Chapter 21
Chapter
Twenty-One
brENTON
The boat rocked beneath us, the wood creaking as it cut through the water. Finley clung to me, her cheek pressed to my chest, her arms wound tight as if she could steady herself by holding me.
Through our bond, her grief thundered. It was raw and sharp and endless. Yet threaded through it was something new. A faint pull, as if the walls she’d built between us were coming down. I could sense her now, clearer than ever. Not just surface emotions, but the bone-deep weight of her despair.
And she could feel me. I knew it by the way her breath caught when my sorrow bled to her. It shouldn’t please me, not when the island behind us stung with the stench of death. But I couldn’t help it. She was letting me in. Surrendering to the bond we’d spent a lifetime resisting.
She tightened her hold, and my arms curved around her stronger. I held her, letting her grief batter against mine until there was no telling whose was whose.
A shift of the rope brought my thoughts back to the boat, where Callan stood at the helm. Since I didn’t know how to sail, and neither Everly nor Javier could offer any advice, he’d offered to take us. He remained silent, his eyes fixed on the horizon, giving us space without question or demands.
The bottom of the boat rubbed against the sand, pulling me from my thoughts. She lifted her head, and I tightened my hold around her, helping her remain steady when the boat rocked as Callan beached us.
The island rose before us, its jagged mountains wrapped in an endless jungle. Vivid flowers spilled down the cliffside with colors so bright they seemed to glow against the green. Birds flew overhead, their chirps sharp and unfamiliar. The island was beautiful, but something was missing.
I felt it in the deep hollow of my chest when I couldn’t summon my smoke magic.
I reached through my mind for Hoshiko, the way I’d done a hundred times before. The connection flickered, giving me a few beats of hope before it vanished.
The barrier truly did sever our magic. It was what we wanted, so the wielder couldn’t reach Finley, but the emptiness that followed felt wrong. Unnatural.
I drew in a slow breath, realizing this was how Elias lived now. Cut off and untethered. I didn’t know how he endured it.
For several beats, I stood there, the waves moving the back of the boat, staring at the mountains that would be as much a refuge as a prison.
When I finally moved forward, ushering Finley with me and onto the sand, I didn’t do it for me or even for Finley.
I did it for Hoshiko, whose loyalty to me had once made him mistrust Finley, only to later see her for who she was.
He’d defended her and stood at her side, understanding her need to withdraw and gather her strength.
He had made this reprieve possible. So for him—and for Sama, who’d also stood beside her—I’d make certain Finley found what she needed here.
On the sandy beach, Finley’s fingers brushed against mine, tentative but seeking.
Her gaze swept the shoreline, her eyes wide and uncertain.
Still, a glimmer of adventure glistened behind them.
It was similar yet different from Vistos without the hum of magic.
It was vivid and wild and alive, but stripped of the pulse that made Vistos more than just land.
Finley leaned against me, resting her head on my shoulder, while our fingers stayed twined together.
“Should we set up camp?” She peered back at Callan, who carried our supplies and belongings off the boat.
Her voice lowered. “Do you think it would be okay to explore the island a little? Not for fun or anything like that . . .”
For the first time since the sky fell with dragon corpses, I saw the fearless girl I’d grown up with. Resilient. Finley was devastated, but she would survive this, just as she’d survived every difficulty in her life.
“It’s all right to reach for something enjoyable in the midst of so much darkness,” I said, keeping my attention on her. “Those small, carefree moments are what make the unbearable bearable. Will you let me chase a bit of fun with you?”
The sides of her lips twitched, though her nod was heavy. “We should help Callan unload everything and set up camp first.”
For close to an hour, that was what we did. While Callan decided to make camp beside a freshwater stream, Finley and I tucked ourselves close to the beach, beneath the trees, where we could still hear the lull of the waves crashing onto the sand.
When we finished, we trekked deeper into the jungle with necessary supplies in packs since we couldn’t reach into the pocket of our magic.
A canopy of green stretched overhead, so dense the sunlight only pierced through in jagged, golden lines.
Vines tangled thick as rope, draping from branch to branch like curtains.
The air was damp and rich with the scent of wet earth and blooming flowers with scarlets, yellows, and violets erupting between the leaves.
Insects hummed, wings caught in the light, and various bird calls rose and fell like unrehearsed songs.
Finley stilled when a strange noise sounded.
A soft, high-pitched chirp. It was almost melodic.
Her brows lifted when her attention landed on a tiny frog clinging to a leaf.
Its body was no bigger than my thumb, with its skin the warm bronze of a sunset.
The sound came again, threading through the jungle like a heartbeat.
She crouched in front of the small creature, her head angled. “He’s so much smaller than the ones back home.”
Her lips parted when the same sound chorused around us. Dozens of tiny frogs sang at once in a rhythm that seemed to echo from every shadow.
The corners of her mouth tilted higher, and when she peered up at me, her eyes brightened.
We hiked until the jungle opened to a wide, flowing river that spilled into a large pond. The air was thick and hot, making sweat cling to my back and dampened hair.
Without much thought, I stripped down to my underwear and dove headfirst into the water. The cold water wrapped around me, knocking the breath from my chest in an almost relieving way. When I surfaced, Finley stood watching me, her arms crossed and features uncertain.
I slicked water from my face while the current pulled me closer to her. “This”—I swept an arm through the water, sending a small spray at her—“is one of those small, carefree moments we talked about. Let yourself have it, Lolli.”
Her throat bobbed with her swallow. With a heavy exhale, she removed her clothes and boots, leaving her in her bra and underwear.
And gods, the sight of her singed my soul so that my every heartbeat called out her name.
It didn’t matter that I’d seen, touched, and tasted more the previous night.
Finley was even more stunning when she chose herself, chose her well-being and happiness.
She eased in slowly, gasping at the cold water before wading toward me. I grinned, drifting back to give her space, but then she clung to my shoulders and wrapped herself around me, her cheek finding its spot on my shoulder.
Here, with the river rushing and the jungle sounding around us, it felt like we were able to breathe again.
Her fingers braided through my hair while her breath fell as light puffs of air on my cheek.
“Thank you for coming with me,” she whispered.
I smoothed a hand down her back, loving the way she curled herself closer to me. “I told you. I go where you go.”
“I wanted you to come. Even when I said you shouldn’t.” Her admission came out small and a little broken. “I’m selfish when it comes to you, Brent. I’ve always been selfish and taken everything you’ve offered. I’ve hurt you so many times. Just last year . . .” Her breath hitched.
“It’s okay,” I soothed, wrapping my fingers through her hair. “I wanted you to take what I gave you. That’s why I offered it. Besides”—I gave her a slow, lopsided grin—“you don’t get to tally last year up and hand me some sort of emotional invoice.”
“You took care of Etienne in ways even I didn’t,” she said, tone still serious despite my tease. “You—gods, Brenton, you searched for him with me. You were the one who found him, and then you carried me to him. I relive that moment in my head over and over again.”
That old wound splintered open, as raw as the day I’d carried her through the castle.
I could still feel the weight of her in my arms, too limp, her body slack from the magic she’d torn from within herself at the human compound.
Her head had lolled back against my shoulder.
Her skin was so cold and pale, I feared she’d slip away before I reached the third floor.
Every step along the long corridor hollowed me, because I knew where I was taking her.
To him. Her intended, whom I thought she’d been in love with.
Her eyes had been dull and glassy from exhaustion until they landed on Etienne. Battered, broken, but alive. Alive because I had made damn sure of it. I’d thought the new light in her eyes meant she wanted him. That the bond we were reconnecting would go untethered once again.
Vith, it had ripped me apart. Carrying her to another male, believing I’d lose her forever. It was a cruelty I wouldn’t wish on my greatest enemy. But I’d do it again, a thousand times over, because all I had ever wanted was her happiness.
Even if it killed me to give it away.
That memory still lived in me like a blade, the sharpest reminder of what it meant to love. Her joy would always supersede my own.
“You carried your soul-bound mate to her intended,” she whispered, her voice cracking at the edges. “I love you for doing that. I love you for a million reasons, but I’m so sorry I put you in a situation that must’ve ravaged your soul.”