Chapter 29
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
FINLEY
Warm steam curled from the wooden bowl on my lap, carrying the scent of fish stew. It was a dish the people of Vistos made often and one I’d miss when we eventually went back home, after our mission was complete, although I still wasn’t sure how we’d do it.
Just yesterday, Alastor had finally been strong enough to sit upright, propped against a mountain of pillows that Javier now fussed over like a first-time mama.
This had become our new routine. Meals in Alastor’s tent, which he now shared with Javier since the day Alastor had fainted. Several times each day, the five of us gathered on the rugs Willow had given us, pretending things were normal.
Almost normal.
Javier hovered close, scolding Alastor if he tried to lift anything heavier than a spoon.
The sight pulled a thoughtful smile from me.
Mere weeks ago, I would never have pictured myself sitting cross-legged on the ground, laughing with Brenton’s friends while Javier fretted and Alastor endured with that half smirk of his.
But Brenton had eased me into his circle so seamlessly, I’d stopped feeling like an intruder days ago.
There was always space beside him. Always a hand brushing against mine. Always a kiss away from reminding me that I, too, belonged. Brenton made sure of it.
“Javier,” Alastor warned, pushing his hand away for the third time this afternoon, “if you try to feed me like a youngling again, I will make your life very inconvenient.”
Javier huffed from his spot next to Alastor. “You’re insufferable,” he muttered.
“I’m the insufferable one,” Alastor mumbled back, deadpan.
The edges of Javier’s lips twitched, suppressing the smile he tried to hide.
“I think you only pretend to hate all this attention,” Everly said through a mouthful of stew. “Gods knows George would love it.”
“Honestly,” Brenton said, leaning in with a grin that only meant trouble, “I can’t wait for all the nurturing and care you’ll receive from Teddy when she finds out.”
Alastor’s head snapped to Brenton, and he narrowed his eyes. “You will not speak of this to my cousin.” Alastor’s words carried a thread of menace that didn’t quite land with the amusement brightening his eyes.
The others laughed, but I felt the quiet slip of his magic. The way his shadows trembled at the edges and pressed in close, loyal even in their exhaustion.
“All right, all right,” I said lightly, watching Alastor drag in a quiet, slow breath. “Let’s not get him too excited. You’re supposed to be resting.”
Javier shot me a grateful look over Alastor’s shoulder as he adjusted the pillows behind Alastor again.
Alastor turned his head toward me, his smile even bigger.
“Tread carefully,” he said, voice heavy with fatigue and humor.
“I know how much Brenton enjoys being your damsel. I’d hate for him to think you’re now favoring me.
” The mage punctuated it with a wink in Brenton’s direction, whose grimace was instant.
Laughter filtered through the air again as we continued to eat.
Teases and laughter spilled easily today. Everly was different. Softer. Even after the bruise I’d left on her arm this morning during combat training. She’d grinned through it, calling me ruthless, yet it somehow felt like friendship.
The thought caught me off guard. Good but unfamiliar. Like walking barefoot on warm grass after a lifetime of snow.
“You’re quiet,” Brenton whispered against my ear while his thumb traced gently across my knee.
“Just thinking,” I replied.
“Are you going back to the astral realm to train again?” Alastor asked when Brenton and I pushed our empty bowls to the side.
A flutter built behind my ribs. During the days Alastor recovered, Brenton and I often returned to the astral realm. Each visit felt easier, calmer. Somewhere between the lessons, I’d even come to look forward to speaking with Eiran.
“I actually want to test something out,” Brenton said, his attention bouncing from me to Alastor. “That is, if Eiran will allow it.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“When Zaicha tried to pull from your magic the other day, I felt her,” Brenton said, tone determined in a way I rarely heard from him.
“The longer we held her off, the clearer it got. It’s like .
. . I could feel the individual threads of her magic, like separate strands of rope.
I feel the same when we train with Eiran.
” He shifted his weight, a hint of restless energy humming through our bond.
“I want to see if, while we’re training with Eiran, I can pull at those threads.
Not to take what’s not mine, but if I can learn how it moves and how to pull at them, maybe I can use that against her. ”
His words made me feel uneasy. I’d never felt what he described. Not with Zaicha or Eiran, whose familial bond tugged a little harder each time I saw him. Where Brenton sensed individual threads, I only felt a single, overwhelming presence.
Yet Brenton could feel it all. Could sense it in ways I couldn’t.
A small, traitorous part of me tightened at the thought. The rest of me marveled.
“That’s . . .” I swallowed, forcing down the hint of insecurity. “I think that’s smart.”
His head dipped lightly.
“If Eiran agrees, you should take the lead when we train,” I said. “I think he will. He seems to bend for me to make sure I’m comfortable around him.”
The words felt strange on my tongue. Too soft for someone who, only days ago, I’d learned was my father.
Father. I still wasn’t used to thinking it.
I’d spent my whole life without him, never once imagining my true father to be a god.
A cold, distant god. But Eiran wasn’t cold.
He was careful with me. Gentle in a way that almost made me uncomfortable.
Not because it was unwelcome, but because I didn’t know what to do with it.
“It’s strange,” I murmured, before I could stop myself. “I’ve barely known Eiran a week, and somehow he doesn’t feel foreign or out of place.”
The words slipped out like they’d been waiting for a crack in my defenses. The moment hung in the air, and I let out a nervous laugh. Brenton squeezed my knee in quiet reassurance, not dragging the moment longer. I already felt too exposed.
“Family isn’t always the people who raised us,” Everly said, tilting her head in understanding. “Sometimes it’s the people who fit. Even if it’s unexpected.”
My chest eased enough to let me breathe through the knot in my throat.
Javier let out a low huff. “Yeah, I get that.” His gaze drifted somewhere far away, as if he were looking at a life that kept slipping away.
“For a long time, Teddy and Elias were that for me. They were my family. Until I found out Elias was responsible for the death of my father and Teddy kept it from me.” His jaw hardened.
I sucked in a sharp breath, the sound too loud for the sudden quiet.
My spine straightened, my hands curling at my knee.
Through the bond that rippled from Brenton to me, his emotions swam through me, sharp and protective.
He didn’t say anything, but the heat of his defensiveness pressed against my chest like a shield raised for Teddy and Elias.
Javier ran a hand through his hair. “I keep rebuilding and restructuring my family, and every time it feels like it crumbles. Alastor almost died.” He waved a hand toward Alastor, whose complexion paled. “I didn’t think you were coming back.”
Alastor’s jaw ticked, but he didn’t look away. On his lap, his fingers flexed before he curled them into fists, the only sign that Javier’s words hit something raw.
“I came back,” he said, words slow but steady, his attention solely on Javier, “because I didn’t want to be someone else you lost. But my day will come, Javi. And when it does, you’ll have to learn how to live with memories without letting them swallow you whole.”
Javier looked away, and the quiet that followed was louder than any wail or scream.
A shiver snaked down my spine as my magic coiled around the truth in Alastor’s words. At the weight of secrets I sensed he kept.
Through our bond, Brenton jerked, a small, involuntary flinch. It was enough to know he felt it too. Not just the truth behind Alastor’s words but how near it might already be.
Javier barked out a laugh, but the humor didn’t reach his eyes. “Great pep talk, Alastor. Really uplifting.”
The tension in the tent loosened marginally, but it wasn’t enough to erase the weight. And then, instead of retreating like I expected, Javier straightened his shoulders and pushed forward.
“Delaney”—his shoulders inched down—“she met her soul-bound mate and left to be with him in the human realm. I don’t blame her, but I’m tired of being the one who stays while everyone leaves.”
“Javi—”
Alastor interrupted whatever Brenton was about to say with a sharp shake of his head.
Javier exhaled, slow and hard like the words had been stuck in his chest for too long.
“Sama and I have been talking. He wanted me to visit Vistos before any of this happened. He wants to move back here, but only if I move with him as his rider. I think I want to.” He drew his shoulders back, meeting Brenton’s gaze head-on as if he expected Brenton to pass judgment.
“Actually, I know I want to. I can’t tell you everything, but the dragon riders of Vistos protect a lot more than just this realm. ”
Javier didn’t fidget or look away but waited.
Not for permission, though. He seemed to seek Brenton’s approval.
He’d grown from a boy to a man to a warrior in such a short time, and my heart ached for all he’d lost. Sadly, the reality was that you lost many in both life and battle, and there was no protecting Javier from that.
“It would be a fresh start,” Brenton said, letting the words settle before he continued, slower this time.
“Just remember this family you keep restructuring? It still exists. You’ll always have a home in Niev.
Whether it’s Alastor’s place, mine, or Teddy and Elias’s.
You also have Everly and George. Donnie, Nate, and Ry. ”
“You’re forgetting Sierra.” Everly’s voice came light, but her smile fell before she continued. “You have good reason not to want to speak to George, but the point is you have family.”
“And our family isn’t perfect. We have plenty of flaws to go around.
” Brenton’s throat bobbed as his words came out rougher.
“But even through the hurt, we’re there for each other.
I don’t think you’ll ever really know how much it meant to Teddy that you were there the day the twins were born.
And every time you’ve shown up before and after. ”
“Teddy’s been there for me in ways I didn’t know I could count on.” Javier’s admission was both tentative and sure.
The moment lingered, softening the air around us, then Alastor’s voice cut through the quiet.
“Before you move, you’ll make amends with Teddy,” he said, his tone serious but not unkind, while his shoulders sagged deeper into the pillows. “And speak to Elias.”
Javier’s eyes moved from Alastor back to Brenton, giving his head a single nod. “I will,” he said. “Alastor gave me these memories. Elias and Teddy’s. For a year, I’ve known why they did what they did. How Teddy wasn’t just protecting Elias and George but protecting me too.”
My mind swirled. Protecting him? But before I could chase that thought, Javier continued.
“I forgave them a long time ago,” he admitted.
“That part . . . that’s not the part I’ve been stuck on.
What I can’t get past is me. Because for a while, I compared them to my parents.
” His lips twisted in distaste. “And there was no comparison.” He drew out a long string of air.
A shaky sound I felt more than heard. “No matter how hard I tried, I could never make my dad proud, so I stopped trying. But with Elias . . .” He dropped his attention to his hands, knotting them on his lap.
“He was proud of me for just being me. And Teddy paid attention. She stood up for me in ways my mom never had, even before she got sick.” Javier’s fingers tightened around his knee.
“And I hate myself a little for that. Because even knowing what they did, I still think they’re better parents than my own were. ”
Across from him, Brenton’s expression softened as he reached out, his hand covering Javier’s where it still gripped his knee.
“You can forgive yourself,” he said quietly.
“Your parents were who they were. Teddy and Elias are who they are. And they’re still here, Javi.
What you feel for any of them . . . those emotions were earned through your experiences. ”
Javier huffed out a laugh that cracked halfway through. “Maybe one day.”
No one rushed to fill the silence that followed. Brenton’s hand stayed on his while Alastor’s body molded deeper into the pillows. His breaths grew slower, heavier as exhaustion pulled him quietly into sleep.
I sat there, watching them. The unspoken loyalty, the shared history, I was only beginning to understand. My heart ached with it.
The astral realm waited for us, both in demand and welcome. But for a heartbeat, this fragile stillness was the entirety of my life.