Chapter 14
Konstantine
Ihad initially told Drake to stop by her room every now and then to see how she was doing, but over the span of the week, the imbecile had turned it into a nightly hangout session with Arax.
Most of the day she slept, or so it seemed, but I could feel her excitement spike in the evening when he’d arrive.
I resisted the impulse to assign him more guard duty, as his recaps of their conversations were the only window I had into who my mate was, other than Reece’s investigation.
I was curious, and what I was doing wasn’t healthy, but I hung on to his every word.
From the way he described her, Arax was guarded, caring in her own way but selective of who she let into her life.
Her past was not shared with him in a way that had me believe it was purposely avoided, on her part.
While I would have liked to know the specifics of her colorful teenage years, namely her unlawful activity, I had warned Drake to be mindful of referencing anything we’d already discovered.
He told me about her love of music, her success at opening her own school, and the joy she took in teaching others.
She was a whiz at blackjack, awful at poker, and had a lot of loss in her life.
Based on Drake’s powers of deduction, her losses affected her deeply.
It brought her back to the mountains around the same time every year, to keep the memory of her father and brother alive.
It saddened me to think Arax would never know how alike we were with respect to that notion.
The more he told me about her, the more it made me rethink staying away, not wanting to get attached.
I wasn’t alone in my growing fondness for her; Drake was falling hard for Arax.
He didn’t come right out and say it, but he didn’t need to.
We had been best friends since we were kids.
Drake had always had short-lived crushes, not one for sweeping romances.
They never went further than anything casual, and he rarely, if ever, provided details about the lady, or ladies, he entertained.
However, this was different. He didn’t mince words whenever he spoke of Arax and would go on for hours if I let him.
One such night he came into my office, I was sitting with Cyrus, and we could hear his laughter as he approached. When he walked in, he took one look at me and erupted into full-blown hysteria.
“Did you get high or something?” Cyrus asked.
“No,” Drake replied, taking in gulps of air and regarding me with a guilty expression.
“What?” I asked, growing impatient.
“I don’t know if I should be telling you this, but it’s too funny not to,” he said cryptically.
“Well, spit it out,” Cyrus snapped, his patience also waning.
“She has a nickname for you,” Drake told me and paused, grinning from ear to ear. He loved the suspense he was building. “You are henceforth known as Fabio!”
Cyrus glanced at my hair and clapped his hand over his mouth. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but, dude, she’s right.”
I didn’t know what they were talking about, how could I possibly remind her of some charlatan on the covers of the cheap books my sister liked to read? Fuck these assholes, and screw Arax especially.
“How long have we been telling you to get a haircut?” Drake said wryly. “You wouldn’t listen.”
I told the two of them to get lost, but before they did, Drake became serious. “Another thing.”
“What now?” I tossed my phone on the desk and glared at him.
“She brought up the camera.”
“I couldn’t get it to work,” I quickly lied. “So I purchased her a new one.”
“I thought so.” Drake nodded. “I had to think fast and told her it was damaged from her accident. But you should know she’s bummed about losing the pictures she took.” He hesitated, and his eyes were grave and sedate. “She can see the territory, Stan.”
He and Cyrus waited for my reaction, but I didn’t give myself away. “It doesn’t matter.” I shrugged, trying to come across as cavalier as I could. “She lost them, correct?”
“Yeah, I guess,” Drake replied, surprised at my lack of concern. “It doesn’t bother you?”
“I’ll look into it,” I said quietly. “We don’t know. Maybe they weren’t photos of the territory at all.”
“But what if they were?” Cyrus asked.
“I’ll look into it,” I said again, hoping to shut down the inquiry.
“Maybe we can get the camera to work,” Drake said, mollified but unconvinced. “Her description was fairly accurate, she—”
My sharp rap on the desk made them both straighten. “I will look into it!” I snapped, then nodded wordlessly at the door, signaling the end of the discussion.
After they’d left, I sat at my desk for a long time. I’d picked up the camera from my locked drawer and flipped through the reel until I got to her picture. That picture. Feelings I didn’t want to have had rushed to the surface, and the thought of saying good-bye to her made my heart cleave in two.
Today had been Arax’s follow-up appointment with Dr. Distefano. Going into it, I knew she’d either be leaving tomorrow or staying a while longer. I didn’t know which outcome I preferred.
Regardless of which side the coin landed, I’d said to myself at the time, would be the turning point in this whole ordeal.
“Alpha?” Dr. Distefano had gestured toward me. “You can come back in now. Arax went to change.”
She had expected Drake to pick her up this morning, but her surprise could not compete with mine upon seeing her again.
The girl in the photo had stood before me, and she was magnificent.
Rivers of blue and black covered her shoulders in loose waves, she had gained a bit of rosiness in her cheeks, and the bruises that had smitten her beauty had vanquished.
Like Medusa before the curse, I had evaded her eyes, then and during the walk to the hospital. They were proving my weakness; though I’d not had one before.
Arax had kept quiet, her interest held by the castle and the outdoor grounds.
Not to say I was unimpressed by my home, but after almost three decades, it had lost some of its novelty.
However, watching how it captivated her breathed new life into the thousands-year-old walls of stone and glass carved by hand into the peak.
Arax’s presence had a way of changing my perspective—as though I was seeing that which was once familiar for the very first time—of both the castle and the land.
I’d gotten up and followed the doctor into the examination room. He adjusted his tie and consulted the clipboard he was holding. Nurse Annalee stood to the side while we spoke.
“Her results are remarkable,” he stated, using the mindlink. “I’ve never seen a patient, much less a human, recover so quickly after a fall like that. Her healing is on par with some of the strongest wolves I’ve come across.”
“You say that as though it’s a negative,” I replied, hiding my true feelings about the inevitability of the situation.
The doctor scratched his chin. “Negative, no, but curious? Most assuredly.”
Curious to him but not to me. The doctor would not be privy as to why Arax had healed with such acceleration.
Only I knew, or at the least, I had a good theory.
As my mate, Arax was more than likely not only under the protection of the Fire but subject to the healing powers of the mate bond itself.
It wasn’t luck, though ironically being mated to an alpha had indeed saved her life.
I’d played along. She had not yet emerged, so I spoke in a low voice. “Is it cause for concern?”
“In medical terms, Alpha, I’m stumped.” He laughed at his use of so base a word. “But no, not a cause for concern.”
“I see,” I said. My next question expressed sentiments I no longer wished to possess. “Maybe it would be better to keep her here longer? To be sure?”
The doctor had shaken his head, his judgment sound. “There is no need. I’ve already let her know she’s free to go,” he replied, just as Arax was walking back in. “And I’m signing off on her paperwork.”
I waited as she, the doctor, and Annalee exchanged good wishes and farewells, and we commenced on our walk back to the castle. How I didn’t force the doctor to rescind his decision, I wasn’t sure. It was what I wanted after all, Arax gone, out of my life… back to whence she came.
Was it not?
Together we strode, our silence the loudest it had ever been. I thought back over the week. I’d let my emotions get the best of me, the sleepless nights, the jealousy, and keeping her close but not close enough to temper the ache our bond had created. I would not yield.
A few covert sideways glances and I knew Arax had been laden with the same divisiveness.
Absent was the girl who had insisted on getting as far away from this place as she could.
Her mind was of two, a victim of fate’s treacherous ways.
Had I not also fallen prey to the maniacal workings of destiny, I would have carried out my original plan to reject Arax at first sight.
How could the goddess be so unforgiving, I thought, to bring a human into this fold?
Human mates were not common, but they weren’t out of the realm of possibility.
Since the pack was essential to the wolf’s existence, it usually meant the human had to sacrifice their way of life and leave it behind.
In any scenario, it was a big ask, but in mine?
I disparaged the idea. If I were not who I was, if I were an ordinary wolf, living an ordinary life, things could be different.
However, I wasn’t. I was not just an alpha, I was the Alpha, and my life was anything but ordinary.
I left Arax standing at her door, after telling her to be ready the next day for her journey home. She remained in the hall and watched me walk away, her stare searing into my skin.
Take a lesson from Orpheus and do not turn back, I’d said to myself. It will be both your undoing.
I had taken to my room rather than my office, in need of some distance from the persistent draw of the bond.
After Cyrus and Drake left, I and walked to the railing, leaning over the cool metal.
I looked out into the panoramic void, seeking some source of peace yet none was to be found.
It was a moment I’d been dreading, but it had to be done.
The time had come to have a talk with my wolf.
Apollo, I said, summoning him. He had been quiet for the better part of the week, subdued by either the proximity to his mate or angered by the lack of it.
I don’t wish to speak, he answered, I already know your thoughts.
Apollo. I sighed. You don’t have to talk, just be quiet and listen.
Starting with what my father had told me about mates, I laid out my reasons behind why I had to do what was needed.
I told him to stop thinking of it only in terms of our world but to think of it in terms of hers.
She’d be ripped away from everything and everyone she knew, I said, tasked with an inordinate amount of pressure to perform in a role she may not even want.
I couldn’t ask that of anybody, but more importantly, I couldn’t ask it of her.
Whether she was a wolf was inconsequential because being our mate would be nothing but a burden.
It could mean the difference between Arax being happy or miserable for the rest of her life.
I had to hand it to him. For a wolf who saw the world through a lens of black and white, he listened, interjecting only once.
Have you truly given up on love? he asked me.
A few weeks ago, I would have responded differently.
Love in my line of work was an institution, reduced to posturing, a show of strength.
Strength I had in droves. I didn’t need love for that.
My parents’ union was not so. They had found a way to manage all that had been asked of them, love unconditionally, and raise a family.
I was not blind to their tribulations, however.
My mother constantly worried for my father, his late nights, trips that took him away from us and his home, and, of course, his death—killed in the line of duty.
Meeting Arax had changed everything for me.
I cared for her more than I’d thought I would, and in that I found something else: a need to protect, a selflessness brought on not out of duty or obligation but because of genuine affection.
Why would someone with any sense of a moral compass willingly subject their mate to the trials they knew were unavoidable?
Therefore, my answer to Apollo’s question came to me without delay.
No.
Then what—
I haven’t given up on it, Apollo, and that is why I need to let her go.