Chapter 38
Chapter
Thirty-Eight
brENTON
“You’re not alone, Finley.”
But standing here in the kitchen, it felt like I was.
Hoshiko and Ashara were in the yard, their deep rumbling breaths like a quiet symphony. But it couldn’t reach the emptiness in my chest.
Teddy had stopped by earlier with my Luana, her tail wagging like I’d been gone for years. She’d dropped the leash in my hand and hugged me a little too tight, but it was me who held on when she inched away.
We couldn’t talk long. She was already running late for an outing the school had planned for the girls, but she’d be back, and we’d talk.
She’d seen it. Felt it. The pain that lived in my chest. And when she’d said Finley’s name, I’d snapped.
“I did this,” I’d said. “I ruined us, but vith, Teddy, I’d do it again.”
Indecision warred in her expression, and I could see she’d wanted to stay, but she couldn’t choose me over her girls. I wouldn’t allow it, so I convinced her to go while she promised to return as soon as she could.
After Teddy left, I sat on the back steps with Luana.
She hadn’t cared about the tattered remains of my heart.
She simply pressed her head atop my knees, comforting me the way she always had.
It hadn’t taken much to convince her to chase a ball I found.
Once she tuckered out, she’d made her way to Hoshiko and Ashara and curled up against the smaller dragon.
Finley had a dragon. I still couldn’t believe it.
And not just any dragon but a sweet youngling. Wide-eyed and fierce. Soft but with sharp teeth. And she’d rip me apart for hurting Finley. I couldn’t even blame her. She already loved Finley in that pure, unguarded way.
Maybe almost as much as I did.
A muscle in my jaw tightened.
It was easy to let go of hope when you’d been left behind before. Easier still to convince yourself that you weren’t just forgotten but also unwanted.
That thought slid in with familiar ease. The pain forged in an orphanage where no one came for you, where even the gentlest of goodbyes felt like proof that you weren’t worth staying for.
“Do you want to go outside with me?” Finley asked, voice cautious.
I let out a slow breath and nodded. “Yeah.”
We stepped outside, where it was still warm with the sun hanging overhead. The dragons stretched out by the tree line with Luana curled up close, fast asleep until she caught my scent. Her head popped up, ears perked, and within a few beats, she was circling me, her tail wagging in a blur.
“Is this Luana?” Finley crouched, and just like that, I was forgotten. Luana flopped onto her back at Finley’s feet, belly bared in absolute trust.
I sat in front of them, grabbing Luana’s tail so she’d pay attention to me, and she hopped up only to prop herself on my lap, her wet nose brushing against my cheek. Laughing, I pushed her head down.
Finley watched us, a quiet, tentative smile on her lips as she shifted to sit. She crossed her arms, her fingers touching the bare skin of her wrist. Silence hummed between us with everything we’d yet to say.
Finally, she drew in a breath. “About the cave . . .”
My chest tightened.
She looked down at her bare feet, pushing the hem of her pants to play with the anklet I’d made her. It was still there. “I know I hurt you. Hurt us. I’m not asking you to forgive me, but I need you to understand why.”
“Finley—”
“Let me say it.” She shook her head, pausing. “Please let me explain.”
I shut my mouth.
“I wasn’t thinking about you or our bond.
All I could think about was Zaicha using me to destroy everything.
And if the only way to stop her was to burn myself out, then”—her voice cracked—“I was ready to do it. I didn’t think about you, our tied magic, or what burning your magic out would do to you.
And when I told you I regretted binding our magic to our bond, I didn’t mean it. I was hurt and angry and lashing out.”
“It felt real.”
“I know.” Her eyes glistened as her face softened. “I know it did.”
I stared at the ground between us. “You were willing to die,” I said quietly. “To leave me. I couldn’t—” My throat tightened. “I couldn’t. Not you, Lolli. I couldn’t.”
Her breath caught.
“I stopped you because I couldn’t lose you. Because the cost of saving that boy was you. You can hate me for it, but I’d do it again.”
“I know.” She blinked fast, the tears she held back making her eyes glassy.
“Etienne said the same thing. That he would’ve stopped me, too.
” Her hand slipped into the pocket of her pants, fingers curling around something small.
When she pulled it out, she kept it tight in her fist. “If it had been you,” she whispered, “I would’ve stopped you the same way.
I would’ve ripped the world apart before letting you die. ”
Slowly, she opened her hand.
Crystal beads were in her palm, catching in the sunlight.
My throat went dry. The bracelet.
Her fingers trembled slightly as she looked down at them. “My bracelet broke,” she said quietly. Then she met my eyes, fragile yet fierce. “But that doesn’t mean we’re broken. Right?”
The air punched out of my lungs. “No, Lolli. We’ve hurt each other.
But we’ve also bled for this, for us. We’re still here.
I’m still here.” I swallowed hard, the words scraping against my dry throat.
“We’re not broken. Bruised. Maybe bleeding in places that only ever belonged to us.
But I’ll keep choosing you. Every single damn time. ”
“I’ll keep choosing you too,” she whispered. “Every single damn time. I love you, Brenton.”
Her words, her declaration . . .
Before I could think, I moved, lunging for her. My hands came up to frame her face, my fingers sliding into her hair to pull her closer.
I didn’t ease into it. I claimed, crashing my lips against hers in a rough, desperate kiss. It was all teeth and breath and an aching heart that mended with each swipe of our tongues.
She surged right back, one hand gripping my shirt, the other holding the back of my head, pulling me closer like she’d needed this as much as I did.
The bond between us burned hot. A pulse beneath my skin that was both alive and vibrant.
When we finally tore apart, we were both breathing hard with our foreheads pressed together. Her fingers were still tangled in my hair, mine still cradling her jaw.
“Lolli,” I said between each ragged breath. “My Lolli.”
She kissed me again, and I felt her lips curve against mine. “My wildfire,” she whispered. “The flames I run to.”
My heart squeezed at the sound of my own words given back to me like a vow returned.
“I love you,” I said. “Gods, I love you.”
She settled on my lap, resting the side of her head on my shoulder. “I love you. I understand why you were so angry with me, both at the cave and at the square.” She turned her face to look at me, and I couldn’t stop myself from touching her. “I’m sorry for betraying you.”
My fingers skimmed across her cheek, her jaw, her lips. I touched everywhere, mapping her pretty features beneath my fingertips.
“I’m done giving pieces of myself to Zaicha,” she said, her attentive gaze on me. “I’m done running. Etienne reminded me that this is my magic. Mine, and she doesn’t get to dictate the cost. I’m going to fight for all of me now. For you. For us.”
“I didn’t realize your intended was such an intelligent male,” I teased, letting the words roll out enough to make her snort.
She laughed exactly the way I wanted her to.
“We’ll fight her together,” I said. “For all of you and for us.”
My fingers slid down the back of her head, into the soft ends of her hair. It was shorter now, a little choppy from Everly’s job, but still her. “You look fierce. Still beautiful. Always beautiful.”
Her cheeks brightened, but her smile grew. “Kassidy and I had a bit of a sword fight. She grabbed my hair,” she said. “I used my sword to get away.”
I froze for half a beat before I barked out a laugh. “You chopped your hair mid-fight?”
She shrugged, smug and defiant.
I answered with a low, rumbling laugh and tucked a stray strand behind her ear. “My fierce, beautiful Lolli.” My amusement faltered. “Is Kassidy a threat we need to deal with?”
Finley tilted her head, her eyes sparkling. “I can handle Kassidy.”
I knew she could. I’d seen her fight. Seen her burn and rise again and again. She didn’t need me to fight her battles.
“Do you remember when I gave myself a terrible haircut because you were upset with yours?” Finley’s eyes lit with mischief as she slid her fingers in my hair and tugged lightly at the ends.
“What?” I laughed. “Do you expect me to do the same now?”
She pressed her lips together, failing to hide her smug little smile. “Maybe.”
I leaned in and brushed my nose against hers. “I’d do worse than a bad haircut for you.”
“Always such a romantic.” She inched closer, her breath warm on my mouth, ready to press her lips against mine, when . . .
Luana barreled in, wedging all sixty pounds of her cute but stubborn body between us.
Finley laughed against the sudden, wiggling wall of fur, and I let out a groan. But Luana planted herself in the middle, tail thumping as if she’d done both of us a favor. Finley ran her hand through Luana’s fur when she looked back at her house.
“Etienne’s waking up.” Her lips tilted down in a small frown as she rose to her feet.
When I shifted, she reached down to help me up. I took her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “My warrior goddess.”
She smiled. “My damsel in distress.” Then her voice quieted as her attention darted back to the house. “I want to stay with you tonight. Every night, but I don’t want to leave him alone again.”
I ran my thumb against the back of her hand.
“Then we don’t.” A plan quickly took shape, almost without thinking.
“Humans have this thing called slumber parties that we’ve adopted.
Everyone sleeps in the living room. There are piles of blankets, bed mats, and pillows everywhere.
A movie and tons of snacks. We could do the same here. Tonight.”
Finley tilted her head, her eyes brightening. “You’re serious?”
“Very,” I said. “Fair warning, Luana will end up hogging the couch. If you and Etienne don’t mind her here, that is.”
She reached down to pet Luana’s head, who leaned into her touch with a pleased huff. “She’s welcome anytime. I don’t exactly have anything to watch movies with, though.”
My eyes widened in mock-horror. “You don’t have a TV or DVD player?”
“Nope.” She turned back to the house, her brows drawn together. She gave my forearm a quick squeeze. “I’m going to check on Etienne.”
Her worry flickered through our bond, a sharp thread of protective warmth tangled with unease. I ran my fingers over the spot she’d squeezed, the echo of her touch lingering.
I waited a few beats to follow her in. The soft rise and fall of their voices drifted from the kitchen in familiar, easy banter.
It reminded me of Teddy’s and my relationship. I pulled out my phone and thumbed out a quick message before I could overthink it.
Me: Movie night tonight at your place? Finley and Etienne will be there.
Her reply came fast. No hesitation or questions. Just Teddy being Teddy.
Teddy: Always. Everly and Alastor arrived a little while ago. We’re at my place in Respandora.
My stomach tightened. Why would they have crossed the veil?
Me: Are they okay? How come they’re here?
The conversation dots appeared instantly, and when her message came through, her words stung just as they should. Guilt settled low in my belly.
Teddy: Alastor is as well as someone can be after ALMOST DYING. Thank you for telling me btw.
Me: You were in a hurry. I would’ve told you tonight. Is he all right?
Teddy: He’s annoyed with my caretaker abilities but otherwise okay.
I exhaled, the knot inside me loosening.
Me: Javi took good care of him. He’s been the perfect nursemaid.
Teddy: Alastor said the same thing. He also said you and Finley saved his life.
My thumb hovered over the screen. There wasn’t a single version of that day I could easily put for her.
Me: We did what we could.
Teddy: Thank you, brother.
Brother. It rooted deep inside me. No matter how much the world around us shifted and changed, that never would.
Me: Thank me by not picking a horror movie that’ll make me look like a coward in front of my mate.
Teddy: I heard you’re quite the damsel in distress as it is.
I huffed out a laugh, my smile stretching so wide it almost hurt.
Me: Is nothing sacred to Alastor? Is he incapable of keeping secrets?
Teddy: He’s excellent at keeping secrets. Mainly his own.
Teddy: Are you guys staying the night with us or at your own place?
I glanced through their window, where Finley held her stomach as she laughed at whatever Etienne told her.
Me: Mine. I’ll make it up to my nieces and nephews another night.
I caught Finley’s gaze when I stepped through their door with Luana barreling past me to reach Finley as if they hadn’t been together moments ago. Etienne dipped his head in a quiet nod before crouching down to scratch Luana behind her ears. His mouth curved slightly.
Finley’s smile was small but sure.
It hit me like a steady pulse behind my ribs.
“I’m done running. Etienne reminded me that this is my magic. Mine, and she doesn’t get to dictate the cost. I’m going to fight for all of me now. For you. For us.”
She was still choosing this. Choosing us.
We’d carved our way through storms and obstacles of our own making. It should’ve broken us. Left us frayed and raw. But here we were, hearts tattered but open.
Tomorrow would come with whatever it had fated for us. But tonight I had my mate. My family.
It was enough.
Now, all I had to do was convince them that going to Respandora for a movie night with my friends and family was what we needed. Totally doable.