Chapter 17
seventeen
. . .
I spent most of yesterday in my room, needing a quiet space to catch up on my assignments and rest. Sleep had been intermittent, plagued by restlessness and tormenting dreams.
Preparing for another school day, I meticulously braid my hair, weaving the white strands into two neat plaits. Feeling overwhelmed by the amount of assignments I still need to submit, I grab my bag and pray I’ll have enough time to grab something to go before submitting my Aeronautics report.
I open my door, attempting to slip out unnoticed. Instead, I do a double-take, finding Anders leaning casually against the balustrade across the hall.
“I see you chose not to invade my personal space today,” I grumble, turning toward the stairs.
“And I see that you’re as cheery as ever,” he shoots back with amusement. “You really are a grumpy thing in the morning.” He extends a hand toward me, and I glance down to see a steaming cup of tea being thrust into mine.
“You brought me tea?” I refuse to allow the weird lump in my throat to mean anything. My feelings for him keep growing without my approval.
“Don’t worry,” he replies nonchalantly, falling into step next to me as we descend the stairs together. “It’s more for me than for you. This way, your mouth is busy consuming your first caffeine hit instead of firing off snarky comments before I’ve had my breakfast.”
I feel a smile tugging at my lips despite my resolve to remain grumpy. I take a tentative sip of the tea as we reach the bottom of the stairs, discovering it’s the perfect blend of honey and green tea.
“About our little trip to the Isles,” he starts, pulling me into an alcove. “I never got to finish explaining. We can go next month. Their chief is unavailable until then.” I nod, taking another sip.
“I haven’t been able to find any texts, but I’m not giving up on that. Last week in Bonding, that Seer’s book Professor Becca uploaded—I want to see the whole thing.”
“It’s a good idea.”
Students pass us, unaware of us as they take the covered walkway to the dining hall. “If you need help, just let me know.” His hand moves to my lower back as we slide into the flow of students.
When we enter the rush of the dining hall, I swear I feel a gentle squeeze of his hand on my hip, guiding me through the throng of students. By the time the crowd thins for him, Anders has already made his way across the room, taking a seat with Trysten and Elex, leaving me reeling.
“Rae,” Kellan calls out as he quickens his pace to catch up to me. A bright smile spreads across his face. “Hey! Didn’t see you yesterday. Aolyn mentioned you weren’t feeling well?” We step into the line for simple fare.
“I’m okay now,” I reply, attempting to shake off the lingering fatigue.
“I just didn’t sleep well. How was Mori?
” As we inch closer to the breakfast window, his eyes light up as he begins sharing every detail about his recent visit to the intelligence room.
His words tumble out in a stream of consciousness, and I mentally note to discuss the possibility of Kellan visiting the one at the palace.
When he turns the conversation to my weekend, I hesitate before admitting I had gone to the game.
I keep it vague, not wanting to delve into details.
I’m not ready to share how I actually enjoyed watching Anders or dish out details about Cole.
I’m not sure how we’ve ended up here. I usually tell Kellan everything, but this year, things feel different between us.
As we finally reach the window, I grab a plate with an assortment of fruit and a berry muffin to take back to the dorm while I submit my work. I glance over to find Kellan grabbing the same.
“Why are you eating this? They have protein dishes over there.” I gesture to the far side of the dining hall, where heaping plates of sausages and browned potatoes wait in the windows.
He shrugs with a faint blush tinging his cheeks. “I don’t know. I just wanted to talk to you.” I roll my eyes playfully and tell him to go get what he wants, and promise to talk more later.
Just as I’m about to head back to Taeolyn, Trysten corners me with a nervous smile.
“Morning, Raea.” He fidgets, glancing at Anders, and then back to me.
I wait, wondering what he needs before he admits he’s finally ready to take over my training.
On days when I don’t run, I meet him in the gym.
I don’t know what prompted the discussion, or what Anders said to convince him, but I agree, thankful that he even offered.
Classes drag today as most involve discussing random events, how to clean a transport, and so on, with everyone’s focus—even the professors—clearly on our upcoming break.
I walk with Ciara and Tate to lunch, sitting with our typical group.
Kamden waves to us from where he’s sitting with the junior Recons.
At the next table over, Kellan looks up and does the same, and I can’t help but notice the hint of sadness in his expression.
He’s really taking this whole divisions arrangement poorly.
I offer him a sad smile before plopping down into my seat.
“Looks like Anders has another admirer,” Ciara teases as she gestures across the hall.
I glance up and catch sight of a girl reaching out toward Anders, her fingers almost brushing against his arm. I can’t help but stifle a laugh as he jerks away, nearly elbowing the guy standing in line beside him.
The girl seems unfazed as she twirls her long, brown hair around her finger, biting her bottom lip in a far too exaggerated manner. She leans in a little closer, her eyes sparkling with hope—but Anders’ expression quickly shifts from mildly annoyed to uncomfortable.
He mutters something I can only assume is a curt dismissal as I watch her flirtatious, doe-eyed gaze shift to hatred.
She crosses her arms tightly across her chest, her cheeks turning a shade similar to strawberries.
Everyone in the hall can hear her shriek of annoyance when she retorts, “It’s Laci, not Kara! ”
She storms off, leaving Anders visibly relieved, yet amused by the encounter. Tate, Ciara, and I share a chuckle over the drama. It’s a familiar scene—Anders and the determined flirt attempting to win him over when nobody else has managed.
“I’d tap that,” Tate remarks beside me. “Seriously, what do all these women see in him anyway?”
I feel a hint of a blush as I avert my gaze to my plate.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but the truth is, Anders is…
Anders. His confidence, which often borders on arrogance, has a strange charm that is growing on me.
And dare I say it, but kindness lurks beneath that broody exterior which I’ve come to love.
I doubt many people ever get to see that side of him.
Plus, his looks. I can’t even pick just one thing—the man is the embodiment of every fantasy I have.
“How did you do on the Aeronautics exam?” Ciara interjects, pulling me from my thoughts.
A grin spreads across my face as I tell her I scored a hundred percent. My body hums, a tingling sensation sliding down my spine, both infuriating and exhilarating at the same time. I don’t have to turn to know who’s behind me.
I feel his hot breath tickling my neck as he leans down to whisper in my ear. His presence is borderline intoxicating, and it’s a struggle not to lean back into him. “Care to join me by the river for lunch?” he asks, keeping his voice low and inviting.
I gasp softly, caught off guard as his fingers graze my arm ever so slightly. What is he doing? This is too bold, too intimate, especially in front of…everyone.
It takes a moment to gather my thoughts, but I respond, “I’m quite happy here, but enjoy.
” I feign indifference even though the idea of joining him is more than tempting.
The last thing either of us needs is the gossip that will spread like wildfire if someone sees us.
Instead, I offer him a playful smile, hoping to mask my internal conflict, then redirect my attention back to Tate, who is now deep in conversation with a few others.
“I swear Professor Trygg hates me,” Tate snaps in frustration. “How the hell was I supposed to know that the thinner the atmosphere, the harder it is for the pods?” I’m all too aware of Anders lingering behind me like he has more to say before making his way across the dining hall.
Deep down, I know I shouldn’t care that I turned him down, but I do, and shame fills me.
Another realization that surprises me. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, and that thought unsettles me more than it should.
He seems so nonchalant in rejecting women, yet the idea of doing the same to him fills me with a strange sense of guilt.
I watch his retreating form as he strides through the door, his mask firmly intact, yet I notice the subtle way his free hand is clenched tightly at his side.
As if he can sense my gaze lingering on him, he pauses and turns, locking eyes with me. The world around us fades, and for a heartbeat, it’s just the two of us, the moment charged with possibilities and maybe something more.
I sit in Modern Science, and all I can think about is leaving Anders to eat alone.
I don’t know why the guilt is eating me up so much, but it is.
After classes, I’ll have to make it up to him somehow.
With our running club scheduled for this evening, I can probably make a detour to turn things around.
Professor Mathison, a short, frail man, stands behind his worktable and projects a holographic image of our system—the seven suns, seventy-two planets, and hundreds of moons—springing to life in vivid colors.
“Who here can tell me why it’s impossible for all seventy-two planets to rotate, keeping time with each other?
And why is it even more impossible that our planets orbit the seven suns as they do? ”