Chapter Twenty-Seven
It was hard to fathom how such a small house could take so long to clean, and when Ottilie had finished, it still didn’t seem enough. She kept on top of it as much as she could from week to week, of course, as most people did. But having it clean and tidy enough to live in was one thing, and showing it to an estate agent – who would probably want photos to list it – was another thing entirely. Even so, when she’d finished, she was so tired she could happily have crawled into bed for a sleep. One thing she wasn’t going to get was sleep, however. After this – which she’d taken time off from work for, swearing Lavender to secrecy to organise it – she had a full clinic and it would probably overrun.
Fion was out, and Ottilie had planned it that way. She couldn’t say why, but she hadn’t yet told Fion of her plans to sell up and move back to Manchester. She didn’t want Fion to feel it was somehow as a consequence of things she’d done, and she didn’t want to have to break the news that Fion would either have to go to Manchester with her or make some other arrangements, but there was more to it than that. Perhaps because, despite discussions with Heath and an agreement that she’d apply for the nurse specialist post and that they’d take his job offer and hers as a sign that they were meant to return to Manchester together, Ottilie had still to tell anyone else. Saying it out loud like that felt too hard and made it a real fact she wasn’t altogether ready to face. Whenever she’d thought about it, her mind had gone back to the many wonderful things that Thimblebury and its residents had given her, and she knew it was going to be hard to let go of such an amazing place.
The knock at the door came bang on time. Ottilie opened up to find a woman of around fifty on the doorstep.
‘Ottilie?’ she asked, sticking out a hand anyway.
‘Yes. Ali?’
‘Pleased to meet you. I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve just had a snoop around from the outside. This is a gorgeous property. I took a few photos too – while the sun’s out and it’s looking extra lovely. I can delete them, of course, if you decide not to list.’
‘I’m quite sure I will list,’ Ottilie said, opening up and beckoning her inside. ‘My fiancé has been offered a job in Manchester and the commute is probably going to be too much.’
‘You’ll have no trouble selling. Properties here are hot. I doubt it’ll even make the website before someone snaps your hand off for it. You’ll get more than your asking price too, I’m sure.’
‘That’s good to hear,’ Ottilie said, trying to sound pleased but not feeling it. Hearing the estate agent talk about Wordsworth Cottage like that made her feel sad, almost as if she were betraying the little house that had changed her life.
As they went from room to room, Ali cooed and ahhed and made enthusiastic comments about this little detail or that little selling point, on how pretty and well maintained it was, what a perfect location and how confident she was that Ottilie wouldn’t have to wait long for an eager buyer.
‘The floor in here is stunning.’ Ali gave it a once-over before getting out a device to measure the room. ‘Did you put it in?’
Ottilie nodded. ‘Shortly after I moved in.’
She didn’t mention the flood that had almost sent her packing once before, but Ali’s comment about the floor brought back vivid memories of laying it, of friends from all over the village coming to help, of the fun they’d had despite the hardship of the event, of Heath helping with the woodwork, sending looks of longing that she’d still to recognise her way. He’d sat on the bare boards with her for hours while she’d wept over Josh, and he’d comforted her without asking for anything in return.
A knot of sadness pushed up into her throat. This house was so special. What she’d said to Heath was true – she could make anywhere home if he was there, but it didn’t change the fact that Wordsworth Cottage had been the most perfect home before he’d come into her life. She tried to tell herself that it was silly to get sentimental over bricks and mortar, but as she looked around the room, at the floor her neighbours had laid and the walls she and Heath had painted together, it was hard not to.
Ali snapped a few more photos from different angles and then handed Ottilie a business card. ‘I’ll email you when I’ve put together a mock listing and worked out a definite valuation. All you have to do then is let me know if you want to go ahead. I hope you do – we’ve already got clients waiting who are looking for something exactly like this.’
‘Thank you.’
Ottilie saw her out and waved her off. Once the car was gone, she closed the door, but it hadn’t quite shut when she heard a voice calling from outside. She opened up again to see Flo storming down the path, shoulders hunched and head forward as if she was planning to batter her way in.
‘Who was that?’
‘Who?’ Ottilie asked, knowing full well who Flo was talking about.
‘That car – it said estate agent on it. You’re selling up!’
‘We haven’t decided yet,’ Ottilie began, ushering Flo inside.
But Flo folded her arms and stubbornly stuck to the outside step, glaring at her. ‘Nobody told me!’
‘That’s because there’s nothing to tell yet.’
‘They don’t come round for nothing. How much are you going to make?’
‘I have no idea,’ Ottilie said patiently. ‘It’s not about money.’
‘Isn’t it? A fast buck – that’s all everyone wants nowadays. Strangers come, they buy our houses and then sell them for a profit, and before you know it, the village is full of strangers!’
‘I’m not a stranger.’
‘You were once.’
‘Lives change. What you wanted or needed once isn’t always what you want or need forever.’ Ottilie glanced up and down the street. ‘Come in, Flo. I’ve got to be at work in half an hour, but have a cup of tea and we’ll talk about it properly.’
‘So you can persuade me not to make a fuss.’
‘So I can explain to you what’s happening. It’s not just about me or the village or even this house.’
Flo continued to glower at Ottilie. But after a moment she relented and stepped over the threshold.
‘Heath’s got a promotion at work,’ Ottilie began as Flo followed her to the kitchen.
‘I know that. He told me that ages ago. He never said anything about moving away. He said you were both going to live here when you got married.’
‘We were, and we thought we could make that work, but now I have the opportunity of a new job in Manchester too, with a boss I worked for a while back, helping to establish a new service at the hospital. It looks like an amazing role, and I’d like to try it. If I get it, then it makes sense for us to go back to Manchester. What’s the use in us both rushing back and forth every day when life could be easier living where we both work?’
Flo’s mouth fell open as she stood at the kitchen doorway. ‘You’re leaving the surgery?’
‘I don’t know. None of this is in stone yet, but…’ Ottilie filled the kettle. ‘I’m going to apply for the other job and see what happens.’
‘What if you get it?’ Flo squeaked.
‘Then I’ll have to decide what to do.’
Flo was silent for a moment, and Ottilie could see the cogs turning as she worked scenarios through for herself. ‘But if you don’t get it, you’ll both stay in Thimblebury?’
‘I don’t know if it’s that simple. Things are a bit messy here, if we’re being honest, aren’t they?’
At this, Flo at least had the decency to look slightly ashamed. ‘It was all right before your sister arrived.’
‘That doesn’t change that they’re not really all right now.’
‘Nobody’s got any truck with you.’
‘We’re still stuck in the middle of it, and sometimes it feels as if people do have a problem with me. Fion’s my sister – do you really expect me not to be hurt on her behalf?’
‘You barely know her.’
‘Doesn’t make any difference. I know her enough to know I love her. It hurts to see people whispering about her. She’s done nothing wrong. Damien and Melanie were already on rocky ground, and they would have split up without Fion eventually. Everyone seems happy to overlook that little detail.’
‘We didn’t know that!’ Flo said tartly, and Ottilie raised her eyebrows.
‘Really? The way gossip flies around this place? Everyone seems to know everything else, so I find it hard to believe nobody knew this.’
‘We didn’t!’ Flo insisted. She folded her arms tight and huffed. ‘I suppose that puts a different complexion on things.’
‘Good,’ Ottilie said. ‘Perhaps if you could spread that around the village, it might help.’
‘It would make you stay?’
‘I didn’t say that. I think it’s only fair, though.’ She gestured to a seat. ‘Do you want that cup of tea?’
Flo seemed torn and then shook her head. ‘No thank you. I’ll let you get on.’
Ottilie had been distracted throughout the afternoon clinic. She’d paid attention to her work – she would always be conscientious of that above all else – but when it came to chit-chat with her patients, she didn’t have the energy for it. Her mind went over the appointment with the estate agent and Flo’s subsequent visit. She could understand why Flo would be upset at the thought of her and Heath leaving Thimblebury. She’d felt abandoned once before by her family and in particular by the grandson she doted on, and she’d been thrilled at the prospect of Heath moving in with Ottilie at Wordsworth Cottage. The situation had taken an about-turn. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, Ottilie reasoned, simply a result of the circumstances they’d found themselves in, but part of her wondered if she was being too hasty to take the easy way out.
But then, Heath had his promotion and they’d talked it over. Living close to work would be easier for him – easier for both of them – and allow them to spend more time together. He’d been willing to make sacrifices for Ottilie, willing to relocate when it made life easier for her. It was only fair she ought to be willing to do the same for him, wasn’t it?
It wasn’t often, but today she was glad when she was able to see the last patient out and turn off her computer. With a brief, distracted goodnight to her colleagues, she hurried home.
Fion was in, curled on the sofa with a cushion to her belly watching a soap. She looked up and gave a smile that seemed as vague as the one Ottilie offered in return.
‘I’ll cook in a minute,’ she said before going back to her programme.
She hadn’t been to work for Damien for the past week. They’d skulked around, trying to see one another for the odd evening in secret, away from the eyes of the village, but other than that, Fion had kept away. Ottilie could tell that having no work again, being forced to hide, was getting her down. She didn’t know what to do to help, other than persuade an entire village that she wasn’t a villain after all, and that hadn’t gone well so far.
‘Don’t worry,’ Ottilie said. ‘I’m not hungry yet. No rush.’
After making a drink, Ottilie sat at the kitchen table and opened her laptop. She looked over the job description for the position she’d been invited to apply for at the hospital, and then she began to work on a personal statement to attach to her application. It had been a long time since she’d had to write one, and every time she constructed a sentence she ended up deleting it to try again. It didn’t help that her heart wasn’t in it, even though there was a deadline. A few sentences and half an hour later, Fion’s voice interrupted her.
‘Do you need the table for a while? Because I can use the kitchen later if…’
‘No.’ Ottilie closed the laptop. ‘I’ll do this when my brain is working. Let’s eat first and I might have a bit more energy.’
‘What is it?’ Fion asked. ‘Something for work?’
‘Sort of.’
‘Oh. I’ve been thinking – I suppose I ought to get another job. I don’t know where, to be honest. I asked Magnus today about looking after the shop for him, and he said they’d decided not to go to Iceland this year.’
Ottilie wasn’t surprised. Even if Magnus had wanted to take Fion up on the offer of cover, things were so fraught in the village, it would have ended up causing more problems than it solved. ‘You’re not working for Damien now?’
‘It’s…’ Fion let out a sigh. ‘He has to move the business somewhere else, so it’s not running at the moment. He says he’s going to hand the house over to Melanie because it’s on her dad’s land and he doesn’t feel right living there now.’
‘Where’s he going to go?’
‘He doesn’t know.’
Ottilie patted the chair next to her, and Fion came to sit. ‘You love him, don’t you?’
‘Yes.’
‘And he loves you.’
‘You’re the first person who says they believe that. Everyone else thinks he’s…’ Fion’s fingers twisted together on the table.
‘He’s not serious and he’s only having fun with you because his marriage has only just ended. I know. People believe what they want to believe. It’s hard because most of them have known Melanie her whole life and they’ve only just met you. Their sympathies are bound to be with her, even if that’s not right. It’s not what you deserve – you or Damien – but…’
‘We’ll prove them wrong. They’ll see when we’re still together years from now. But I don’t…’
Ottilie turned to her. ‘Don’t what?’
‘I don’t want to leave you, but Damien is going away from here, and…’
‘Fion, I would never force you out, but while we’re on the subject, I’ve got something to tell you. I’m putting Wordsworth Cottage up for sale. Heath has his new job in Manchester, and I’ve been offered…well, there’s an opportunity I’m thinking of taking there too.’
‘But you love it here!’
‘I do, but it just feels like the right time to go.’
‘Because of me? Ottilie, I didn’t mean to?—’
‘It’s not because of you. It’s because sometimes life is telling you it’s time to move on, even if you don’t want to listen.’
‘Then I’ll have to leave anyway.’
‘I’m so sorry, but yes. If it helps, I’m sure there will be a room for you with us in Manchester.’
‘No,’ Fion said, staring down as she knotted and unknotted her fingers. ‘I’m not your kid – you don’t have to find room for me.’
‘You’ll go back to your parents?’
‘Mum wants me to, but no, I don’t belong there either. Wherever Damien is going, that’s where I’m going to go. I wasn’t sure, but now I know your plans, it’s a no-brainer. We’ll be all right. We’ll find a place to live, and we’ll get the business running together. You don’t have to worry.’
Ottilie smiled. ‘I’m not worried. I think you’re smarter and more resourceful than anyone realises. But…you know where I am if you need me. At least, you will as soon as I know where I’ll be.’
‘I won’t come back to live with you no matter what happens. I’ve loved it, but I need to find my own way now. You helped me to get started, and you helped me to see that I’m braver than I thought I was.’
‘I don’t know how I did that. There’s nothing brave about me – I’m the most cautious, sensible person you’ll ever meet.’
‘I always thought that about myself, but I don’t now, and I don’t think that about you either. I suppose we’re more alike than we realised.’
‘That must be it,’ Ottilie said. Her smile was tired, but it was full of affection. ‘I’ll miss not having you around all the time.’
‘I’ll miss you too, but this is how it’s meant to be, isn’t it? We couldn’t live together for ever anyway, could we?’
‘No, I don’t suppose we could. Be honest with me – you’re not going to follow Damien just to get out of my hair, are you?’
‘I’m following him because I want to. People can think what they want, and I know we haven’t been together long, but he’s everything to me, Ottilie. I don’t know how, but I just know he’s the one.’
Ottilie nodded. ‘I understand. I felt that way about Josh.’
‘And Heath?’
‘Well…’ Ottilie gave a light laugh as she went to the cupboard to get a bottle of wine, which she then put in the fridge. ‘That took a bit longer, I have to confess. We didn’t exactly see eye to eye in the beginning. But now…yes, now, I know he’s the one.’
Fion went to shower, and Ottilie tried again with her job application. Heath was due to arrive in the next hour. She had the wine chilling, and she’d messaged to tell him they’d wait for him so they could all eat together. Ottilie wanted Fion to tell Heath her plans over their meal, so they could all discuss ways to help her.
She wasn’t much further on with her statement when she glanced up at the clock to see Heath was running late. Only half an hour, but he’d normally let her know if there was a problem on the roads. She tried not to worry and turned her attention back to the open page on her laptop. And then she began to type.
Why do I want this job?
Why did she want it? She’d been flattered by the offer. It was the best move for her and Heath. She’d wanted a way out. As she sat there, trying to dream up a convincing argument, she was forced to recognise that she was lying to herself. She didn’t want the job. She didn’t want to leave Thimblebury at all. Even if Fion hadn’t been leaving, even if things continued to be as difficult as they’d been, when it came to the day where she’d have to hand the keys of Wordsworth Cottage to someone else, would she be able to do it? Her gaze ran over the kitchen, warm peachy walls and solid wooden furniture, rescued stone floors and windows dressed in pretty curtains. And then her thoughts went to the majestic hills and vast, sparkling lakes just outside her front door, and she didn’t know if she could.
Ottilie closed the laptop again, elbows on the table, chin resting on her fist as she stared into space. Maybe she had too much on her mind to write this statement tonight. Better to wait until the morning, perhaps, when she’d be fresh and her head would be clearer. She was tired, that was all.
Tired again. She’d had a lot on, but it didn’t seem right. Something else had been bothering her too. Something was late, something unexpected. She’d had her suspicions, but she’d shrugged them off. She was beginning to wonder if she was in denial.
She reached for her phone, unlocked it and sent a quick text to Stacey.
I need help.
Stacey’s reply was immediate.
Are you OK?
Not sure. I don’t suppose you have a pregnancy test lying around???
Instead of a text, the phone began to ring. Ottilie answered to a squealing Stacey.
‘No way!’ she cried. ‘For you? Please say it’s for you and not for Fion because I’m sure it’s lovely, but I don’t think I can take any more drama!’
‘It’s probably nothing. I’m a bit late, that’s all. I thought maybe Chloe might have a spare test from before. You can buy them in twin packs, right? Not that I’ve ever had to buy one.’
‘As it happens, we do have one. Want me to bring it over?’
Ottilie glanced up at the clock. Would she have time to do it before Heath’s arrival?
‘I’ll come to you,’ she decided. ‘I’ll have to be quick – Heath’s due any time.’
‘You’ll want to be able to tell him?’
‘I suppose I’d have to!’ Ottilie said. ‘I think he might need to know!’
To save time, she drove to Stacey’s, grabbed the test, promised to call once she’d done it and then raced home.
Fion called from the living room as she got back. ‘Heath’s not here yet!’
‘That’s OK!’ Ottilie shouted back as she dashed to the bathroom. ‘Traffic, I expect.’
With trembling hands, doubting that it would be anything but a negative result but her stomach churning all the same, Ottilie ripped open the packaging of the test.
Ten minutes later, Heath walked in, a bouquet in his arms.
‘Sorry I’m late,’ he said, handing the flowers to her and kissing her lightly. ‘I had something to do.’
‘That’s all right. I’ve been trying to get my head around this job application since I got home. I was about to message you, but only because I was a bit worried.’
She was doing her best to be normal, but she was dazed. She doubted she even knew what normal was right now.
‘I should have phoned. I had a meeting with the MD and things ran over so I thought I’d just get here.’
‘But you stopped to get me flowers too,’ Ottilie said, glancing at the bouquet. ‘Softie.’
‘You deserve them. I don’t treat you often enough.’
‘Yes, you do, but thank you.’
‘So…’ Heath sat down as she went to put the flowers in water. ‘You haven’t done the application yet?’
‘No. It’s so hard – I can get all my qualifications and experience down easily enough, but I have to write a personal statement too – like a mission statement type thing, you know. What I want to achieve and what I envisage bringing to the role and all that. And I don’t know what to say.’
‘But you do still want it?’
‘Yes.’ Ottilie gave an emphatic nod as she took the wine from the fridge. She poured a glass for him and took it over.
‘So you might be angry when I tell you what I’ve done.’
She frowned as she ran the tap for some water for herself. ‘What have you done?’
‘I told the MD I’ve changed my mind about the promotion. I’ve told him I don’t want it.’
Ottilie joined him at the table. ‘Why would you do that?’
‘Because’ – he took her hands in his – ‘I don’t think you really want to leave Thimblebury, do you?’
‘But we said?—’
‘I know what we said, but I can tell your heart’s not in it. Honestly, when I thought about life in Manchester with you, it would have been all right and we’d have been happy, but I don’t think my heart was in the move either. When we were out at the swimming place, I looked out and I thought how I’d never want to leave all this behind.’ He kissed her fingers. ‘Are you mad at me? I should have asked you first, but I didn’t because I thought you’d pretend to be OK with it for my sake.’
‘You know me too well.’
‘I do that.’
She wove her fingers into his to lock hands and smiled. ‘I’m not mad at you, not one bit. You’re right – I was only thinking about it before you came home.’
‘ Home ,’ he said. ‘That’s why we could never leave – because of the way you call it home, like you really mean it. Not like a house, but like…like…’ He shook his head. ‘You know what I mean even though I don’t know how to say it?’
She did. Wordsworth Cottage – and Thimblebury – had long felt like more than a house she called home. It was a place that felt like home for her soul, where she truly belonged.
‘Did I do the right thing?’ he asked. ‘I know there are still things we need to sort out?—’
‘You did. Fion’s decided to move out anyway.’
‘She has?’
‘She told me earlier. She and Damien are going to leave the village. He’s giving the house back to Melanie.’
Heath’s eyes widened. ‘He’s just going to give her the house?’
‘It’s on land that belongs to Daffodil Farm anyway, so it was never really his. I don’t know if it ever belonged to either of them, but if anyone has a claim, then I suppose it’s her.’
‘It’s big of him. I’ve got to hand it to him – there aren’t many who’d be so… noble about it. So what? He just walks away with nothing and starts again? That’s going to be hard.’
‘The other side of that is it means he must really love Fion. He’s giving up everything to be with her, after all. It would make his life far easier to give her up and patch things up with Melanie. He’d have the house back, and they’d carry on as before.’
‘He must. That’s good then. One less thing to worry about.’
‘While we’re on the subject of worrying, I’m going to add one to the list. Your gran. She saw the estate agent’s car outside here this morning. She wasn’t very happy when she worked out why.’
‘I know,’ Heath said with a grin. ‘She phoned me at work. I told her we hadn’t decided yet.’
‘I told her that too, but I don’t think she believed me. I almost feel sorry for the agent now we’ve decided not to sell – she was quite excited about this place. She liked your floor.’
‘Good.’ He grinned. ‘A lot of sweat and tears went into that floor.’
‘There’s something else,’ she said. ‘Another reason I don’t think I can take the job in Manchester now. I mean, I could, but it complicates things. I hope it doesn’t complicate things for us too much, but…’ She drew in a breath, though her heart was hammering and her chest was so tight she didn’t think she could ever take one big enough to fill her lungs. ‘I’m pregnant.’
Heath stared at her. And then his face transformed into the biggest, brightest smile. ‘You are? When…? How long…? How pregnant are you?’
‘Considering I only found out about two minutes before you arrived, I don’t know any of that other stuff.’
He kissed her full on the mouth and then downed his wine in one. ‘I’m going to be a dad!’
Ottilie laughed. ‘Yes. It’s crazy. I never thought I’d be a mum, and here we are! You’re happy?’
‘God yes! I’m so happy!’
Ottilie smiled, her worries dissipating. She didn’t even know why she’d been worried because Heath was always going to be pleased. The news was a shock to both of them, but it was more than welcome. Fion would leave, and Ottilie would be sad about that, but she would have a whole new person to think about and care for, and she couldn’t be anything but excited for that.
‘I’ll have to make some calls,’ she said. ‘Let my mum know and Stacey and everyone at the surgery…’
‘Have you told Fion?’
‘Not had a chance yet. We’ll do that shortly. I want to enjoy the moment with you first,’ Ottilie said, kissing him. ‘You’ll want to call your parents too. And I suppose we’d better go and see Flo before we do any of that.’
‘Are you going to try again with Conrad? Maybe give him a chance to meet his grandchild?’
Ottilie was thoughtful for a moment. ‘Maybe,’ she said finally. ‘It seems like a good place to start building a relationship with him, doesn’t it? He might be more willing to try for the baby’s sake, if not for mine.’
‘He’s a fool if he doesn’t,’ Heath said. He put a hand to her belly. ‘I still can’t believe it.’
‘Neither can I.’
‘I can’t believe how lucky I am. I love you so much. And I’m going to love being a family with you and our baby.’
‘Me too,’ Ottilie said. She was smiling like she might never stop, so happy that tears were filling her eyes.
Many things were still uncertain and were yet to work themselves out, but some things she knew for sure. She loved Heath with all her heart. She was going to love having his baby, and most of all, she knew for certain she was exactly where she was meant to be. In Thimblebury, the little village that had saved her when she’d been at her lowest, the place that had been her new start. It was the perfect place to bring up their baby, and she knew now that, no matter what, she never wanted to be anywhere else.
* * *
If you fell in love with the gorgeous village of Thimblebury and its cast of unforgettable characters then you’ll love the first book in our new Thimblebury series, The Village Midwife , where Zoe is hoping to make a fresh new start in the beautiful Lake District.