s going to feel so good clenched around your cock. Fuck her and she’ll be yours. You can train her to be your fucking perfect fuck toy and she’ll learn to please you. Only you. I know you want it, Luke. I know you want to fuck her until she screams your fucking name.”
My hand reaches for her silky skin and I stop, hesitating before crossing a line from which there’s no coming back.
“Luke.”
Cole’s voice draws me back to my goddamn senses and I shake my head, walking away from the edge of sanity and the girl who almost made me descend into madness.
I creep away and check she’s still fine one last time before I pull the door closed.
It clicks and the relief of having something between me and Nia is palpable.
I’m unburdened and I instantly relax, finally freed from the strain of being in the same room as her.
My feet trudge underneath me and I follow my Beta in a trance, ending up in my office without being aware of how I got here.
“She’s pretty, Luke.” Cole pours two large bourbons and hands me one of them. “How are you doing?”
“Fine.” I neck the liquor and it’s obvious I’m not. “What’s so goddamn urgent, Cole?”
My best friend sits down and swirls his liquor around his glass. His eyes darken as the ambers and oranges come alive, and for a moment the contrast between the darkness in him and the light in his glass is perfection.
“Her father notified The Council.”
The liquid stops moving and I sit, turning my chair to face Cole.
He’s serious and he thinks this is bad. He’s usually right about things like this but we knew that her father would resort to notifying the assholes who run The Council sooner or later.
Admittedly, it’s a surprise he’s turned to them so soon, but this was inevitable.
“And?”
Cole’s eyebrow arches in reply.
“We knew he’d go running to those cunts with his tail between his legs sooner or later.” I lean across the table and pour myself another glass. “We’ve got this covered. Our friend on The Council takes care of things like this for us.”
“He didn't and we don’t.” Cole stiffens and downs another mouthful of his drink. “Bastan's demanded the law be upheld and for the first time the assholes are going to do it.”
I stare at the bourbon and smirk.
“It’s not a joke, Luke. Bastan demanded a fucking search party and he’s got one. Made up of the Elite Guards.” He slams his glass onto the table. “They’re starting with the Lightclaw pack and they won’t keep our secret. Not forever. Not for long enough to keep Nia safe.”
Cole’s right to be concerned. The law is one thing but the Elite Guards are quite another.
They’re ruthless assholes, hellbent on maintaining their reputation and the hierarchy, usually in that order of priority.
They’ve been known to tear packs to shreds, including the children, for minor infractions for no better reason than their status was questioned by a few low-ranking wolves.
They’re vicious, nasty bastards.
Alphas keep out of their fucking way and know better than to cross them.
We keep our packs in check to make damn sure the Elites don’t interfere with them and this is a problem of epic proportions.
Nia’s father has more influence than I thought and I wonder how he persuaded the Elites to get involved.
He must know some really dark secrets to have pulled this off. I've made damn sure I've got enough friends with influence on The Council to keep them out of my way, and yet Bastan's managed to circumvent them. That's a problem, and in more ways than one.
Not one of the Alphas on The Council would have supported his claim unless he had something over them, and they wouldn’t have sent the Elites to bring her back unless it was worth their while.
That means Bastan is even more of a bastard than we realized, and his daughter is even more trouble than I thought.
“They won’t stop. Not until they’ve found her and destroyed the pack who took her.”
My teeth grind.
“Claim her, Luke.”
My eyebrow arches.
“Not as a breeder. The Council won’t stand for it. It’s too late now the Elites are involved.” Cole picks his glass up again and downs the rest of his drink, presumably hoping to find some courage in it. “You have to accept Nia as your mate and equal, Luke. They’ll destroy us if you don’t.”
I shake my head and rail against the audacity of my second. He’s blazed across the line as if it never existed and he’s pushing every one of my goddamn buttons. Earlier today, he damn near murdered the girl.
Now, he wants me to accept her as my other half.
As my partner.
As my Luna and my equal.
“SHE’S NOTHING.”
I hurl my glass across the room and the crystal shatters as it collides with one of the walls.
“You’re not behaving like she’s nothing, Luke. You’ve got to put what happened behind you. If the Elders read the divinations right, and she's your mate, then you have to accept her Luke.”
My eyes narrow as I stare at the liquid running down the wall. Its amber catches the firelight and its glisten catches my attention. The trickles run as chaotically as the thoughts pulsing through me and Lawson lurks in the shadows, unwilling to revisit past hurts and old wounds.
“What she did can’t be undone, Luke.”
“What she did can’t be forgiven either, Cole.”
He leans forward and tries to soften. Cole’s trying to do what he’s always done but there’s no way to make this easier for me. Not when we’re back here again. Not now we’re having this conversation again. Not when I’m this riled and my wolf is ready to rip him limb from fucking limb.
His wolf is primed, ready to meet mine and defend himself. And he doesn’t shy away, choosing to face me head-on.
“Nia was a child, Luke. She’d have been terrified and any semblance of control she had would have slipped...”
“ARE YOU DEFENDING HER?”
I stare at Cole and I’m damned if I know whether my wolf or I am in charge. We’re both so angry it’s hard to say and Cole simply sits there, refusing to move. He’s refusing to submit and it only makes my rage hotter.
“Yes, Alpha.”
“I beg your fucking pardon?”
He swallows. “You heard me, Luke. Nia was a kid. You can’t blame her for what happened. Not when she’s your mate. Your father shouldn’t have tried to force things and she must have been terrified. She wouldn’t have understood…”
My hand whips across my desk and papers fly into the air. I’m beyond incandescent and my body sails through the air as ornaments crash onto the floor. My hands grasp Cole’s shirt as I clear the table and my weight shoves him back, sending him flying backward and he lands hard.
“TRAITOR.”
He snarls and the darkness tells me Elias is in control.
“Protect the pack, Alpha. Even from you.”
I snarl and my teeth bare, threatening to shred the flesh from Cole’s face.
Elias growls back and I catch my reflection in the mirror of his pitch-black irises, horrified by the violence I’m bringing to bear on my best friend.
I’m incensed, I’m incandescent. I’m so far beyond livid that there isn’t a word that could contain the anger and the hate and the sheer damn viciousness I’ve become.
I am hell and its fury. I’m beyond salvation. I’m out of control and I’m going to harm someone, and it might not matter who.
I shove Cole back and release my grip, getting to my feet and racing for the door. He screams my name, trying to calm me and call me back to him.
But it’s too late.
I’m irrevocably lost. Too primal and primeval to contain. My instincts have turned feral and there’s no holding them back now. There’s no containing the monster that lives within me.
And I let go, surrendering to the dark and slipping into its comfort as agony tears through me.
My muscles rip and my tendons tear as my bones shatter and break to rearrange themselves.
I sit back as Lawson takes control and my wolf races out of the house in the form he was born to inhabit.
It’s magnificent and terrifying in equal measure, and I barely even flinch as his paws pound the ground, carrying us into the forest and the wild that it contains.