Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
I inhale sharply and my eyes snap open. Panic rises as I brace for the pain to flood back through me.
But there is nothing; just the lingering cold dampness of the cavern and a solid yet soft form holding me.
The bare arms draped around my torso tighten, settling me.
“You’re safe.” Mikael shifts underneath me, his head nuzzling my neck. His legs are spread out on either side of me, and my back rests against his chest.
I force myself to match the cadence of his breath, evening out my own to slow my racing heart. I arch my head to the side and rest it against his shoulder so I can see his face.
“Have you been holding me since I passed out?” Sleepiness still clings to my voice when I respond.
“After your wounds healed, I couldn’t pass on the opportunity,” he says playfully.
“I suppose that’s fine—but only this one time, considering.” I sink further into his embrace, relaxing.
“Considering.” Mikael echoes my statement.
Glancing around, I see we’re in the alcove, my cloak and his vest and jacket laid out on the ground near the dying fire. The glowing embers still give off some warmth.
Now that my senses have reoriented, I realize I’m topless—and should be cold—but Mikael’s covered me with one of the cloaks. Even though he runs colder than a normal human, our combined body heat keeps me comfortable.
“What happened to my tunic? How long have I been out?” I ask.
“It wasn’t salvageable, and if I had to guess, ten hours.
” He gently kisses my shoulder. “Longer than I preferred, but the burns were bad. Your skin was raw and blistered on your right side, where most of the flame caught you. The rest was red and inflamed from the heat of your clothing. I did not rest until your healing was complete, including the wounds on your leg, which you lied to me about. Do you feel okay? Do you think the poison is still in your system?”
“No, I don’t think so. I only feel a bit sore. Like I would after a long day’s ride,” I respond.
“Good.” He gently runs a hand over my arm before clasping his wrist again, sealing me within his embrace once more.
A chill spreads through me, and it’s not from the damp air. Of course he would do anything to save me—that much is clear.
But it’s the tender touch and protective hold that stirs something in my soul, a part of me that I thought I’d eradicated.
He didn’t rest until I was healed.
Twisting my head, I plant a kiss on his neck as a token of gratitude. It seems fitting to give him something in return for caring for me. Not that he requires or expects it.
A groan rumbles against my lips, traveling down the column of his throat and into me through our contact. A scattering of butterflies erupts in my stomach at the way the sound vibrates against my mouth.
I can’t control the way it turns me on. How my kiss seems to satisfy him so much.
An overwhelming urge to really thank him floods in.
I’ve been fighting against the pull between us, and my broken heart has slowly begun repairing itself after each of his confessions.
At this point, I might die in the next few hours facing a dragon. Plus, what is life if not to enjoy a bit of pleasure along the way?
I push out of his arms and turn around, sitting in his lap. The cloak falls down my back, baring my naked flesh to him, and the chill in the air brings my nipples to their peak.
Mikael’s piercing gray eyes rove across the lines of my face, hungry with desire—but hesitant. They hold my gaze before moving down to the hair that now barely covers my breasts. He brushes it away from my shoulders, taking in the view.
A fang pierces his lower lip, drawing blood as he exhales.
“Bryn…” My name is a breathy whisper as his gaze meets mine again. “What—”
Before he can finish his sentence, I place my finger against his lips, then lean down to trail small kisses along his neck.
I nip at his skin, in the same place he loved to sink his fangs into me.
Mikael’s fingers dig into my thighs as a quiet moan comes from him.
I move my mouth to his and kiss him like it’s going to be the last time.
He grips my hip with one hand as his other slides up my back and moves to the nape of my neck, tangling in my hair.
Mikael pulls me closer to him, deepening our kiss, sweeping his tongue against mine. A throaty moan escapes me. Oh, how I loved kissing this man.
His erection presses against his pants and the aching, sensitive parts of myself.
I roll my hips along his length, deepening the pleasure the friction provides. It spreads between the apex of my thighs, my arousal building.
“Bryn, stop, it’s not…” Mikael starts, but I cut him off.
“It is,” I answer against his lips, already knowing what he’s going to say.
I want what we’re doing, and need more.
I’m so overcome with a desire to provide pleasure for us both that I don’t care if I regret it later. It’s been too long since I’ve had the type of release I know he can deliver.
It doesn’t matter that we’re filthy and I almost died—I need him.
A primal desire has taken over, and I can’t deny the path laid before me. Besides, I’m not promised tomorrow; I see that now.
He breaks our kiss, and my eyes flit open to meet his. They’re glazed over in pleasure as he pulls his bottom lip into his mouth. “If you remain in such a position, it will take significant effort to keep myself from devouring you.”
I want him to devour me.
To consume me wholly, without resistance.
He holds my gaze, uncertainty flickering across his features when I undo the laces of my pants, loosening the waistband. He mutters something unintelligible, shaking his head as I guide two of his fingers inside me with ease.
A different kind of fire ignites within my core as he works my sensitive spot, exactly where I love, while his free hand kneads my breast, thumb circling my nipple.
Untying the laces of his pants, I wrap my hand around his cock. A deep groan of pleasure escapes when I stroke his length. His eyes flutter, closing, as his head arches back and drops against the stone wall.
I want us to reach the edge together.
My head falls forward and I throw my palm against the wall for support as the sensation crests. I moan as wave after wave of ecstasy hits with each motion of his fingers.
“Oh, fuck, Bryn!” he cries out, his veins pulsing beneath my hand.
Panting, I drop my forehead to his. “Fuck me, Mikael. Fill me with the release you deserve.”
“Damn you. I want to. So. Badly.” Mikael shakes his head, his expression shifting from bliss to agony. He pulls out his fingers, and I let out a whimper from how sensitive I’ve become. “I want to hear you scream my name and feel you pulse around my cock.”
I practically liquefy again at his words, getting more aroused, wanting to feel the same. “Then make me scream.”
Now it’s me who’s gripping his neck, pulling him into a kiss once more. He doesn’t deny me, but the intensity is gone. He leans away and puts his palms on my thighs.
“No more.” The words are a strained groan. “I shouldn’t have even done what I did.”
“Why?” I’m confused. And he’s still hard.
“My blood is still in your system, and as much as I’d like to have you right here in this alcove, I won’t dishonor you. I told you I would not control you.”
Oh.
Just as quickly as I was aroused, my stomach sinks. “Why didn’t you stop me?”
“I tried.”
“Not very hard.” My brows furrow at his response.
I thought I wouldn’t regret doing that, but now, I’m pissed that I lost myself to the lust brought on by his blood—that my conscious hate didn’t win. Which is why I never wanted to drink from him. I didn’t want to lose control, to be vulnerable.
“Can you blame me? You are what I desire in the daylight, and what fills my dreams at night. I want to do all manner of things for you and to you. I will never hesitate to give you what you crave.” Mikael emphasizes the last word, then pinches the bridge of his nose.
He looks at me, staring into my soul, then continues.
“I know you; every fiber of your being is woven through mine. I know exactly what you like, and how exactly to pleasure my mate when she needs release after a stressful day. Besides, my blood doesn’t make you do things you don’t want to do.
It only heightens that which you already feel.
If you truly hated me—wanted me dead, and out of your life—this would not have been your response. ”
Those words break the chains of his magic, rattling me and every half-truth I keep telling myself about him. He refused to do anything more, even though he wanted it, and could have taken advantage of the influence his blood has on heightening arousal.
Mikael easily turns me around, placing me between his legs again. He covers me back up with the cloak and wraps his arms around me like we were before I started trying to have sex in a cave, of all places.
“I don’t blame you.” I can’t. This was me using him, even after telling myself I hated him. Mikael’s been open about wanting me since he showed up, and I offered myself on a platter to him. But he stopped us when I told him to do more, and for that my respect for him increases.
He is still the man I fell in love with. Even if I don’t want to admit it, even if I want to hate him.
“Let’s just get a few more hours of rest before heading up the mountain.” He pulls me tighter against him, still protecting me.
I don’t fight it. Instead, I curl into him. What’s done is done, and I don’t actually regret it. Maybe a good hate fuck will be good for me when the magic of his blood wanes and I’m fully making the decision.
We sit in silence for a while until he whispers in my ear. “Just know, if and when you’re ready, I plan to do more than make you scream.”