Chapter 23
Feeling numb after yet another sleepless night, I keep sitting in the Junkyard, waiting for the sun to rise and the second term to officially begin. On autopilot, I keep trying to summon those powers I supposedly exhibited at the first-term exam.
I’m a shifter and I can…
I’m a fae and I can…
I’m a vampire and I can…
Nothing happens, not even my imagination starting to work.
I’ve been trying for a whole month, during the entire winter break, with absolutely no success, so why would anything happen now?
“You’re absolutely useless,” I tell my wolf, but I only get silence in response.
I let out a sigh. Only an hour, that’s how much time I have left before I have to make my decision, and I’m no closer to making one than I was before the break.
If I listened to Serra, I’d just do it.
If I listened to Bane, I’m guessing I’d tell them all to fuck themselves.
As if on cue, there’s the infuriating tangle of powerful emotions that rises to the surface as soon as he pops into my mind. I haven’t had any contact with him since the Order meeting, but I have found myself typing his name into my browser countless times, wondering what he’s doing, where and who with, and whether I ever cross his mind like he does mine.
It’s annoying as hell, especially when I fail to stop myself from getting caught in that same old vicious circle, the one I’ve been a victim of ever since the night of the Ball.
It starts with random, uninvited flashes — the eyes, the mouth closing over my nipple, how it felt to have him inside me… It unfailingly leads to this unbearable urge, not just to have it happen again, but to go and tell him exactly how out-of-this-world that experience was for me, and to ask him, well…
I don’t know what I’d ask. Maybe the same thing I wondered after that night in the forest. Is that just what it feels like for a shifter?
Of course, that only makes me imagine him turning insufferable, being all like, “You telling me I’m not just your number-one asshole, Novak?”
Or even worse, it gets me deeper into the vicious circle — remembering what he told me after the Order meeting. Struggling as it is… Whenever I remember that, it gets the memories of the Sobbing Lake rewritten into a story of a struggling woman letting herself get carried away with an asshole who obviously did want to have sex with her, maybe still does, but who’d laugh in her face if he knew what kind of stuff was going through her head.
That’s the moment I usually renew my decision of staying the hell away from him from now on, because that’s not how I do things. I don’t obsess, I don’t fret, I don’t read into things. I take what I want and I move on.
Besides… I haven’t the slightest idea what will happen to my special classes, but my life has become immensely more complicated than it was before the night of the Ball. I don’t need any other nerve-wracking complications thrown into the mix.
Therefore, what I should do right now is to stop letting him pop into my head like this and start focusing on the future.
The Aurora.
It would explain the visions. It would mean they’re flashes of memories from my past lives. They did say the Aurora is a being that endlessly reincarnates.
Still… Me? Was there ever a more pitiful shifter, let alone all three in one? And what, I’m supposed to defeat some Old Norse god?
Yeah, laugh about it, I scorn myself. It’s such a laughable matter. The pictures they showed me flash through my mind. Then the drawing, with the pattern that according to Raven can only be a representation of my tattoos, and the symbols which I’ve come to the conclusion can only be a representation of a ritual.
One which I don’t know how to decipher, not even to see what it is, let alone find out what it does.
What am I supposed to do with that?
It makes my hand dart to my jacket pocket, where I keep the copies of the only things I found while doing my research. The fairy tale itself — the useless Sleeping Beauty. Information on Baldur, also useless. Yeah, lists and lists of hints that the Aurora could be a sacrificial figure, in the end.
I don’t feel prepared to think about it, but that’s the question that’s been plaguing me. If this is all real, does it mean I’ll have to sacrifice my life, no matter what happens?
It doesn’t help my mood, when I hear someone walking down the hallway bordering with the Junkyard and I see it’s Lorcan.
It’s the way that he throws a glance at me, that makes me feel this is no accident.
They’re keeping their eyes on me.
Right now, I really don’t like feeling watched, so I move to get up and go back to my room, when I hear another pair of footsteps, two in fact, and my eyes land on Raven and Alaric entering the Junkyard.
They walk up to me in silence, coming to stand in front of my bench. I’ve filled them in already, when I returned from my wanderings yesterday, but I was beat and we haven’t really had a chance to talk at length.
“Do you think it could be true?” I ask them.
“What’s the alternative?” Raven says.
I shrug. “They’re lying to me. I don’t know why they’d do that, but—” I break off, spotting Lorcan again. “Look at him,” I say as soon as he turns the corner, “getting ready to pounce.”
There’s a second of silence before Alaric asks, “Where’d you disappear to, Anna?”
My eyes are still fixed on the spot where I saw Lorcan disappear. It’s weighing on me, all those things I’ve never shared with anyone, that seem so important now. “I’ve a question for you two,” I say as I turn to look at them. “Have you ever touched something and felt yourself be transported someplace else?”
Alaric frowns. “Afraid not.”
I nod pensively. “When I was eight years old,” I start, the images flashing through my mind, “we went to visit this museum with the school. I remember being so excited because this boy from my class, he said we’d get to see a mummy. Real-life mummy. It’s only later, when I connected the dots — you know, some mummies being vampires in deep sleep — that I did a bit of research on the one they took us to see. All my research said it was magic gone wrong, nothing to be done to wake this particular vampire up.”
“What does this have to do with you, Anna?” Raven asks.
“I wasn’t supposed to, you know, but I had this obsession with touching stuff that I felt were old, and so I lingered next to the mummy as the rest of the class moved on, and I touched it.”
I see Alaric’s eyebrows shoot up.
“I don’t think it matters what I saw. It’s all a blur now anyway. Flashes of war and glimpses of strange magic and stuff like that.”
An image of my mother’s listless eyes appears in front of me. I let out an awkward laugh. “When I told this person what I’d seen, she said I have an overactive imagination. That everyone gets flashes like that, it’s just images in your brain.”
“I believe what you’re describing is a vision,” Raven says matter-of-factly.
“Yeah. I guess it could be. They’re only getting more vivid these days.”
“What if it is true, Anna?” Alaric asks. “What will you do?”
“As if I have a choice.”
“They told you you do.”
“Oh,” I drawl mockingly, “so I should just keep going to classes, talking about exams with the two of you and ignoring the threat the world is under?” I shake my head. “No, I don’t have a choice,” I say. “So the question is not whether I’ll be dealing with this. It’s whether I can trust these people.”
I get up, feeling as if I’ve finally found something that will help me make my decision.
“You keep this for a while,” I tell Alaric as I hand him the book with the drawing, I’d like to make sure it stays safe.” He nods. “Now, I’m off to the meeting. Would you like to come with me?”
***
It’s fifteen to eight when the three of us step onto the seventh-floor landing of the Grimm Tower, finding Bane leaning against the wall with his arms folded, watching us intently.
They throw me off and make me slow down — the pale skin, the dark rings around his eyes, this stiffness in his muscles. It must be that merger I read about taking its toll on him.
Why is he here though?
It’s only when he tears himself off the wall — throwing a glance at my friends — that it hits me. He’s supposed to attend this meeting as well. Damn it. Even if they stop requiring me to come to special classes, it seems I’ll still have to put in that request to get assigned to someone else.
Bracing myself, I turn to Alaric and Raven to ask them to wait for me. There’s a frown on Alaric’s face, but we come to an agreement without exchanging a word. I watch them go sit on one of the benches along the wall, then walk straight over to him.
“Business not going too well, Bane?” I ask, forcing a lightness into my tone. It’s only when he scowls at me that I realize I’m not being funny, I’m being insensitive. “Sorry,” I blurt out, “I wasn’t trying to—”
“Doesn’t matter,” he cuts me off. “We need to talk, Novak.”
“I’m just about to step into a super important meeting,” I say with a smile, insisting on keeping things light.
He’s still dead serious when he says, “That’s what I’m here to discuss.”
Ah. He’s probably worried he’ll have to keep babysitting me because of all the Aurora crap. I don’t want to get into the matter of switching professors before I actually manage to pull it off, but I have to say something. “Well… ‘discussing’ is what the meeting is all for, isn’t it?” I tell him with a smile.
He observes me for a second, biting back on something. “Fine.”
I nod and move to walk away.
He comes to block me, seemingly hesitating for a moment. “And where exactly did you go after the last one?” he asks.
“What do you mean?” I ask with a frown. “I left for winter break, like everyone else.”
He lets out a scoff. “You said you needed to be alone. That doesn’t imply disappearing for a whole month.”
I just blink at him, my mind starting to reel when I get this strong impression he’s expecting me to address what happened at the Sobbing Lake.
“Well?” he demands.
“I can’t get involved with anyone right now,” I blurt out.
He frowns. “Involved?” he echoes, something I can’t put a finger on twisting his features.
Disgust? “No, sorry, I—”
For the first time in my entire life, I’m glad to hear Lorcan’s voice. “Miss Novak,” he calls out, making me turn to see him frowning from the Lounge doorway. “If you’d be so kind so as not to waste anyone’s time.”
I only throw another glance at Bane before I turn to Raven and Alaric, raising my eyebrows in a plea for them to follow me inside.
They do, and so does Bane.
When the three of us enter the Lounge, I find Lorcan and Serra already seated around the table. “You know,” Lorcan frowns as he glances at my friends, “you can’t just bring whoever you want.”
“I think you’ll find that I can,” I reply simply. “Would you wait for me here for a minute?” I turn to ask Raven and Alaric.
Alaric nods.
I don’t take a seat, I look at Serra and ask, “Professor Naehorn, might I have a word?”
Lorcan and her exchange a look, but then she gets up and as Raven, Alaric and Bane take their seats, we step out of the room.
I don’t hesitate. If I do, I won’t get any of this done. “Why didn’t you tell me as soon as you started suspecting I’m the Aurora or whatever?”
She shrugs. “I wasn’t allowed to,” she replies simply.
“How convenient for you.”
There’s a moment of silence before she says, “I’ll have you know that none of this is convenient for me, Miss Novak.”
I just look at her for a second. “So you’re in the Order.”
She nods. “Yes, I have been for many years. I just never thought we’d be getting the summons, not during my lifetime at least.”
I squint at her. “How come there hasn’t been an Aurora in such a long time?”
“I will be giving you that information as soon as I get my hands on it.”
“There hasn’t been any indication that she will show up again?”
She lets out a sigh, signaling to me that she’s about to say something she’s not very proud of. “There has, in the prophecy we mentioned to you the last time we saw each other. It didn’t just make us believe this could be the year it finally happened. It also made us believe the Academy would be the place we’d find you,” she adds with a glance around the room, “due to its ancient magic drawing you to it.”
Wow, this puts a whole different spin on my desire to be in this place. “And when it turned out I was a shifter…”
“Yes,” she says with a nod. “Lorcan and I notified the Order and we all started preparing for the awakening of your powers.” It’s with a sorry look in her eyes that she urges, “But we didn’t want to put any unnecessary strain on you, in case we turned out to be wrong.”
I think for a second. “Fine,” I reply, pushing myself to keep going. “I want you to tell me, right now, what you’ll be asking of me.” There’s a pause during which I’m mustering the courage to say it out loud. “Am I supposed to die? Is this all leading to some sacrificial ritual, with me as the lamb going to slaughter?”
It’s with a smile and a shake of her head that she says, “No, Miss Novak. You’re supposed to awaken your powers and get ready to confront Baldur.”
My choice would be the same, but this makes me breathe an audible sigh of relief.
“Oh,” Serra starts, “I wouldn’t be jumping for joy if I were you. Just think of what it’s doing to you — becoming a shifter after a lifetime of being a human — and multiply that by three.”
“Why not avoid it altogether then?” I demand, a little more harshly than I would’ve liked to.
“What do you mean?” she asks with a frown.
“What even are these Baldur’s pieces?”
She presses her lips tight, shaking her head. “We can’t be sure, but we believe they’re the four parts of him that remained imbued with his powers even after he got dismembered. A lock of hair, a rib, the heart and a fang.”
“Alright, so why not stop him from showing up in the first place?”
“Let’s go,” she says with a smile, “I’ll let Lorcan fill you in.”
I nod, but I hesitate.
“We will be doing everything in our power to help you as much as we can,” Serra urges. “You know that, don’t you?”
“I guess I’m willing to believe you,” I say as I look away with a sigh.
“So you will be working with us, Miss Novak?” she asks.
I take a deep breath. At least her I seem to be able to trust. “Yes,” I reply with determination. Then I force myself to give her a smile. “And Anna’s fine.”
She nods contently and motions for me to follow her back inside.
“Before we start,” Lorcan asks as soon as we take our seats, “I’ll just ask if maybe you’ve already made your decision, Miss Novak.”
I only hesitate for a second before I say, “Actually, I have.”
I feel Bane’s eyes fix on my profile, Lorcan raising his eyebrows at me.
“The answer is yes. I’ll be working with you.”
With the corner of my eye, I catch Bane shift in his chair as if he’s about to cut in. But he doesn’t say a word, almost instantly leaning back.
“Perfect,” Lorcan says. “This is how it’s going to work, Miss Novak,” he starts in his most official voice. “I’m the Head of the Grimm Academy section of the Order and as such, I’ll be the one making decisions about your further education. You’ll keep going to regular classes, but from now on, you’ll be required to go through even more materials in your spare time.”
Just as I open my mouth to ask what any of that has to do with the evil ancient vampire, he explains, “These will have to do with our task of finding the sites of the remaining three dormant pieces of Baldur. We’ll be sifting through information on potential locations, mostly cursed sites in selected parts of Europe. Any time we find something, the location will be investigated by the members of the Order. Understood?”
“Yes.”
He gives a nod. “Serra has convinced me to allow you to keep your part-time role at the Library, but we will also require you to train more regularly. As for your mentor—”
Shit. “How often will we have to train?” I cut in. I didn’t exactly imagine making my request to replace Bane while in a meeting that he himself is attending.
Lorcan’s eyebrows shoot up at the interruption, but he just clears his throat and says, “It’s up to you really, but I believe once a week should be the bare minimum.”
I glance at Bane, who just gives me a somber nod.
To my relief, Lorcan doesn’t get into it any further. Obviously content with the arrangement, he just keeps droning on about my new schedule and all the things we’ll be covering.
I struggle concentrating. I hope this was a good idea. But even if it turns out not to be, I have a plan B.
I won’t just be waiting for that Baldur guy to just show up.
When they give me access to the Lexarcanum book — which they will have to now, maybe I won’t learn anything new.
When I manage to decipher that ritual, maybe it won’t help me in any way, but I will find a way to prevent him from awakening in the first place, if it’s the last thing I do.
I won’t let any of this derail my future.