Chapter 14 #2
He took a step toward me, and I fought the urge to crawl backward. To scramble away from the raw pain in his voice.
I lowered my head, tearing my gaze from the naked emotion in his eyes that threatened to undo me.
“Look at me,” he said. Softer now, almost pleading.
I couldn’t. I wouldn’t survive it.
“Look at me!”
I struggled to my feet, my legs shaking, and slowly raised my eyes to his. My lips trembled with unspoken words.
Something shattered in his expression. He took a step closer, then another, until there was only an inch between us.
His hand came up, hovering just beside my face like he wanted to touch me, but didn’t dare. The battle played out across his features—of want and rage and something that looked like despair.
“I should kill you where you stand,” he whispered, but there was no conviction in his voice. “It would be easier than this…”
He jerked back, turning away once again. This time he would leave, the smoke already beginning to curl around him.
No.
“Stay.”
I couldn’t stop it. Couldn’t understand why I’d said it. I reached out, grazing his arm.
His voice was flat, emotionless. “You made your choice nine days ago. Now live with it.”
Shadow and fire swallowed him whole, leaving nothing behind but the lingering sensation of his skin against my fingertips. I was all alone, my arm still outstretched, reaching for something that was no longer there.
When I made it back to my chambers, Mira still hadn’t arrived.
The second I shut the door, I collapsed forward.
Sweat dripped from my forehead in steady streams, each drop hitting the floor with a wet slap.
My legs shook violently, muscles cramping and seizing from every agonising step of the long journey back.
The material of my clothes stuck to my skin like a second layer of suffocating flesh—every thread a reminder of how close I’d come to breaking.
I pressed my palms against the cool wall, fingers splayed wide as I fought to stay upright.
I wasn’t cut out for this life. I wasn’t a soldier.
Yet I waged the most brutal war of all, one that tore me apart piece by piece.
I peeled away from the wall and stumbled toward the bathing chamber to splash cool water against my burning skin, hands shaking so badly I could barely cup the liquid.
I jerked upright at the sound of approaching footsteps, my chin dripping as I wiped my face with my sleeve.
Mira walked in, her sharp eyes sweeping over me. She wrinkled her nose and tapped her foot against the floor.
“You haven’t bathed yet?”
Guilt lanced through me, twisting my insides into knots.
“Uh… not yet. I was just… resting.” The words felt wrong in my mouth. I hated lying to her, but it seemed Tavrik had covered for me.
She didn’t pry. Instead, her face lit up like sunshine breaking through clouds, eyes crinkled at the corners as she clasped her hands together.
“Well, hurry up! Tonight, there will be music and dancing and lots of drinking.”
Great. That’s all I need.
By the time I emerged, water still beading on my skin, Mira was already deep in her element. She moved with expert speed, the muscles in her shoulders bunched visibly beneath her dress.
She never rushed. Ever.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, twisting a loose thread around my finger. “I should’ve been ready.”
She glanced up sighing softly before returning to her work.
“No need to apologise. I just want you to look perfect, and this will be my best look yet.”
She stepped back, a satisfied smile spreading across her lips.
I turned to the mirror and froze.
The black dress didn’t just hang—it flowed like liquid midnight. The gown wrapped around my throat before plunging into a deep neckline. Delicate gold chains cascaded down my chest, each link catching fire from the torchlight.
My back remained completely bare, exposed to the world’s hungry gaze. The dress split high along my thighs, silk sliding cool and smooth against my skin with every movement. Gold cuffs encircled my upper arms, squeezing just tight enough to remind me of their presence.
Mira had left my hair untouched, the wild waves tumbling freely over my shoulders and tickling my bare back. Dark kohl framed my eyes, sharpening them into emeralds.
I hardly recognised myself.
I look… beautiful.
Mira beamed, radiating pure joy. She circled me slowly, adjusting a fold here, smoothing a wrinkle there.
The door creaked open as Theo and Tavrik entered.
Theo took one look at me and twirled his finger in a circle.
“Turn around.”
I rolled my eyes but obliged, spinning slowly enough that the dress swished around my legs.
Mira practically glowed, her hands pressed together beneath her chin. “Doesn’t she look perfect?”
They just stared, jaws slack and eyes wide.
Heat crawled up my neck. Their silence was too much, heavy and suffocating and absolutely infuriating. I stepped forward and smacked them both upside the head in quick succession.
They blinked rapidly, shaking their heads.
Before I could revel in my small victory, Jasila strode through the doorway.
Something was different about her. She moved with an unusual lightness, and her shoulders had lost their ridged set. Even her fingers were uncurled from their usual fists.
But what truly stood out wasn’t her transformation, it was the way her gaze found Tavrik’s.
A smile ghosted her lips, transforming her entire face. Softening all her sharp edges. Tavrik was fighting his own grin, the corner of his mouth twitching upward.
There was electricity in the space between them.
Had I not been drowning in my own problems, I might’ve found their silent dance amusing.
“Let’s go!” Jasila’s sharp command cut through the moment.
Theo’s shoulders shot up toward his ears, and I had to bite my lips to keep from laughing out loud.
The throne room was already brimming with life when we arrived. The heavy doors swung open, releasing a wave of sound from beyond that overwhelmed me.
The pounding of the drums resonated in my chest, their rhythm so deep I felt it in my bones.
Laughter echoed through the air, mingling with the mouth-watering scent of roasted meats, sweet pastries, and spiced wine.
People were already lost in dance, their bodies twisting and turning, feet stomping in time with the hypnotic beat.
None of it mattered, because my eyes found him.
Dalkhan lounged on his throne, one leg thrown carelessly over the armrest. The dim light caught the lines of his face, shadows pooling in the hollow of his throat.
He was not alone.
My heart plummeted into my stomach, leaving a cold void in my chest.
The most stunning women draped over him like silk.
Their eager fingers trailed along his skin, raking through his dark hair.
Their palms sliding across the hard planes of his chest. One with dark hair had positioned herself beside his legs, her head angled uncomfortably while she gazed up at him in worship.
Another pressed against his side, her lips brushing his ear as she whispered things that made his mouth curve into a devastating smirk.
He let them touch him. Welcomed it. His eyes were dark and hungry as he soaked up their attention, his fingers stroking along Iznia’s bare shoulder.
I started to move forward, drawn by some unbreakable, invisible thread.
But then he leaned in and kissed her.
I froze mid-step, heels digging into the floor.
Not a brief, meaningless kiss. She melted into him, back arching like a bowstring pulled to its breaking point. Her moan cut through the music, wild and loud enough that everyone could hear her surrender. He fisted a hand in her hair, tilting her head back as he devoured her mouth.
I was going to be sick.
Acidic bile rose in my throat, and the urge to storm over and tear her away from him was overwhelming. I wanted to feel her perfect hair wrapped around my fists. Wanted to—
“Come,” Tavrik murmured close to my ear, his hand closing around my arm.
I wrenched away with enough force to make him stumble back.
I couldn’t leave—couldn’t look away even though every second was like a knife twisting deeper into my heart.
I wanted to break something. To feel glass breaking under my fists and hear the satisfying crash of destruction.
Time stretched thin as he gripped her tighter, his large hand cupping her face. His eyes were predatory, lit with something cruel.
I spun sharply, my dress whipping around my legs as I stomped toward the long table. Tavrik moved to follow, his mouth opening to speak, but I shook my head sharply.
He stared at me with the concern of an older brother, his brow furrowed and lips pressed into a worried line, but he stayed silent.
I searched for Theo, needing something—anything—to anchor me before I did something spectacularly stupid.
He was exactly where I’d expected, dancing and blissfully unbothered.
He had somehow acquired not one, but three women who were taking turns grinding against him, their bodies swaying like reeds in the wind.
Sweat dripped down his face, but his grin was wide.
He caught sight of me through the writhing mass of bodies and had the audacity to wink.
Despite the agony clawing within me, my mouth twitched. The bastard was having the time of his life, and somehow his ridiculous joy was infectious enough to crack through my misery.
Beside me, Tavrik and Jasila sat close enough that their shoulders brushed. A quiet warmth passed between them, unspoken but palpable.
I had never felt more alone.
The noise of the celebration faded to a dull roar, and even the music’s pull couldn’t affect me. I was too lost within my own mind.
I wanted Dalkhan to see me. To acknowledge me.
But he didn’t.
His eyes never left the women surrounding him, his lids heavy with hunger and his fingers trailing down Iznia’s spine.
I couldn’t do this.