Chapter Nineteen
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The timing could have been better, but Ottilie had promised Magnus and Geoff she’d be at film club that night. She’d been exhausted when she’d finally seen the last of her patients and the last thing she wanted as she headed home was to go out again. It was tempting to cancel, but apart from disappointing Magnus and Geoff, she had another reason for making the effort to go. She wanted to find out how far the gossip about Fion and Damien had spread, and film club would be a reliable clue to that.
Fion was in the kitchen. The guilty expression as she looked up from peeling onions was all Ottilie needed to see to know she’d seen Damien at some point that day. Whether they’d done any actual work was doubtful. Ottilie didn’t want to know, and she didn’t ask.
‘I thought I’d make bolognese,’ she said. ‘Is that all right?’
‘Film club tonight,’ Ottilie said. ‘Remember? Magnus usually makes food for everyone.’
‘Oh, of course.’ Fion hesitated. ‘Do you mind if I don’t go?’
In the circumstances, Ottilie had hardly anticipated anything else. ‘I don’t mind. Will you be all right here?’
‘Yes.’
Ottilie put her satchel onto a chair and took off her jacket. ‘What do you have planned then? While I’m out. Will you be…?’ It was her turn to hesitate. ‘Will you be seeing Damien?’
Fion shook her head. ‘He says he needs to talk to Melanie.’
‘I think that’s sensible. You’ve seen him today?’
‘We went for a drive. We had a lot to talk about.’
‘Not a working day then.’
‘No. He said it would be weird trying to work under the circumstances.’
‘What did he say to Melanie last night? You told me he was supposed to wait.’
‘He said he couldn’t wait. Something happened when he got in. I don’t know what – he didn’t say. But I suppose it made him want to tell her about us. You know she isn’t an angel?’
‘Damien told you that?’
‘Yes. But it wasn’t to make him feel better about being with me, if that’s what you think. She’s been as bad as he?—’
‘Fion, I don’t think I want to know. I definitely think it’s better if I don’t – at least for my own sanity.’
‘I’m trying to tell you why it’s not all Damien’s fault.’
‘I never said it was. You’re all adults, and it’s nothing to do with me. I don’t need the details; I just want you all to sort it out and for things to settle. I need to get showered if I’m going to make film club on time.’
‘Oh, right…’
Ottilie could sense Fion watching as she left the room. Perhaps she’d seemed harsh when she’d told Fion she didn’t want any of the details, and perhaps she wanted them more than she’d like to admit. But she didn’t know if having that information would change the way she felt about the situation, and from a purely practical point of view, she didn’t have time to stop and listen. What she wanted, more than anything else right now, was for this whole situation to go away.
‘No Heath?’ Magnus kissed Ottilie on both cheeks and took the bottle of wine she’d brought for him.
‘No, he’s got some work meeting tonight.’
‘How dull.’
‘Very,’ Ottilie said, forcing a bright smile. ‘I know where I’d rather be.’ She was tired and far from in the right frame of mind to be here, but skipping it would only feed the gossip monster, and so she’d decided to appear as carefree and normal as possible.
‘No Fion either?’ Magnus asked, and this time the subtext was unmistakable.
‘No, she’s got a headache.’
‘Oh dear. I hope she feels better soon.’
Magnus went across the garden to the cinema room that he and Geoff had built there, and Ottilie followed. She couldn’t help but notice as she walked in that many of the people she’d normally spend film night with were missing. There was no Heath or Fion, of course, but also no Flo, no Lavender, and strangely no Geoff, Simon or Stacey. Ottilie smiled briefly at the other members of the club. She knew them well enough from around the village or when they’d been to her clinic, but they weren’t people whose company she sought out under normal circumstances.
She was wondering whether to text Stacey to find out whether she was coming when her friend walked in with Simon and Geoff. Magnus was fiddling around with the projector at the back of the room. When he saw Geoff, he waved him over, gesticulating at the equipment with a frown. While they tried to fix what had evidently gone wrong there, Stacey left Simon getting drinks and made a beeline for Ottilie.
‘Are you all right?’
‘Fine. Are you?’
‘For a nice change, I’m not the one being talked about everywhere I go.’
‘You’re saying I am?’ Ottilie asked, trying not to feel alarmed.
‘Well, not you, exactly. But you’re sort of being mentioned.’
Ottilie nodded slowly. What was the use in trying to deny it? And there was no need to hide anything from Stacey of all people. ‘What’s the word on the street then?’
Stacey gave a pained but sympathetic smile. ‘Fion and Damien have run off together.’
‘They haven’t exactly run off. Fion’s at my place right now, and he’s at his.’
‘But they’re having a fling?’
Ottilie sighed. ‘I think it’s more than a fling. If it was a fling, I could cope. I’d give her a good talking-to and tell her not to be so daft, and that would be the end of it. I think they’re…well, I know Fion has genuine feelings. As for Damien…’ She shook her head. ‘I don’t know what’s going on with him. She says he feels the same, but it’s far more complicated there than it is for Fion, isn’t it? Whether he has genuine feelings for her or not isn’t the point where he’s concerned.’ Ottilie narrowed her eyes slightly. ‘Who told you?’
‘You can take your pick.’
‘Great…’ Ottilie let her gaze wander the room. Was it her imagination that the rest of film club were paying her far more attention than they usually did? She hadn’t noticed it when she’d walked in. She shook the thought. It was far too easy to get paranoid in a situation like this. But if people were gossiping and it was getting round the village at the rate Stacey seemed to be suggesting, she might find paranoia about it the least of her worries. She turned back to Stacey with a grimace. ‘Does everyone know?’
‘I’d say it might be easier to list who doesn’t know.’
Ottilie took a breath and straightened up. ‘Right then! I suppose all that’s left to do is look like I don’t care.’
‘Ottilie, this is you we’re talking about. You always care.’
‘But they don’t know that.’
‘Honestly, it makes a nice change for it not to be me or Chloe being talked about. I wouldn’t let it worry you. They’ll have their fun, and in a couple of weeks it’ll be forgotten.’
They looked round as Simon came over with two glasses of wine and handed one to Stacey. ‘Ottilie, what’s going on?’
‘What do you mean?’ Ottilie asked, even though she already had a fairly good idea.
‘I don’t remember her name but that woman who runs the newsagents has just been asking me about your sister.’
‘Asking what?’
‘All sorts. How old she is, where she lived before she came here, has she been married…I mean, how should I know all that? More to the point, why do they want to know and why are they asking me, of all people?’
‘Because,’ Stacey said, knocking back a mouthful of wine and sending a barbed look in the direction of the culprit, ‘she knows she won’t get any of that information out of me.’
‘Surely if she’s that interested, she should ask Ottilie,’ Simon said.
‘Again,’ Stacey reiterated, ‘she’d get the same response from Ottilie as she got from me.’
‘In fairness, she probably wouldn’t,’ Ottilie said ruefully. ‘We all know I have no backbone when it comes to things like that.’
‘I wouldn’t go that far,’ Stacey said. ‘You’re just too polite to tell people to bog off and mind their own business.’
Simon studied Ottilie for a moment. ‘you still look exhausted.’
‘Thanks.’
‘You know I didn’t mean it like that.’
Ottilie gave a wan smile. ‘I know. I’m messing with you. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.’
‘Want to share?’ Stacey asked. Ottilie considered keeping it to herself, but Stacey was her most trusted friend these days and there didn’t seem to be any point. She swiftly checked for eavesdroppers and then lowered her voice. ‘Melanie came to our place last night – that much you probably know. She was a bit worse for wear. She wanted to see Fion, but we wouldn’t let her.’
‘Bloody hell,’ Stacey breathed.
‘I assume,’ Simon cut in, seeming to piece it together, ‘that’s where you went at lunchtime.’
‘I wanted to check she was all right. She’s Fliss’s patient, right?’
Simon nodded.
‘I wonder if I ought to talk to Fliss about her.’
‘You think she’s struggling?’ Simon asked.
‘I don’t know. I don’t think it would hurt to give Fliss a heads-up, though. What do you think?’
‘I don’t think you can ever be too careful,’ Simon agreed. ‘But if you don’t feel it can come from you for whatever reason, I can speak to Fliss. Tell her a little birdie told me – that sort of thing.’
‘You can take your pick from a whole flock of little birdies around here,’ Stacey said with a wry sweep of the room.
People had started to notice their conversation and kept looking their way while they had conversations of their own. Ottilie couldn’t imagine how she was so interesting, but she was glad now that Fion wasn’t here.
‘I’d appreciate that,’ Ottilie told him. ‘I think you’re right – probably better coming from someone other than me, in the circumstances. I think I’m too close.’
Magnus’s exclamation of triumph from over by the projector caused everyone to forget about Ottilie. They all looked round to see him smile as he addressed the room.
‘Crisis averted! My hero Geoff has fixed the projector and we’re ready to go!’
Ottilie didn’t think she’d ever been so pleased to take a seat and have the lights switch off in a room. But even as they went to sit down, she could feel the curious stares of the other film club members. She’d been subjected to them before when she’d first moved to the village, but that time they’d been sent her way with far kinder intent. This wasn’t so nice. Once again, she was glad Fion had decided to stay away. Clearly, her sister had understood the trouble she was beginning to cause even better than Ottilie did.
‘Two hours of my life I’ll never get back. Who chose that rubbish?’
Ottilie couldn’t help but overhear the comment. She’d chosen that rubbish , and everyone knew it. At least they ought to. And for what it was worth, the unspoken rule of their film club was that people were respectful of the films others picked, even if they didn’t like them.
‘There’s a way of saying things like that,’ Stacey said in her ear as she eyed the audience leaving their seats. ‘And that’s not it. I ought to have a word with Geoff.’
‘He probably heard it,’ Ottilie said wearily. ‘It’s not worth bothering.’
‘I think it is.’
‘I’d rather you didn’t, though.’
But when Ottilie looked round, she noticed Geoff pull someone to one side. Though she couldn’t hear what he was saying, he was speaking to them with an expression that told her he was giving them a dressing-down. Inwardly, she groaned. She hoped it wasn’t about her or the comment she’d just heard. She’d had enough unwanted attention for one evening, without making it worse. And despite what Stacey had said, it hadn’t bothered her all that much anyway – not enough to make a fuss over it.
She tried not to make it obvious she was watching, but every time she dared a glance, she could see that they weren’t exactly seeing eye to eye on whatever they were discussing.
Deciding she’d seen enough and if there was trouble she’d rather not know, she turned to Stacey. ‘Are you staying for drinks and nibbles?’
‘I will if you will. Chloe’s got Ollie over, and I think they’d probably appreciate having the house to themselves for a bit longer. To be honest, I’m starting to feel as if I’m in the way every time I’m in with them.’
‘Still love’s young dream then?’
‘God yes! I don’t mind. He makes her happy, and that’s a feat in itself. I ought to be giving him a medal.’
‘They’re still planning to rent a place of their own when the baby comes?’
‘I think that’s the idea. Chloe says they’re going to wait until the very last minute so they can save as much money as possible. If not for that, I think she’d have moved in with him weeks ago. As it is, looks like I’ll have her and Mackenzie at my place for a while longer yet. You won’t see me complaining about that. Chloe’s a pain in the backside, but Mackenzie is an absolute sweetheart.’
‘You’ll miss them both when they move out.’
‘I will. I’ve told her she can’t go too far. I don’t want to miss out on the new baby either.’
‘Is she going to find out what she’s having?’ Ottilie asked, her attention once again drawn to another conversation in the room that seemed to be about her, despite trying her best to ignore it and concentrate on this one. An uninformed shrink, she thought wryly, would accuse her of narcissism.
‘I think she might this time, if only to work out what that means for a flat and whether she can keep any of Mackenzie’s old clothes. I think she’d like a girl, but I don’t think she minds if it’s another boy; it’ll make life easier with bedrooms and reusing Mackenzie’s things.’
‘I suppose so…’
Stacey followed Ottilie’s now wholly distracted gaze. ‘What’s wrong? You’re not still stressing about that comment on the film? Forget it – Geoff will remind them of the rules.’
‘I think he already has. I don’t think they took kindly to it.’
‘It’ll blow over.’
‘I know. I don’t care about that. I just…well, I can’t help but wonder…I mean, I’ve chosen films nobody else has liked before and I’ve never had anyone be so rude about it. I suppose they might be rude in private, but I’ve never heard it, and nobody’s ever made it so obvious.’ She grimaced. ‘Am I being paranoid? Seeing more in it than there really is?’
‘I expect so,’ Stacey said. ‘You know when you got here and said you were going to act like you didn’t care? How’s that working out for you?’
Ottilie was forced to smile. ‘Terribly, by the looks of things. I never said I’d be any good at it.’
‘Take it from someone who has been the focus of more gossip than I care to remember – don’t take it home with you. I know you – you’ll spend all night fretting about it, wondering how you can make it up to all the people you think you’ve offended.’
‘Not this time. I’m not really the one who’s offended them, am I?’
‘Then you’ll worry about how you can protect Fion from it, and you can’t. She’s going to have to ride it out.’
‘You’re right, but it’s easier said than done, and I do think I’m being a little bit tarred with the same brush if tonight is anything to go by.’
‘Ah well, you can’t do anything about that no matter how nice you are to people. Small-minded is as small-minded does. If they want to gossip about you, they’ll find something no matter what you do.’ Stacey grinned. ‘Not everyone in Thimblebury is as nice as me, you know.’
Ottilie’s smile returned. ‘You can say that again. You’d only have to be a fly on the wall in my clinic for a morning to see that.’
Magnus called everyone through for nibbles. The food was as much a part of film club as the movie was, and chatting with the other members while they sampled new things that people had brought to share was often more enjoyable than what they’d watched. But tonight, despite wondering if it was in her imagination, Ottilie detected a frisson of something in the room. Little cliques of people she wasn’t exactly close to but knew well enough were gathered at corners away from her. They were chatting, animated conversations, and every so often a look would come her way, only to be followed by another one that was either guilty or accusing, and sometimes both. It was hard to accept that all of this was in her imagination. She’d be in conversation with someone else and could swear she’d hear her name from across the room.
After ten minutes, as she was going to use the bathroom, she was certain she caught someone talking about outsiders bringing trouble. Surely not? She’d never seen this side of her community before, and she refused to believe it existed. Yes, people gossiped and often it crossed a line – as far as Ottilie was concerned, at least – but it was never overtly hostile. As she passed by, the group fell into silence. One or two forced smiles came her way.
In Magnus and Geoff’s guest bathroom, Ottilie washed her hands and decided that she was tired and the events of the previous twenty-four hours were making her see and hear things that weren’t coming across as they were meant. Thimblebury just wasn’t like that.
She leaned on the sink, staring in the mirror at the dark circles beneath her eyes, and took a moment to collect herself. On reflection, perhaps she should have made an excuse to miss tonight’s film after all. She could think of a reason to leave now and get the early night she so clearly needed. For the briefest moment, it crossed her mind to phone Heath and ask him to come over, but she was reluctant to disturb him after he’d put in such long hours at work that day. It would have been a comfort to have him there, but he couldn’t always be there, and she wasn’t about to start relying on him all the time. Besides, Fion would be at home, and she might feel like talking. Ottilie was sure that, as much as Fion wanted to be with Damien, the situation was as stressful for her as for anyone else.
After doing her best to tidy herself up and giving her reflection one last critical look, Ottilie went back to the gathering. But as soon as she stepped back into the room, she knew something was off. Geoff had his arm around Magnus and was trying to comfort him, while a few others were standing around them, offering support, including Simon and Stacey. Ottilie went over and, when they noticed, she could see strained expressions looking back at her.
‘What’s wrong?’ Ottilie asked.
‘Oh, nothing,’ Magnus replied, pushing an unconvincing smile across his face.
‘Something’s wrong,’ Ottilie insisted.
‘Nothing for you to worry about.’ Geoff glanced at Magnus, who gave a brief nod before heading out of the room.
‘Where’s Magnus gone?’
‘He’s gone to get more wine,’ Geoff said.
Ottilie looked across at the counter where there seemed more than enough wine already.
‘If he’s an ounce of decency, he’s gone to apologise!’ someone called from across the room.
Ottilie spun round to see who it was. She couldn’t tell – there was more than one person staring at her.
‘If you’ve got something to say,’ Stacey snapped, ‘don’t be shy. Come and say it to our faces.’
There was no reply. Ottilie looked from one group of villagers to another.
‘Come on!’ Stacey goaded. ‘I get it – you don’t want to say it where everyone can see because you know you’ll get kicked out too.’
There was a pause, and then three people walked out together.
‘Good riddance!’ Stacey shouted after them.
‘Stacey…’ Geoff warned, but she spun to face him.
‘Come on – you’re not going to lose sleep over that lot, are you? They’re not even regulars. They don’t support the community – they don’t even buy anything from your shop! Let them go – nobody in here will miss them.’ She turned back to those still left. ‘Anything else you want to say?’
Her expression was as confrontational as Ottilie had ever seen it. She’d had a few drinks and that was probably making her braver – though Ottilie had always known Stacey to be able to hold her own. She’d had to grow a hard skin over the years when her own personal life had been so turbulent.
There was some murmuring, and then a few more people decided to leave. But this was a more sheepish exit. Some of them said goodbye to Geoff and mumbled excuses about dogs to walk or early nights. Some of them shuffled out with a guilty look. And when they’d gone and Stacey had backed away from the fight, there was a strange hush over those who were left. Despite them staying on, Ottilie wondered if someone ought to call time on the evening anyway because it was going to be odd and forced from now on. As for her own departure, in the circumstances, she didn’t feel she could leave now without some kind of explanation, and without making sure everyone was all right.
With that in mind, she drew Stacey and Simon to one side.
‘What was all that about?’
Simon exchanged a look with Stacey that put Ottilie on the back foot. They didn’t say so, but she was forced to conclude that it had something to do with her.
‘Stacey.’ Ottilie’s tone was urgent. She was so tired and so stressed, she felt she could burst into tears at any moment, ‘I’d rather know if it’s something…’
‘Geoff lost his temper with something he overheard,’ Simon answered for her. ‘Then Magnus got involved. There were words…’
‘What kind of words?’ Ottilie asked.
‘I’m not sure,’ Simon replied, but Ottilie could tell he knew more than he was letting on.
‘Magnus asked them to leave,’ Stacey said.
Ottilie stared at her. ‘He did what ?’
‘He asked them to go,’ Stacey repeated. ‘Good for him, I say.’
Ottilie was silent as she processed the information. Magnus was always the perfect host. He loved entertaining, being popular, and having everyone happy around him was what he lived for. He’d never ask someone to leave a gathering. Whatever had made him take such drastic action must have been bad. And it had clearly upset him. ‘Where is he now?’
‘I don’t know. Probably gone to cool off,’ Stacey said.
‘Who was it?’
‘Mo Taylor.’
Ottilie knew Mo to say hello on the street, but she wasn’t a regular at the surgery or at film club. ‘What did she say?’
‘I didn’t hear it,’ Stacey said.
‘Me neither,’ Simon added.
‘But,’ Stacey continued, ‘whatever it was, it pissed Magnus right off.’
Ottilie studied the two of them and decided that at least one of them did know what had been said and simply didn’t want to tell her. Which made her suspicious. Much as she hated to think it might all have been about her – or, more specifically, Fion, as had been the case so many times that evening – there was no other conclusion she could draw. People gossiping about her had been bad enough, but she could bear it. That same gossip dragging her friends in and upsetting them? That was something else entirely. She couldn’t allow it. ‘Was it about Fion?’
There was an awkward silence.
‘Right,’ Ottilie said. She glanced around the room. People had gone back to their drinks and nibbles, and it looked calm enough now, despite the strange atmosphere still hanging over the room. ‘I think I ought to go.’
‘Why should you go?’ Stacey asked. ‘You’re not the one causing trouble.’
‘I think I am. Sort of. Magnus only felt the need to defend me because he was worried it would hurt my feelings if I overheard anything. And quite honestly, while I appreciate it, it’s a bit too late for that – we’ve all heard stuff, right? Even if we’ve ignored it and pretended we haven’t. I’m done. I can’t be bothered with it, and I’m not about to ruin everyone else’s night even more than it already has been.’
‘If you go, then they’ve won,’ Stacey insisted.
Ottilie shook her head. ‘I don’t think it’s that simple. I probably ought to talk to Fion too.’
Stacey looked set to argue, but Simon only nodded and offered a strained smile. ‘I think you’re right. Probably best to take yourself out of the situation until things have calmed down.’
‘She can’t hide away for the next few weeks,’ Stacey said.
‘No,’ Simon agreed. ‘I know you don’t want to hear this, Ottilie, but it might be wise to ask Fion to lie low for a while. Perhaps even go back to her parents for a spell. Just until it all blows over.’
‘I wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of knowing it had got to me,’ Stacey said.
Simon turned to her. ‘That’s you,’ he said with such obvious pride and fondness it cheered Ottilie a little. ‘I’m not sure Fion is as resilient as you are.’
‘And you’re not seen as an outsider,’ Ottilie added. ‘People might gossip about you, but they’re more tolerant. I don’t know if that’s part of the problem with Fion, but I’m sure it’s not helping.’
‘You really think people are that small-minded here?’ Simon asked.
‘Yes,’ Stacey cut in.
‘No,’ Ottilie said. ‘At least, I hope not. I don’t really want to ask Fion to leave. I get the impression life in Penrith isn’t any better for her.’
‘I wasn’t only thinking of her,’ Simon said.
Ottilie blew out a long breath. ‘I’d better mention to Geoff that I’m leaving. I’d like to say goodbye to Magnus too, make sure he’s OK.’
‘Want us to come with you? Walk you home?’
‘There’s no need. No point in cutting your night short as well.’
‘You’re sure?’
Ottilie nodded and forced a smile. ‘Absolutely. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.’ She turned to Stacey and gave her a hug. ‘And I’ll see you when I see you.’
‘That better mean tomorrow,’ Stacey said. ‘Don’t let this crap get to you.’
‘I won’t. And even if everyone else in the village hates me, I still have you, right?’
‘The only one worth having, quite honestly,’ Stacey said with a faint smile of her own.
‘Exactly.’
Ottilie went to let Geoff know she was leaving. She didn’t mention the incident because she didn’t want him to think it had ruined her evening, and as he didn’t address it either, she had to assume he didn’t want to talk about it. Then she went to find Magnus.
He was in the cinema, tidying up. As the door opened he turned around.
‘Hello.’ His tone was bright enough, but Ottilie could tell that was for her benefit.
‘I just came to say thanks and that I’ll be off now.’
‘So soon?’
‘I’m a bit tired, and I’ve got an early start tomorrow, so…’
Magnus nodded. ‘Of course. Ottilie…’
‘Yes?’
‘You know that everyone here loves you.’
‘Of course.’
‘That’s all right then. As long as you do.’
‘I’m fond of you all – you know that.’ Ottilie paused. ‘I’d hate to think anything I was doing was a problem for you. Or that it might cause you upset. If that happened, you’d tell me, wouldn’t you?’
‘You could never do that,’ Magnus said.
‘But you would tell me?’
‘I’m sure that won’t ever happen.’
Ottilie wondered whether to bring up the altercation she’d missed while she’d been in the bathroom but decided that Magnus, like Geoff, really didn’t want to talk to her about it. If he had, he would have said something by this point, and she’d given him enough prompting.
‘Goodnight, Magnus.’
He held up a hand. ‘Thanks for coming.’
‘You know I wouldn’t miss film club.’
‘Bless you,’ he said with a vague smile before going back to his cleaning. Ottilie paused for a moment, wondering whether she ought to say anything else, but then decided to leave him to it.