Chapter Eleven
CHAPTER ELEVEN
After a chat with Heath, Ottilie had decided she needed to put Fion on her car insurance and also needed to find somewhere suitable, away from any busy roads, to start off the driving lessons. It seemed simple enough, but she soon found that Thimblebury wasn’t a place filled with flat, smooth, unused squares of tarmac.
Back in the days when Ottilie’s dad had helped her to learn to drive, he’d taken her to the car park of a supermarket after closing time, and she’d had all the space she’d needed to manoeuvre the car back and forth and round and round until she’d got the hang of the controls and hadn’t had other cars to worry about. By the time she’d had a paid lesson, she was confident that she could move the car around and only had the rules of the road and keeping up with other traffic to worry about, which was exactly what she hoped to achieve this time with Fion.
She’d asked around for ideas on where to go, and it was Victor who’d had the solution. The patch of ground she wanted lay not on Daffodil Farm but on the land he’d gifted to one of his daughters, Melanie, and her husband, Damien. They had space outside one of their barns which was flat and plenty big enough for her needs, and Victor was certain they’d be happy enough with her using it.
And so, with a low sun in the sky, with the barns on one side and Damien and Melanie’s home on the other, Ottilie was in the passenger seat of her car as Fion buckled her seat belt.
‘How back to basics do we need to go?’ Ottilie asked. ‘You said you weren’t very good at driving, so you must have tried to learn before. How far did you get? Do you know what all the controls do, or shall I go over them again?’
‘I know the very basics,’ Fion said. She looked down at the pedals and pressed each one lightly in turn. ‘Clutch, brake, accelerator. I know about the handbrake and gears. I’m not used to this car, though, so I don’t know where the lights are and that sort of thing.’
‘We won’t worry about that yet. Let’s concentrate on moving the car first. Unless you’re happy with that too?’
‘I haven’t done it for ages, so I think that might be a good idea. Shall I start the engine and just drive around a bit?’
‘I think that’s a good idea. Take it steadily.’
‘I wasn’t going to do anything else,’ Fion said with a sideways glance. ‘It’s so good of you to do this for me, you know.’
‘I think you might have said that once or thirteen times,’ Ottilie replied with a smile. ‘But you know quite a lot already, so that’s half our work done. I can’t imagine it’s going to be such a hardship. I think it might even be fun. Are you ready?’
Fion nodded.
‘Don’t forget to have it in neutral before you start the engine.’ Ottilie angled her head at the gears to remind Fion.
‘Of course…’ Fion waggled the gear stick before seeming satisfied it was where she needed it. ‘It’s already in, I think.’
‘It was, but it doesn’t hurt to check anyway. I’m not a qualified instructor, of course, but I’ll do my best to remember what driving by the book is like before I show you what to do. It wouldn’t do to have you driving like I normally do – you’d fail your test for sure.’
Fion gave an anxious smile. ‘You seem like a good driver to me.’
‘I’m sure I’m safe enough, but I’ve definitely picked up some bad habits. We all do eventually. I’ll try not to pass them on to you.’
‘I’ll still be a better driver than I am now.’
‘I suppose that won’t be hard, as you don’t drive at all now. Come on – let’s see if we can get started before it goes dark. If I’m telling you something you know, feel free to tell me that you know it – I won’t be offended. Otherwise I’m going to assume it’s useful and carry on. So when you take off the handbrake and put the car into first, don’t forget to lift the clutch gradually and you’ll feel the biting point where the car is telling you it wants to move. Then you can let off the brake and let it go.’
Fion nodded. Concentration was etched into her features. Ottilie could barely remember what it was like not knowing how to do any of this, but she was reminded now of just how much there was to learn. It was like second nature to her, but once upon a time she’d had that same look as Fion as she tried to get going. The car screeched and groaned a little as Fion clumsily brought it to biting point and then, a moment later, jolted forward. Immediately, it cut out and came to a halt.
‘Stalled,’ Ottilie said. ‘Don’t worry; you’ll get there. Try again.’
Fion repeated the operation and then stalled again.
‘See,’ she said, slapping her hands on the wheel. ‘I told you I was useless at it.’
‘You’ve barely begun,’ Ottilie said patiently. ‘Give yourself some time. You might stall it twenty times before you get going, but you will get going in the end.’
‘What about your car? I might break it.’
‘I think it will take more than that to break my car. Anyway, it’s an old thing; I wouldn’t worry. Concentrate on what you’re doing and put all that out of your head.’
Fion looked unconvinced, but she did as Ottilie asked, and this time, the car inched forward.
‘There you go!’ Ottilie said. ‘Now bring the speed up a little – we’re juddering.’
Fion put her foot down, but it was too clumsy, and the car shot forward so alarmingly that she immediately lifted her feet from the pedals and stalled the car once more, throwing them both forward in their seats.
‘I’ll never curse a seat belt again!’ Ottilie said, laughing, but Fion only looked miserable.
‘Sorry.’
‘Never mind. Let’s go again. You’ll get it.’
After ten minutes, Fion was beaming as she brought the car to a halt after a successful, if slow, circuit of the yard.
‘See!’ Ottilie said. ‘You can do it, and you picked it up far quicker than you thought!’
‘Only because I have a good teacher.’
Ottilie was beginning to realise that all Fion had really needed was someone with patience. Whoever had tried to teach her before had perhaps been lacking. And then, to her utter surprise, Fion leaned forward and threw her arms around Ottilie’s neck in an awkward hug. It wasn’t unwelcome, however, and Ottilie returned it.
‘Thank you,’ Fion said, letting go.
‘You’re more than welcome. While you’re on a roll, do you want to have another go at driving round the yard?’
Fion nodded and set up the controls before going again.
‘Try to get used to using your mirrors to check behind before you pull off, now that you’re getting the hang of that bit.’
‘OK.’
‘And you might need to signal when you’re on a road, but we’ll get to that soon enough.’
After another successful circuit, Fion put the car into neutral and left the engine idling while Ottilie started to tell her what she might do to improve things, but they were interrupted by a figure coming from the house and towards the car. It was Damien – Victor’s son-in-law. Ottilie didn’t know him well – he’d come to help when her house had been flooded and she’d run into him at one or two village get-togethers, but, for the most part, he and his wife Melanie kept themselves to themselves up in the hills away from the village. Ottilie had always found Damien likeable. He had an easy manner and a pleasant tone to his voice that made it sound like he was about to crack a joke. He was taller than Heath but slimmer, with thick chestnut hair and eyes almost the same colour.
She pressed the button to lower the window, assuming he wanted to talk to them, and he leaned in with a smile, pushing a fringe that looked in need of a trim back from his face.
‘How’s it going?’
‘Good, I think,’ Ottilie said. She looked at Fion, who nodded.
‘I’ve got further today than I have before,’ she agreed.
‘You look as if you’re doing well,’ he said.
‘You were watching?’ Fion asked, looking mortified.
‘Not exactly,’ he said, seeming to read her discomfort. ‘But I couldn’t help noticing whenever I looked out of the window. And I couldn’t help looking out of the window because I was cooking and the chopping board is right near it. I swear I wasn’t watching on purpose.’
‘What are you cooking?’ Ottilie asked.
‘Pie. Actually, lots of pies. I’m testing recipes. They’re in the oven now – I could do with some guinea pigs, if you fancy being taste-testers when they’re out.’
‘Why are you making so many?’ Fion asked.
‘I’m thinking of setting up a business with them – supplying some of the shops and pubs around here. Hopefully, I’ll be creating something a bit unique that they’ll want to buy. That’s the idea anyway. I’m sure you’ll tell me if my unique is everyone else’s yuk.’
Ottilie laughed, but Fion only met the remark with a nervous smile. But as Ottilie watched her, she saw something else. Awe, she thought. Fion’s expression, though it was seeking approval, was also full of admiration.
She glanced back at Damien. She’d always thought him reasonably attractive, but she’d never considered it any more deeply than that because he was Melanie’s husband. And she supposed now he seemed confident and dynamic because of the way he was willing to go out on a limb to make his fortune, and that was probably attractive too.
‘They’ll be out in about half an hour if you want to come in,’ he continued. ‘I’ll shout you. Of course, feel free to say no if you don’t have time.’
‘We’d love to,’ Ottilie said. ‘It’ll be nice to see Melanie again as well.’
‘Sorry, she’s not home. She’s over at Daffodil with Corrine doing something or other. I expect she’ll be back soon, but I don’t know if it’ll be by the time you leave.’
‘Hopefully,’ Ottilie said. ‘But we’re happy to help anyway.’ She glanced at Fion, who nodded her agreement.
‘Great,’ Damien said. ‘I’ll let you get on for now, but I’ll come out to you when the pies are ready.’
Ottilie knocked on the door of the house and Damien answered, wearing a striped apron.
‘We’re finished for today,’ she said. ‘I thought I’d let you know.’
‘You’re just in time,’ he said. ‘The first batch of pies is out and cooling. Come in. That’s if you’re still happy to be my testers.’
Ottilie looked at Fion. She was flushed but she seemed happy with the progress she’d made, and over the previous twenty minutes she’d been livelier and more upbeat than Ottilie had ever seen her.
‘I’m happy if you are,’ she said to Ottilie.
‘If I’d known there was going to be all this extra food, I wouldn’t have eaten after work,’ Ottilie said as they went inside.
‘A mouthful or two will do it,’ Damien said. ‘I’m not expecting you to eat it all – unless you want to, of course.’
‘You’d know we liked it if we wanted to eat them all,’ Fion said.
‘There is that,’ Damien agreed. ‘Sit down. Can I get either of you a drink? There’s a jug of water on the table, but I can make tea or coffee. Or I have fruit juice if you’d prefer.’
‘Juice would be lovely.’ Ottilie sat down and, a moment later, their old sheepdog padded over, tail wagging limply, and laid a head on her lap, looking up at her. ‘Hello, Pacy,’ she said, stroking his nose. ‘I bet you’ve had a sneaky bit of pie too.’
‘He wishes,’ Damien called from the fridge. ‘He’s certainly tried to get some, but most of them have ingredients that are not exactly dog friendly. At least, I wouldn’t want to clear up after him if he had too much. Should be human friendly, though,’ he added. ‘In case you were worried.’
‘Not worried at all,’ Ottilie said. ‘I’m looking forward to seeing what all these unusual flavours are.’
Damien brought a bottle of juice and three glasses to the table. Then he went to a cooling rack and took three pies from it, putting them on a platter before cutting them all into slices. A symphony of aromas filled the kitchen. Ottilie couldn’t distinguish all of them, but there was beef and heavy red wine, and there was chicken – she thought – and something more eastern too, perhaps lemongrass.
‘So,’ he said, pointing to each in turn. ‘We have turkey, chestnut, sage and apple sausage. Then there’s beef with red wine and shallots, and the last one is a vegetarian one, Thai style curry with chickpea and coconut milk. I’ve got some other flavours in the oven – pork and pear, Moroccan-style chicken with apricot and yogurt, and one with a Tuscan-inspired bean casserole filling. And honestly, if you have any more ideas while you’re here, I’d love to hear them. I’m still very much in the experimental phase and would gladly hear suggestions for new recipes.’
‘I don’t know about that, but these look amazing,’ Fion said.
He put out three plates and then a slice of each pie onto each plate before giving them both a fork. ‘Dig in. I’m sorry.’ He paused. ‘I never asked if either of you have any allergies. Or if you’re vegan. Bloody hell, some pie manufacturer I’m going to be if I forget about those things.’
Both women shook their heads.
‘Nothing to worry about here,’ Ottilie said. ‘Which one do you want us to try first?’
‘Whichever you like. How about the turkey and chestnut? Seems like it would have less of an aftertaste than the others so it might be a good start.’
Ottilie dug her fork in and popped it into her mouth. The filling was rich, and the crust was just the right mix of crisp and moist. ‘Wow!’ she said. ‘I thought it looked good, but I never expected it to be so amazing!’
‘So you like it?’ he asked, clearly hoping and perhaps expecting a positive response, even as he asked.
‘Yes!’ Ottilie took another forkful. ‘I wasn’t hungry, but I could still happily clear one of these if you gave me a whole one.’
Damien turned to Fion, who had just swallowed her mouthful.
‘Delicious,’ she said. ‘The best pie I’ve ever eaten.’
‘That’s good,’ he said. ‘There’s nothing you’d change? More salt? Less sage?’
‘It’s perfect,’ Fion said. ‘You made this from scratch?’
He nodded.
‘I could never cook like this,’ Fion said.
‘I bet you could,’ Ottilie told her. She looked at Damien, spotting an opportunity that was too good to miss. ‘Fion cooks. She’s thought about training to be a chef. I bet you’ll have your hands full if you start getting a lot of orders for these. What are you going to do about making them in bulk? You’ll be taking on help, right?’
‘I haven’t planned that far ahead,’ Damien said, ‘but if things went that well, yes, I’d probably need help, and Melanie isn’t really interested. She’s got her hands full, to be honest, with running the house and helping with the alpaca at Daffodil, so even if she was keen, it would be difficult.’
‘I’m not very good, though,’ Fion said to Ottilie. ‘I don’t think?—’
‘Damien could teach you,’ Ottilie said.
‘It wouldn’t be like proper cheffing, I’m afraid,’ Damien said. ‘It’d be more like throwing ingredients into the mixer, more industrial when I scale it up. I mean, they’ll be more artisan than most, but it will still be mass production to a degree.’
‘You’ll make them from here?’ Ottilie asked.
‘I expect so, unless it gets too big, but I’d cross that bridge when I came to it. If I came to it. But, Fion, if you’re still looking for work when I get going and you’re interested, then I’d be happy for you to do some trial shifts here to see how it suits you. I wouldn’t need you to be trained to any kind of official standard. I only think if you really want to be a chef, it might not suit you.’
‘I’d love that!’ Fion said. ‘When do you think that might be?’
‘I couldn’t say,’ he replied. ‘Not right now. I hope it won’t be too much longer until I’m in a position to be able to let you know. I’ve got customers interested already, so it’s just a case of establishing those relationships to make them regulars and getting going on working out production.’
‘But you’ll let me know?’ she asked.
‘I can let Ottilie know for you.’
‘I could give you my phone number,’ Fion began, and at this he seemed less certain.
‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘I won’t forget. As soon as I know something, I’ll tell Ottilie and she can let you know.’
Ottilie thought it strange that he wouldn’t want Fion’s number to contact her himself when the time was right. He seemed keen enough otherwise. Was it something to do with his marriage? Did he think Melanie would be suspicious of another woman’s phone number in his contacts? But surely that would be ridiculous? Even if their marriage was at a rocky point, business was only business.
She dismissed the question as he went back to the platter. ‘Beef next, if you’re ready for another slice?’
‘I’m ready,’ Fion said.
Ottilie nodded and shoved the leftovers of the first one to the side of her plate to make space for the new sample.
This one was as good as the first, and Damien was delighted to hear them both say so. Then they tried the last; and as they were drinking juice, ready for the next batch to come out of the oven, Melanie came in.
‘Hello, Ottilie!’ she said, and although her greeting was friendly enough, there was a definite shift in the atmosphere.
‘This is Ottilie’s sister, Fion,’ Damien said, rather too hurriedly for it to escape Ottilie’s attention. ‘They’re both taste-testing for me.’
‘Poor things,’ Melanie said, again, the apparent humour masking something that neither of them were saying, a coldness beneath the courtesy.
They had the air of a couple who had recently argued and hadn’t forgiven or forgotten it yet. Putting that together with what she already knew, Ottilie was alarmed to conclude that they did seem strained. She wondered how Corrine and Victor would take it if they split. It would be a mess, especially as they were living in a house built on land that Victor had gifted to them. Ottilie didn’t know a lot about divorce law, but she imagined that might be tricky.
However, for now, she turned her thoughts back to the conversation in the room. It wasn’t any of her business, and she might well be seeing more in it than there was. Lots of couples rowed all the time and they were fine. And gossip wasn’t exactly a novelty in Thimblebury, so it wouldn’t be surprising to hear speculation about anyone’s marriage, even speculation that missed the mark.
‘They’re amazing,’ Fion said.
‘See.’ Damien threw a look of triumph at Melanie as she bent to fuss the dog.
‘Well,’ she replied, looking at Ottilie and Fion in turn, ‘I hope you don’t think me rude, but I can’t stay to chat – I’ve got some urgent emails to look over. If you’re still here when I’m done, I’ll pop down.’
‘Don’t mind us,’ Ottilie said. ‘We probably won’t be here much longer anyway.’
‘I have to get home before the last bus,’ Fion said, and Ottilie turned to her.
‘Don’t worry about that – I’m going to take you home.’
‘You ought to drive,’ Damien said. ‘Good practice.’
‘Oh, I couldn’t,’ Fion began, and from the corner of her eye, Ottilie noticed Melanie slip from the room.
‘If you wanted to try, though,’ Ottilie replied, trying not to let her attention wander to Melanie’s exit, ‘I’d be right beside you. You could do ten minutes or so along a quiet stretch, just to get a feel for it, and then drive a bit further each time you come over until you’re eventually driving home.’
‘Am I allowed to do that?’
‘I think so,’ Ottilie said. ‘I can’t think of any laws against it.’
‘As far as I know, as long as you have someone with a licence beside you it’s fine,’ Damien said.
‘I don’t know…’ Fion knotted her hands together in her lap.
‘You looked as if you were doing OK when I was watching,’ Damien said.
Fion didn’t reply, and after a beat of silence Damien seemed to decide that the car conversation was at an end. He went to the fresh batch of pies and put one of each on the platter to bring to the table. ‘Who’s got room for round two?’ he asked.
‘For pies that good, I’m sure I could make some room,’ Ottilie said.
‘Take some of the leftovers for Heath and Flo,’ Damien added, cutting them up into slices, as he’d done the first ones. ‘I’d love to hear what they think too.’
‘I’m sure they’d love to give their opinion…Flo, at least.’
‘Yes,’ Damien said drily, ‘we all know Flo isn’t backwards at coming forwards. I’m sure she’ll have thoughts, and she’ll go out of her way to make sure I hear about them.’
In the end, Fion told Ottilie she was tired from concentrating for so long and didn’t feel confident in the fading light, and Ottilie had to agree that when she’d only started to learn how to drive, she’d probably have felt the same. And so Ottilie drove her back to Penrith. There had been a brief call to Heath, who was meant to be coming over, to let him know she’d be late, and he’d said he’d wait at Flo’s for her.
As they left the boundaries of Thimblebury, Ottilie could smell snatches of the many flavours of pie Damien had sent her away with to give to Heath and Flo and anyone else who might like to try them. Ottilie had already decided to take some for Stacey, Fliss and Lavender. Fion had some for her mum and dad, though she wasn’t sure if they’d eat them or not, and the notion that they’d both overlook Fion’s gift made Ottilie sad for her. The more they talked – though Fion never said it explicitly – the more Ottilie saw the picture of a home that was far from happy, and poor Fion stuck there.
As the sun dipped behind a hill, Ottilie switched the headlights on. The beam swept the road ahead, lighting up scurrying shadows in the verges and hedgerows as they went by. There was so much wildlife here, and these days Ottilie often took it for granted, but on occasions such as this one, she was reminded that her home in Thimblebury was a far cry from the one she’d shared with Josh in Manchester.
‘I could have made the last bus,’ Fion said. ‘I feel terrible making you come all this way in the dark for me.’
‘I don’t mind,’ Ottilie said. ‘It means we get to spend more time together.’
‘Oh…’ Fion said, and when Ottilie shot a swift sideways glance her way before focusing back on the road, she caught a smile.
‘I’m glad you came to find me,’ Ottilie said. ‘I can’t imagine now not knowing you existed.’
‘Me too,’ Fion said. ‘It’s lucky you live so close to me too. Imagine if you’d never moved to the Lake District. Like, if you lived in Australia or something.’
‘I know. Seems like the universe wanted us to meet, right?’
‘My dad certainly didn’t.’
Ottilie processed her reply for a moment as she followed the curve of the road, the reflective dots of the markings stretching ahead. ‘Why do you think it would be such a problem for him?’ she asked finally.
‘No idea.’ Fion unzipped her bag and checked her phone. Ottilie could see it light up briefly from the corner of her eye, until Fion dropped it back into the bag.
‘Do you think it’s because he’d prefer it if I didn’t exist?’
‘I don’t know. I heard him say to Mum again that you weren’t getting any money from him.’ Fion shrugged. ‘Maybe he thinks you’ll come for backpay for child maintenance or something.’
‘That’s ridiculous! Like I told him when we met, I’m a grown woman – I have no need of his money, and I never have. I was provided for perfectly well by my dad.’
‘You don’t think of my dad as your dad, even though you’re glad we’re sisters.’
‘My dad is the man who brought me up. Conrad is just…well, you know. How can I put it politely? He’s a biological fact in my existence, that’s all.’
‘Sometimes I think that’s all he is to me.’
Ottilie glanced at her. ‘What’s he like to live with?’
‘Do you need to ask? You don’t like him and you’ve only met him once.’
‘I never said I didn’t like him. I don’t care that he doesn’t seem to like or want me in his life, but that’s different. I don’t have an opinion either way – I can’t have because he hasn’t given me a chance to form one. He might be a very nice dad to you – I wouldn’t know because I don’t see it.’
‘He’s…’ Fion paused. ‘He’s my dad.’
‘He is, but as much as it doesn’t mean anything to me, it doesn’t have to mean everything to you. As you pointed out, he’s my dad too, biologically speaking, but I don’t have a relationship with him. You might have one, but I get the impression it’s not a good one. Maybe not even worth your effort. From what I’ve seen – which isn’t much – it seems to me you’re the one making all the effort.’
‘Like you said, you don’t see what we’re like at home.’
Fion could deny the difficulties. She might do it from some misplaced sense of loyalty for a man she felt she ought to love and respect, but Ottilie could see through it.
‘But,’ Fion added into the gap, ‘it’s been worse since…’
‘Not that I think the world revolves around me, but am I going out on a limb if I say I think you’re going to end that statement saying that it’s been worse since I turned up?’
‘It’s just that…well, you can imagine. Mum’s bound to ask questions about your mum, and Dad doesn’t want to talk about it. There are things I wanted to know too.’
‘But he wouldn’t talk to you either.’
‘He says it means nothing and he barely knew your mum. Is that true?’
‘They worked together. My mum was feeling a bit lost and…well, you can work out the rest. I don’t think they were in love or anything. I think my mum felt the same way once it was over – she wanted to put it behind her. But then she found out she was expecting me. We haven’t talked too much about that time – I’m loath to drag it all up for her when it’s obvious she doesn’t want to go over it. I think she feels incredibly guilty. Your dad probably does too, and he’s struggling to come to terms with the fact that there are now consequences to an affair from long ago he’d forgotten about. Maybe he even feels guilty that he hasn’t been a part of my life – who knows?’
‘He doesn’t act like someone who feels guilty. He doesn’t even want to acknowledge you.’
‘True, but people do weird things, don’t they? We don’t always act like you’d expect.’
‘I don’t know how you take it all so calmly.’
‘What else can I do? Raging won’t change anything. Besides, I have a good life, and I don’t feel I’m missing out not having him in it. If he comes to me and says he’s changed his mind, I’d be happy to get to know him, but I’m not going to beg. Sorry…’ Ottilie steered a sharp bend. ‘It sounds as if I’m talking behind his back and saying things you probably don’t want to hear. I don’t mean to be hurtful?—’
‘You’re not. I’m not hurt; you’re only saying things I think might be true. He’ll be furious if he finds out I’m coming here to see you.’
‘He doesn’t know at all? You’re not going to tell him?’
‘It’s none of his business where I go – I’m an adult, even if he tries to make me feel like I’m not.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘The way he goes on all the time about living under his roof and abiding by his rules, like I’m still fourteen. I wish I could get out. I shouldn’t be living with my parents at my age – even if I liked living with them, which I don’t. But the rents are so high and I don’t have any savings, and now I don’t even have a job. Dad thinks I’m a loser with no future, and he’s probably right.’
‘Don’t you know anyone you could houseshare with?’
Fion shook her head. ‘They’re all either already in houseshares or living with partners. I missed the boat.’
‘And it’s really as awful as you say? With your parents, I mean?’
‘I’m sure there are people in worse situations. They’re not cruel or abusive or anything – it’s just it makes me so miserable. The three of us don’t even have anything in common, let alone get along. But we don’t even fight to clear the air; we mostly try to avoid one another, and if we have to be in the same room, we have hardly anything to say.’
‘It does sound a bit depressing.’
‘There’s no point in talking about it because there’s nothing I can do. I’m stuck.’
‘Stuck now doesn’t mean stuck always,’ Ottilie said, mustering her most encouraging tone.
‘Stuck now is bad enough. It’s hard to think about the future when your now is so miserable.’
‘I’d say thinking about the future is what might save you. It’s not the same, but it’s what I did when I lost Josh. I was stuck, mourning, unable to move on from what happened, angry at the man who did it. I woke up one day and realised that I had to see a brighter future and that seeing it was the first step to making it happen. So I tried to imagine what might be better than where I was now, and I opened my mind to whatever opportunities came my way, even if they weren’t what I’d visualised. Then I saw the job in Thimblebury and it was like a light switch going on. I knew if I got it, that might be the change I needed to get me to the better future I’d been looking for.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Fion said. ‘Here’s me complaining about living at home with my parents and you went through all that. You must think I’m pathetic.’
‘I don’t at all. I didn’t tell you that to measure your problems against mine or say they were bigger or tougher. I told you because I hoped it would make you feel more optimistic. When you’re stuck in a rut, no matter how hard it seems to see past it, there is always a way. And if you can see past it, then you have a hope of moving past it. Nobody promises it won’t be hard, but at least it’s something to look forward to, something to keep you motivated.’
Fion didn’t reply. Ottilie hoped she was mulling over her advice. Not that it was advice as such, more that she was sharing her own experiences in a way she hoped might help her half-sister.
When a few minutes had passed and there was still no response, Ottilie glanced across and saw that Fion was staring straight ahead. If she hadn’t already told Ottilie how depressing her life was with her parents, Ottilie would have guessed it easily from the look on her face.
‘Here’s a thought,’ she said, the idea coming from her as it formed. ‘Why don’t you stay with me for a while?’
Fion turned to her, but she still had nothing to say.
‘I know it’s not all that different to your current situation,’ Ottilie added. ‘But it will be a change of scenery for you and maybe kick-start some thoughts about where you want to be. You might decide it’s far too quiet and boring, but then you’ll know that village life is not for you. It might even make you feel you do want to spend some time living in a city, and I know you say you can’t afford to, but you never know what will change in your circumstances that might make that a possibility after all. You might decide you want to be back in Penrith. You might even want to go abroad. I just wonder whether some time away from the place that feels as if it has you captive will be the kick up the backside you need to start working out how to change things.’
‘You’d really have me?’
‘I wouldn’t have offered otherwise.’
‘But you hardly know me.’
‘True, but I know you enough to get a good feeling about it. And you’re my sister.’
‘Half-sister. You might get sick of me.’
‘You’re more likely to get sick of me. Or Thimblebury. If you did, I wouldn’t be offended by you saying so and moving on. Are you worried about telling your parents you want to move out?’
‘I don’t think they care about the moving-out part – it’s the part when I say where I’m moving to that might be a problem. What about Heath?’
‘He doesn’t live with me yet,’ Ottilie said, trying not to think about the fact that she would have to break the news of what she’d just done to Heath and she couldn’t be entirely sure how he’d take it.
‘And it would really be all right?’
‘It would make your driving lessons easier,’ Ottilie said with a smile.
‘And if your friend Damien does have work for me…’
‘Now you’re seeing where I’m going with this. Sleep on it. Let me know.’
‘But…what will I tell my mum and dad?’
‘That’s up to you. Do you need to tell them anything?’
‘I think I ought to. They’re not the easiest people to live with, but they’re still my parents.’
‘I’d be the same,’ Ottilie said. ‘So what will you tell them?’
‘I don’t know yet. I don’t even know…I mean, it’s so nice of you to offer, but I don’t know if it’s the best thing for me to do.’
‘Of course. I don’t mind what you decide, as long as it’s what you feel you need. I only wanted you to know that the offer’s there if you feel it will help.’
‘Thank you.’
They drove on, both of them lapsing into silence again. It didn’t worry Ottilie – quite the opposite. If they could already share a comfortable silence this early on in their relationship, that had to be a good thing. She’d enjoyed the time she’d spent with Fion far more than she’d ever imagined she could, and she was hopeful that the bond they were forming would only get stronger.
Heath looked into the box. ‘A few pies! You weren’t kidding – there’s more than a few! I wish I hadn’t eaten now, but I was starving and I couldn’t wait.’
‘Some of them are for your gran, and then I’ll take the rest to work with me tomorrow. I can put yours in the freezer here if you like for when you fancy them. Damien says they’ll freeze well.’
‘They look good.’
‘They are – Fion and I tasted all of them. There wasn’t a bad flavour.’
‘What’s he planning to do?’
‘Other than sell them at some point? Not a clue. You’d have to talk to him about business strategies and all that stuff.’
Heath laughed. ‘I was curious, but not that curious. Imagine me knocking on his door: come to the pub, mate, I want to talk to you about manufacturing processes and profit margins. There’s a riveting night out for you.’
‘I don’t know how big it’s going to be, but we did ask him if he’d be taking anyone on and he said he might.’
‘Why did you ask that?’
‘I was thinking about Fion. She says she’d quite like to work in catering.’
‘Is it really catering? Won’t it be more like factory work?’
‘Not the way Damien is going to be making them, no. At least, I don’t see it. He might be producing in bulk, but if he’s working from one of his outbuildings, it’s still going to be small scale, more like cooking than an assembly line.’
Heath refastened the lid of the box. ‘I suppose a job is a job when you don’t have one.’
‘There’s that too. Even if it only tides her over, it’s got to be better than nothing. I actually think she’d enjoy working up there with Damien. He seems like he’d be a good boss.’
‘It’d be a long way to commute for a minimum-wage job. I’m assuming it will be minimum wage – it won’t require much in the way of qualifications. Would it be worth her while?’
‘That’s…’ Ottilie watched as Heath opened a bottle of wine and poured some into two glasses. ‘I asked her if she’d like to come and stay with me.’
‘Oh? For how long?’
‘For as long as she wants.’
His head snapped up. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean she can live here for a while. If she wants to.’
‘Ottilie… why?’
‘Why what?’
‘Why would you do that? You don’t know the first thing about her. Helping her out with driving and jobs is one thing, but having her live with you? Is she paying rent?’
‘We haven’t talked about money yet. I don’t think I’ll ask her though.’
‘Are you insane ?’
‘I don’t think so. Not last time I checked.’
‘Are you sure? You’re going to let a girl you hardly know move in with you for free? With no time limit.’
‘She’s my sister.’
‘You didn’t even know she existed a week ago! And what about me?’
‘What about you?’
‘It’s going to be awkward for me to come over if she’s here.’
‘You mean you won’t be able to walk around the house naked.’
‘Don’t be like that – you know full well what I mean. It’s going to change the way we spend time together.’
‘So you’re going to deny a girl who needs help because it means we might not always have the house to ourselves when we want to be intimate?’
‘ Intimate ? You’re not with one of your patients now! If you mean sex, then yes, it’s going to be weird! This is a small house with thin walls and…’ He threw his hands in the air. ‘Whatever. It’s your house and you’ve clearly made up your mind.’
‘It is and I have. She might not be here for long; she only needs someone to give her a leg-up and she’ll be on her way.’
‘She might well settle right in and decide she’s got it too easy to be on her way. What incentive would she have to leave? You said yourself she’s got no job and no money and she can’t afford rent anywhere decent. If I was in her shoes, I’d find this place a pretty attractive prospect.’
‘She’s not like that.’
‘You don’t know what she’s like – you don’t know her! Ott—’ Heath took a steadying breath and smoothed his features. ‘Your kindness is one of the most beautiful things about you, but sometimes I worry that you don’t know when to stop giving. I’m not saying any of this to be mean; I’m trying to look out for you because you seem hell-bent on not looking out for yourself.’
‘So it has nothing to do with how it will affect you?’
‘I won’t lie, that’s on my mind too. Not only me, though – us . We’ve just got engaged, and I’m meant to be moving in. We’re a couple starting out, not an old married couple with a kid.’
‘It won’t be like that.’
‘Won’t it? So she won’t be sitting in the living room with us when we’re watching TV at night? Or at the kitchen table eating with us? Or sharing the bathroom? And this is a small house – it’ll feel incredibly small with an extra person in it.’
‘We’ll manage, and I expect she’ll be out a lot.’
‘There’s nowhere to go in Thimblebury – where’s she going to?’ He shook his head. ‘Sorry, I don’t see this working.’
‘It has to work now,’ Ottilie said stubbornly. ‘We have to try because I’ve already offered.’
‘Tell her you’ve changed your mind.’
‘I can’t, not now I’ve got her hopes up! Would you? Be honest.’
Heath regarded her in silence for a moment. ‘No,’ he said finally. ‘I don’t suppose I would.’
‘If it gets too difficult I’ll talk to her, I promise.’
‘I don’t believe that for a minute, but OK, if you say so. When is this going to happen?’
‘I don’t know. She hasn’t even decided yet. It might not happen.’
‘We can live in hope,’ he said, taking a gulp of his wine.
Ottilie sat at the table with her own glass. She’d expected him to be wary of the plan, but she hadn’t expected him to be so against it. On reflection, however, she should have expected his reaction. He was right, even if she didn’t want to acknowledge it – they were starting out as a new couple living together properly for the first time, and if Fion moved in, it would change everything. But Ottilie wasn’t going to withdraw the offer. Fion was already feeling overlooked and worthless at home with her parents; Ottilie wasn’t about to reinforce that by making her feel unwanted here too. They’d have to at least try to make it work for as long as the arrangement might last.
He sat next to her and forced a smile. ‘Look, I realise you’re only trying to look out for her like you do for everyone. I also realise this is what I signed up for when I asked you to marry me, so’ – he reached for her hand – ‘do what you need to. It’s your house – I know – and I have no right to tell you who to have here. I’m sorry.’
‘I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first about it. The offer just came out when we were driving to Penrith. She seemed so miserable with her parents I couldn’t bear it.’
‘I can imagine.’ He stroked her hair away from her face. ‘What am I going to do with you?’
‘If it happens, it’ll be fine,’ Ottilie said. ‘We’ll make it fine.’