Chapter 15
Zara was lovely in every single way except for the fact she was unable to stop binge drinking. As we sat in the bar, this time she was having mojitos. This was only our second official date, I knew, but I really liked her. Given my previous dating history, finding a woman who wanted a second date with me was a miracle, and the fact I liked her too was like the second coming.
“You’re enjoying those, aren’t you? That’s your third in an hour,” I noted, starting to feel a tad frustrated as to why she needed to be drunk in my company. Maybe she hadn’t wanted a second date with me after all, but was simply in need of a boyfriend and could put up with me if inebriated.
“Ahhh. I’m testing a theory,” she said, tapping the side of her nose. “I will tell you about it, but it’s still in the early stages. You’ll like it though because it’s connected to cleaning.”
Now I was even more confused. But other than her drinking, she seemed perfect. I took a deep breath, having made the decision that it was time to show her who I really was.
“Would you like to come back to mine tonight instead for a coffee?” I asked her.
She looked at me, with a frown. “Sorry, I can’t. I need to be at mine for the experiment.”
I sat back, my shoulders slumping. “Oh, well, maybe I could just show you where I live? Then I can make sure you get home safe…” where you can no doubt pass out drunk again.
“Yeah, why not? I’d like to see where you live, Ryan Gosling,” she slurred. “I’m just going to get another drink.”
“My name’s B—”
She’d gone. Already almost at the bar. Maybe she wasn’t the one for me after all? Perhaps this time the Seer had been wrong?
* * *
After Zara had finished her fourth cocktail and was swaying while trying to exit the bar, I told her about the twenty-minute walk to my house.
“It’s on the edge of the woods? Are you sure you’re not taking me to have some Lady Chatterley-type sex up against a tree?” She giggled.
Ordinarily, a female making such a suggestive comment would have had my dick hard, but I was too stressed about what was going to happen when she found out I was Fae. For now, I would keep my glamour, though I’d have to be my normal height when home, and as a guest of the dell, Zara would shrink down as soon as she entered our enchanted woodland.
As we got to the edge of the woods, I took a deep breath. “So, I never took a female from Withernsea home before. This is the first time I’ll have introduced a girlfriend to the rest of the dell.”
She looked at me and swayed again. “Girlfriend! You called me your girlfriend! Yay. I shall be happy to meet the rest of the dell, boyfriend.” Zara’s eyes widened. “I’m not meeting your parents tonight, am I?”
I laughed. “No. You might see some of my friends though.”
Zara put her arm through mine. “Let’s go. I’m cold. I hope your place is warm.”
I liked the feel of her arm through mine. There was definitely a connection between us. Unfortunately, there was also her alcohol-infused breath near my nose. I thought I might get drunk from the fumes alone.
I hesitated some more. “So, I guess this is where I need to tell you something.”
She let go of my arm and backed away. “I knew this was too good to be true. A lovely, attractive man calling me his girlfriend. You’re going to murder me, aren’t you?”
I shook my head, “Err, no.”
“Promise?”
“Ohhkay, I promise not to murder you.”
“Cross your heart.”
I made the action.
“Phew. So, erm, are you unable to have sex, Boone?”
“Pardon?”
“I don’t mean right this minute. Just in general. Do you have a penis that works?”
“Y-es.”
She shrugged. “Then tell me anything. There’s nothing you can say that’ll put me off. I like you, Boone. I like you a lot.”
At least she’d got my name right this time.
“I’m a faerie,” I told her.
Zara dropped down onto her knees and wailed. “How can life be so cruel? I meet the most gorgeous man and he likes other men.”
I grasped her hand and pulled her to her feet. “I’m not gay. I’m a Brownie. A male faerie. You know, the type that has wings, flies, and lives in a small house within a tree.”
She nodded. “Okay, I think I’m having a reaction to the mojitos, but this is better than you being gay; from my point of view that is. It’s perfectly fine for you to be gay if I wasn’t interested, but I am and so I most definitely don’t want you to be. Did you say you live in a treehouse? I once stayed in one of those with my family in Center Parcs. Where’s yours?”
“It’s just through here. I need to warn you though… as soon as we step over these small stones you will shrink.”
“Huh?” she sighed. “My head’s hurting. I think I need to lie down. There’ll be a sofa or bed in your treehouse. Let’s go. Show me the place. I always wanted one as a kid, but my parents said a firm no. I was chunky and they didn’t want an earthquake when I fell out my dad said. Cos I was clumsy too. Clumshy and shunky. Because I like biscuits. Like I would marry a biscuit if it was possible. Probably a jammy dodger.”
At this point, I felt I’d made a dreadful mistake. I should have confronted Zara about her drinking before ever bringing her here. But she was here now, so I might as well continue.
We stepped over the stones and the enchantment kicked in. Zara blinked around fourteen times while nodding her head like she was trying to dislodge what she was seeing. “Whoa. I never took drugs before. Did you slip something in my drink? Is this what people experience when high?”
“No. I told you, I’m Fae. It’s the fact you’ve been drinking that’s confusing you from accepting the truth. I’d better get you some coffee before I show you around.”
“I’m sorry… about being so drunk. There is a reashon. I promish.”
I sighed. “It’s probably better if I take you home after I’ve got you a coffee. Listen though, and this is very important. Do not eat anything here. Not yet. Because if you eat faerie food you’ll be stuck here, and I want you to make that choice voluntarily.”
Zara’s mouth opened wide. “Ohhh noooo. I’ve had fairy cakes. My mum used to make them, so I’ve fucked it.”
“Human baking doesn’t count, so it’s okay,” I reassured her. Now, let’s get you breathing properly before you pass out. Innnn, outttt, innnn, ouuut.”
We approached my tree. “This is where I live.” I nodded my head towards the little green door that you wouldn’t notice unless you were Fae.
“It’s sho pretty.” Zara followed me inside, up the winding staircase and into my living room. “This is ammmaaashziing,” she exclaimed, looking at all the hand-carved furniture. “Better than my childhood doll’s house by heaps.”
“Let me get you that coffee,” I said. “Go have a look around the place if you like.”
I saw her looking in awe and hurried to the kitchen where I made her a very strong black coffee.
Clutching her drink, I found Zara in my bedroom, fast asleep on the bed. I wanted to say she looked beautiful, her long blonde hair fanned out on the pillow, but in actual fact, she’d obviously face-planted, and loud snores came from her. Her hair wasn’t fanned, but more a tangled mess—a bit like the rest of her.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I sighed. “What am I going to do with you, sleeping beauty?”
After an hour had passed, I gently woke her as she would have to leave soon. Visitations couldn’t be long in our dell, not unless the person intended to stay.
A groggy Zara turned around, looked at me through one open eye and squinted. “Oh, we’re in your house. You’ll never guess what? I dreamed we were fairies and all tiny.” She laughed. “Oh, shit. I slept here. Did I clean up your house, Boone?”
My brow furrowed. She thought we were normal-sized with everything being in proportion to her tiny body. “Erm, no, you just slept. I mean, why would you clean? Cleaning’s not your thing, right?”
“Yes, usually, but I’ve been experimenting because the other night, well two different nights, when I’ve had a lot of vodka and coke, I’ve found the house clean the next day. I’ve even written myself a note saying, ‘Thank you’!” She rubbed at her forehead. “It looks like it is just vodka and coke then because the mojitos didn’t work.”
I exhaled a deep sigh. “So that’s why you’ve been drinking so much? I thought you had an alcohol problem. I was going to talk to you about getting help.”
Watching her face, I saw when she realised what she must have been like. “Shit. Was it really obvious I’d had a drink?”
“Yeah, especially when you did Karaoke earlier in the bar, despite there being no microphone and no Karaoke night. And then I had to fake our engagement after you chose Bruno Mars ‘Marry You’ to sing.”
Her face paled. “Oh my god, how embarrassing. I am so sorry.”
I winked. “I’m just messing with you.”
“Oooh.” She threw a pillow at me. “Right, I guess there’s no rush for me to go back to my own house now is there? Could you make me a fresh coffee?” she asked.
“Sure and then I’m going to take you home,” I stated.
Zara looked disappointed.
“It’s not that I want to. But call me old-fashioned. When we spend the night together, I want it to be perfect. Not my girlfriend having passed out drunk. Let me show you around my house again, get you that coffee, and then I’ll take you home.”
I made her a fresh coffee and then after she freshened up in the bathroom, we made our way downstairs. Opening the door, I stepped outside, and she followed me.
Then as she took in her surroundings and gazed at herself, the dell, back to me, back to the dell, she whispered, “I’m still drunk, aren’t I? This is the effect of the alcohol, right? I really need to quit and go back to leading a slovenly life.”
I shook my head. “You’re not drunk. This is my home. I’m a male faerie. A Brownie. Also…” I swallowed and took a deep inhale, “this is the real me.” I shimmered out of my glamour and revealed my true self.
Zara passed clean out.